Could This Break Us Up?!

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Nicole Walters Podcast

The Nicole Walters Podcast

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SHOW NOTES

One question y’all have asked is, “What is it like working with a partner?” and until recently, I was in the camp of don’t do it.

In this chat, The Misterfella and I are chatting about our experience working together on the Nothing is Missing book tour. You’re getting the real real on what went well and what bumps we ran into.

And friends, season 4 starts next week so do not miss it! From our conversations here and on the road, I know you’re ready for the transition from starting fresh to living boldly. Talk then friend!

 

Nicole:

Hey y’all, I love that we’re about to have this chat because I’m here with your favorite person. He’s my favorite too but I swear you all like him more than I do because especially post-tour when you had a chance to meet him. So many of you were like, No, this is our new favorite person. So we’re here with the Misterfella, the love of my life Mr. Alex Csillag, he’s here today.

Alex:

Hello, pleasure to be here again.

Nicole:

Oh gosh, not the podcast voice.

Alex:

Always with the podcast voice. 

Nicole:

Hello, pleasure to be here. And I have to tell you, if you don’t follow if we have clips on YouTube. I’ve never shared this but so you know we have a YouTube channel for the podcast so if you head over there you can actually see like expanded video and clips and all that and then obviously I share on social but the reason I’m calling out today is that we look like trash.

Alex:
Oh my god.

Nicole:
Hot mess.

Alex:
Feel like trash, look like trash, all of it.

Nicole:

All of it. So tell the people why we are are dragging our tails into this.

Alex:

Because we’re pretending like we’re younger than we are. <laughs> We tried to have a life last night.

Nicole:
That was a terrible idea.

Alex:
It was it was.

Nicole:
We have children how dare we think we can have a life!

Alex:
Can I just highlight what this morning gave?


Nicole:
Please give, literally just to set the tone. We have a morning routine with handling the baby, let’s let’s lay the groundwork.

Alex:
We have a new morning routine is get up at 7:15. That’s just before/roughly the same time as the baby wakes up. That’s Ally, she’s 11 but we call her the baby. <laughs> So around 7:15 I get breakfast together for us. You know I’ll cook like a breakfast sandwich or some scrambled eggs or whatever. And then she packs her lunch and stuff. And then we go over our Word of the Day where we’re trying to expand our vocabulary.

Nicole:

What’s the word of the day, for everyone who’s trying to learn?

Alex:
We didn’t do one today…

Nicole:

What has it been? Oh, It’s pandemonium.

Alex:

Yes yesterday was pandemonium, which actually described this morning. 

Nicole:
We are equipping our child, a mess.

Alex:

And and then we do about five to 10 minutes or whatever time that we can get in she’s learning French on Duolingo and I’m doing Spanish on Babble and so we’ll get in some language and then we go to school and I get her there in time so she can get in like peacefully, go to her locker, do not rush… And this morning, this morning I wake up at 8:10, 8:10!

Nicole:
First of all, how do we wake up? Tell the truth. It wasn’t an alarm.

Alex:

I woke up just like from like oh my god I need to be up it’s the morning but little did I know my phone was going off, Nicole’s phone was going off, banging on the door, missed FaceTime calls. All these things as we woke up we heard banging on the door and I looked at the clock, it’s 8:10, school starts at 8:30. I was like oh my god missed breakfast, missed our entire morning routine, drag my butt out of bed and got her to school on time like a champ!

Nicole:
Like a champ! Okay, I will say for the record this fella and we’ve been on it okay? Like we usually, we get her out the door and we adjust, we pay attention like what do we need to change the schedule whatever. I mean we just fell apart and it was all because of Halloween! We lied to ourselves. We took her trick or treating and then after we took her trick or treating we were like great she’s in bed it’s like 839, we got time! Let’s just have a cocktail.

Alex:
Let’s go to our local spot…

Nicole:
And visit some friends. It’ll be nice you know not too far away, we got this right? You know, walking distance like just down the block, around the corner. This is gonna be beautiful. Oh every parent relates to this. We messed around and tried to live like the youth and have our own life and we paid for it this morning.

Alex:

My god and it’s good thing we had to talk about like things should go a certain way but sometimes things happens. Adults don’t always do things as it’s supposed to go, just like with the pickup stuff.

Nicole:

And so she was ready.

