Survivor’s Guilt

by Nicole Walters | Jan 5, 2021

Survivors Guilt

Friend, how are you? I’m so excited to be back to our regular chats. I want to kick season 2 off with a conversation about survivor’s guilt and well, 2020!

If you’re struggling to share the good that’s happened to you over the last year (I know you’ve had some wins!) then this episode is for you. Let’s chat together and give one another a little hope!

Thanks for spending time with me each week! Let’s chat more on Instagram or Twitter – find me @NicoleWalters. Talk soon friend.

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey friend, how are you doing? How are you feeling in the world today? I know it’s been some time since we’ve chatted and I’m really, really excited to get back to our time together. I know that neither of us could have expected that we’d be resuming our weekly friend chats in a world that looks like this, but one thing, and the thing I really want to talk about today that I think is critically important is that we acknowledge that ​we get to be here​. That it’s just such a privilege that we have this time and the space in this world and even with all the craziness, man, God has really kept us, huh? I think that’s the phrase that I’ve been using to describe what we’re dealing with right now. And the last time we spoke, I did, you know, I think one or two quick chats for us last year, right before this crazy pandemic things started picking up.

(01:54):
And now that we’ve all kind of settled into knowing what we’re dealing with and trying to figure out how to navigate parenting and business and marriage. You know, a lot of us aren’t talking about how our marriages are changing and evolving during this time. I just really want to kind of take a moment, you know, and just, you know, our chats, aren’t very long, they’re just a few minutes, but hopefully it just jogs some thoughts and helps us sort of reflect and maybe have some gratitude. So let’s circle back to what I was saying, which is I, you guys know I’m a God girl, right? So even if you’re not one or if you’re new around here and you’re like, who’s Nicole, and what is this podcast about? I want to let you know, this podcast is just us talking. It’s the two of us sitting down having a moment and just being all the way real about the stuff that may not feel comfortable saying elsewhere or things that we may not talk about even to some of our best girlfriends or the things that as moms, we may not feel we can say out loud or the things that as women, we may not feel comfortable saying in the workplace.

(02:57):
And above all else, it’s just a place to tell funny stories and about everything that you may or may not see online and tell some of the deeper stories, behind our family’s story. So all that said, it’s been such a crazy year beyond most of our wildest imaginations. And I think what I want to talk about now is survivor’s guilt. And it may be a term that you’re familiar with, you know, survivor’s guilt is typically what happens after a major world event, whether it is a natural disaster or a terrorist activity or something that is a shared trauma with a group of people. And I got to tell you that I don’t want to ever minimize what other people have gone through. I certainly haven’t been through a hurricane and I certainly haven’t been through a terrorist event, but there’s a collective trauma that I think we’ve all kind of been through together.

(03:51):
And while I truly hope and pray that you in particular haven’t felt the impacts in ways that are just the worst. You know, so many people have lost lives and family and have empty seats at the table. But even if that is the case, the fact that we’re sitting here right now, having this conversation, whether you’re washing the dishes or working out or going for a walk or in the office, you know, ​we’re here together.​ And I don’t know about you, but it feels a little weird. I don’t know. Am I the only one? Are you like nodding a little? It’s just a little bit weird. Right? And I mean, not weird in a, I’m not happy I’m here or I’m, you know, don’t know what to do with my day. I’ve kind of figured out a new thing. Right? You know, if, if it’s not just sitting on the couch all day, eating cereal, haha.

(04:40):
Which is what I really want to do, it’s getting up and kind of managing the kids and making sure they’re paying attention to school. And, you know, we’ve all learned that, you know, God bless the teachers, but they can’t teach. Right. Like pretty much they’re providing assignments and we have to teach, as parents. Right. So we’ve figured out and navigated a new agenda and structure. But whenever we have like a brief moment to really reflect on it, I know that this is how I feel. And I’m sure you probably relate, I definitely feel weird about sharing some of the good things that have happened. So because it’s been some time since we’ve had a chat, I really wanted to kick this off with, “Oh my gosh, look at all the things that are going on. We’ve got the TV show and I’m working on a book.”

(05:21):
And you know, like I really wanted to share all the things that I’ve managed to work on in 2020. But then I was hit like in my gut. And I, I, I’m certain that you probably feel this too, when you post things online, you know how people say now that when you post certain things, that’s like, watch your tone or this is tone deaf. And all of that, it’s like, I have no problem sharing the good things that have happened, but I don’t even know how I feel about the good things that have happened. Does that make sense? Are you with me? Like so many people have suffered so greatly that it feels like the fact that I’m even able to order food and have it delivered to my house is just such a blessing. And it really has put into perspective how grateful I am for God keeping me in this season.

(06:08):
And I’m not talking about, you know, looking at this year and saying, this is my year. I have prospered. I am thriving. Look, a lot of great things have happened, you know, in context, but let’s be honest. I’m back up to a size large in Spanx y’all. For real, I have put on these pandemic pounds proudly without hesitation, via popcorn and fudge. I’ve got no regrets there. We’ve done this together. We have deepened our friendship together, but there’s the guilt of knowing that you made it in so many people didn’t that some of the things in your life that are pretty stable and consistent like food, or if you still have your job then work, you know, or housing. I mean, things that in the past, we may have had some gratitude for, but now in just a widespread way, we are just so grateful for it.

(07:00):
And I just want to let you know that this is kind of how I’m handling this. So if this is something that you’re feeling where you’re like, I don’t want to share too much out loud, or I don’t want to over celebrate my good or, you know, if you’re already somebody like me who battles things like imposter syndrome or not wanting to be too braggy and, you know, just balancing out humility and ego and all of those millions of feelings. I just want to let you know in 2021, that I found a whole new way to look at it. And you’re going to hear this, you know, throughout our weekly chats, because I’m going to share the good things that are happening. And here’s why, one, we need reminders. All of us, ​we need reminders and we need hope.​ We need to remind each other that God is still out there doing big things in a big way. That he’s consistent and showing up.

(07:55):
We need reminders that people are still getting jobs and getting promotions, that people are still staying in their marriages and making parenting mistakes and recovering from them. We need reminders once in a while that people wear real pants. Listen, girl, if you got a pair of pants and your butt is looking good, go ahead and post that picture on social. Let me double tap that and give it a heart. Okay. I need to know that somebody isn’t just wearing elastic all the time like me, all right. I’m telling you, it’s so tempting in a difficult and trying time for us to try to keep everything quiet, to minimize our wins, to get comfortable in the mediocre. And I want to let you know right now that you need to live out loud, boldly, more than ever before. This isn’t just a year to stack up a bunch of goals and reach for the stars, sure.

