Nicole:

Hey, friends, today’s chat is going to change your life. Now you already know I do not bring people on here. I don’t like to introduce them to you unless I know for a fact that they are one, helpful, two, generous with tons of integrity and three, honestly a really good friend of mine that I know through and through and when I tell you I’ve got just a Few women that are in my corner. But I’ve known for years and years and years that I have that in my life, my babies, the ins and outs, and today’s chat is actually with one of them. So the reason why I want you guys to meet Jadah is because she is well known in the industry as being a life changing, impactful person. And you hear that a lot about people, you hear that they have the ability to change your life or your business, like everyone’s sort of selling that online. But I can tell you through experience, you know, personally that she’s changed my life. And I want to let you know about the tools that you can use to have her help change yours. So I’m so excited to say that our chat today is not just me and you girl, it’s with my best girlfriend, Jadah Sellner. Jadah, thanks for being here.

Jadah:

I’m so happy to be here Nicole.

Nicole:

Of course, of course. So keeping it all the way real. Everyone kind of already knows you if they follow me on Instagram, because we have. We’re part of our squad, our group of four you know, girlfriend squad, you know, that travels the world together, support each other, all those good things. So let’s just take people back to moving forward. And I’ll let you tell the story of how we met because it’s actually different for us versus the rest of the squad.

Jadah:

Yes. So the original, it was a trio squad.

Nicole:

Right. It was never a trio, I invited you. You were part of it. Like you didn’t actually have a choice. Really? We like the squad is the four of us. But just Jadah wasn’’t there on the day that we initiated the process.

Jadah:

Yes. On the Big Island. So our first gathering was actually in Sausalito. Yes, California. Yes.

Nicole:

Which is interesting, because that was also a very big pivotal moment, a pivotal moment where you also showed up big for me, you know, which y’all we can talk about that. I’ll keep it all the way real, you know, but we’ll take it back to me for the first time was our squad met in Kona. And that was where we like signed our friendship contract. And y’all I have the rest of the squad on here because you need to hear what this is like. But you can keep up with our squad and pics on Instagram. They’re all there. It’s good, good stuff. But um, you know, Jen Kim, and Nikki Brown. Like we all met in Hawaii. And we were like, hey, you know, do you want to do life together? That’s the short story of it. Do you want to do life together? It’s too hard to do by ourselves. We work in you know, this wonky industry. We just want to help people. Can we actually be real and support each other through and through? Yeah, we all said yes. And we said but we need Jadah. Jadah, you will love her, Nicole. It’ll be fine. All that and then I met you in Sausalito.

Jadah:

Yes, yes. And I think we connected because we have our ancestry in Ghana. Yes, yes. And I think it’s just a really beautiful thing that we have built this friendship from a very intentional place. Because oftentimes, we’re waiting right for just something to organically happen. But our squad is intentional. It is effort.

Nicole:

Yes, it’s work.

Jadah:

It is time. It’s money, where we have to step away from our responsibilities. We’re all running our own businesses. Yes, we all have babies at different ages, marriages, stages, marriages, transitions, for babies, all the things. And there are many times when we will try to opt out.

Nicole:

Listen, okay, so first and foremost, this is the problem of having your friends in the room for a chat. It’s kind of like when you decide to bring a new boyfriend or someone close over home, and your parents are spilling all your business. I’m over here trying to have a little chat to others like, so I’m gonna this is if you guys have ever wondered what it’s like to work with Jadah, she is a straight shooter. She’s not gonna hold no punches, she will go right to the core of what you want to talk about what the issue is and make you face it full on.

So you right, it is we have to be intentional, and it is hard work. And we’ve had to say, you know, tough things, you know to each other and absorb it like that time and Sausalito you know, second time around, ya know, which I keep hinting at it while y’all just being candid. I was seeing someone who wasn’t the best fit for me. And my friends, you know, including Jadah, I have been on this journey since before the separation divorce transition, they knew it was coming. They were seeing signs of it. They were, you know, helping me with all of it. But you know, when I got back out in the world, and I started dating again, I was just it was, you know, there’s pee in the dating pool. It was not working out. And I called them, you know, and I said, Hey, I need help. I’m not okay. And they kind of and I didn’t even know what I needed. And you know, they booked a hotel and at a resort and just kind of whisked me away.

