Season 3, Episode 62: Moms Matter Too

Season 3, Episode 62

Nicole:

Hey, y’all, I am thrilled because it’s rare that I have two people in I mean, usually our chats are just a team of two. It’s just me and you wherever you are on your couch or doing a workout or cooking dinner, but it is full on girl time. Because I have the ladies of the Moms Actually community Morgan and Blair here, you probably have listened to their podcast, you may be a part of their community. You may have seen around the internet, they’re hard to miss but they are here today to share some mom goodness to impart us with wisdom and to help us learn all of our resources so we can show up better every single day and do it with grace. So Morgan Blair, thank you so much for being here.

Morgan and Blair:

Hello! Thank you so much for having us.

Nicole:
Of course, of course. Yay. Everybody does just love it like already don’t we just feel like we’re having girl time.

Morgan and Blair:

Absolutely.

Nicole:
First things first. Your backgrounds both in business and motherhood and I do want to hear the business stuff just briefly, because really, it’s the mom stuff that we want to hear all the time. So how it led you here? Blair, kick it off. Your background.

Blair:

How it led me here? So when I was out of college, I thought I wanted to work in sports, so I worked with the Wizard,s DC. I’ve worked in all the sports. And then I realized a lot of pro athletes are very entitled. And I was like, I thought I wanted to be a publicist. And I was like, I want to spend all my time making you look good, and you don’t want to look good?

Nicole:

And walking around on eggshells and being super nice and kissing tail, all those things. So you were like, not for me.

Blair:

Not for me. So I went to a nonprofit. So for eight years, I worked at a college honor society in DC. And I went from, like, bottom of the barrel, everybody around me had masters in education. I did not have one. And I was like, I don’t know what I’m doing. And I actually met my boss at the time who became my number one mentor. She completely changed my life.

Nicole:

Amazing.

Blair:

And I started out as like, everybody was the master of that one thing. And I would say, I’m the jack of all trades, and she’s like, use that to your advantage, because if there’s anything in front of me, I’m going to figure out how to get it done.

Nicole:
You’re a hard worker!

Blair:

I’m not going to embarrass myself or anybody around me. And there’s just too many resources not to know how to do things. So I did that for eight years, and then I met my now husband, and I ended up moving to Atlanta. And so I worked at, like, an accreditation agency for a second. I worked at Morehouse school of medicine in their strategy office.

Nicole:

I love this, y’all. Are you hearing this right? So Blair’s over here like, oh, I’ve done every job. Literally. Understand that when I say jack of all trades, like, literally, I can come to your house and I will organize and decorate your living room while building the furniture myself. Then we go and cook a whole meal and watch a TV show I created. We’re going to do all..

Blair:
We are! So I did that. And then actually, while I was working at Morehouse, Morehouse school of medicine, my friend, who is a professional makeup artist, needed help as needed a manager to help him out. And so then I started a glam agency for celebrity makeup artists.

Nicole:

And hairstylists, and they need it, too.

Blair:

They do.

Nicole:

Creatives really just want to create. They do not want to manage the back end.

Blair:

And no one wants to negotiate their own deal.

Nicole:
Of course, because it’s too personal. You’re in your feels.

Blair:

And no one wants to go do someone’s makeup after you just either hiked up the price, it just becomes drama. So I did that and so I worked for myself for about two or three years doing that. And then I ended up, me and my husband, we own this music group called Maverick City Music. And so I came in as the COO of that and started formally working.

Nicole:

I don’t think you could have not done that. It is very clear that you’re the person who stands in a room, sees a problem and is like, you know what? Let me just get started.

Blair:

We’re going to figure it out.

Nicole:

This is the definition of being a mom. Every mama listening to this right now is like me all day. It’s the truth. We see something and we want to fix it. We want to work on it. And that has always been your move. So all this time, at what point did the little babies enter school?

Blair:

When did that happen? Oh, Morehouse. I got pregnant while at Morehouse School of Medicine. And I told myself before I gave birth, I need to make at least half my salary so I don’t need to go back to that job.

Nicole:

Facts, talk about the goals. Isn’t it crazy how once you have kids, you stop playing? Oh, yeah. It’s a whole different energy. And you all are going to hear this when we start talking about Morgan’s background, when Morgan’s like, wait till you find out when she became a mama and how that aligned with how she stopped playing.