(08:51):
There’s nothing wrong with doing that too, but this is a year to give God the glory for the big and the small. If you’re happy that your marriage is hitting an anniversary mark of 20 years, even though you know that so many people experienced loss in this season, shout it out loud. If you’re thrilled that you’re here, the kids have hit milestones. And if you guys don’t know, the MidTiny got a 3.0 GPA in her first semester of college, during a pandemic, at home. That’s right. Mama pride! And I know you’ve got some auntie pride too, right? And you shout it out loud. Part of me really believes that whenever bad things happen and they’re going to happen, life is difficult. It is complex, but it’s consistent. And I want to let you know that when bad things happen, sometimes it’s an opportunity for us to realize that God has always been there in the big and the small, and for us to be able to put into context for the world, that this is another opportunity to look at all the different ways that good showed up and to shout it out loud.

(10:03):
So yes, it hasn’t been easy to be a person who’s found ways to thrive during this collective season of pain, but I’ve done it and you’ve done it. As a matter of fact, you’re doing it right now. You’re taking a moment to connect with a friend. For us to be able to share and to listen and to laugh. And these are all things that you don’t have to do, but you’re taking care of yourself and you deserve it. And it’s really important that despite all the things that are happening outside of the world, that we stay on the platform, that we don’t go on the rollercoaster and that we never ever beat ourselves up about the fact that we’re still winning. Now, we’ve got a full year to take this journey together and I’m so excited about it. I got a lot of big things coming, opportunities for us to connect in whole new ways.

(11:03):
I’m excited about deepening our friendship and learning more about you. You know, that I’m always open to hearing from you on Instagram and Twitter and Social media, slide into my DMs! I love to chat, but I’m also really, really excited because I’m taking this chat in a different direction. Now I’ve used this time to share a lot of stories around what’s happened in entrepreneurship and things of that sort. But this year, I feel like it’s time for our friendship to go to a whole new level, to get a little deeper. I think that now that you’ve seen me in nothing but bonnets and braless and sweatpants for an entire year, I think it’s time we keep it all the way real. So we’re going to talk about the hard stuff. I’m going to talk about my marriage and what we’ve been through over the last year.

(11:54):
We’re still good. Me and the Hubbin are still together, but it hasn’t been easy. We’ve been forced to really spend time together and chat about difficult things. I’m going to dive into that too, right here in our chats. I’m also going to talk about parenting. As you may have noticed on social media, BigTiny, she’s not here with us now. Granted, she turns 22 in the coming year. She’s a big girl, but parenting older kids has been a huge challenge for me. And if you’re a mama who either has older kids, you’re already nodding and knowing what I’m talking about. But if you got little ones, I just want to give you a heads up and a lesson to kind of what I’m learning as I go. And then there’s a little one, my sweet Puffin, your little internet niece. She’s not so little anymore.

(12:48):

She turns 10 this year and we’re noticing some things that are requiring us to be a little bit more hands-on. Nothing too crazy, normal kids stuff, but boy, it is challenging my spirit. I tell you, this pandemic has brought a whole new world and a whole new perspective. And I’m really excited that we have this space here week after week to keep it real, keep it messy, to be a functional hot mess. I really appreciate that you take out the time to chat with me here, whether it’s on the way to work or cooking dinner with the family or with the kids. And I just want to let you know that I really hope that our time together enriches you and helps you grow and helps you grant me a little bit of grace because everything can look really shiny on the internet, but you know what, we’re all just trying to do our very best with what we’ve got. With that said, welcome back. I can’t wait to chat with you more next week. We’re going to dive more into this BigTiny business. I love you friend, have a great rest of the day.

(14:01):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why I’m struggling to celebrate the good,
• What survivor’s guilt is,
• How I’ve been handling all the changes that 2020 brought, and
• What you can expect from our chats moving ahead!

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Join the RichFriend email list by going to NicoleWalters.com and adding your email address!
• Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

Do not get weary

by Nicole Walters | Jun 9, 2020

Do not get weary

We’ve collected some wins over the last week and you may start hearing people say, “Is it over yet?” and “Why are you still mad?” In this episode I want to have an open and honest conversation about how the Black Lives Matter movement isn’t over and what we’re really after.

We need you to stay in this fight and not grow weary and this conversation will help. Thanks for being here friend. These conversations can be uncomfortable but are worth it. Alright head over to Instagram and share your thoughts with me. Let’s talk about this together.

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey everybody. Hey guys. I wanted to come on because a lot of stuff has just happened recently and I wanted to unpack some of the recent news with you to help you internalize it really, really well, and to apply it to your life even better. And to hopefully get ahead of possibly saying some things that you may not want to say that could cause a little bit of confusion or not really help things move in a positive direction. So if this is your first time, thank you so much for jumping on. If you just have five minutes, this will help a lot. And like, I always like to start out. This is an open, honest conversation in a safe place and safe, meaning that the intent here is to know everyone’s intention is forward moving progress and everyone’s intention is to learn. And everyone’s intention is application of the things that we’re learning, not just performative, listening, right?

(01:46):
We actually want to deep down be the person that we say we want to be, right? So here’s what I want to talk about. And it may be a smidge uncomfortable, but I promise you, it’s not going to be the type of uncomfortable that isn’t going to leave you better off. So you may have heard recently, especially if you are one of my lighter brighters right, which is a term I use for anyone who may be Caucasian, white or white presenting. Right? So meaning you’re afforded some of the benefits and perks of being white, even if you’re not. So here’s what we’re going to talk about. You may have heard that the other officers in the George Floyd murder have now been charged and there were three other officers that weren’t charged right away. Uh, the primary officer involved in the crime was charged, you know, not right away, but before these other officers were charged.

(02:35):
So this is just, I’m just explaining just general news, right? Like this is not an opinion. It’s not political. It’s just the news. Right. And furthermore, the original primary officer was also, his charges were upgraded from third degree murder to second degree murder. Right? So that’s the latest and the greatest in terms of the news. And it doesn’t matter how you feel about that portion of it. Right? I want to talk to you about what comes next, because I think that it’s possible. And I’m not saying this is how you feel, but it may be how other people around you feel, that some people are going to think that this is what’s going to make everything stop. And I wanted to come on just before people even start getting on Facebook or being on Facebook arguments or things like that to kind of give you some perspective.

(03:24):
Because it’s very possible, I just want to prepare you as like your friend. I’m just hear me out. It’s very possible that this is not going to be the thing like, um, and I’m going to use the sentence here. Cause you may hear it. I’m not saying it’s what you’ll say, but it may be what you hear other people say or people around you say, “Well, now they got what they want. So why are they still mad?” or “Now they got what they want so why are they still protesting?” or, “They got what they want. So why is this still happening?” And you’re going to hear, you’re going to hear that language just because racism isn’t gone and a hashtag, right? It’s not gone in a thing. You’re going to hear that type of icky language and perspectives and odds are those perspectives are from people who just may not understand some of the things you’ve been working on or some of the things you’ve been reading and diving into.

