Nicole:

Hey, everyone. So I love, love, love, love when I get to have special chats with incredible people and you know that every single time I bring one of my friends here to our space, that it’s going to be a chat that’s going to be transformative and today is no different. I am here with a good friend, an impactful and transformative woman and she is so smart and so generous. We are going to have shifts today. I’m here in studio with my dear friend, Ginny Priem. Ginny, how are you doing?

Ginny:

I’m so good. And thrilled to be here with you today.

Nicole:

Oh, it’s gonna be such a good one. Now, Ginny obviously has her own podcast. She is inspiring. She’s an author. She’s a motivational speaker. She has worked in corporate America, shifted out of that lifestyle. And she spends her whole life giving to other women to move them from where they are to where they want to be. And I am thrilled that you’re here to talk with us about your story because your story, when I first read your book, when I tell you, I was floored that you are still standing, because the things you have been through would have put many of us under the ground.

So I’m going to turn over to you please just give us a high level overview, hit the points, everyone lean in. And if you’ve got littles around, this may be a headphone moment because the stuff that happened here was a doozy. Lean in Ginny.

Ginny:

Okay, well, I can do it in a non-headphony way.

Nicole:

I love that

Ginny:

For everybody. Um, gosh, where to even start. I guess I’ll start back at the beginning. So here I was single, living my best life career focused, traveling great places, both for work and for fun, spending my free time with my friends, mostly my dogs. But I was so happy. And then I was introduced to Chad, as he’s named in the book, but I wasn’t really interested at first. Over a few cocktails. I kind of broke those barriers down.

Nicole:

Who isn’t more interested over a few cocktails, Ginny? Okay, so many stories start this way. But yours gets crazy.

Ginny:

Yeah, that’s kind of what helped open the door. But one of the reasons I was hesitant is because he had kids. And you know, by opening that door and getting that feeling of butterflies, opening the door a little more, I fell in love. And then I met his kids and fell in love two more times. And I had this instant family. You know a little something about that, about that.

Nicole:

I know all about that and I’ve done it many times over. And it’s when you’re in it, it is such a dream.

Ginny:

So was it a dream. It was a bit of a fairy tale. It felt like it was a passionate love story. And you can read about that part in the book. And I found myself in school pickup lines and drop off lines and you know, soccer games and movie nights cuddling on the couch. And that’s not anything that was ever in my plans. It wasn’t part of my journey that I expected. But I did, I loved it. I was so happy, surprisingly. Until one day a friend wanted to meet. And she wanted to meet for cocktails, which was very unusual because this friend and I had never met for cocktails.

Nicole:

Wow, it was always like a lesson number one, y’all if a friend that you never ever hang out with wants to meet you for cocktail, she’s trying to grease the wheels because she’s got something to tell you.

Ginny:

Right. But things were so good for me at that point that I all day thought I was going into support her. That she needed something from me.

Nicole:

Ginny, that’s your norm. Let’s just say you’re always the one who’s showing up for a friend to be like and I’ve known Ginny for a bit and she’s this is just how she is. So I get that. So you show up and I’m guessing that’s not what it was right?

Ginny:

No, not at all. So she laid out this arrangement of evidence of deceit, betrayal, lies, and it was detailed, like dates, names, locations. And this was all about the man that was living in my life.

Nicole:

I’m not kidding, y’all. This book will blow your mind. It is a Lifetime movie HBO special, Dear John letter all wrapped up into one. I mean, when you read about what was in this paperwork, you will be floored. It’s honestly, it’s not even believable. I was in shock with you in that moment. How did you feel when you saw all of this in front of you from a trusted friend to not someone who just make this up?

Ginny:

Yeah, it was from a trusted friend and you’re part of me if I’m being very transparent, it was shocking but there were also red flags. So it’s like I walked into this restaurant, one woman with one life. And I was walking out, like facing this new life that I had no idea what it looked like, because I completely changed my life, you know, to welcome him and his kids in. And then I’m leaving looking at this new prospect, but there was just too much evidence, and basically, the relationship was over that weekend. And well, that’s a really good story. Sure. The after story, I think is the even better one, that’s when it got crazy.

Nicole:

So let’s talk about this. So the theme of this entire season has been starting over, that we got to get used to it, that is going to happen unexpectedly, and then it will likely happen often. Now, a lot of us think that starting over something that happens gradually, or that we can kind of see coming, I mean, you went in to have cocktails and left having to start over. So knowing that you had a whole life that you were leaning into, I mean, truly, you were building your forever. And then you walked into that parking lot, and forever was gone.