Alex:

She was ready. So this morning I was like remember when we talked about that things don’t always go according to plan. Thank you for rolling with it.

Nicole:
I love that.

Alex:
We had a whole morning, I totally forgot to set my alarm.

Nicole:

So here we are, here we’re long story to tell you we look terrible this morning.

Alex:
Terrible, I throw on, I have two different socks on. I was just at the doctor’s, rushed over here. They got some blood work. They missed my vein so I got stuck in my right, stuck in my left.

Nicole:

Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know, I didn’t even get to catch up. But y’all know like I am in sweats, no makeup, wig off kilter, eyebrows, I hope they match. They probably look like fraternal twins versus identical twins like it is a mess. So just to let you know, I hope wherever we find you that you are in good condition, because we are a mess.

So, you know, we’re gonna kind of not breeze through this chat, because I’m excited to talk about what we’re going to talk about, because we’ve never discussed it before. But we’re also hungry, and we need to eat something. So just letting you know the energy of it is, if you are in a place where you’re like, let’s get the show on the road, because you have things to do, this is the perfect chat for you.

So the thing I want to talk about is, and the reason why you’re here is two things one, next week, when you listen to the conversation I have on the pod, I’m actually going to be ending this season of the Nicole Walters podcast. Gasp!

So it sounds bigger, I am not ending the podcast, overall, I am shifting the conversation from fresh starts to living boldly. Now, I’m gonna go into detail about that but that also includes having guests, you know, here that I want to make sure every conversation I bring to you is really in alignment with where you are and where I am. And that also means that the Misterfella, who is easily one of the favorite guests that we have…

Alex:
Rightfully so.

Nicole:
Our conversations are going to change here. So they’re going to be more vulnerable, more honest, more deep dives, and some of you will like it, and some of you will not and either way, we will all grow. So we’re going to talk about something very real today that I have learned, that we went through, and people experience from the outside, but you know, we’re going to talk a little bit about it from our side. And I’ll just say it, we worked together for the first time. And I wanted to share with that site, because people always ask me what what is like working with a spouse or a partner? And what does that do for you?

So I’ll kick it off with have you ever worked with because you’re in the industry, have you ever worked with a partner or spouse or well not spouse obviously, a partner or a girlfriend before?

Alex:

On, like, personal projects here and there.

Nicole:
Oh!

Alex:

You know, just like if it was a project I was on, like, past girlfriends might have helped me out with certain aspects of it. But nothing like this.

Nicole:

Nothing like this. So how did that work for you? When you worked with them before? Do you have any thoughts about like, what it’s like to I have tons of thoughts about working with partners, some trauma-based, some legit. So you tell me, what has that been like for you in the past?

Alex:

Well, in the past, I mean, even just working with friends, I’ll even just start there. Like I’ve had past experiences where I was working with friends of mine, like more regularly and a little bit more seriously. And then you kind of get into it, you have disagreements about certain things. And then I mean, long story short, we’re not friends anymore. Right? Like, you know, we did some good music together and whatever. But you know, now we’re not friends. And so since that whole situation, I’m very careful with who I work with, like, whether it be a friend or a spouse or partner or whatever, I’ve always been a little weary since then, because I would rather keep my friendship, I would rather keep my relationship strong than try to, like, not force a work relationship but like, that’s more important to me to keep my personal relationships a friendship, you know, and home life and that’s, that’s the priority.

Nicole:

No, for sure. I feel like a lot of people share that feeling of like, I don’t want to do anything, because the relationship matters a lot, you know, or they’re just doing it for the first time. And they’re like, Oh, it’ll be fine. Why wouldn’t I want to work with my bestie? You know, but then they learn very quickly.

Alex:
It’s very different.

Nicole:
It’s complex, what type of like, what, when did you know it was going bad? Oh, um, whenever you I love the story. I love the choice because I’m gonna let you spell and then I’m gonna say my thing. Listen, when did you know it was going bad in some of these relationships?

Alex:

The one with the friend?

Nicole:
Yeah, any of them.

Alex:
Okay, so that one, for example, it was really just the thing of, you know, we were just kind of starting out and we were kind of like, not using each other but we were like, you know, we filled each other like gaps of knowledge, or ability.