(04:11):
But the reality is part of why people are so, so upset right now, people meaning black people is because it isn’t about just one isolated incident. It’s about the whole fact that our, that black lives have not been treated well in this country. And they’ve been at risk. So because we have such a long history of basically being like, please pay attention, please pay attention. We swear, this is serious. Can you please just investigate, please take it seriously. Like it’s really, really scary. Like I really need some help and not getting any reaction from it. And sometimes even being told, yeah, you’re making it up. The fact that this one thing has happened, isn’t going to be enough to have people say, Oh, okay, good. Well, I’m glad everyone understands. Like that’s not going to be enough. And furthermore, believe it or not, a lot of black people are going to be scared that even though they’ve been arrested that the justice system’s not going to work to do its complete job, which means really doing a full trial, really doing a thorough investigation, really calling the best witnesses in and making sure that if they’re prosecuted, right.

(05:22):
Even if they’re found guilty, you know, by the full justice system that they’re going to get enough time in jail rather than a Oh right. Well, you met what you meant. You know, like we know where we get it. We did the process. And so I say all this to kind of prepare you to let you know that it isn’t over yet. And it’s really important that if you start one of the things you’re going to start hearing from people who, you know, may have been all about the, like I get this whole black lives matter thing now, but they’re going to be like, is this done yet? Like, they’re just eager to feel. Cause here’s the deal. It’s been uncomfortable for everyone. Right? It’s been overwhelming to let this consume our lives for like the past week. But for black people it’s consumed our lives for our entire lives.

(06:05):
And so for a lot of people, they’re going to look at all of this and say, I cannot not wait to get some air. Right. I cannot wait to get some air. When are we going to get back to posting gym selfies? I didn’t do squats for no reason. I want to post that on Instagram. Right. And you’re going to realize very quickly that it’s not over, it’s not over. And so I know that we all probably want a little breathing space right from this situation. But the problem is that because people weren’t able to breathe and they were killed, this is going to keep going. And so what’s really important. I think what matters most to so many black people that are in your life and that you will see continue to speak up about this and what we’re probably most scared of more than anything, because a lot of us are prepared for this to not even work out in terms of a trial.

(06:57):
A lot of us are prepared for just in case this doesn’t work out. Right. Cause we’ve been here before, but at what I think most of us and I don’t want to speak for all black people, but what I, what I can honestly say, I feel for sure and I’m hoping you hear and understand is that I’m more scared that you’re going to be over it. Oh, I don’t want to get emotional. I don’t want to cry about it, but I’m most scared that you’re going to be over it. And that you’re going to say this was too hard and I don’t want to do this anymore because it’s not my thing. You know? And I just want to let you know that even if you decide that you’re tired of doing this, and even if you decide that like, well, they got what they wanted.

(07:38):
I’m still going to be scared in the car. And I’m still going to be scared. Like when my daughter, so I have an 18 year old daughter that is amazing, right? She’s a firecracker. She beat stage four cancer, she’s a 4.0 student, she is easily one of the most amazing humans I’ve ever met in my life. Like she inspires me and I can’t even believe I get to be her mom and I, my family, my three girls are adopted and I feel so blessed that I was even chosen to like be in their world. And my baby girl, like she always asked me, I thought about his day. She was like, Oh, so I think I want to go walk the dog today. And I’m like, sure. And then I’m like, but make sure you come in at this hour and don’t go further than here and just be really careful.

(08:18):
And if anything seems off, don’t do it. Like I have to give her kind of a paragraph whenever she wants to go out and walk the dog. And those sorts of things won’t change until we know that there’s like stuff in writing in law that says that if anything, like George Floyd happens or that the officers aren’t even going to think to do something like that. So that’s kind of, that’s what we’re actually fighting for. So even though there’ve been a lot of calls to bring the other officers to justice, I really want you to understand that what we’re looking for is actual real world, like paperwork stuff, saying that like, guess what? Another George Floyd won’t happen. What we want is to make sure that there are no more George Floyd’s, not just justice for George Floyd.

(09:05):
Does that make sense friends? I hope so, because I know that there’s going to be an immediate sort of like, can it be over? And because we haven’t gotten paperwork that says like, no, like we are going to make sure that cause you know, I’m not defending officers, but every black person knows that not every cop is a bad cop. Every black person knows that. But what we’re concerned about is that the system is also failing police officers. Can you imagine that? It’s also failing them and we want to make sure they have all the tools to do their job well, so that the aren’t any more George Floyds. Meaning they shouldn’t be out on the street after a 30 hour work shift. If they have had several incidences of showing bad behavior, that needs to be noted and consequences need to be dealt and they need to make sure they can’t go and work other places.

(10:01):
Think about it if you had a police officer that you knew did a lot of things that weren’t right, and that police officer was able to go get a job as a security guard at your kid’s school, how would you feel about that? That’s scary. Right? That’s scary. It’s a scary thing. And we don’t have systems and paperwork to just keep track of those types of things and even better. If you’re someone who is a big, huge, like, you know, I’ve always really supported a lot of police officers and I’m really a big like, you know, law and order type of girl. I want you to understand that you should want these things too, because it will actually help your officers, military people get safer because if your husband or brother is a good cop, you want them to be loved, appreciated, and respected for the work they do.

(10:49):
And it’s very difficult for us to do that because we just like, you can’t tell who’s a, you know, just cause they, like they say, they can’t tell who’s the looter, who’s trouble because of, you know, systemic problems. We, we can’t really tell which cop is a good copper, always scared. Cause you guys the ones with the guns. Right? So knowing that that’s why it’s so important to not let up, because this is also your fight to make sure that your police officers are safe and to make sure that they’re able to, right? And so that’s why we want to make sure this helps everybody. So even though we are thrilled, we meaning all black people everywhere and hopefully you too, right? Hopefully you two are super thrilled to hear that we are going to engage the justice system. I just really want you to understand that it’s not over yet and you may still see people protesting and it’s likely that you’re still going to see hashtags and it’s really, really possible that we’re still going to need you to donate.

(11:48):

And we’re still gonna need you to speak up for your kid on the playground. And we’re still gonna need you whenever you’re having an event or a party or whatever else to invite your black friend, because we want to make sure that you understand that there’s still work ahead. And if you’re a mama of a toddler or have a little one or a mom of kids, I do want you to understand that if you think about it, you’re a mama for a lifetime, right? And if you’ve got a little one, you’ve got 18 years of teaching, 18 years of teaching to make sure that kid grows up into a great adult that understands the importance of seeing everyone’s color and being a helper for people who have dealt with so much oppression for so many years. So there’s work to be done, right?

(12:31):
And I don’t want you to let up. That’s my biggest fear is that I just, I don’t want the fact that we’re bearing our souls and that we’re having these conversations because this news just came out for anybody to back off. So please stick with it with us and keep calling for a fair trial and keep voting for people who are paying attention to policies, right? Not voting party, not voting people, but voting for policy, right? What do these people think, believe and do and is that the direction and the world that I want to live in. Those are the types of things we want to do. So that’s all I wanted to share with you guys. I just wanted to give you guys an opportunity to when you hear this news, come be well equipped to have those conversations because you’re going to be surrounded, especially if you’re a lighter, brighter, or you’re white person, you’re going to be equipped to.