Blair:

Because I was late in my, I was in my 30s when I had mine. So I did that. And then at Morehouse, I mean, at Maverick is where I learned all production. So I learned that I ended up at Maverick so I could learn how to do production for Moms Actually. Now I do Moms Actually full time.

Nicole:

Which can we just say, Blair, it looks good on you.

Blair:

Oh, thank you.

Nicole:

I can tell you’ve always meant to be an entrepreneur, and…

Blair:

I didn’t believe that about myself.

Nicole:

But it’s a truth. Many, especially mamas, we think that how could we run a business? We don’t have all the degrees, we don’t have all the training or the experience. But the truth is, we’re running our whole families and our whole lives. And if you’re a stay at home mom, you are doing finance, you are doing organization, you are doing project management, you are pitching, you are doing advertising, you are doing design. You were a chef. You are every single division of any major organization. Like, you have those skills. I love to hear it. So, Morgan, I did a little teaser. Take us back to your let’s start let’s reverse it. Let’s talk about where you were as a mommy first and how it got very real.

Morgan:

Yes. So I was actually literally going to pick it up from when you said, when you become a mom, that is when you start not playing, no game.

Nicole:

Yes, it gets so real.

Morgan:

It’s so real. So because I became a mom, I became pregnant at 19 and at 20 had my baby. And I remember I was in school and you think you’re in love with the person.

Nicole:
Yo, listening. We know nothing under 25 and even at 25, but under 25, we know. We don’t know a thing, but we think we know.

Morgan:

Yeah. And so I had already switched schools because of this. Then while you were in love, love girl. Right.

Blair:

She looked back now like.

Morgan:

Yes, but I ended up got pregnant with my daughter. And I remember going to school still, and I remember saying to myself, this is just not making sense. I want to work. I don’t want thank God, for my mom. My mom at the time was like, she actually bought a new house that we had more room for myself and my daughter and all these things. But I just was like, I need to do this for me and my child. Yes. I have my mom and I have support, but it’s something different when you have your own child.

Nicole:

Yes.

Morgan:

And so every time I was going to class and stuff and having to find a sitter, I was like, I’m wasting my time. That’s what I thought.

Nicole:
But that insight at 19 is actually not terrible because I’m raising I adopted three. So I have a 21 year old and a 24 year old, and it’s the same thing. My 21 year old is in school, my 24 year old isn’t. And I’m like, honestly, I don’t care what you do as long as you do it with excellence and as long as it’s in alignment. Because frankly, they don’t know, and hopefully they’re not listening to this, but they don’t have to do anything to like, 35 before people start looking at you like, what are you doing with your life?

Blair:

Exactly.

Nicole:

You know what I mean? But if you’re gathering info along that way, it’s fine. So what happened for you? What was that?

Morgan:

Honestly, I remember being in a parking lot and I hated the class that I was in, and it was just like it didn’t feel like it was teaching me anything that I knew I was going to use later. And I said, I’m not going to do this.

Blair:

That sounds like Morgan.

Morgan:

My mom at the time, CPA, had her own insurance, none of which requires a degree. No, exactly. And I said, you know, Mom, I’m going to get my insurance license.

Nicole:

I love that.

Morgan:

So I got my insurance license…

Nicole:
And that allowed you to stay home and earn income and be with your baby.

Morgan:

Exactly. So that’s what I did. I stayed home and then around, like, maybe right before my daughter was about to turn one, then I took that same insurance license and became a personal banker because now I had that under my belt.

Nicole:

Yes.

Morgan:

So then I just entered into the finance world, stayed in the bank industry for a couple of years, and then I said, I don’t want to do that either.

Nicole:

It’s very easy, though, to stay in the so we have very similar past, and I think that a lot of I had to work all through college because I was supporting my family. And what was interesting was when all my friends were done and graduating, they all had more debt than I did.

Morgan:

Yes.

Nicole:
I was making more money while they were all sitting on six figures in debt. You know what I mean?

Morgan:

For me, that is actually what caused me not to want to run back to school, because I was looking at my friends who did go to school who were struggling, and I was like, oh, you can’t do oh, man. I have to help you!

Nicole:

You don’t have money. You can’t get a job, struggling.

Morgan:

And even after they had graduated and everything, they were still doing struggling to do. And I’m like, I’m still climbing up the ladder because at the time and I think still that definitely rang true. Your experience matters.

Nicole:

It really does. Let’s talk about that.

Blair:

Everybody wants ten years of experience, at 20.

