Babies, Bios & Business!
Friend, this one isn’t just regular story time. This episode is actually driven by you. Yes! You sent me your questions and I’m answering them today on the show.
We’re covering questions on momming, if I want more babies, questions about the girls and their bio parents, questions about my marriage, the business, and more. We’re about to take our friendship to a whole new level because I’m going to dive deep and answer your biggest questions right now.
Thank you for showing up here each week! Chatting with you is one of my favorite things to do. Let me know that you listened to this episode over on Instagram, Twitter, or shoot me an email! And if you haven’t joined the 1K1Day Academy, this is your last week to do so! I’m so excited that so many of you have joined. It is going to be the best.
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Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.
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Hey friend. So I am beyond excited for our chat this week. And that is twofold. One because I always love sitting down and having this time with you wherever you are, in a Target, washing dishes, handling the kids, going on a walk, you name it. This is my favorite time every single week. But the other reason is because so many of you have decided to jump into 1K1Day Academy. So it’s almost like our internet chat friendship just got legit. So I’m beyond excited because now I am actually mentoring and working with so many of you personally. So if you haven’t jumped in yet, this week we still have some time, this is actually your final chance. After this week, we will absolutely close the doors and you won’t have a chance to get in. So if you are interested in working with me to take whatever it is that God has put on your heart, that you’re thinking you want to build out and bring to the world, well I would love to have you!
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And if you’re listening to this, there’s still time, head over to 1K1Day.com. That’s one like the number K one day .com and sign up! Now, now friend, this one isn’t just a regular story time. This is actually driven by you. Do you remember how in our last chat, I said that I wanted this to be a two way street that I don’t just want to be talking your ear off and being that girlfriend who’s gabbing, gabbing, gabbing. I want to hear from you! And that’s exactly what happened. You reached out to me via Twitter. You’re reached out to me via Instagram. You sent me emails and you sent me your biggest questions ever. And I am so here for it. I got questions that ran the full range. Questions about momming, questions about the girls, questions about my marriage, the business, you name it.
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And after doing last week’s where I talked about some of the most revealing and personal stuff ever, this stuff feels like a cakewalk! Haha. So we’re about to take our friendship to a whole new level. I’m going to dive deep and answer your biggest questions right now. Now the first question I got is all about my marriage and this made me chuckle a little bit because it just goes to show that sometimes what you see on social doesn’t really match up with real life. And you know, I’m all about keeping it real. So this question came in and it was, does the hubbin ever say no? Well, I’m guessing that it may seem like I have a pretty easygoing run along with the plan, have a good time husband and you know what? That’s true. I am so blessed because I am so stubborn.
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I am a whole lot and a whole headache. God bless the man that deals with the crazy of Nicole Walters every single day. Am I right? But he also definitely says no. The hubbin and I actually have a system that we’ve used to give me room to play, but also keep me rained in. The hubbin does actually use something in our marriage that we call veto. And it works. Something like this. I come to him with a crazy plan and nine times out of 10 he’s like, Hey, if the numbers add up and you can make it work, go for it. I got your back. And I love him for it. But there is the one time out of 10 where the hubbin will say categorically, it’s a no. And whenever he throws out the veto, I might push back just a little bit. But for the most part, I let it ride.
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And the reason I do is because he does give me a lot of room to play. I mean, that’s the nature of our marriage. We always joke that we’re both in the C-suite, right. We’re both chief executives of our life. So if I’m the CEO, he’s the CFO, the COO, he’s running all the other pieces. So because we do it together, my job is to fork money in that bank account, his job, figure out where it goes. So yeah, that’s our partnership. He says, no, not often, but when he does, I know he means it, that he has our family’s interest at heart. And that he probably is seeing a perspective that I didn’t see. And I’m grateful to God that I have a partner that helps me see it all. The next question I got was what do I do on days when I just simply don’t want to get out of bed?
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Do I even have those days? That’s a great question. And yeah, it’s true. I do have those days. I am not a constant source of energy, motivation and go out and get it. Now I wish I was, but I am human. If you listen to our chats going all the way back to last year, you know, for a fact that I have, my days I’ve been hit with some craziness and on those days, yeah, I don’t want to get out of bed. So here’s what I do. I stay in bed. If I don’t have some place to be, if I don’t have a responsibility to answer to, I grant myself the grace of saying, you know what? Listen to your body, give yourself a rest. Sometimes you just need a break. We talk about this all the time here. I’m always sitting across from you digitally and saying friend, grant yourself some grace, take permission.