(13:21):
Now, when you hear people around me who may not have spent time doing the work, you’re going to be able to actually say, Hey, Hey, Hey, you know, I know that you’re saying you wish that it was over. And boy, you can’t understand why people are still mad. I want to let you know, they’re mad because it’s not over. And we want to make sure that things have changed all the way, all the way. I am so grateful because I’ve gotten so many messages from so many of you about, you know, trying to increase your understanding and really trying to lean in and trying to hear where people’s hearts are and wanting to learn what to do. And I don’t think we have all of the answers, but you’re doing the work, you’re showing up and you’re getting uncomfortable. And I’m grateful that we get uncomfortable together. Like this, look at us, we got uncomfortable and we all, we made it right. But it wasn’t that bad. Right. See, and we can keep having these conversations and we can still love each other afterwards. All right. So go out, do something, do something, act, make a difference. Today’s a good day. Justice is in motion.

(14:20):
All right, guys. Thank you so much. Bye guys. Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why you may start hearing people ask, “Is it over yet?”
• How to keep yourself from growing weary,
• What really needs to happen for use to feel safe, and
• Why we need you in this fight long term

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• In addition to using your voice and voting, consider donating to organizations like:
  • Black Lives Matter
  • United Way
  • Big Brothers and Big Sisters
• Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

Fight or Flight

by Nicole Walters | May 31, 2020

Fight or Flight

It takes a lot to for me to be pushed to the place where I want to speak up about racism and what’s happening in the United States right now. If you’re one of my Rich Friends who has been along the journey with me and may not understand some of what’s going on, please take 20 minutes to listen to this message today.

If it makes you uncomfortable, please listen.
If you know we can do better as people, please listen.

I so appreciate you being here. I love spending time with you guys and this episode is one that I needed to put out. Head over to instagram and share your thoughts with me. Let’s talk about this together.

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:49):
My name is Nicole Walters of NicoleWalters.com and you know, I’m an entrepreneur, I’m a mom, I’m a wife, I’m a friend and I’m black and I have a platform here that I tend not to make political or anything like that. And if it’s uncomfortable, I just ask that you like if, especially if you’re one of my lighter brighters, my lighter, brighter friends, I just ask that you just stick with me for a little bit because you know my heart and you know who I am and I just, I’m hoping that you hear me today. So I’m struggling. I’m struggling today and the reason I’m struggling is this, and I want to make it super clear because I think that sometimes it’s hard for people to understand all the things that are happening and the reason why I want to address it, and I, I mean, I tell you, it takes me a lot to be pushed to the place where I want to speak up on these things.

(01:59):
Partly because I’m very clear on what my platform is for, right? And I’m very clear on how I want to show up in the world and I’m very clear about using my gifts, my way to be able to create change in the way that I think God has designed for me. Right? But if you’re a lighter, brighter, right? If you’re one of my rich friends who has been along the journey with me and may not understand some of what’s going on or may feel like some of it’s being, uh, overdone. If you could just give me five minutes and listen. So you know me, right? I’m trying to find the words. I’m sorry to try to find the words. I just like woke up there and I just like hit the wall. You know me. Right? And a lot of times people think that because I sound the way that I do, meaning I speak really well, you know, and I’m really educated and I’m, and I’m a Christian and you know, I have a husband who’s a lighter, brighter and things like that.

(03:04):
People often think that the stuff that happens out there doesn’t happen to me. Right? And so I say this because a lot of times it’s easy to think, okay, well if you’re doing what you’re supposed to do, right, you’ll never get hurt. Right? You never get arrested, you’ll never get shot. You’ll never, nothing will happen to you. And so I just want to be clear that I’ve been pulled over and when I, I didn’t even know, like I’m not even kidding. I didn’t even know that there’s a moment for every black person in America, right. Where you realize, okay you have to be extra careful. Cause sometimes things might happen no matter what you do. Believe it or not, it’s true. And when I get pulled over, it’s like a 45 minute event. And I didn’t know this until my husband told me that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

(04:02):
And when I get pulled over, I literally sound like this. I’m going to walk you through what this looks like. Right? So when I get pulled over, I narrate my actions, right? And I taught my daughter this one, we got her a car because we want to make sure she’s okay. Do and it’s not, cause I think police officers are bad. Like hear me with that. If they have a hard job. It’s not that I think that the military is bad. It’s not that I think that white people are mean or scary or awful or horrible. It’s that we’ve all been trained to think a certain way and we have to be willing to fight against thinking like that because if not, people are going to die. They are dying. Just like in your business, you’ve been trained or in your life, you’ve been trained to think you can’t do stuff the same way you chase personal development, the same way that you chase motivation and things like that to change your way of thinking so you can accomplish things you want to accomplish.

(05:01):
I’m telling you, it’s the same sort of thing. You believe things about yourself and you act on those things last if their reality and it causes you to manifest things in your life, that may not be the truth. You can’t do personal development and motivational work and not understand that it is possible to believe things that may not be the truth that keep you from doing the right thing. And that’s what happens. I promise you, if you don’t want to believe it from anyone, believe it for me. I promise you it’s a real thing. When I get pulled over, I narrate my actions cause I cause I want the police officer to be comfortable because I don’t want him to think I’m a threat because I want to go home cause I have kids. So I’ll say, Hey officer, you know my hands are here on the steering wheel and I know you need my license and I know you need my but they’re over here in my purse and my purse is over here on the seat.

(06:04):
I’ll tell them the color of my bag, I’ll tell him the color of my wallet so that they know that when I reach into my purse that that’s all that I’m reaching for. And then I’ll tell them I have to get it out and then I’ll ask their permission, is that okay? And then they’ll say, yeah, that’s okay. And I’ll say, can you see my hands the whole time I do it at the most demeaning part at the end of that process is when the officer says to me, thank you for doing that because it made him feel safe when they’re hired to make us feel safe.

(06:44):
What I do it because I value my life over what’s happening and I get pulled over, especially in the neighborhood that I live in in Atlanta, I get pulled over four to five times a year. I’ve been pulled over for having graduation tassels on my rear view mirror. And when that happens, they call it obstruction of vision. They pulled me over because they weren’t sure if I could see well enough behind me. But after they pulled me over for that, then they asked me, they say, so where are you coming from? Where are you headed? What are you doing? And I’m telling you right now, if you know who I am and you know how pleasant I am, right? And you know that I’ve got that megawatt smile and you know for a fact that Nicole is someone who would never commit a crime. I have no record, I have nothing.