What was the first thing that you had to kind of adjust to because this is what you really do specialize in helping women with, you know, there are so many women all the time who are like, I just don’t even know where to begin. And you have methods and systems and processes that help them deal with this. So people can work with you in that way but this is how you came to this how you learn because you’re in front of me now, what did you do?

Ginny:

Well, grief is a funny thing. So quite honestly, the first thing I did was I got my nails done.

Nicole:

Listen, I eat french fries, we all have our systems. Okay.

Ginny:

But that was what was on my calendar. And when you’re in that state of shock and grief, like you don’t know how you’re going to how, what, what’s next, like, I just had to look at my calendar and go through the motions and getting through.

Nicole:

And, you know, I think that that’s a really valuable thing for anyone to hear. Because sometimes people will judge grief because they’ll say, How could she still go to her such and such? How could she finish this thing? And you might even judge yourself like, I should just go home and cry and hide in a closet, but then you go pick up the kids, you know, nothing’s wrong with you for doing the next right thing. And so I hope you guys are picking up the gems from Gin here. Okay. There’s just tons of them here. So after that, at what point were you like, I’ve got to realize, like, something’s going to happen, because you said it was over that weekend. So what came next?

Ginny:

Yeah, so there was a little bit of putting one foot in front of the other. And what I realized in hindsight, was I was actually following this path, the Gin path, which is the journey and the path that I walked down for my healing and growing journey. And so the first thing I did was I started gathering. At first I had to just gather myself, gather my breath. Gather my, you know, now many of us get that.

Nicole:

Yeah, we skip that a lot. And I really, I mean, honestly, when I told you that not only it’s a story crazy, but you’ve got to have a pen and paper for this one. Because if the first step in the Gin path is to gather and gather yourself, gather your tools, gather everything, you need to move forward. So many of us beat ourselves up, because we think we’re supposed to take off running. And you’re saying that no, and we’re confronted with starting over, the first thing we need to do is pause and gather what we need before we move. That’s good. That’s good. Okay. And so you did that? What did that look like for you?

Ginny:

For me, it looked like gathering a lot of information. And first of all, it had to, I had to take a hard look at this is what just happened, and face it head on. And I think that’s the biggest part of like, we hear the phrase like change is, you know, inevitable. But transformation is a conscious choice. I had to make that conscious choice. And so for me, what it looked like was gathering a lot of information, I had to ask myself a lot of hard questions like, How did I let this happen? Why did I welcome this into my life, and then start gathering a lot of information. So I read books, I did, you know, looked at every journal article that I could about different behaviors and characteristics that I identified in him. And quite honestly, other people in my life.

Nicole:

Oh, well, I just want to pause on that HOO girl. So the first thing I recognize here that I think is really powerful for anyone listening and evidence of how you help support women, is that ownership, ownership, because ultimately, we are not responsible for the horrible things that other people do to us. But we absolutely are responsible for making sure they don’t happen again, by building boundaries, learning more about protecting ourselves and getting these people the heck out of our lives. So that was part of your process was, hey, I need to learn what this looks like and make sure it’s not replicating itself anywhere else. And so I mean, it sounds like this starting over process was an awakening of many different areas. Did you you find other people who treated you this way or used you this way or violated your boundaries this way. I’m telling you, I’ll read this book, read the book. It’s called Your my favorite by Ginny Priem. It is on Amazon. You can buy it now. You’re my favorite by Ginny Priem, such a good read. So keep going. So what happened?

Ginny:

Yes, I absolutely started identifying those things. And that kind of leads into the I, which is intentions and intentionality. And I know you’re big on that I am and you know who else talks about intentions all the time probably because of you, Oprah.

Nicole:

Oh, you know, it’s so funny because and then we’re going to take a brief break here for if you guys are new to the brand, if you’re new to the podcast, you understand that I am clearly an icon. Okay. So naturally, you know this, this woman who shall remain unnamed, wants to do everything I do, you know, and I talk about intentionality all the time since birth. And I mean, the since she was also born, she also likes to copy what I do, but we’ll get to that another day. You’re right, I invented the concept of intentionality. I love hearing that it’s something that you also leverage. So tell me, tell me about that. So we’ve got the G, which is to gather, this is how we face starting over, this is how we face transformation G is gather. I is intentions. Perfect.

Ginny:

And there’s a couple of different ways to look at that. So one of the things that I discovered on a retreat that I went to about a year post the breakup was intentions or positive affirmations. So the first way that I started to really reflect was how do I talk to myself?