Nicole:
But that’s what everyone says works! People are like, Well, you’re the things that I’m not and…

Alex:
Right. And so the problem is, problems started to arise when I started work with other people as well. It wasn’t just about this relationship. I’m also trying to cultivate other relationships.

Nicole:
Like jealousy?

Alex:
Yeah, maybe a little bit of jealousy or like, you know, not getting not getting all the attention or all the effort. I don’t. I don’t know what it was, but you know, whatever it was, it just became a problem because I’m like, I’m trying to work with many people. So I’m like, if this is an issue, like this is a major issue.

Nicole:
Wow. So this is a different type of mess. I think so for me, the thing that always would come up was more of a that whole thing of Oh, you have these skills, but I have these skills, but we also realize that like you, you maybe aren’t showing up the way you said you would so like for me, it’s always I’m not partner-inclined. Like I don’t like it. I do not like partnerships, mostly because I know my work style and I Know how much we will talk about with, with how we work together, I know my work style, I know who I am, I know how I like to show up. And no one will ever care the way I do about my stuff, right?

So even in my previous marriage, you know, when my my ex would say, we’re partners, you know, like, or I love this partnership, I would always shut that down, I would say this is no, this is not a partnership, this is my company, it’s my business, my name is on it. And people can take that any way they want to. Which preview of next season, we’re keeping it very real avail. You know, people can take that any way they want to, you know, and there are learnings I have from that relationship and how I managed my business and my relationship, you know, what that meant about respect and trust, and all those things. Things that I do not bring into this relationship. So it didn’t, it didn’t even occur to me then how telling it was that I was almost protecting my business from my partner.

And that I did not feel like that was something I wanted at the time, you know, that says more about me than it does about my partner, you know, that I was like, No, you are not in this, you know, if you do work you’re in any capacity is as an employee, here’s your check. This is your role. This is that. And I think on some levels, that was because I wanted to do the thing that you’re talking about, protect the relationship. Where I was, like, if it’s very clear that I am CEO, you are employee, this is what it is here are your tasks and responsibilities, do them or don’t be terminated, you know, then it isn’t a question of, you know, well, I need more time or I need whatever else, but then it doesn’t work because of the relationship, it always gets cloudy.

Alex:
Yeah, that’s a major thing. Like, especially like if you’re working for a friend or a partner, like some people have the attitude that because you’re working for somebody you know, or you’re tight with that you get some slack.

Nicole:
Mm hmm.

Alex:

And that is not the time to try to get that slack. That is the time to work even harder, because you’re working for somebody that you know and care about and love and so you should do your job properly.

Nicole:
Or better!

Alex:
Or even better, I mean, you should always do your job right and properly. But I mean, if especially if it’s somebody that you love or care about your friends with, like you need to work even harder and make sure it’s done. Because that’s how you mess up a relationship. That’s where it goes downhill.

Nicole:
But that’s also a major difference in opinion and work styles and work ethic to begin with because I think there’s so many people out there who have even employees. I struggle with this where people will work with me, and they’ll know that Nicole Walters on social media, who is grace-filled, and hugs and love and all that who is I mean, you can attest to this very much who I am. But the work-Nicole still has obligations and bills, it’s different, you know, and I think that family members get that confused. You know, spouses and partners will get that confused, and just strangers. I have stopped hiring anyone who has ever signed up for a course with me or has worked with me before because the mental shift and the expectation from enjoying the outcome of the product versus being part of making the product. People never know what it takes. And it’s not their job to understand it. You know, it really isn’t.

Alex:
That’s a big one.

Nicole:
So let’s talk about what it took for us to work together because I gotta tell you, I didn’t want to do it. I was scared.

Alex:

Yeah, I mean, I bet. It was new territory.

Nicole:
Were you scared? Were you worried about it?

Alex:
Well no, because I know how I operate.

Nicole:
<laughs> So like, you weren’t scared of me? You weren’t like, Oh, what if this girl…

Alex:
I know how to handle you. <laughs>

Nicole:

Okay. Okay, so y’all we just finished, came back only probably like 12, 15 days ago. It’s not long ago from the Nothing is Missing book tour. So if you have been keeping up around social at Nicole Walters, you know that I just released the New York Times best selling book, USA Today best selling, Book Publisher Weekly best selling book… Nothing is Missing. And I’m so grateful, it’s my memoir. But I had the opportunity to meet so many of you across the nation in our nationwide tour. And in order to facilitate and be at that tour, I had a team with me on the ground, which was a blessing. But part of that team for the very first time was my partner Alex, who was there as tour manager on the ground. So he coordinated my drivers, my calls, check ins, flights, just all these logistics around just making sure I was where I needed to be when I needed to be there and fed, dressed, ready to go and that, you know, glam. I mean, literally, he just made sure that all I had to worry about was serving and serving well. So thank you for that by the way.