(07:40):
You can understand that part of why people are so upset is because there’s nothing you can do to prevent being impacted by what is happening. And here’s why. People get really upset. Here’s why this goes up another level, right? So how can we safely say that it’s not okay when you get put into a position where you’re told that you can’t protest and here’s what I mean by you can’t protest. Cause a lot of people will say, well protesting is one thing, but looting is not okay. And I’m going to tell you right now that looting isn’t okay, right? It’s not okay. It’s not okay to hurt people or burn things out or whatever. But I want you to understand is it a riot or is it a revolution? Is it a riot or is it a rebellion? What happened with the Boston tea party? They sent letters, they said messengers. They openly wrote pamphlets. I mean truly if you understand history, they said, look, this is not going to stand. And then eventually they went into their equivalent of the and they burn it down. You know what I mean?

(09:00):
Yeah. Hit a wall where you don’t know what to do. And then what gets scary for people like me, you know, people who were not natural rioters. What I mean like I’m not, I don’t even know how to start a fire. On a stick. You know what I mean? I don’t even know. I’m not a natural writer. Like it’s not my nature. I just, I have words, we get scared because we don’t even know how to respond to this because when I hear that I can be shot for looting. What do I do if I have to walk through that neighborhood? Cause that’s where I live. How do I identify myself? Understand, again, this circles back to the main issue. How do I identify myself as not one of the looters? So people of color get upset because we can’t tell if we are, we can’t ident there’s no way to safely identify yourself and say you’re not going to get killed.

(10:00):
And then there’s no way to be upset properly to say, look, I just want to know the rules of the game so I can play the game and stay alive. And then you just feel stuck in a corner. And I gotta tell you when people are put into a corner, it’s fight or flight and we don’t have any place to run.

So I think sometimes why it’s hard to hear if you’re a lighter, brighter. I think sometimes why it’s hard to hear about stuff like this is and, and this is me drawing up my Christian empathy. Right? It’s hard to hear because you’re in a situation where you say to yourself, I don’t know what to do. Like I don’t know. I hear what you’re saying Nicole and Nicole, I hear that what you’re saying is real. And maybe for the first time I’m understanding that maybe there’s something going on and that maybe there’s something that needs to change.

(10:59):
So there’s a couple of things you can do, right? Cause I recognize that that’s a tough place to be in. It’s, it’s tough. I talk about business here and building your life and all those things. It’s tough. There’s a couple of things you can do. The first thing you can do is don’t raise their kids to be colorblind. Don’t say I, I treat everyone the same. I, they’re colorblind. You can’t treat black people the same. We actually need a little bit more, believe it or not, the same way that you wouldn’t tell your kid to invite a child in a wheelchair to a race, a three legged race. You would say, Hey, can you adapt the race to make up for the things that are gaps for them so that they can participate equally? That’s what you have to do to help us stay alive.

(11:45):
So with your kids say, Hey look, I just want to let you know that we’re all equal, but out in the world, not everybody thinks and because they don’t all think it. I really need you to look out for people who are of color and help them, especially if you see something happening that may be unfair or not right to them. And the reason why is you have a magic power. You have a magic power where if you say something, people listen to you, but unfortunately not everyone has that magic equally. And so what you can do is don’t just ignore their color, see their color, and when something comes up, step up and say something for them because they need your help. Just like when you see the kid who’s in a wheelchair, don’t say, Oh, well everybody has legs. Don’t say that. Say, Hey, I recognize that that slope may be a little high in yesteryear.

(12:47):
You have strength and you can probably roll up it, but I’m going to come and help you. I’m going to push you up just to make it a little bit easier for you today. Save your energy of rolling yourself up there because I know you have to roll yourself all the time. So today I’m going to push you so that later on you will still have the energy to keep going. That’s what we’re asking you to do. No one saying do it all for us. We’re just saying when things get a little crazy, right, come up in here and help us out. You know, and say, Hey, like you don’t have to be quiet. Just say, Hey, you know, I’m not sure. Like, I mean literally if you want to post on social just say, Hey, I’m not sure how to speak on all these things but I just want to let you know that I see them that I recognize some of this is a little off and maybe we should listen or even to say, Hey friend of color, is there something that I can do to help you can donate money to causes that you don’t have to.

(13:48):
If you are a person of a lighter, brighter who’s saying, Hey, I am not comfortable donating to something like black lives matters cause I don’t understand the organization you can donate to organizations that help even things out like big brother, big sisters or organizations that are helping in either impoverished communities or like the United way organizations that raise money and funds for, for African American causes like you can donate to stuff like that because you’re still helping even things out. The other thing you can do is you can vote, you can vote. And when I say this isn’t political, it isn’t, I’m not telling you who to vote for or how to vote. What I am saying is that if somebody is a political candidate, instead of just thinking to yourself, Hey, this person is speaking my talk just to me also think, let me ask a person who’s different from me, how they feel about the candidate I love and let me listen one way or another.

(14:54):
Just like in my house, we all talk about everything. Trust me, me and my husband may not vote exactly the same and we definitely way out, you know, my husband’s Jewish, my Christian values, the fact that he was raised Jewish and we talked through all the pieces just to make sure I’m hearing how my decisions affect the person next to me. And that is not political one way or another you still should vote as you feel is right. But I am also telling you that it gives you an opportunity to make sure you are doing something to help the people next to you. That’s all. That’s all. And then when stuff like this happens, just don’t be quiet about it. I’m not asking you to go into the target and start a fire, but I am asking you to start a fire with your words and say something.

(15:42):
Say something. Because you can only wake up so many times like this before. It’s like what do I do? My brain is literally cycling between like do I need to move to make sure my kids are okay when I tell you to make sure my kids are okay. Like the concern I have is puffing, right? My little one that I adopted, I adopted kids. My little one doesn’t get it. Like when you talk to kids about racism, they are confused. They’re confused. Like they don’t even understand it. And I’m telling you right now, it’s the same way that we preach it in the personal development and business world about how you can do anything. You can do anything, you can do anything, you can do anything. I’m telling you right now that when you are born you’re not like this. So you have to challenge why your brain thinks like this.

(16:35):
And wonder if that thought that dismissive air about when people say that they’re hurt is organic or natural. You know, kids don’t naturally get it. You have to explain it to them. They don’t naturally get it. Just like how you don’t, the idea that you naturally think that you can’t be a successful business owner, it’s not organic. You have to ask yourself, where did that thought come from? You know, and that’s all anyone’s asking is please challenge your thoughts and then select your words. I don’t know. I’m as lost as most people are about what to do. I don’t, I don’t know. And I know that the answer isn’t burning everything down, but I understand why people feel that way. Whether or not it’s okay to act on it. And I understand that if you come to the table and are open to have conversations, right, that they’re not gonna want to burn stuff down if they feel like the conversations can be fruitful and productive.

(17:39):
The problem is they’re not. And I’m just going to end here because I can’t even, I just want to let you know that if you are in a country where you identify yourself as a peaceful protester in the midst of chaos and you’re being told that if looting is occurring, that shooting will occur. You are as much at risk as I am and the biggest thing at risk to all of this is democracy. And if you love being American and you love your rights and you love your freedom and you love all of that, understand that what people are upset about now is that freedom in general and it’s so important that even if you can’t understand right now what people are saying as people of color understand that if they come for us, if they come for me, right, that they can come for you and all it is is a changing of the guard before it looks different and you should be concerned.