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So yeah, even Nicole Walters, me, your internet bestie, sometimes doesn’t want to get out of bed. And the next question I had here, which I think is a really good one. And this is probably one of the number one questions I get, or one of the number one questions that I know people want to ask, but may not be bold enough to do it, but I’m going to answer it here right now. This question came in, “Nicole, just being a little bit nosy here. Have you ever wanted to be pregnant? Can you even get pregnant? And have you ever thought about actually birthing your own baby?” So I know that that is a question that probably runs across people’s minds. And I just want to let you know that typically this is not the type of thing to just ask anyone, but we do have something special here, right?
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I ask you whenever we have these chats to dive deep and branch out and embrace a different way of thinking, to sit there and internalize the lessons that I’m sharing with you from my own life and listen to the opportunity that they may bring. So if I’m going to challenge you to try something new, then I’m going to be candid with you also. I will say I don’t have any fertility issues. I’m actually really grateful that if indeed I wanted to have a child, God has blessed me with the full capability to do so. As a matter of fact, twins run in my family. So I don’t know if that’s a blessing or not, but if I wanted to get pregnant, yes, I scientifically, physiologically, if God deems it appropriate, I can. Now the next question though, have I ever wanted to have a baby?
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Well, you guys have heard me talk about it before mamas are superheroes. I am absolutely blown away by the sacrifice, the ultimate expression of love and the deep consideration of carrying and birthing a child. It is a remarkable and beyond generous deed. It’s amazing. And to me that we even live in a society where people would question the strength of a woman when she’s able to create life more than anything, they shouldn’t spell my name wrong on my coffee cup at Starbucks if I can create and cook a whole baby. Are you kidding me? You better get that name, right? So, yeah, I, I think it’s an amazing thing that women are able to carry. And I think it’s just one of the many remarkable things that is just an example of the power that we hold in our capability in this world and how God has truly blessed us.
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But all that being said, I don’t know if I was ever meant to cook and marinate my own. Now, does that mean that I wasn’t meant to be a mother? I actually believe the two things can co-exist. So I’ve known since I was in 10th grade that I loved children, love them. And I also know, I knew that I always wanted to be in a position to mentor, support, rear, grow and be around to influence and shape the life of our future. Now that whole business about dealing with all the challenges of carrying a child. I mean, listen, I am a go getter, a little bit selfish when it comes to it. I’ve got a million businesses and a million things I want to do. I think constantly about how I can serve others. And I want to use my big wide arms to love the people that are here.
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So do I believe that I’m cut out for motherhood? You better believe it. It’s one of the greatest gifts and blessings that God has ever brought into my world. Now, did I plan to have kids? Yeah, that actually was on the agenda, a hundred percent. I thought I’d probably have two, but am I glad that I got to skip the whole marinating and cooking myself thing? You better believe it! God really blessed me by giving me the freedom, flexibility, and ability to get out there and build a business and not have to dedicate my time to the valuable act of caring a child. He gave me three babies already made and it worked out just right for me. Now, all that to be said, I don’t know what the future holds. I will say that I do feel that clock ticking. So I don’t want to close the door on whether or not I may end up joining the birth mommy club.
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But what I will say is my heart is fulfilled. I love my girls. And I don’t know if I could make any that are even any better than the ones that I’ve been blessed with. So I hope that answers your question if it’s always been in the back of your mind. Now, the next question I have is a really, really good one. How has the dynamic of the rise of your business and increased visibility and your husband’s support and position in that situation affected your marriage? Okay. No, this is a good one. We kind of spoke about this a couple of weeks ago, right? In our previous chat where I was talking about how in the pandemic, we’re really learning a lot about ourselves, both with boundaries, how we work best and how we live best together. But we’ve been married for 11 years and he’s been married to the same woman.
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I’ve grown over the time and I’ve definitely changed and developed and hopefully become a
better wife and person. But the truth is, yeah, things have shifted and I’m blessed because we’re still both here and we’re still committed. So how does it work? Well, I’m fortunate to be married to someone who isn’t really craving the spotlight. He enjoys watching me shine. That is the relationship we have. Frankly, the hubbin thinks I’m entertaining. He likes chuckling and even more, he loves seeing my impact on others. I can see the sparkle in his blue eyes whenever he sees somebody’s life change, whether it’s while I’m on stage or in one of my courses, like 1K1Day Academy, or if somebody is just laughing at something crazy I’m doing. My husband loves me and he loves seeing me win. And I’m really blessed because the more I keep winning, the more he keeps loving.
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So it hasn’t been easy because he’s definitely thrown out that veto card here and there because he wants to make sure that we’re always sticking with our values and keeping family first, but no matter what my husband seems to be in for the win. And I’m glad I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side. Here’s a good one. So this question came in about our relationship with the girls’ birth parents. Now this question, I often circle around a bit, but I know it’s something that people tend to want to know. They want to know. Do we still have a relationship? Are they around? Was it positive? Are they okay? Are they healthy? Those are all great questions. And I’ll answer them now. So in a short answer, yes, to all of that, we have a great relationship with what we call the kids’ bios and we love, cherish, and honor our kids’ bio mom.