Nicole:

Yes. And how do you get ten years of experience by 30 if you don’t start working at 20? It’s a real setup. I hope all the mamas hear this, because you’re listening to three mamas who have done it in our own ways. Every single one of us ended up working and getting our hands dirty and also parenting and learning as parents within our household in order to get where we are. And none of that involved formal, I’m not knocking formal education. Women of color, especially black women, have the highest amount of degrees. We are the most degreed of any population within the US. So we don’t play about our education but I also am not into degree shaming because there is something to be said for the fact that the Mark Zuckerberg’s, the Bill Gates of this world, they’re all dropouts.

Blair:

Exactly.

Nicole:

And it’s because of the fact that they realize, why would I stay here and spend this money when I could be using this money to build something bigger? And I just don’t want us to buy into the fact that we can’t do that for ourselves, or we need a degree to be on the same platform as some guy. That’s a patriarchal lie. And we all don’t want to buy that.

Blair:

Most of us are getting degrees for the wrong reasons.

Nicole:

For the validation! Or the credibility!

Morgan:

Or because our parents told us to!

Nicole:
Yes, realistically, that shouldn’t be the reason. If you love the subject matter and or it’s required because Lord knows I want a dentist with a degree. Please. But other than that, if that’s not it, it’s okay. Or if you got it and you’re ready to do something different, do something different.

Blair:

They want you to pick a major, and you don’t even know.

Nicole:

Would you all know, especially since we all have grown babies. Tell me what 18 year old needs to be able to be out there signing a loan for $60,000 that you have to they don’t know what they’re doing.

Blair:

It’s a Ponzi scheme.

Nicole:

It’s a scam. If you can’t give them a car, they can’t even go out and get a house loan, but yet they’re able to do this on something on the hopes and prayers that hey’ll pay it back. Come on. Absolutely. Like, oh, my God.

Morgan:

I remember filling out those forms, and I’m like…

Blair:

I didn’t read them! You have to sign it!

Morgan:

Every single time I did it, I kept thinking like, this just seems like more money I’m going to have to pay back, and I could just be making the money and not having to pay anybody back. And so that’s what fueled that for me. I’m like, I would rather make the money, save the money, invest it where I need to.

Nicole:
And be with your baby…

Morgan:
And be with my child because I’m young, and I’m like, if I’m going to do this mom thing, I’m going to do it. I’m going to commit to it and be intentional about it.

Nicole:

Amazing at 19.

Blair:
When I ended up staying home after having my kid, I was like, I actually want to go back to work.

Nicole:

Oh, my gosh. When all my babies aren’t home, I’m like, all my babies, the minute all three of them in the house. Don’t y’all have someplace to be? What is going on right now? So no. Oh, my gosh. So you ended up committing to the mommy life, getting into the work world, and then you two found each other, which you can’t tell, but I mean, you would think these two were college roommates, in each other’s wedding.

Morgan:
In our head we are.

Nicole:

You can meet people and just tell, like, oh, okay. You all are just meant to be. It’s kind of like a relationship. Sisterhood, you find this, too. So you met each other, and I want to know the moment when you were like, we should do a podcast because this is such a thing where people are like, we tell the best stories. We’re such moms. Tell me, what was that moment like, take us there. Let me sit in the room with you.

Morgan:

Yes. Well, come on down to South Carolina. We went to a woman’s conference, and before the woman’s conference, just putting you in the perspective of where my head was, I actually had just, I was a fresh entrepreneur.

Nicole:

Oh, my gosh.

Morgan:

Really fresh.

Nicole:

What were you doing, specifically that took you to the conference?

Morgan:
I had decided that I was going to put all of my time and energy into building my own brand called the Millennial Moms Club. And so I started that. Just quick caveat. I started that after my son because I had gotten postpartum depression. And I was like, nobody should go through this.

Nicole:

And not alone.

Morgan:

Nobody should go through this alone. Because in 2018, I could look online, and there was a lot of bloggers, but they also were not relate. They weren’t anybody who I could relate with. I couldn’t find a lot of black women that were saying, I have postpartum depression.

Nicole:

Well, it’s also difficult sometimes. I don’t think we can tell if you’re a woman of color. We think it’s just living. Of course I notify myself. Of course I have to manage all these things. It just is what it is. But it’s heavier.

Blair:

I thought postpartum depression was like, you wanted to k*** your kid.