(18:45):
You should want words and laws and things put down in the books that protect everybody because today it’s my kids and tomorrow it’s yours and that should be enough for you to speak up. So I tell you right now I want to protest and I tell you I’m afraid I can’t, I can’t. I can’t go out and say anything because I don’t know if they’ll be able to tell the difference because I’m real Brown and I’m real African. I’m really, really dark. I am concerned they can’t tell the difference. If you’re dark, if you’re light, if you speak like this, if you don’t speak like this, if you have money, if you, what can I do? What can I do? So I just asked that if you are even understanding a piece of what I’m saying and you might be a lighter, brighter who follows me, all I asked for you to do is just try, just listen, read some uncomfortable articles, get a little bit uncomfortable from the safety of your home and the safety of your protected skin color and just absorb and read and then talk to your kids.

(19:47):
And tell them, Hey look, if you see something that’s wrong out there, and guys, that’s biblical, that’s biblical. If you see something that is wrong and an injustice, protect your brother. I’m telling you right now, there’s an injustice happening and tell your kids that that’s what they need to do. If you call yourself a Christian, tell them that, Hey, people are hurting and it’s our job to be out there to help them. So I got, it’s a rough day and for those of you guys out there who use your voice boldly and know all the right words to say and are in Minnesota protesting and doing all the things you’re doing, thank you for being so brave. And the people who are alluding lootings not okay, but I understand, I understand. And if I told you that looting is grieving, maybe you’d look at it differently. That’s it. That’s all I got. And if anyone is upset about this, then I understand because guess what? I’m upset too. All right guys, take care of yourself and more than anything, take care of each other. All right. God bless.

(21:00):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• How I am handling the current events around racism,
• Why the reaction of the black community may seem confusing to you, and
• How you can talk to your kids about racism, and
• What you can do about it

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• In addition to using your voice and voting, consider donating to organizations like:
  • Black Lives Matter
  • United Way
  • Big Brothers and Big Sisters
• Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

Pivot or Pause

by Nicole Walters | Mar 31, 2020

Pivot or Pause

Hey friend, I know it’s been awhile and this is quite the time to start our chats back up! The world is a dumpster fire but just because things are chaos out there, doesn’t mean they have to be chaos in here.

In this chat, we’re keeping it real by talking about how the Covid-19 virus may be impacting your family and business and how to handle it. I’m sharing what I’m doing in my house, how it compares to what I’m telling my students, and if you should pivot or pause right now.

The answers don’t change that often and in this episode I’m telling you how to weather this storm.

Thanks for hanging out with me today! I know your time is precious and I am so grateful you’re here week after week. Let me know what you’re doing now and what you have planned for after this storm settles down. Just send me a message on social!

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:49):
Hey friend. Wow. It has been awhile and it is quite the doozy right now. What is happening in the world? I know that’s what you’re probably feeling and thinking like, Oh my gosh, things have just gotten haywire and I figured no better time for us to start chatting again then when there’s plenty to talk about. No, I do want to let you know this is our space to just chat. Keep it simple, keep it calm and not exactly rise to all the chaos that may be around us, whether that chaos is in our business or our family or in the world. But I also want you to know then I am going to keep it real with you. We’re not going to ignore the obvious. So what I want to do today is I want to talk about what’s happening. There is a crazy virus out there that is making everything go bananas and haywire.

(01:43):
And fortunately for a lot of us, it may not be in our home, but it doesn’t mean that we’re not feeling the impact in our life, our routine, in our family. So that’s what I want to do today. I want us to talk about the real deal and talk about how to handle it. I’ll let you know what we’re doing in our own home. And surprisingly enough, it’s not that different than what I’m telling my clients to do. The answers don’t change that often. What you need to do to weather this storm is pretty simple and I’m going to break it all down for you right now. So first things first, do you guys remember the before time, right before COVID times where we wore jeans and real shoes? Do you remember those days where we put on eyeliner and left the house? Today I even challenged myself to just get dressed because I could just get dressed cause I was looking at my kids and saying to myself, why do we even own clothes?

(02:41):
Like can we all just agree that leggings and yoga pants are perfectly acceptable all the time attire? That’s what we’ve come to. But I also want to let you know that it’s not going to be like this forever. I know that people are casually saying out there, as a spirit of reminder, everything will be okay. Everything will be okay, but I want to tell you in a very grounded way, this too will pass. After this we’re going to have to get back to the new normal, whatever that may be, but it’s not going to pass for anytime soon and we know that at least for now, we’re in the house with our family and for some of us were bunked up with friends or we’re by ourselves and we’re trying to figure out what to do in order to weather this time, and a lot of us are turning to social media now.

(03:30):
That’s a great thing because you know that I love that there are content creators. I love that everyone is jumping out there, sharing their messages and really trying to inspire and fill the void of us wondering what to do with ourselves. The only problem is some of that content is great and some of it’s not so great. Some of it actually only adds to the existing anxiety that we have going on right now. Am I right? You feel what I’m saying? Right friend. How many times do I need to be told launch your business today. Now’s your big chance. I told you so. I mean, look, my kid is over here screaming about homeschooling, yelling into a zoom call, running around the house like a maniac. I mean, I’m doing the best I can with what I got and until I can figure out how to manage this house, it feels like a lot to get that additional pressure of all the other things I should be doing with this time.

(04:28):
Friend, we’re the same. Right? I know for a fact that you never lacked for items to put on your to do list. Am I right? Your list already had tons on it. I know that the minute I found out I was going to be on quarantine, I was like time to tackle that closet. You remember that junk drawer? Oh my goodness. Now’s a great time to plant some new hedges around the fence. Yeah, landscaping. That’s where my brain went, so there’s no shortage of stuff I can do and I still manage a multimillion dollar business and I kept my entire team on during this time. We still have work to do. We have clients to serve, we have legacies to build, so there’s no shortage of stuff to do and I really don’t need anyone adding to that list, especially at a time when there’s so much happening in the world that can make you emotionally, feel drained. When you wake up, wondering if what you’re doing is enough to protect your family, to protect your legacy, to protect your business.

(05:23):
You really don’t need one more person in your ear telling you what to do. So I want to give you a different direction. Maybe a little shift in your thinking. Instead of feeling like you need to rebuild or start new, I just want you to decide if you need to pivot or if you need to pause. Because everyone’s telling us that now is the time to reevaluate, change, respond, leverage. But you know what? It’s okay to stay still. Actually, I wanted to let you know that that is sound corporate business strategy. Large organizations like Coca Cola and Microsoft, they’ve weathered economic changes. They’ve weathered political government and global crises. This is not new to them. Coca-Cola didn’t go and change their logo and their product just because a crisis broke out New Zealand, everything stayed the same. It is okay to stay still. Furthermore, you may be in a state of mourning and grieving.