Jadah:

We did. Yeah, you did. And we dropped everything. we had things within our schedule. Yeah, moving things around. And I think that is true friendship. It’s messy. Right. But knowing when Yeah, and being able to know that this was a season to really be there for you. And also that we weren’t coddling you in this season because I think you were thinking..

Nicole:

I thought it was gonna get a little getaway like I needed to escape from the problem was what I was expecting, because just truth moment came out of my therapists office and my therapist literally looked at my fake face and said, You cannot go home after talking about sort of what I’ve gone through. You need to call your girl Friends, so from the parking lot in tears I sent into the group texts. I’m not okay. I don’t know what I need. I need help.

Jadah:

And can we say something the power of that of saying, I’m not okay.

Nicole:

I didn’t even know what was wrong, right? To be honest, I really didn’t.

Jadah:

But to have that vulnerability and trust. And that’s not easy. That comes from pouring in time, energy, showing up for each other consistently, even when it’s hard, even when our lives are full. They’re busy. All of those pieces. We needed that consistency.

Nicole:

Yes.

Jadah:

And also just time.

Nicole:

I couldn’t have done that a year into our friendship, but it was a whole lot easier to do five years. Yeah, friendship, because I knew, based on the history we’ve built in the things we’ve gone through, you know, that it didn’t matter what I showed up like, or if I even knew what I needed, that it was safe for me to say it out loud in the room to even be heard and held. Right. And so in that moment, you guys whisked me away and said, Hey, girl, we need to go, you know, we need to see you in person to see what what is going on.

Jadah:

Well, we did eat well.

Nicole:

Well, we always do. We did shop, we always do that too.

Jadah:

And then we got you really it was like a squad intensive. It was your life, your relationships. Also, how does all of these decisions that you were making impact your business? Yes, your brand, right? Because you know, Nikki Elledge Brown is always talking about like the highlight reel. Yes, right, R E E L and then there’s the highlight reel of like, R E A L, right. And there are seasons when that needs to be sacred behind the scenes, and being able to pour into your life in that season when things were hard. And it wasn’t meant to be shared publicly.

Nicole:

So good. And that was a huge part of that time was I was just struggling because I was trying to like he’ll cope and still show up. And one of the things you did so well in that time was you said, Girl, one, this person you’re dating and the way that and the way that you’re showing up is not the way, you were like, it’s I understand that things may be good for you in certain capacities. But this little thing you’re doing which y’all it was a long commute is basically she was like you put in a little too much effort.

Jadah:

I like that you said it was basically it because you know.

Nicole:

There was some other things. But that wasn’t that was the part that stood out to me where you were like, You cannot do this thing anymore. You know, it’s not reasonable. And I was like, but what if he’s the one you know, and you were like, Girl, he’s not the one he’s not the one because this plus this this this? Yeah, but this right here tells me he’s not the one and I was like, but I’m there is no the one and I just like why can’t I find somebody? Like I was just struggling? Yeah. And, and you guys literally like held me, but also gave me exactly what I needed. Yeah.

Jadah:

And I think it’s interesting, because your therapist was like, Go lean on your girlfriend.

Nicole:

She did.

Jadah:

And you did.

Nicole:

And I had them. Thank you. Yes, I had them y’all.

Jadah:

And then we ping ponged you right back and like, Oh, and here’s where you need to let your therapist in even deeper. And I talked about that right of having a support squad where it’s not just your friends who are doing business and life and work and just building something meaningful in the world. But also being able to have your mentors and your advisors and your therapist, your life coach. Your partner, your spouse, can’t be all the things, can’t be your business strategist.

Nicole:

You don’t even want it. You don’t even want it. Like think about the people that you know. So so we’re getting into the good. So let’s talk about that. Because in order for me to have what I needed, God knew I was going to get divorced. God knew what was ahead of me, right. I didn’t know, you know, no one ever does, you know. And so since I didn’t know that, I’m so grateful that God also knew, hey, let’s start this relationship with these women because you’re going to need them to get through this season, seven years later. So there was an intentionality that happened there for the beginning, like you were mentioning. So let’s talk a little bit about this. Now if y’all don’t know Jadah has written this incredible book. And I do not you know me, I do not plug things I do not love. I’m obsessed with popcorn, a hulking bag, and this book, okay.