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We recognize, especially considering the love that we have for our kids, that it wasn’t easy for her to make the decision she did. It was a deed that was wrapped in both sacrifice and the deepest of love and consideration for her three sweet babies’ future. And for that reason, we’ve always kept her in our life. And we couldn’t imagine not having her be part of our life. Now, the relationship obviously has changed over the years with her involvement, really being dictated by what was best for her in the season she is in. Life is complicated and yes, she does face some challenges. So we respect that. We support her and we always make sure that we keep the door open for a warm, welcoming, and healthy relationship with her three babies. Furthermore, it’s a positive thing. While our older two girls are old enough to develop and decide the relationship that they want to have with their bio, our youngest one has always had a fairly positive one.
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She came to us when she was so young, having just turned three, that most of her memories of her mom are really pretty positive. And we want to keep it that way. There’s no reason to cause hurt or trauma where it doesn’t mean to be. So, yeah, we have a great relationship with her. We speak to her on a very regular basis and we consider her family. And we’re also really thankful that she’s given us family of our own. Here’s a question that came in, that’s a pretty deep one and I’m really excited to answer it. Do you fear losing yourself as you become more successful? With my new TV show, She’s The Boss, premiering this Thursday, February 25th at 10:30 PM on USA network, which is also available on sling and YouTube TV and Hulu. You better believe this is something I’m thinking about.
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Friend between the two of us, I am freaking out. Okay. Freaking out, partly because this is how we’ve always done it. Right? We’re being normal. We’re regular people. And I got to say that for me, the weirdest part about all of this is in my head I’m a regular person who shops at regular target. Who wears stretchy pants because she just hasn’t worked her way back up into wearing anything with restriction because Hey, pandemic. I mean really, really regular, you know, this, this is actually why we have a thing. We’re hot messes. That’s what this is, where we’re on the hot mess express and it’s all aboard. That’s how we do our thing. Right? So yeah, I think the thing that freaks me out the most, I don’t even want to call it more success but more visibility, is just the standards and expectations that people tend to put on those with visibility.
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Now I’m not worried so much about the responsibility to be someone who holds up to their values or the criticism that comes along with it. Because the only person I seek to impress is my God and my family. These are the people that I love. And these are the people whose perspective matters to me the most. Now I do want to honor our friendship. So anyone who’s been my friend along before this TV show thing even happened, whether it’s working with me on 1K1Day Academy as one of my students or hanging out with me here on the podcast chat. I want to make sure that I’m a good example for you so that when you’re out there telling people about how much you love Nicole or your internet bestie, that you follow on Instagram, that I make you look good. So that matters to me very much.
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So I think the thing I’m most nervous about is less the exposure and criticism that most people worry about, I think I’m most worried about people just treating me weird. You know what? I mean, like, I don’t want it to be weird. Like if we meet, I just worry that, you know, people are going to feel like they can’t just talk to me maybe, or that they have to treat me fancy because I’m not, you know, I’m, I don’t need like fancy stuff, like fancy sandwiches. And which is because obviously this is how awkward I am that I think fancy and sandwiches. Like I can, that’s the first thing that comes. Do you see, do you see, do you see who I am? That’s what I mean. I just, I just really hope that the same regular girl energy who is full of flaws, imperfect, totally aware of her hot messiness is the energy that people will be able to meet me with.
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And that we’ll be able to maintain the normalness of our friendship long after wherever it is that God puts me. So yeah, I do worry a little bit about losing myself, but less about losing myself within and within my family, within God’s eyes because those things are fixed. And I only aim to see myself as, as God sees me, but I do worry about losing myself in other people’s eyes that they start seeing me as something that I’m not putting me on a pedestal that only gives me further to fall from, or even worse that they start expecting me to wear makeup and real pants. Y’all I can never live up to that standard. So I’m just glad that we know each other now. So we have a baseline for whatever else the world brings. So it should be an interesting journey. And I’m excited because I know so many of you guys are thrilled to watch the show and see what happens next.
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So thank you for tuning in, thank you for being on the journey with me and let’s see what happens. And I’m going to end on this one because I think this is a pretty good positive note for us to close out with. And I want to let you get back to your life in your day. And I always try to keep these chats short and sweet, just little check-ins, but I appreciate that you always make the time to come back and hang out with me every single week. You’re just the absolute best. And I just cherish this relationship. Now this question is a good one because I can always answer it along the way, Nicole, what’s something that you know now that you wish you would have known back then? Now you’ve probably heard the phrase hindsight is 2020, right? When you can see the outcome, it’s a lot easier to say that you wish you’d done something different.