Alex:
You’re welcome.

Nicole:
I love you. I love you and you’re so great. But that said it was the first time we’ve ever worked together and we decided to jump right in and be together for like 10 days straight. So truth moment, what do you think? How was it for you?

Alex:
It was fine. I mean, there’s definitely…

Nicole:
Not fine!

Alex:
It was fine. It was great. I mean, it was fun.

Nicole:

No, no honest answer. Not it was the best time of my life, God, it was amazing. I was just in awe of how amazing you are now, and this is why I love you because you told me the truth people don’t even know like, the way you challenge me and like, go ahead. Okay, so how’d it go?

Alex:
No, it was amazing. I mean, everything was very went, like, relatively smooth and everyone was happy.

Nicole:

We’re telling the truth, this is leaning into the truth. We had bumps, there was stuff that came up during that tour that filled the room. You know, we don’t have to go into detail around what that is because I’m going to talk about that next season in a very pointed way, you know, but there were things that came up.

Alex:
Yeah there, there were things that came up.

Nicole:
Divorce related things, kid related things, it was stressful.

Alex:
So I’ll separate the two because as far as the tour itself, and how things ran as like the job, everything ran like pretty, pretty smooth. There was a little bit of tardiness, there was a little bit of like flexibility in terms of scheduling. But like everything ran really, really well. All the events were super successful.

Nicole:
The team was tight.

Alex:
The team was tight. There were bumps along the way on a personal level, like in our personal life.


Nicole:

Isn’t that what causes a problem? The personal stuff, right?

Alex:

That’s what caused like, some bumps with scheduling or like, whatever. But um, the main thing that I had to navigate on my side was when to push you, when to let it be, when to say something. And know what gaps to fill, and when to just let it be. Like those are, I mean, it’s a little bit complex.

Nicole:

Talk about it, just be honest. So what’s that like, because I have an idea of I know what it’s like to be me inside my body. Right? I know what I think is difficult about me. But I also know, and I say difficult honestly, I know what’s great about me too, you know, like, I know how I show up and what’s required. But from the outside, I’d love to hear like kind of one, you did an excellent job.

Alex:
Thank you.

Nicole:
I mean, I felt loved, I felt cared for, I felt safe. I felt protected, I felt prioritized, you know, when I needed to be prioritized. And I’m grateful because there’s an intentionality. And a, I don’t want to use the self-sacrifice, but you were willing to put yourself second to assure the needs of the season, because it ultimately helps our family in general. So I just really love and appreciate you for that. Because I’ve never experienced that before. So thank you. But that said, I know there were times where it wasn’t easy. So let’s talk a little bit about what I’m like behind the scenes on tour because people only know what I am when I show up.

Alex:

Right. So talking about those differences, like Yeah, you are very, like you said, grace-filled and kind and happy. And blah, blah, blah, and all those great things when it comes to work and business and scheduling and professionalism and all these things, I mean, you are like, what you’re very on it, like, and you take it really seriously. And you should.

Nicole:
Like near tears seriousness.

Alex:
And yeah, very serious because you know, I don’t know if it’s from your own personal trauma or wherever it comes from.

Nicole:
We’ll break that down next season. Some of it is anxiety.

Alex:

Sure, just because you don’t want the one thing you mess up on to create some kind of trickle down effect and all the other things to follow, which I totally understand what to let people down, no one to let people down. And I understand when you are like the star, like this is this tour is, you’re the star of this tour.

Nicole:

I would say I’m the lead. The star of the tour is my community, you know, to me.

Alex:
So you’re the lead.

Nicole:
So the truth is no matter what goes wrong, I don’t do anything without a whole team behind me. But people will say it’s Nicole that didn’t do it. And I’m just very aware of that. I don’t want to let people down, you know?