And this book is called She Builds and it is the thing that everyone is trying to talk about now soft life and all these things that they barely understand that Jadah has been living and teaching and breathing and championing since day one, the book is available on Amazon. It’s called She Builds Jadah Sellner. Get it, read it, live it, but Jadah, we’re talking about this. We talk about the squat. Yeah, that it’s not just one person and that these people also matter because part of why your marriage may not be working as you’re trying to use them as members of your squad. Yeah, it shouldn’t be so tell us more about a real squat that helps support success.

Jadah:

Yeah, so really looking at it from a holistic perspective. I have these three buckets where we have our peers, our colleagues, right that’s where we come in your friends, but more than friends. Not just we’re just gonna go get spa days which we do!

Nicole:

We do that but that’s not all of it. It’s so easy to say surface without even realize people watch our stuff and they think, Oh, they go to fabulous places they shop and they eat, right? But it’s like no like in the OFF time when you’re not watching that real you know, we are crying. We are yelling. We are talking about the hard stuff. We’re laughing, we’re laughing so much.

Jadah:

We laugh, listen to music, dance. So business strategy, even strategy, the first time that we met in Sausalito, I was talking about this book. Yes, you went to No, this was the name of the book, I didn’t know. You know, it was just really being able to unpack my story and business strategies that I’ve shared with my clients over these years. So I think that piece is important. But it’s who are your parallel playmates, right, that you are doing, not just life, not just surface friendship, but actually deep, integrated whole living. And I think that’s where we were just tapping into making money. We’re making meaning in our lives and our relationships, we talk about body, we talk about all that.

Nicole:

We do talk about everything. It’s interesting, because I don’t know if many of us realize and you talk about this in your book, which is this is what part of what makes your book so great, because this is what you do well in our squad. So people have looked at us and said, I wish I wasn’t a squatter. I wish I had like you can at least get Jadah in your in your life, you know, because it’s what you do for us. You call out that that support system is needed in areas you never think it’s needed? Like, what are you doing? Like? What, how many times have you tell me what are you doing to physically support yourself? And I’m like, what do you mean, you’re like, Have you sat in a tub? Have you had some hot tea? Have you like there are things your body can utilize to support you in your next chapter. And literally, we don’t even think of it.

Jadah:

Right? We talked about recording the audio book, I’m like, Are you using some spray taking care of being a performer and those pieces? So you break it down.

Nicole:

So please keep telling us about the buckets.

Jadah:

Yes, yeah. So we have the peers, you know, those, that’s us, right, being able to do life, to do work all of those pieces together and really champion each other. And then we have our mentors and advisors. Because also, we can advise, yep. But we’re not all the way in the weeds of our businesses. You need people that can strategize, that can get lift underneath the hood, look at the p&l, look at all those pieces. And if you’re expecting your girlfriend’s to just do that for you, that’s not what they’re holding space for.

Nicole:

And they may not be qualified, let’s just say that. Just because you have a girlfriend who loves you dearly does not mean she should be helping you with your accounting and also, sometimes the tough stuff that needs to be said you don’t want that in that relationship.

Jadah:

Right. So and also what I think is beautiful, because we have such a smart squad. It’s like we can invest for each other to show on that mentor and advisor hat but we truly value that expertise and am I putting that hat on, then we’re going to invest from that perspective.

Nicole:

And it’s distinct. I think one thing that we do really well is like when we’re working it’s workout. You know, like, I can’t tell you how many times Jen camera said, Hey, girl, I’m gonna tell you something. This has nothing to do at work, but no, you don’t. And I’m like, you know, but it’s, it’s very clear and distinct. Because we love each other enough and understand, like, we cut them checks, we pay them full paying on time, because I want your full mentor hat.

Jadah:

Yes, you know, and that and also, when you’re in a build up or starting phase, you can have mentors from afar. So listening to a podcast, reading books, that’s a great way to get started. But if you’re wanting to deepen, and really grow and expand, if you’re in a season of growth, you need a mentor and advisor to help you in that season of expansion and really leveling up.