(06:25):
Understand that what we used to know doesn’t exist anymore and we’re never going back to it. Whenever we do get past this thing and we will, we’re going to be entering a new normal. Things are going to be different and it’s okay for you to just want to handle the now and the now may mean prepping the house, getting it together, tackling some of that in home to do list, prepping the kids. My goodness, I don’t know how many of us have a knack for teaching, but we’re all teachers now, so we’re helping get that done. We have a whole new appreciation for lesson planning and for scheduling and for discipline and time management. Man, you teachers are heroes and we appreciate you more than ever. It’s time to prep the business. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re out there and you found yourself jumping into this internet world and you skipped some steps, you’ve heard me say it before, even if you skip the steps, you’re going to have to come back to them and now is as good as time as any to get back to those steps.

(07:28):
Double down, commit to your craft, get better at what you do and tighten up the services you offer, but you don’t have to build something new. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Here’s the deal. If you’re in corporate America, you know if you have a background as a business development consultant like I do, you know that things are changing too rapidly. Not only will trying to keep up with every change and respond to it with your business, make your head spin, but it’s actually bad business practice. You don’t want to make quick moves thinking you’re going to get ahead of things that’s not going to help your business and it’s not going to help your life. ​The best thing that we can all do right now is stay on the platform while everyone else is going on the roller coaster. ​When you see those live broadcast notifications come up and they give you insta-anxiety because you’re saying yourself, one more thing to do.

(08:24):
One more moment. I missed one more curve to get ahead of. Recognize that they can take that rollercoaster and you can opt to stay on the platform. When your kids are running around the house, not managing any schedule that you’ve set. When you’re, they’re wondering where their textbook is and their zoom calls ending. You can choose to stay on the platform. They’ll navigate, they’ll figure it out. You can help and if you miss that call that day, guess what? It’ll be okay. We’re not going to get this hundred percent right. We’re all figuring it out as we go, but recognize that when we emerge from this and we will, you will find out that you’re stronger than you ever knew. One of the places that we draw inspiration, at least in the Walters household. during this whole time, is from battling cancer. When MidTiny got sick, we had to learn to live with the new reality that it was likely going to get worse before it got better.

(09:18):
We also had to adjust, with a mom who loves to schedule, plan and prepare, to having no idea what tomorrow would look like. Would it be a good day where she had a little bit of energy and wanted to go outside or go to the pool? Or would it be a day where an infection showed up out of nowhere and we’d be in the hospital for a week? If it was a chemo day were we going to have side effects or was she going to be up for watching a movie? We didn’t know with cancer what tomorrow was going to bring, but we did know it was going to pass and we did know that when it did things would be different, but that we could handle it and that we would be better for it. One of the tools that we use during that cancer journey was a rating chart.

(10:08):
Every single day we assigned the day a number, one through ten. One was, I feel great and nothing is happening, everything’s perfect, and 10 was the world is a dumpster fire, get me out of here. And every single day we let everyone choose a number. How are you feeling? How are you showing up in the world today? How do you feel about out there in relation to how you feel inside? And what we did was we tried to make sure we structured our day with an intent to lower that number. We wanted to make sure we made choices that would help that number go down and not help that number go up. So if somebody was posting a seven, we would then say, okay, well, you know what? Maybe this isn’t a build the business day. Maybe this isn’t a day where we try to go to the pool. Maybe it’s a day where it’s okay to just take a little easy worry about things inside the house.

(11:01):
Maybe not do nothing but do things that serve us where we are. I recommend using the rating key because in this season when you are in the face of your family every single day, communication is going to be key. Keeping a temperature check on how everyone’s feeling and showing up in the world today is going to really help you get a handle when everything seems to be spinning out of control. I want to let you know that there’s plenty of chaos happening out there and you don’t have to be a part of it. You can choose to step back, dive into your family and just focus on what helps you all grow. That is enough. You are enough and whatever it is you decide to do in this season, you will come out of this better than when you started. Lean in, support your family, make the choices that help you today where you are. Now on an upside because I always like to end with a little bit of a silver lining.

(12:01):
I would love to build up a list of ideas on what it is we’re going to do. When this whole thing wraps up. I have a feeling that we’re probably going to have a lot of summer left, so I want to know, tweet me, tag me on Instagram, I want to know the first thing that you’re going to do when this whole thing blows over. Is your family going to go to a favorite restaurant? Tell me which one it is. Are you going to go to the mall and peruse and browse and see what’s been restocked? Are you going to the movies to catch something that you’d missed? Give me ideas. I cannot wait to hear them. Tweet me, tag me, send them my way. Thank you so much for taking the time to always come back and spend time with me here and this is really valuable to me and I’m grateful for you. If you want to connect more, of course you can find me on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. And if we’re going to work together to maybe pivot the business cause this isn’t your season to pause, I’d love to help you stay aligned with your legacy and continue to profit sustainably. Head to NicoleWalters.com and learn more. We’ll chat soon, friend.

(13:06):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to stay on the platform when everyone is riding the rollercoaster,
• If you should pivot or pause right now,
• What I am doing in my family and business during this time, and
• How to weather this storm

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

New Year, New You?!

by Nicole Walters | Dec 31, 2019

New Year, New You?!

I don’t know about you, but I’m over it already! New year, new you, new decade, new vision board, goal planning, journals, everything. Listen, I want to let you know that December 31st ain’t that different from January 1st! It’s all about the attitude and mindset that you want to bring into it and in this episode, I am walking you through how I’m actually getting ready for the new year.

My goal is to shift your thinking away from feeling like you’re something that needs fixed with a resolution and recognizing that you are already complete and ready to take on 2020!

Thanks for hanging out with me today friend! I love hearing your thoughts on these episodes so keep sharing with me on instagram or even send me an email at [email protected]! Talk to you soon.

00:00 Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

00:49 Hey friend, so it’s been a little while since we’ve chatted, but I couldn’t imagine letting this year, 2019, or this decade go by without checking in one final time. Now it’s so easy for us to get caught up in things like New Year’s resolution, starting fresh, new year, new me and all the hashtags that we are seeing float around on Instagram. But instead of goal planning and restructuring, doing things all over again and starting fresh, I wanted to share a different approach and hopefully you’ll be interested. I dunno about you friend, but I feel like this year just flew by. It was like in a blink of an eye, it was all done. Can you believe that? Just in January one year ago we started having these chats. That’s right. It’s only been a year and it’s gone so, so fast. The kids are growing older. We’ve accomplished things that we never thought we’d accomplish.