Morgan:

And I knew that wasn’t the thing. Not to mention I had already had two children before that, so this feeling was so different. And I was like, okay, I know something’s wrong. And then once I finally figured it out, and even with the doctor and the little ten questions they give you that are kind of like…

Nicole:
Well, because it’s not a specialty. It’s kind of something that’s just tucked into everything else. And if you all don’t know, but I’m planning on starting my fertility journey for the first time in carrying. I have three babies I’m looking to carry, and I’m doing a lot of reading about it because I’m also finding, as you guys, they’ve talked about this extensively. If you all aren’t listening to Mom’s Actually podcast, do it. If you’re not part of the community, join. Just because a lot of what you’re talking about is the fact that postpartum looks like more than just depression. It’s anxiety, which I had never heard of. And then postpartum grief, which is just mourning the life you used to have, which isn’t related to your babies, and it isn’t related to disliking where you are. It’s just that I recognize that I will never just up and walk out anymore or just be me.

Morgan:

You’re grieving yourself.

Nicole:
This is going to sound cheesy, but I just got a dog, and now I’m splitting my love already with my new guy. The dog likes my new guy better. So it’s just like, I’m over here. Like, wow, I’ve already lost a little bit of you.

Blair:

I love that my kids love my husband more when they love him. I’m like, Go, Daddy, to give me a bath. Good job. Go for it.

Nicole:

Specifically for those things. But if you want cuddles and hugs, I’m available. Okay, so you were going through this time, and you were like, I just need fellowship, community.

Morgan:

I need people. I pretty much was like, okay, I think this is a good time for me to go and get poured into because I also felt so depleted at the time.

Nicole:

Good for you.

Morgan:

Yeah. I was at my wits end for sure, because I had also tried to build this brand that in my mind made sense. And it’s still, we kind of talked about this earlier. It does make sense, but I think I was premature.

Nicole:

Sure.

Morgan:

And so I was like, okay, God, you need to give me a sign that I am called to really just be able to speak to women all over the world and specifically speak to mothers. Like I’m called to mothers. And so I said, you have to tell me very clearly. And I typically don’t stand ten toes down with God like that.

Nicole:

Yeah, no ultimatums.

Morgan:

Yeah, no, your will, not mine.

Nicole:

But I was like, also, like, I’m really not going to do nothing, that type of energy.

Morgan:

Yes. And so I did that and the whole theme of the conference was permission. And so you know that, right? So when you hear something like that, you’re like, oh, it’s going to be so motivating, all this stuff. There were multiple, countless moments about strictly motherhood.

Nicole:

Unbelievable. Because it really could have been any. Pursue relationship to get the marriage and you’re like, I’m not even here for that.

Morgan:

Everything about that weekend was all about motherhood. There was a sermon about motherhood, there was an altar call about…

Nicole:
And normally that doesn’t happen just because the audience isn’t all mothers. Even here in our community, we’re super blessed. Everybody is, I think, a mother in some respect, right? Like whether we’re mothering at our work or mothering our like, I have friends who have been mothers to me in certain seasons, you know what I mean? So mothering, I think, is sometimes within us in different facets and the super aunties, child-free by choice. But all that being said, it’s amazing that you were in a room where that was the topic. Because typically for conferences, unless they say it, it is not.

Morgan:

And that’s what I thought I said, okay, God, I hear you, all right, I hear you. And we were on the same row and I remember you give the girl her outfits cute or something like that, and you’re just like, oh, hey, girl. And that’s kind of what we did. And then at the very end of the conference, they’re like having this whole altar call. Her husband comes next to me and he just starts laying his hands on me and he’s like, help is on the way.

Nicole:

Oh, wow.

Morgan:

Help is on the way. Help is on the way. That’s all he kept saying after he was praying, and I was like a mess.

Blair:

He doesn’t know nothing about her.

Nicole:

He doesn’t know. You don’t know. Blair’s husband is Guyanan and Guyanas, we are very extra, okay? We are very Christian. Yes, we are very Christian. And we are very serious about the interactivity of our Christianity. It is not something inside. There is no whispered prayer. If you have ever had dinner with a Guyanan. All right, everyone, bow your head for prayer. Holy Ghost, we ask that you come into our plates today in Jesus name, I’m like, I just want to mash potatoes. But it’s like we going to pray today. So I love hearing this because it’s so true.

Morgan:

Okay. All right. I receive this! And I did. I said…

Blair:
I stopped pressing my back. <laughs>

Morgan:

Yes so literally, I think we ended up being back in the green room or something like that together. And it was funny because she’s like, you’re a mom. You must have been ten when you had your children.