Nicole:

So that’s good. Before we get to the last bucket. You know, in case anyone’s already thinking this strategy, you offer mentorship because people always ask me like, Nicole, do you offer one on one? I do, but it’s very case by case and I don’t always have a limited, it’s so limited. I know, Jadah, you know still is very hard to get a hold like a hold up. But you do have specific windows and spaces where people can get the guidance that I get to benefit from over a croissant. You know what I mean? In Montreal. Where can people get some of that before we get into this final bucket.

Jadah:

Yeah. So going to JadahSellner.com. Jadah like Prada.

Nicole:

With an H.

Jadah:

Yes, that’s right.

Nicole:

Yes. J A D A H Sellner S E L L N E R.com.

Jadah:

Yes.

Nicole:

Okay. Perfect.

Jadah:

Yes. So I do offer mentorship and I love it. Like I love going, I have clients that I’ve been working for for five plus years.

Nicole:

Yes! Because I’ve also met your clients. And there is a first of all your clients like one of them that I absolutely love Mary cherry. She’s based here in LA, she has an art studio, Mary and a coffee shop. You’ve taken Mary through many chapters of evolution, and she is not just better than where she was because obviously she did the work. She showed up. She utilizes the tools, but I have seen a true friendship that naturally happens, because there’s the love and care and compassion, which you talked about in the book. You know, it’s it’s got to be from both, right?

Jadah:

So and I want to say something about that too. You know, I say there’s no unique messages, only unique messengers. And what I think is so beautiful is that we all do some form of coaching, consulting, mentorship, it’s limited. But that I can trust my clients to also be coached and consulted by you. I don’t know everything. Oh, for sure. And I love that like Mary’s able to do some consulting with you.

Nicole:

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Like I work with Mary in certain about but there’s also I will never be a Jadah you know, they mean and so it’s nice because I can go in and apply a different eye. So, you know, it’s kind of like putting the way I always think about you know, this all ties into your support squad and needing those different eyes on their life. If Mary were to put sand in front of me with an outfit on right, Jadah may be looking based on her expertise on accessories, what sort of belt or hat or whatever. I never look at accessories, literally, it’s not my ministry. It’s not something I think of. But I may be looking at things like fit and tailoring because I’m like, it doesn’t seem to fit right or this seems too big. And you know, if you knew Jen, you know, Jen is colorful and bright and loves a pattern. She may be looking at that, you know, and this is why it may seem like it’s just one outfit, right? And they all do styling, but having those different people in the room is what makes you look uniquely like you and show up your best. Yeah. And I think that’s just so impactful. I love that you talk about that in your book. What is this final bucket outside of first you said your parallel peers, your parallel playmates, right? Then you’ve got your mentors who are really giving you that strategic advice that may be around up leveling in a business or whatever specific goal capacity. What is this other bucket?

Jadah:

So this is being able to have a safe space to be seen and heard. So it’s having your life coach, therapist, someone who can hold that emotional space for you.

Nicole:

Okay, I just want to hold on that because I know right now, I’m not kidding. We’ve got mamas, we’ve got, you know, 20 Somethings, you know, who are sitting there saying to themselves… One, where am I even going to find a parallel playmate? Like, where am I going to find a friend? Yeah, who would even understand? Yes, yeah. Because that’s so hard to find, too. Yeah, I can find the mentor thing. That’s actually the easiest, let me buy the book. Let me you know, send the email, whatever, Jadah has already said, Jadah sellner.com, you can find the mentor. Right? You know, but this last category. I know right? Now, some who will feel it in the pit of their stomach that they know they need this, but it feels unattainable. Yeah, tell us how to get emotional space that we all deserve.

Jadah:

Yeah. So I think especially as women of color, the accessibility right really thinking about or that it hasn’t been normalized to have therapeutic support.

Nicole:

It hasn’t been normalized to have issues. Yeah, let alone to seek out the resources to get home or to have have some safe space to express your emotions.

Jadah:

And oftentimes, you know, if we’re talking in the context of growing a business, we have the strategy, we have the coach, and yet, we are still spinning. And we’re just like, on this same level. And we’re wondering why the breakthrough, it’s an emotional block. So if you are facing resistance, procrastination, you’re avoiding things. I talk about this in the book of the cycle of fear, forcing, exhaustion, avoidance, rigidity.