Nicole:

That’s really good, just because honestly, I’m not gonna lie when you talked about the gathering part and taking ownership over things. I was like, how am I not beating myself up, but it’s nice to know that the I portion of this method is loving myself. Yeah. Because you could stay down and never bring yourself back up. So that’s good.

Ginny:

I also think like intentions is a little bit of self compassion. So grace, yes. Granting yourself some grace, and, you know, leaning into how we talk to ourselves, because that really does shift how we feel, who we spend our time around. Like, my dad used to always like to say, you’re only as good as the company you keep. And I was like, No, I’m my own person.

Nicole:

It doesn’t matter. I can be around people who are total trash, and I’ll still be sunshine. It’s like, no, no, no. It rubs off.

Ginny:

Yeah. So being intentional about what you’re doing, being mindful about who you’re spending your time around. Because I like to equate to it as like your emotional bank account.

Nicole:

That’s good, that’s good. And where are we spending our time from our emotional bank? So good. What’s great about working with Ginny, and just hearing everything she says and sharing her stories that everything you’re saying, I think on some level, it really resonates with us, because we all know this. But the way that you package things helps accelerate people towards transformation, because it’s so digestible. And it’s just so, I would just keep it real. It’s so dang honest, you can’t say it’s not true. You know what I mean? It just makes sense. So you went through this in your story, right? Saying like, Okay, I got a love of myself, because clearly I was not being loved at all, properly. So where were you mindset wise? Because I know that in my starting over journey, I mean, I definitely went through that season of, I can’t believe I let this happen. And how the heck am I going to start over because I have to work harder than ever before. I’m a single mom with these babies. I am running this business, like wanting to beat myself up. So how did you pick up and do anything? After being in this pit? You know, that you were put into frankly

Ginny:

It’s almost like, you’re inviting me to the next step, which is the nurture. And so after you’ve done that intentionally, it was the nurture. And it was about a year after it was on that same retreat, where I really started to use my intentions and positive intentions, where I started to meditate. And so nurturing yourself, like taking care of yourself. There’s a lot of different ways to do that. And that’s what I like about Gin path is like, that’s my path. But it’s also your path. Sure. And it’s not like you have to do this, this and this.

Nicole:

It’s hitting the points, but doing it in the way that manifests for you.

Ginny:

Yes, right. And so like, I know, you’re a God girl, and a lot of your listeners are and so maybe it’s nurture is spending time with my faith.

Nicole:

Yes, that’s a huge part of it. What does God have for me, you know, in that meditative, prayerful state, what does God have for me? Really listening because just like you said, and we’ve talked to you guys don’t know. But we’ve mentioned, we talk all the time. And we talked offline about this, you know, in following those steps, gather, intention, nurture. For me, the nurturing part was literally realizing I didn’t spend much time listening to God while I was in the chaos of my relationship.

So getting away and creating that space to nurture myself in that relationship with Christ, as is my beliefs. Like, a lot of clarity came, I was shocked that following the steps gave me so much clarity. And if you read the book, that’s what happened for you. You got good and clear girl. So I mean, and I think that you guys don’t know spoiler alert. There’s more plot twists coming, not just in the book, but even with where Ginny is now. So tell us about that. You’ve walked through the path you’re at nurture tell me he must have been all the way healed perfectly perfect. So having content with your life, everything was perfect, right?

Ginny:

Wouldn’t that be something. Unfortunately, that’s just not how life works. But, you know, fast forward a few years, and I you know, I’ve been following you for a long time, and I saw this opportunity. I just published my book and I saw an opportunity to work with you and do a VIP day and work with you one on one so I took it.

Nicole:

Yeah we had a blast. Honestly, it wasn’t even a day. It ended up becoming like two plus days just because we were hanging out and having a good time. Doing the work.

Ginny:

It was the best. And you brought me here, I got to watch you record a proper podcast. So it was one of the things that said, you need to be doing this journey. And after publishing my book, I just knew that there was more work for me to do in this space. Yeah, I was feeling pulled and pushed in this direction. Yes. And I knew that that next step was to work with somebody that could help me build the framework, use the strategic steps, and really build everything out. That was only 90 days ago.