Nicole:

I get that too, because I have a 24 year old. But y’all, if you can’t, you can’t see the ladies definitely head over to their Instagram. Head over. Just because they’re pleasant on the eyes, right? We should all have something beautiful to put our eyes upon. And these two ladies, they look like they could be in their 20s, hanging out like, I’m over here in LA. You all are going to have people out here running in line to the med spa. Gorgeous. And I believe it.

Morgan:

I’m very grateful for it. But yeah, so we did all of that, but it was very short, very sweet. And so once I saw her, I was like, let me follow her. Because, you know, that’s the thing now these days.

Nicole:

I’m not going to lie. So I can see what you’re about, you know what I mean? That’s the truth. I just want to see and also the phrase I’m always telling my clients is like, consistency, right? It’s not even just that I want to see your evolution. I just want to see who you are. Let me scroll back a couple months and years and see if you were posting different things and we’re allowed to evolve. But if you want to meet someone new, it’s nice to be able to go back and see we’re not enough.

Blair:

Or were you smart enough to archive your ratchet days. <laughs>

Nicole:

Archiving is for a reason. Sometimes we start brand new. We weren’t always saved. <laughs>

Morgan:

And she ended up on Monday. That Monday, I got back and I received a DM from her. And she’s like, hey, girl, I knew I liked you for a reason. I saw you do a mom’s. You have a mom platform. And she’s like, I used to have one, too. She sent me a link to her old mom platforms that she had and literally those two DMs, then she says she said, yeah. Then I’m like, yeah. I’m like telling her, I’m like, I had postpartum. No, I had PPA. No pressure. If you want to work together, let me know.

Nicole:

Because that is what Blair’s like. If you all did not pick this up before, again, she’s a doer. And you were like, this makes sense.

Blair:

Because I was at the conference praying about the same thing because I had the platform in 2020. And then people kept asking, are you going to bring it back? Are you going to bring it back? And I was like…

Nicole:

In the right context, with the right person, with the right direction and all of that.

Blair:

What really got me about her content. Not that it was that it was mom content because there’s a lot of parenting content…

Nicole:
Yeah like hacks and tricks and tools to rear the children, but it’s children focused.

Blair:

And I was like, the fact that I found someone that’s mom and woman focused. I was like, okay, God, this is it. Clearly. Because I could have been on anyone else’s page. But it was that.

Nicole:

So Mom’s Actually was born.

Morgan:

It was born that day.

Blair:

I think we had the name like the next day.

Morgan:

Yeah, she sent me her number and literally from sun up to sundown, we were texting all day long. I love sending back and forth.

Nicole:
It sounds like dating.

Blair:

We decided we were, it was like married at first sight.

Nicole:

I love to hear it. Makes me so happy. Okay, so all this being said, tell us about what you ended up birthing together. So Moms actuall

]y is this incredible podcast, which I think one of the things that is really great about this is like you said, it’s not just about the kids. There’s so many things.

Morgan:

We mention them sometimes.

Nicole:

Yeah, but it’s not just like, oh, here’s how to help them travel. Here’s what I did as a shopping trick. Or here’s how we help, here’s a piece or a tool that helps me be better for them. This is actually mom-directed, mom-driven, intrinsic. So talk to us about what the episodes are like and the type of people you have on.

Blair:

Oh, we have a lot of different people. So the episodes are about, they can be anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes, just depending on how the conversation goes. And we have influencers, we have entertainers. So the first season when we started, we weren’t going to have any guests. We were like, who would want to be on our show? Nobody knows who we are.

Nicole:

People want to chat with you all. Are you kidding me? I’m so glad to have you here. Are you kidding me? It’s good vibes. It’s girls in a room talk about real things, but it’s the way that you guys chat with people. That’s what I want you to tell us a little bit more. I mean, everyone’s going to go listen, but let’s talk a little bit about the episodes. You guys actually approach things differently. You’re not just saying, so what’s your hardest mommy hack? Like, you’re really talking to people about things they’ve gone through and how they got out of it. So what’s your favorite episode? Do you guys have the same one? Like one where you’re like, you must listen to this one to get a good context of what we’re like.

Blair:

It depends on how you want to feel. I say one of my favorite, like, if I always go back to it, is Tammy Franklin, because we were talking about sex with Kurt Franklin’s wife.