Alex:
I understand the stress because even in a company, it all falls down to the CEO, even if there was just some lower level employee that did something you know, so I totally get it, it all falls on your head. But you like handled everything really great. And but…

Nicole:
I think you’re being generous.

Alex:
You do take things very seriously. And I knew coming into this that I needed to match that energy. Because we weren’t here to play around or play nice. We’re here to get the job done. And you never see me and I, as a musician, I’ve gone on tour, I’m used to running like falling itineraries and like knowing what’s going on. And like we’ve talked about, I’m always the one that if nobody steps up to the plate to just handle it, I will always be the one. So I’m not a stranger to like stepping into any kind of leadership roles or coordinating or whatever.

So I knew that this time and we’ve talked about even when I go into when I go into performances, you know, and we’ve gotten to like little tiffs or like whatever and talk about it. Yeah, and you know, we’ve gotten a little fights on the way to a performance of mine or something and I’m like, I don’t like to go into a performance with bad energy or feeling. You know, any kind of stiffness or stress or whatever, you want to go in feeling good.

And so like, I know that mentality of it. So even if I had something to say to you, I would phrase it in a delicate way, or I would time because I know you, if I stress on time, if I like, bring that stressful energy, it will stress you out. And that will affect how fast you get ready, that will affect the energy in the car on the way to the event, and subsequently affect the event itself. And so even starting from like, hey, it’s kind of getting close to that time. Let’s go, you know, let’s get your hair together. And let’s get dressed. And you know, let’s go.

Nicole:

That is very much how you talk to me on tour. So let’s just be honest, so what is it like, I think I know the answer to this, you know how I am when I’m getting ready. Once I’ve kind of gotten into getting ready mode.

Alex:
Oh yeah, don’t talk to her.

Nicole:
At all. Because if you talk to me or ask me questions, or whatever, we’re slowing down the whole process. Let me just do what I got to do so you can get out the door so that I can be close to that time. Right? So what’s interesting to me is we in the grand scheme, like having come out of a 12 year marriage, you don’t I mean, like and feeling like just gonna listen, we just gonna say it. Having come out of a 12 year marriage and feeling like I don’t know if I was ever married to someone who knew me at all. It definitely doesn’t know the me that is sitting here today, like has no clue who I am. It’s so interesting being with someone who I feel really knows how to read me, knows how to understand me, knows how to see me. And as a gift as a privilege as an honor adapts to me because you don’t have to. And in certain circumstances, how do you think you’ve got like that?

Alex:

Well, it was interesting. I remember, I think I brought it up to you before, but I’ll say it here. I think it was the Houston event. Might have been Houston. Anyway, I met somebody at one of the events. And you know, and you had said something during that event where you said you need to surround yourself with people who will give, because if you’re a giver, you’re just gonna give, give, give until you have nothing left. Right? And so it was I kind of have that in mind a lot that like, especially on that tour, where you are giving so much to the people around you, your team, like all the people who attended the events, like all the people who are running the venues, like, you know, you’re giving all this energy, and it’s no sleep, and it’s all this and it’s like no food, you know, it’s just hustle. 

And so you give so much to everybody around you, I was trying to give some back to you, you know, to give what I could so whether it be make sure that you ate, like baby we have to go to sleep, or we are screwed. You know, now, it’s a couple hours here, a few hours on the plane to get it in where we can, I’ll grab you a coffee, like, you know, just making sure you sleep, make sure you eat, make sure you run relatively on time, and that you’re comfortable because it is your job in that instance, to do the job, you’re not supposed to have to worry about all this stuff. So I was happy to stand in those gaps for you where I could, you know, and again, you’ve never seen me on tour or anything. So in that mode, I’m like, I know, kind of I have a way better idea like of what needs to get done.

Nicole:
And I’ve always said you’re just very empathetic, like I when I you all you know, you’ll get to know Alex a little more as I as we have additional chats in this next season. And I bring him very specifically to have certain conversations. But Alex is extremely empathetic when I say he truly can see and understand and put himself into other people’s shoes. And I’m so grateful for that, because it allows him to give me very specific grace, not just general grace, you know, it’s understood. I feel very seen and very understood in this partnership. So, you know, with respect to time, you know, I do want to talk about how powerful that was, for me, I’ve never worked with a partner before and a lot of that is because of the fear of Will they understand the safety, will they understand the work ethic, will they understand the need to show up and sometimes shut up, you know, and just get the job done? Will they understand the weight of it, you know, will they match my work ethic, particularly when the outcome is going to feed all parties and you know, in typical employee/employer relationships, that’s an odd thing to expect.