Nicole:

So Jadah, I didn’t bring you here to tell my business, I didn’t bring you here to be attacked. So can you just repeat that for everyone else? Because I refuse to believe it applies to me.

Jadah:

So yes. So we are in the cycle of fear. So we’re in this season of forcing, we’re pushing we’re exerting effort. And when we do that, then we get exhausted.

Nicole:

So in the context of let’s just use hypothetically for everyone listening, a marriage. Okay, so right.

Jadah:

Forcing, right. And really trying to make it work. Yes, this is that it’s gonna be this, it’s, this is the problem, I will fix it. That’s tiring. And so then you lead to exhaustion.

Nicole:

So you just lay out in depression, you don’t even try you stop leaders as you’re done. Like, you show up less than your best and you just kind of let things what are the boundary, right, I’m just done right and showing up less.

Jadah:

Now you’re in avoidance.

Nicole:

Yeah. So then it’s like, you know what, honestly, I don’t even care if this thing works, hide under the cover. It doesn’t matter. I’ll just hide myself in my business. I’ll just do something. Again, not talking about myself.

Jadah:

Can we say that for a minute though. Hiding in our business, how we can use overwork to disguise to not really face what the root of something.

Nicole:

Some people might struggle with it when they can deal with it. And some people might become multimillionaires, with TV shows on USA Network, depending on how they want to show up in the cycle, right? Hypothetically, hypothetically. I’m gonna hear about this later, me and Jadah are going to launch into this like, let’s talk about that cycle. Yeah. Okay. So avoidance, and then what’s that final stage?

Jadah:

Rigidity. So getting stuck and repeating this, like, I had a plan. I had a commitment. I had a commitment and

Nicole:

People know it’s been 12 years. Yes. I’ve been in this business forever. Yes. Even though I don’t like it, even though it stresses me out. Even though I quit every other day, even though I’m not trying hard enough, you know, because I’m not interested. I said I was going to do this business. So I’m going to stay in this business and then I will just keep doing the same thing over and over.

Jadah:

Yeah, because we’re trying to be in integrity with ourselves. But we’re then out of alignment with our souls.

Nicole:

Pause on that, write it down, make it a note, put it on a post it ask yourself, Am I in, in integrity with myself, but out of alignment with my soul? WHO! You can be both, right? And you’re going to have, it’s a paradox that’s going to lead to distress.

Jadah:

Right. And, and that also circles us back to the squad to see when you’re in that pattern of that cycle of fear. If you’re in that space, sometimes you can’t read the label from inside the jar, right that so if you can’t see it, but you’re just constantly repeating the loop. Okay, back to forcing, back to exhaustion, back to avoidance, back to rigidity, and you’re just in the loop. This is why we have the collective burnout. This is why we are in a cycle of fear, we’re stuck, but we don’t feel stuck because we’re moving through these different things.

Nicole:

You can build a whole million dollar business and how multimillion dollar millionaire let me not speak negativity over my life, a multimillion dollar business, you know and have a bankrupt life. You know, so you’re sitting here saying your business is great, but your life, your soul, your morals, your happiness is just at zero. Yes, it is in debt. Yeah. So what’s great about chapter four of this book is you talk about some of the places people can start right to really move out of this because I think a lot of us may even feel like especially as successful women, right? You know, go getters who absorb content like this all the time are like, I know what I need.

But again, what you what’s different about Jadah and the way it is when you work with her when you go to her events when you read her book is she is never one. And you guys know how I am. She is never one to talk conceptually and not give you practical steps to start seeing that change right away. I’m not kidding. I went to Sausalito. I was there for 24 hours, I showed up like there is a problem. I don’t even know what it is. In 24 hours from Jadah I got the problem. And I got a first step yes, that I immediately utilized, I didn’t understand all the pieces. But the first step, when I tell you it echoed in my head every single moment to the point where I couldn’t even physically get into my vehicle to engage in the behavior that would not move me forward.