Nicole:
Which is amazing. And like, actually, I, like, have connections to the Franklin family.

Blair:

Oh, I love that.

Nicole:

And I think a lot of people, especially if you’re a Christian, they don’t think that that is a regular, like you’re still a person. Exactly. And when you’re married, you still do all the things and then and also the Franklin’s a spicy, super spicy.

Blair:

They have a whole dating TV show right now.

Nicole:

Super spicy. People don’t realize, and happily so. All that being said, what were the two takeaways from that episode? And Mama’s headphone warning, if you got the littles around because it was spicy but we want to listen. What about that episode? Really? Like, you were like, wow, this is good for me.

Blair:

That one, I just think the fact that they don’t hide their sex life from their kids yes. And I think that creates transparency in your relationship, in relationship with your kids so that they’re not scared to talk to you about those things in the future.

Nicole:
That’s so good.

Blair:

Like the fact that Tammy could sit next to her daughter’s grown, but sit next to her daughter.

Nicole:

Yeah, their kids are grown. And it’s also age appropriate.

Blair:

They have like a group chat. Like, oh, you don’t want to come in the room.

Nicole:

And again, it’s still age appropriate. I know that my current relationship with my little one, and this is also a huge part of why I talk about divorce openly and all that. And one of the things she said to me the other day when we were driving down the highway, she was like, you know what, Mommy? I can tell that you really like Alex, my new guy, because you’re all smoochie smoochie with him. And you weren’t that smoochie smoochie with dad. And like, she’s eleven. That’s her understanding of intimacy right now. But I’m also noting she’s paying attention, and that’s going to affect how she determines what is appropriate interaction down the line. And then with my 21 and 24 year old, I’m like, I am so sorry I can’t come pick you all up. I got to go be with my man. And they’re just like, gross, mom, please, not necessary. And I’m like, listen, it’s the truth. If I answer the phone, I don’t want you confused. Please do not call me. I’m busy. But it’s also, it’s good, it’s healthy, it’s positive, and they talk to you, too, and access the tone for their relationship.

Morgan:

And I think that was my takeaway is because you can tell Tammy and Kirk have done the work to make it comfortable for their children from start to finish. Now, it’s like, that made me want to just think about how intentional I am with my kids. And I have two daughters, and so I’m like daughters and sons, for sure, two daughters and one son. But with my daughters, I want them to feel like Carrington feels, because mommy-daughter relationships, they are one in a million. And you want that best friend relationship, you know what I mean?

Nicole:

But within, like, best friend. But you also know because my kids will tell me some stuff. Like, my middle one is very open about her entire life, and there are times where I’m like, mom, so you did too good. Yeah. She’s like, okay. And I’m like, I was like, Just give me I was ready for that one. But I still love that she’s wanting to ask me about that, or she’s wanting to move in with her boyfriend now. And so she’s like, I already am thinking this, but can you talk to me about what you think is right? Especially like, I think and we’re all women of faith, I think that there are just so many thoughts. And you talk about this on Moms Actually, too, because no one would have thought, oh, we’re all Christians in the room. But I’m here with Tammy Franklin talking about sex. And I think it’s so important because it’s also destigmatizing.

Blair:

100%

Nicole:
That we’re not allowed to have depression around our kids or anxiety around our kids or sex with our husband or even desire or enjoy it or want things to change. And I love that that is the openness of the podcast, too. It’s allowing us to sort of be who we are completely. So tell me more about your favorite episode.

Morgan:

I’m torn, because I want to say Erica Campbell. Really good one, because…

Nicole:
Erica has very strong opinions. She does.

Morgan:

But she is so knowledgeable. That was season one. What I’m actually really toying with is our current season, Verlonda Jackson. So it was a heavy, heavy, heavy episode.

Nicole:

Wow.

Morgan:

However, to see the way she is just carrying her grief and approaching how she is approaching it, to see how she is letting her children see her grieve, how she’s helping them through their grieving process, incredible. That, to me, it was just a sight to see. And really, it actually increased my faith. Like, I left the episode even though feeling secondary grief and empathy and all of those things, my faith was, like, stirred beyond belief.