And I think a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with that because you want your team to feel like they are as invested as you are and if there’s anyone listening just let you know that’s not a realistic expectation at all. But in working with a best friend or a spouse or a partner, at minimum you deserve to be seen, you know especially when you’re doing the hard things, you know, and it is knowing when to step back, and when to prioritize yourself and that you can always center yourself. And I’d like to think that I’ve been in your work worlds before, you know, I always try to help you get out the door. And I mean, I don’t know, you could speak to it.

Alex:
Oh, yeah, you’ll like, get me iced coffee, or fill my water bottle or pack me a little snack bag. Because you know, I’m about to make like an hour and a half, two hour drive or something.

Nicole:
And you’ll fight me all along the way.

Alex:
I’ll fight you, or I’ll come home, and then you’ll have some food ready, this amazing dish, put together. It’s like, it’s nice, because like, well, like, we’re both performers. You know, and we both know that after this many hours, after this kind of experience, you are going to be feeling this way.

Nicole:

It’s about making it so that they don’t have to think, wherever you can, because you’ve got no brain cells left.

Alex:
Oh, yeah, just nothing, just brain is mush. So it’s nice to not have to think and there’s food there or like, or there’s, you know, you fill my water or, like, filled it with ice or like just all these little things, but they’re really helpful. And they make a difference throughout the night. You know, like, if, you know, if I go to an event, I didn’t fill my water bottle, or at least put ice in it, you know, I’ll be drinking a bare minimum, you know, room temp water, which isn’t the worst, but I love my cold water.

Nicole:
It’s knowing what your partner needs.

Alex:

And it makes a big difference for me on the gigs. When I’m dancing and moving and I’m hot, I want some cold, frickin water, you know, and then it just does the trick. And then it gets me revitalized and I can do my job better.

Nicole:

And it’s so interesting, because it’s showing up in different ways. So for you, that may seem like a big thing for me, I’m like, it’s such a tiny give. And, you know, for you, you’re like, it doesn’t take much for me to put myself kind of behind and be like, hey, you know, Nicole, I may want to scream this at you but maybe it’s time to go. You know, like, for me that’s so big, because it helps me to show up.

Alex:
And then if it is really getting down to the wire, and I know I’m like, Okay, I need to let you know that I’m serious. I’m like, Hey, for real, yeah, got to go. That’s, you know, he’s a little bit more firm voice with you, but it’s still so kind, it’s not yelling, it’s not trying to stress you out, because I don’t wanna stress you out. But I do want to convey the message.

Nicole:

And so talking about conveying messages, y’all, I’m hoping that you catch the message that we’re sharing here, which is, I used to be of the school of you can’t work with a partner, that just because in my experiences, it wasn’t good. You know, it did not work out. Work ethics wouldn’t match, you know, objectives don’t match, understanding around roles wouldn’t match. And I mean, these are all things that both of us said can be true. But I’m hoping that you extract from this conversation from our book tour experience, for those of you who got to see us in person, you saw the dynamic of it all. So many people are like, boy, do we get you two now that we’ve seen you together.

Alex:

Oh, yeah, people would be like, oh, you’re exactly the same.

Nicole:

Which we’re not, but we are but we’re not.

Alex:
We are but we’re not. We’re not. It’s like, yes, we are those people. You know, it’s not like a thing that’s put on for the internet. It’s not like an act like we are silly, we are fun, like we are just who we are. But there’s also you know, and you can phrase it however you want. But I’ve always said that people are multi-dimensional.

Nicole:
Yeah.

Alex:
And we will have many selves, you’re not just this one thing. Yes, you can be happy and bubbly and whatever. But when it comes to, like, use that, like for business, I mean, you’re very matter of fact, there’s no excuses to not get the work done. Get it done because literally it’s like the attitude of the industry. Like nobody cares about your problems. That’s right, point blank, literally nobody cares, just get the thing done. And that’s just the reality of how it goes.