Nicole:

So that’s the thing I want to call out here. The fact that you already had the Gin path that you’d live that to recover from this heavily traumatic experience, you know, and here you are living a life that frankly, people would envy. Like, I mean, before we met, before any of the people would envy your life. I mean, you have discretionary income, you have the world’s best looking dog, okay, you are able to travel, you work in a great field, you know, I mean, you truly have a great apartment, you have a great life, you know, you have all these things. And yet, you’re saying to yourself, I want to start over, do more and give back. And with that intention, because you live the Gin path, in 90 days you are I think you have a podcast that you just launched that’s doing really well you’re doing I mean, just you’re working on speaking. I mean, it’s so many things are coming into sight for you in just 90 days. I mean, it’s, it’s amazing. It’s amazing to me. But the part about that I think really stands out that I hope everyone hears is it’s the intentionality of following your process that got you where you are?

Ginny:

Yes.

Nicole:

How do you feel about starting over? Again?

Ginny:

You know, I think that you can look at it a couple different ways, I think you can look at it. It’s like we hear the saying, like glass half empty, glass half full. Like for me, I looked at it as an opportunity. And so I had this opportunity to start over and do something more that felt more aligned with my purpose. And my path. And it’s scary. Like we just spent, you know, two days at a seminar with you. And you talked about like, a lot of people are scared to step into their purpose because they’re afraid of leaving the security.

Nicole:

You’re not because I mean, you’ve walked into a restaurant and you’re that security was yanked. So I was talking to everyone else but you Ginny. You’re like, oh, security is not a real thing. Please like that’s your energy. So yeah.

Ginny:

I think for me, I personally looked at it as an opportunity. And I’ll continue to look at it as an opportunity. So to be able to use my story, to help other people and to use it for good. And look, I know some people might not think that my story is the biggest story.

Nicole:

Oh, it’s big. Oh, it’s big. It’s funny, because your story just to kind of call it out and be like, I hate to make this alignment. But there was a very popular special, you know, that was out there about a woman who was taken by a con artist, who was known for taking lots of women. And I just want to let you know, this guy, very similar attributes, very similar personality. And that became a hit podcast series, as well as a hit TV show. Ginny, this ain’t no different. Okay, and it is concerning. So, and that guy still out there? You don’t I mean, he’s still out there. And as a matter of fact, I think it’s worth noting, like, you had this whole family and you had this whole thing. Are you still in their life?

Ginny:

I am. So I flew out here over the weekend. And just that morning, I had breakfast with my Modern Family.

Nicole:

I just want to say, you want to talk about plot twist no one expects, we think when we start over, we have to leave everything behind. But if you are strong enough, and if you follow the systems and stick with the tools you know, sometimes you can keep everything you had before, but you’re still safe, which is crazy. Like you’re still in their life.

Ginny:

Yeah. And you get to create the framework of what that looks like. And I fortunately the kids mom is wonderful. We do girls trips, we get together for dinner all the time. And then we also have like our special little modern family, where it’s the four of us where we do Spring Break together or have breakfast together. We celebrate the holidays together as our own little modern family unit. And it’s wonderful. And I think that’s part of the starting over piece, like teaching them lessons and being able to be in their lives to teach them that people aren’t disposable. People matter. And so there’s so many different aspects that you can take from that starting over aspect where it’s starting over and growing forward.

Nicole:

Oh, that’s so good. I don’t even know if we have too much more after that. I mean, starting over and growing forward. Wow. So many lessons. I literally could talk to you for days, have done. Have talked to you for days. But I absolutely know that the gems from gin that we just had in this moment will change people’s lives y’all a place to start is grabbing her book, you’re my favorite by Ginny Priem that’s available on Amazon. All the details will be in the show notes. But I also want you to know that you can work with Ginny, if you’re in this place of transformation, if you’re needing to start over. If you’re just wondering how you can bounce back from something that hopefully doesn’t look anything like this. I mean, Ginny has bounced back from the craziest of the crazies. So how can people reach out to you, get that support, get that plan and that path that’ll help them move forward?

Ginny:

The best way is through Instagram, right? I love to connect with people. So reach out to me on Instagram. What I have found is that through sharing my story, other people are inspired and are comfortable and like feel invited and welcome to share theirs. So as people are sharing their stories, I’m starting to share them anonymously. Maybe they don’t want to be a guest on the podcast, but they can share them anonymously, reach out and connect with me that way, because that way we can start that dialogue.

Nicole:

Oh, I love that. And where can people find you?

Ginny:

On Instagram at Ginny Priem, at Ginny Priem.

Nicole:

Oh, y’all. What a blessing that Ginny’s here with us today. And I just want to let you know that there is so much strength in numbers. And there’s so much strength in being honest and leaning in on the people who have gone before us and really grown. So thank you so much for being here Ginny, you are so appreciated.

Ginny:

Thank you for having me.