Nicole:

Isn’t it amazing when that happens sometimes? And I just hope that all the mamas listening to this now realize that we’re all just regular people who are trying to set up and do what we think God’s calling us to do, what we have in our own hearts to do. But in that action, we also get fed. So it’s like, you build these podcasts thinking, oh, yeah, let me tell people and help them and all that, but it helps us every single time. Oh, I love that. So what is next for the Mom’s Actually podcast? Like you guys have come together. I know you’re building a community, more ways to help. I feel like there’s got to be an event. Like if you all don’t know these are, you want to be in the room with these women. You know they’re going to attract the best women. You know that you’re going to hear crazy candid stories. So I just want to know what’s coming next.

Blair:

We want to do the event, but as a business person that cares about money, we don’t want to pay. So we’re working on building the business side of everything. Yes, we created the podcast. We didn’t want to just come up with this idea and drag out like an idea until everything just kind of came together. But now we’re like, okay, we’ve started it. Now we have to be smart about how we move forward.

Nicole:

I love that you all know. I love that you guys saying like, yes, they are speaking to the right person. No, I love being strategic only because I think that a lot of especially mamas who have side hustles and this is a main hustle for you all now. But it always kind of starts as a side hustle and we hear this stuff and we feel like, well, it’s not making money, so it’s not legit or it’s not listen, when you start, there will always come a time where you’ll have to up level. Even if you started with the perfect strategy, if it’s going well, you’re going to have to change it. And so I love hearing that you still didn’t hesitate to get out there and serve and answer that call. But now that you’re learning more, it’s like, how else can we continue to serve? And you got to make money to serve. Beyonce can’t make it to Germany to do her show in her reflective garb without the ability to pay for those plane tickets.

Blair:

Moms actually will be done next year because if we’re doing everything, we’re working on the business side of everything.

Nicole:

And to let you be mamas, which is important, too. How are the kiddos doing? Give us an update. What stage are you in right now? Of oh, you all should have seen the faces. If you go on social and you see that, you got to see the face. It is summertime classic, mmmm.

Blair:

She finally got her kids out the house.

Morgan:

Because I just moved and I’m like full time. No one talks about being like full time work at home mom and stay at home mom.

Nicole:

Talk about it.

Morgan:

No one really talks about the level.

Nicole:

It’s because mom’s never closed. If I can see you, you are available to me. Yes. And that is very difficult.

Morgan:

My goodness. I mean, I love that I’m able to, you know what I mean?

Nicole:

Blessing that I can throw in a load of laundry in between calls.

Morgan:

Absolutely.

Nicole:

But it also would have been nice to scroll around and click and just watch, you know what I mean?

Blair:

Ask you to wipe their butt.

Nicole:

Like screaming from the bathroom. It’s fine. I just got to wrap up this call.

Morgan:

Thank you for this opportunity to wipe your butt. Who would have thought? You are saying like, I just need to wrap up this call really quick and then I can come wipe your.

Nicole:

Butt, literally or tell you the person on the call. So sorry. I will give you 1 second. He is literally sitting there right now. I have got to go wipe my kids butt and I will be back.

Morgan:

Yes.

Nicole:

Stuff you don’t talk about. I feel like you’re managing.

Blair:

2020 helped a little bit because everybody understood.

Nicole:
Everybody got the experience.

Morgan:

2020 allowed me to also say I’m going to stop apologizing that my kids are in the back.

Morgan:

I’m not going to apologize and I don’t want you to apologize.

Nicole:

And grace. Also, I think more people understood especially, and I’m just going to say it out loud, the high, big wig, fancy pants who had, like, the C suite places and never had to work from home, but they all had nice offices and all of a sudden they work from the office and they’re like, I can hear my kids, is it always this loud here. What do you mean? The landscapers come every Tuesday. I’m like, you had no idea all the stuff mom was doing.

Blair:
Because she does nothing.

Nicole:
Because she does nothing all day. And now you’re like, I can’t even get through one call. What do you think it’s like for me? And I’m running the side hustle.

Blair:

Exactly.

Nicole:

This is the truth of it. So you’re understanding that balance right now, but you’re doing it!

Morgan:

They are going to grandparents for about a month.

Nicole:

Can I send mine too? I know how much capacity does grandparents have?

Morgan:

And I’m also, of course, blended family. So my oldest is going with her dad for the month and I’m about to live a primetime summer, is what I call it. Not a hot girls summer.

Nicole:

I don’t know. It might get a little hot at the end. I don’t know.

Morgan:

We still cute.

Nicole:

Yeah, we still can classy, elegant. Yeah. Effective, productive.

Morgan:

Yeah, all the things. But I’m 30 plus.