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So there are two things that if anyone were to meet me, that I’d be able to say, man, I really, really wish that I had listened to them. Which, this one is a cheesy answer. So I know not everyone who listens to this podcast is a Christian. And I just want to say just first and foremost, shout out to the non-Christians who come here every single week and listen to me wax poetic and go on and on about how God is so shiny. I know that for some of y’all, the reason you’re not Christians is because he had church hurt or you were raised differently and things like that. And I just want to say, I love your tolerant listening showupness. You are the best. And I love that about our relationship. You hold space for me and I hold space for you.
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So thanks for that. And then for my Christians, you know, you’re used to this and you also know that I’m also a mess. So I appreciate you. Now, the first answer is this: it’s the cheesy one. I wish I had started having a relationship with God a long time ago, a long time ago. And I’ll put this into context for my non-Christians so that you’re not like I got to get through this part, right? Because the context still applies. So what I mean by that is for me having a relationship with God, having a relationship and belief in Jesus as my belief system has allowed me to do something that in the Bible is called lean, not on my own understanding, and if you’re not a Bible person, basically it says even when you’ve got all the chips laid out, even when you think everything’s figured out, stuff’s probably going to go wrong.
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And it really helps to know that someone can fill the gaps for you and my faith in the Lord, my faith in God, right? It fills the gaps. I mean, He is all the things to me, but you better believe that I know I’m going to come up short. And I wish that in the many years that I tried to go at things or wonder why things weren’t working out or trying to figure out if I could cover everything, losing sleep over anxiety and worry. And just really wondering if I was enough that I knew that I was complete in him and that I knew that I could put it in front of him and it would be handled. And sometimes that, if I could just say, you know what, I’ve done everything I can and I need to just sleep. I just need to take this worry off my heart.
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You know what? I’m giving it up to God. He can figure it out. He’s capable. And I wish I had, and often remembered on a regular basis. That level of understanding it doesn’t take a ton of faith to be able to say, I’m shrugging my shoulders and I’m handing it over to somebody I think is better. And that was something that I know now that I can’t say I practice with perfection, but I do know it to be true now based on the experiences and lived life that I’ve had, that it’s something that works for me. So that’s one thing. The other thing that I wish I knew that I think applies no matter what your faith is, and no matter where you are in life, whether you’re a mom, a business owner, or just a regular person trying to make it every single day is that it’ll be okay.
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That the, a level of worry and fear and hesitation that we carry into experiences every single day, whether it’s parenting or deciding to launch that business or figuring out if we can enter a new relationship or wondering if we should take that job or apply to that school or take on that new thing or ask for that promotion, you name it. We bring a lot of fear into things as if it won’t turn out okay, without giving ourselves credit for all the things that we’ve already survived. If you look back in your past, it tells a really impactful and honest truth that you can do it, that you are capable, that you have all the tools inside of you already, that are going to help you be successful in the future. When you decide to jump into something new and take something on it’s exactly what I always preach to my students in 1K1Day Academy, I’m letting them know, Hey, I recognize that you were putting a lot of trust and faith in yourself and in me.
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And I don’t take that lightly, but I also remind them that they’ve done a lot of work, all ready. They’re not coming into the world and into experiences and interfacing new problems empty-handed and that was the thing that I had to learn that anytime I’m meeting a new problem or a new opportunity in front of me, it’s not like a meeting in empty handed. I’m bringing everything I learned thus far. I am more qualified. You are too, with each new problem that arrives that I was with the last one, because I at least in bringing the lessons from what I did to conquer the past. And that’s what I want to leave you with friend. I hope that in this open, candid chat about what you wanted to know, that you learned that it’s possible to be successful, have a platform, have visibility and all these things to not have all the answers, but we have these chats every single week where we’re sharing what we’ve learned, what we know and hoping to do it better tomorrow. I can’t wait for our next one. This was a blast. If you have any other questions, send them my way. This was fun. I think I’ll put another one on the books. Have a great day friend.
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Thanks so much for listening and of course I would love to work with you. I believe that a side hustle is something that everyone needs. A little extra cash can change your life. And it is my joy to work with everyday entrepreneurs in my signature program, 1K1Day Academy. You can start now by heading over to 1K1Day.com and joining the community. I can’t wait to work with you. Let’s get started.
In this episode, I cover:
- Questions on momming and if I want to birth any babies,
- If we have a relationship with my girls’ bio parents,
- How the Hubbin and I have adapted as my business has grown,
- If I’m worried about losing myself with the new show, and
- What the veto strategy is
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- Head over 1K1Day.com for your last chance to join my signature program, 1K1Day Academy!
- Did you miss the last episode on the love/hate of gaining weight? Listen to it here!
- Write a review for the show on Apple here!
More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:
The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!
Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.
Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!
Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!