Because she was it was echoing in my head, this first step that would get me out of that cycle. And it not only got me out of the cycle, it got me healed to a place where I was able to welcome in someone who didn’t serve the cycle and apply the lesson of how this doesn’t look like the cycle before. So I know this is different, right? And that was huge. So in terms of practicality, yes. Outside of your first step being y’all grabbing She Builds by Jadah Sellner on Amazon, you should already have this in your cart. Okay, you can click buy it. Now if you’re a doer, you can click your full checkout later if you got other things you want to add. Right. But She Builds Jadah Sellner. Outside of that being the first step. What is something people could do right now? Because we love value upfront. Yeah, that can get them out of the cycle.

Jadah:

Something that I say is 10 seconds of bravery. So connecting to that first step.

Nicole:

I’ve heard this before. It’s like whenever you say it, I get chills because it works. But it’s scary. Yeah, not gonna lie.

Jadah:

But you have the big picture of where you’re wanting to go or how to get out of it. But it’s too much. It’s too many steps. So it is really coming down to what is that next? Right Action? You know, gen chem talks about this, you talk about this, of being able to take that imperfect action step. And it only takes 10 seconds of bravery. And so really thinking about in the context of the support squad, are you needing more community friendship right now that you don’t want to do this alone? You don’t want to feel alone on this journey?

Or are you needing more emotional support? Because you’re facing the resistance? The procrastination the avoidance? Or are you actually like, I’m feeling whole. I’m feeling grounded in my body.

Nicole:

We don’t acknowledge that enough. Sometimes you good. Yeah. And ain’t nothing wrong. It may be the people around you or making you think but nothing’s wrong. Yeah. That’s real, too. Yes. Yeah.

Jadah:

And so if it’s like, friendship is good. Is it the mentor or the advisor? Do I need the strategy? Like I’m just stuck, you know? So really thinking about in those three buckets? Which one do you need the most support right now? And really taking that 10 seconds of bravery to make the ask. Oh, so if it’s a friend, your girl crushing on. Send the message.

Nicole:

Y’all did that to me years ago and that 10 seconds of bravery has led to a lifetime of love, you know, so yes.

Jadah:

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Nicole:

So I know that we’re talking about the support squad and and you know, getting help, but what about the messaging or receiving elsewhere? Because while we’re trying to do the good work that’s in here in She Builds, we’re also getting messaging about hustle more grind more, do more like how am I supposed to hit my buckets? You know, if if I’m being told that I need to haul them, do it myself and be a superhero?

Jadah:

Yes. Well, the big thing is hustle culture isn’t working for women. It’s also not working for anyone.

Nicole:

So it’s not that we’re broken and not capable, right?

Jadah:

But we’re getting these messages that we’re not doing enough. We’re not making enough, right? We’re that not enough. And so it’s tapping into our worthiness. And I want people to know that they are worth it, that they are lovable. And the antidote to burnout is anti-hustle.

Nicole:

That’s such an interesting concept. Because you get burnt out by doing a lot of work, right? But then you start doing work to figure out how to fix your burnout.

Jadah:

Right. And so that’s a cost. That’s an expense.

Sometimes I have felt too tired to heal myself. And you’re telling me that the answer is sometimes just to stop?

Jadah:

Yes.

Nicole:

And that there’s permission granted to do that?

Jadah:

Yes, permission to be a slow cooker.

Nicole:

Walk me through this. Because this is a concept from the book that I’ve never heard it put this way. But it makes especially to us Mama’s and as real balancers out there. It makes sense. So walk me through this cooker.

Jadah:

Right. Because we have, we have slow cookers. And we also have pressure cookers. And pressure cookers are very complicated. Yes. There’s a lot of buttons.

Nicole:

I have an Instapot that I haven’t touched. I wanted to make yogurt girl. It’s never happening, right?

Jadah:

What are we gonna do? There’s the burn notice, all these things. It’s very complicated, but you get a meal a lot quicker.

Nicole: That’s true.

Jadah:

So there’s, it’s this complication. And I’m not judging a pressure cooker.

Nicole:

Because instapot is amazing, has changed people’s lives. Yeah, so mistake, part of why I subscribed to that life was because I was like, Well, I would love to get the meal that I want and half the time. Tell me Yeah, and make it half the time, right? Yeah, I get that.