Nicole:

Yes. I mean, listen, that’s brand new, 30 is the new 20. Because I see some of these six year olds. I think Halle Berry is like 57. She’s out there having babies, looking better than she did when she was younger.

Blair:

Age isn’t what I thought it was younger.

Nicole:

Not even what it was. When I look back, just a little factoid, because everyone knows I’m like this. I Google the ages of the Golden Girls or like, what their characters are supposed to be. I’m not kidding. I think Sophia was supposed to be like 65, but when you look at them now, they look to me, they look like they’re 80 something. Eighties the characters were supposed to be like 63 and I’m just like, this is not even so 30 is not what it used to be.

Blair:

It’s not what he looked about 60 back in the day too.

Nicole:

It sure did. Not anymore. So all that being said, it sounds like you are primed and ready for make it happen. And then, Blair, what do you have going on? I’ve got a feeling you’re about to do the most? I don’t know. Me and Morgan might have to tackle you.

Blair:

What are you trying to do? My parents do not have the capacity, so they took one at a time.

Nicole:

Okay. It still helps. People don’t know. Bless aunties. Just take some, just take you know what I mean?

Blair:

So they took my son for two weeks and then in August they’ll take my daughter. But it’s been nice because I put them in camp during the summer, so they’re home schooled during the school year. And so I just hear them all day.

Nicole:

Yes, it’s a real thing. And the talking. Yeah, you know what I mean? They have all the things they want to tell you.

Blair:

Well, I don’t like 2020 came…

Nicole:

You still hear them? Yeah. First of all, can we just say bless the teachers. Bless educators. We love you, you’re amazing. We could not do without you. Bless the aunties, the grandparents. It takes a village for real. However, sometimes I don’t even want any interaction.

Blair:

I don’t know how my teacher doesn’t quit, honestly, because I would have quit.

Nicole:

And all the same age kindergarten teachers, you want a room full of six year olds and then you go home to your own. What?

Blair:

It’s just a different energy. You’re hardwired for it. They’re in camp and we do our work, but I watch TV. I read like five books in five days last week. That’s my most. I love to read.

Nicole:

Yeah, I know. All the mamas right now are like, blair is something different. You are different.

Morgan:

She is insane.

Nicole:

You are cut different. I am not like this.

Morgan:

She is insane.

Nicole:

I get a pocket of time and I’m like, okay, so let’s see. Will I start with ice cream or am I going to work my way to chips? You know what, girl? Both.

Blair:

You put on the audiobook and then you go to the freezer!

Nicole:

I drive in silence. I want silence. I’m like, I just need space to just mind my own thoughts. Mindless like just nothingness. I want to be productive, but I’m also trying to really recalibrate the appropriateness that I’ve talked about a lot on this show. My upbringing is one that women are meant to be productive in the world. That is our job is to solely be like I am truly proverbial. I can mend my own clothes, I can grow my own food, I can manage that, I can do all the things but should I? You know what I mean? Like, all the time, constantly, nonstop, without help? I don’t know about all that. It’s a balance. So I have all the skills, and I’m ready to employ them for my family. But at times, I rest and I just receive what is also in proverbs. My family celebrating and telling me how wonderful I am and how great. I just want to lay back. You all bring up hearts. Bring me cheese. I earned it. I love it. But Blair, I love hearing that. I love hearing that you’re able to get to the never-ending list of the me things, like the two lists and all that fun. So sounds like a good summer of Momming Actually. I love that.

Morgan:
I see what you did there?

Nicole:

So where can we find you? What can we do to keep listening in on this relationship that you guys have and learn? Where can we learn more about you?

Blair:

Well, you can check us out on YouTube. That’s the main place to see the full visual because there’s a visual podcast.

Nicole:

And that is honestly, God says, use all your gifts and the way y’all looks, ladies. Visual podcast. Yes.

Blair:

So, yes, YouTube is where you can see the full visual podcast, but we are on all audio podcast platforms. Anywhere you listen to your podcast, we are there. We are on Instagram and everywhere you look for us, just at Moms Actually. We try to keep it easy for you.

Nicole:

Yeah, perfect. That’s the way to do it. That’s good branding. You all listen, follow, catch up, comment below what you love. Put it in the review. All the details are in the show notes. Ladies, thank you so much for being here. And I can’t wait to hang with you while you’re in LA!

Morgan:

Very excited. Thank you so much for having us.

Blair:

Yes, thank you!