Nicole:
And you helped me get it done and I’m grateful for that. And and I really hope that anyone who is wondering I’ve evolved and my thoughts around partnership in work and learning more about you know, it’s not just what they do, or or the structure of the business, but it’s also who the person is and I’m just very thankful to you and I think that this has been a useful conversation. I also think that you know, when the time is right we’ll dive more into the breakdown of what that tour was actually like. But I know that for the conversation we’re having here, this was a huge checkmark I think in my internal elevation of our relationship you know, which is wild because we are years into this thing and into this partnership you know, and yet here I am still finding myself, it sounds cheesy to say falling more in love with you but falling deeper in respect and trust and safety with you. And I thought I felt safe before but this was another mark of that.

Alex:

Right because I mean the operating in each other’s backs rises you know it’s like I’ve come in here this is your workspace and this was a big stepping stone but on something like the book tour, meeting all the publishers…

Nicole:
And my people!

Alex:
And your people because the Internet Aunties and I met everybody everywhere and we’re in a work capacity but also you know, interacting with people and whatever and I am you know if anyone is you You know, we should, everyone should be aware that like, whoever you bring along with you to your workplace, yes, and, or to your event or to your house or whatever, they are an extension of you, and they are representative of you. And so the way that I operate on that tour is I am a representative of a view. And so I have to act, you know…

Nicole:

And I love you for that. I’m so grateful for that understanding, and I hope I do and provide that for you as well. And, and I just hope that for those of you who are listening, and maybe reflecting on your current partnerships, you know, and understanding that, however you work together as a reflection of so many other aspects of your life, you know, I really hope that you were able to pull and extract elements, at least, about what works and what doesn’t, you know, and I know, this sounds very, like, you know, hunky dory, you know, super sweet, you know, but I told you about some of our friction moments. And, again, we’ll be back to talk more in the future about some of the bigger things that did occur, because life kept happening while we were on that tour.

So we had some big moments that happened there, in relation to my divorce, in relation to parenting, you know, with my older girls, you know, that we had to handle and boy, did you keep me covered. So there’s so much more coming in this next season that I’m excited about. But thank you so much for one for just being here because I love you. And I think you’re amazing. And I’m just I can’t even believe I know you like I’m so grateful. God is so good. But also for always sharing so openly. I worry about what you’re gonna say sometimes. But not so much here, you kept it real here. And I appreciate that.

Alex:
Of course, the only way to be.

Nicole:
And the aunties love you, officially in person.

Alex:
I love them, too, they’re super nice.

Nicole:
That’s right. All right, y’all, please, please, please, whatever you do, make sure that you are leaving comments and reviews that you are subscribing that you have this under instantly download, you know, there’s like a button you can push at the top of the podcast because next week’s chat is major. It is major because it is going to set the tone of where we are going in the future because we’ve got some big things to do and some big work to do. And this is all based on our conversations on this tour. And some of the learnings, it’s about to get even realer than ever before.

So thank you so much for spending the time here. Just know that you deserve your fresh starts and even more you’re going to be called to live boldly.

 
In this episode, Alex and I chat about:
  • What are individual pre-consumptions were about working together,
  • Why we decided to go for it on the Nothing Is Missing Book Tour,
  • The honest truth of how it went,
  • The personal issues that pop up while on tour, and
  • If our minds have changed about working with a partner or spouse

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
  • Grab my New York Times Bestselling memoir, Nothing is Missing, HERE!
  • Send me a DM on Instagram and Facebook!
  • Book a 20 min call to see if working together is the right next step for you!
  • Don’t miss our last episode about dating and divorce with Caroline Stanbury – listen here!
  • I love reading your reviews of the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

If you’re looking for the strategies and encouragement to pursue a life of purpose, this is the podcast for you! Week after week Nicole Walters will have you laughing hysterically while frantically taking notes as she shares her own personal stories and answers your DMs about life, business, and everything in between.

As a self-made multimillionaire and founder of the digital education firm, Inherit Learning Company, Nicole Walters is the “tell-it-like-it-is” best friend that you can’t wait to hang out with next.

When Nicole shows up, she shows OUT, so tune in each week for a laugh, a best friend chat, plus the strategies and encouragement you need to confidently live a life of purpose.

Follow Nicole on IG @NicoleWalters and visit inheritlearningcompany.com today and click the button to join our betterment community. Your membership gives you access to a world of people and tools focused on helping you build the life you want.