Jadah:

And the beauty of a slow cooker is there’s two options. Four hours, eight hours, walk away, let things simmer, allow things to be slow. And at the end of the day, you still have a healthy, nourishing meal.

Nicole:

I love that. So you’re basically telling me one, I’m hearing this, y’all understand my brain is firing on all cylinders now. You’re telling me that I can choose to have both appliances in my house? Because sometimes life is a pressure. Yeah, man, you know, why do you get from the out quick and fast that works? And I may have the energy or space to understand the details and the button. Yes, that is healthy. But I also am allowed to choose to slow cook my meals one if that’s also who I am. Yes, there are some people who are only slow cooker people being told they have to be a pressure cooker in order to be successful. And that ain’t even true.

Jadah:

It’s not.

Nicole:

Oh, the freedom, yeah, hearing that. So the solution to the burnout to the stress to the grind that we’re being sold is actually the anti hustle.

Jadah:

Yes. Anti hustle.

Nicole:

That is fire. And that’s in She Builds?

Jadah:

Yes.

Nicole:

I like you, understand, I read it page by page. When I tell you the you extract from books, so you can read this book four or five times. And actually, if you haven’t read it yet, you can go to she builds.com/audible And you can start listening right after this this chat. But I’m telling you right now, when I read it for the first time, I was extracting what I needed in that moment, which is why you have to read and listen to things twice.

Jadah:

You do have to reread.

Nicole:

Because in the moment I was like, I need to pour more into my emotional support because that was the moment I was absolutely I need to go back and extract more from that because that is and this is what’s so great about Jadah if y’all don’t know, it’s not just telling me what I need in the moment. You’re also telling me Hey, girl, how can we not get back here?

Jadah:

Right. And hustle is a season. It’s not a lifestyle. So we can’t sustain ourselves our businesses are relationships, constantly being in that push mode.

Nicole:

Can I tell you that is the opposite like you’re saying aunty hustle of what we are being sold success is we are being told that it is waking up at 4am for 12 years, people rarely talk about what is your what is your secret to success? Do you know that I have not like eaten a single carb for 14 years. That’s how.

Jadah:

Or I don’t watch shows. I don’t watch TV ever.

Nicole:

I never, I only consume and read books all the time. And it’s like no, you need to play and eat your carbs. You need to rest like, have joy. Yes. Eat cheese. Yeah, like listen.

Jadah:

Make the snack plate.

Nicole:

Make the snack plate. Some days these kids don’t eat fish sticks and it doesn’t mean I’m not out here on my grind. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup on there. I receive it because I wanted chocolate Y’all this right here is the magic. I’m telling you like it’s I literally I I’m not gonna lie down I don’t have your audiobook version. I only have the book and I didn’t realize how much I was missing so I’m headed to shebuilds.com/audible So I can listen to this too because I’m just gonna fast forward to the cooker part because I need to hear that. Yes, that’s the piece I need to hear.

Nicole:

Oh, y’all. I gotta tell you obviously, you got to see a sneak peek into what it is like to have our girl squad chats, but even better in She Builds you get to have a squad member of your own in your home every single day, Jadah can you tell us more about where people can find you? What’s going on with your book? Like, how can we engage with I know you’ve had some events? You know, where online can we draw into community around She Builds and the work that you do? Just tell us more about that?

Jadah:

Yeah, I think for podcast listeners, you know, if you are listening to Audible, you can go to shebuilds.com/audible and that will take you right just download it. Listen to all the things because we’re busy. You have full lives. So I think that piece is really important. And all your favorite, including indie bookstores are available at shebuilds.com We hang out on the socials. So I’m at Jadah Sellner where you can find that and for the mentorship. JadahSellner.com.

Nicole:

Yes, love it. So y’all, I have one big ask of you. I want you to use your 10 seconds of bravery today to go to Shebuilds.com/audible and grab this book. Feel free to skip to chapter four. Yes, you know, I’m giving you permission. Yes, read about this word squad and understand what we’re talking about here because if you can get the tools you need now, you’ll get through the book, you’ll apply everything else and you’ll get to live a life you love. Jadah, thank you so much for loving me well. And thank you so much for taking that love that you have and giving it to everyone. You are just so incredible to me.

Jadah:

I love you to pieces.