01:56 Life has thrown us curve balls that we never expected and of course there’s the mile long to do list that we didn’t quite make it through. These are some of the things that I want to talk to you about. I want to talk to you about the fact that you may be looking at this year and saying to yourself that it wasn’t enough, that you weren’t enough, that there was more to be done, better work to be accomplished and that 2020 can’t be the same. So I want to shift away. I want to shift away from what everyone else does and you know exactly what I’m talking about, when they say, Hey, this year I’m going to be this person or I’m going to make a resolution to change this thing about myself and I’m going to modify this and change this and accomplish this and hit this goal more and more and more cause I’m less, less, less.

02:53 Well, I want to tell you right now, I’m not buying that, not for you friend. I want you to understand that there is nothing about you that needs fixing. You’re a complete person and anything that you bring to this world, anything you do or accomplish is just an enhancement upon what’s already there. And that is the attitude, spirit, and energy that I want you to bring into this new decade. Instead of approaching things as if you’ve got more to do and you’ve got to repair something and be better, start approaching it from the standpoint that you have a gift to bring to this world and that you are just looking to align closer to using that gift, well, to serve others. That’s what God’s called us to do. That’s all we’re here to do, is to help each other become our best selves. That’s our relationship, right?

03:45 You make me better and hopefully I make you a little better too. And that’s exactly what I want to focus on. So yeah, sure. Pull out the journal, make a list of goals. I’ll even tell you in just a little bit how I plan on getting ready for the new decade, but I also want to let you know that if you don’t crush every single one of those goals, but you still manage to show up every single day, that you did a lot and there’s something to be proud of. And if you aren’t able to be all the things to all the people all the time, well that’s okay because you still showed up for your family, for your community, for yourself and the world that counts for something. When you’re looking back on 2019, when you’re looking back on this whole decade, because I mean, gosh, it’s crazy when they do the countdowns that are just one year, but it’s even crazier when they’re doing a 10 year countdown. When you look back on all of that, I want you to understand that this has been big for you. I look back on my 2019 and I’m like, Oh my gosh, you know, we beat cancer in our household. If that was the only thing that we done this year, we did it all.

04:58 When I look back on this decade, this is the decade where I moved from Maryland to Atlanta, Georgia, where I became married to the most amazing man in the world, and I became mama to three beautiful babies and there’s something I want to call out here. Those three things. Oh, and I started a business. I started a business and a podcast and we met for the very first time. These are big things you guys and I just want to call out. When I look back on those things, if you’d ask me back at the very beginning of the year 2000 if I’d even thought for a moment that I’d be spending the next two decades doing things like that, getting married and having babies and starting a business and doing all sorts of crazy things, I never would have been able to add that to my goal list. Never, and so that’s what I want to remind you. That’s what I want to call out. You can make vision boards and goal lists and honestly it’s fun to do, but at the end of the day, the most important thing is just showing up because if you’re showing up, great things are going to happen.

06:12 If you’re giving it your all great things are going to happen. If you’re trying to align and use the gifts that God has given you to show up every single day in service of others, great things are going to happen and the best things that are going to happen won’t even make it to your vision board because you won’t even expect it. You won’t even know what’s to come. Now let’s talk about how we prepare. Here’s what I can tell you because I know myself and because I know how life shapes up and because I’ve really gotten used to letting go and wanting what God wants for me and not necessarily what I want for me, right? His will be done. I’ve learned that I can kind of loosely plan, I can kind of make a map and outline and that’s good enough. And that’s what I’ve started focusing on.

06:57 So here’s how I prepare for the year. I divide my life up into five simple categories: faith, family, finances, fitness and fun. That’s it. Faith, family, finances, fitness and fun. And in each of those five categories, I write three simple goals. So here’s a simple one for you guys, for family back in 2018 one of my goals was to be able to take off every single Friday so that I could spend that time with my family. I just wanted to be available. So whatever that meant needed to happen in the business, whatever that meant would need to happen in terms of timing and financing and planning. That was something I was committing to do in 2019 so that I could do that for the family and the way that worked out well. Was I able to take off every Friday? Nope, because in real life things happen, but I definitely was able to take off more Fridays than I wasn’t and I got closer to the goal and in 2020 it’s certainly looking like Fridays off for the family is going to be a real thing and I’m super excited about it because again, that was one of my simple goals that I wanted to happen and I’m thrilled that I’m actually going to be able to do it.

08:27 But the intentionality of writing it down and making it plain was the very first step to actually seeing that happen in my life. Now, I want to let you know that again, even though I’m writing down three simple goals in each of these five categories, I’m also leaving room for life to happen because you know what? I want everything that God has planned for me. I want all the fun. I even love that life throws me the occasional surprise curve ball because you know what? It keeps it exciting and above all else, those things are the things that really transform lives and I want you to be open to that. I want you to know that, yes, we want to hit our goals on our vision board. Yes, we want to make use of that journal, but if come February 1st things look a little different than we planned, but we’re heading in the general direction that we want our life to be in then things are going great.

09:19 No beating yourself up about resolutions. No beating yourself up because he didn’t use that gym membership the way you thought you would. Just redirect. Maybe it’s just time to sign up for a yoga class or maybe it’s just time to use those new sneakers to walk around the block every single day for 30 minutes after dinner. That’s still a way of accomplishing your goals, hitting the mark and making progress forward. So that brings us to the end of this chat. I want you to know that with everybody saying to you, new year new you, let’s make the most of this decade. Let’s go be more vision plan, right? Use this journal, do all of these things with all of these pressures being pushed towards you. I just want to remind you the general tone of our chats that we’ve had all year. Let’s just try to be our best.

10:12 Let’s just try to focus on living our legacy. Let’s just try to connect with our families, our community and ourselves because ultimately at the end of the day or at the end of the decade, that’s all that matters is that you are using your best gifts to serve others. I am so excited for what 2020 is going to bring and I want you to know right now that I am standing in agreement with you that this is going to be the best yet that this is going to be a transformative year, that it’s going to be a time where you are going to realize things that are going to move you forward. Whether it is overcoming struggles or powering through things and surviving in a way that gives you the energy force and belief to know that you are able to do it. I know that this year for you is going to be a year of testimony where you’re going to be able to go back and say to yourself, I did it.

11:17 I did it. My child overcame cancer, my business grew, my bank account is better. I made choices that I am proud of. I made it through 2020 is going to bring clarity to you and I’m so excited to see it and I want to let you know, don’t forget these words. I believe in you and you can believe in yourself too. It is possible. All things are possible. Make sure that you keep me posted. I care about our chats, I care about our time that we spend together and I care about you. Drop me a note on Instagram. I love to hear from you. Email me [email protected] and I’m excited to share that in 2020 I’m going to have even more ways for us to connect in person and maybe in your own home. I know plot twist. I can’t wait to see you in 2020 you’ll learn more soon.

12:25 Here’s to being our best selves and living our legacy. Happy new year. Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why you don’t need to focus on recreating yourself for 2020,
• What I’m actually doing to get ready for the New Year, and
• How I set simple goals based around 5 categories

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Write a quick review for the show on Apple here!
• Don’t miss the previous episode – Episode 37: I got into a fight.

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!