A TV Show?!

by Nicole Walters | Jan 26, 2021

A TV Show?!

If you’ve been following me on social media for any time you know there have been a lot of cameras around here, a lot! We signed a TV show deal with NBC universal and USA network and we’re talking about the ins and outs of that decision in this episode!

First things first, nothing is changing around here! You’ll get to watch the funny hijinks my family gets into each week but I’ll still be showing up on the podcast weekly, on social media, and you can still work with me at InheritLearning.com!

I am so excited (and nervous!) about this and can’t wait to hear what you all think when the show premiers this year! I’ll share the exact premier date here on the show and on social, so stay tuned!

Thanks for hanging with me today. I am so grateful for you, for sticking with me and my family, and cheering us on through all the things. Keep me updated on YOU by sending me a DM, a tweet, or an email at info@nicolewalters.com. Talk soon!

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey friend. So I am super excited to chat with you about this episode, because as you may have noticed from social media, Instagram, all the different things, we have had a lot of cameras around this house. A lot of them! And you’ve already been on the journey. If you’re an internet, auntie who’s been following along for, I don’t know, seven, eight years on social media. You know what the Walter’s are all about. You saw me quit my corporate job live online in front of 10,000 people. You saw me launch Inherit Learning Company, my multi-million dollar business education firm based here in Atlanta. And you saw me become a mom to three beautiful girls. And it’s been quite the journey. We are super excited to have signed a deal with NBC universal and USA network to bring our family to the number one cable channel in the United States.

(01:46):
You’re going to be able to watch the Walters and my business every single week on a show called She’s the Boss. I’m super proud because I am the first black female lead character in all of USA history. So it’s a major milestone and I’m even more excited because you get to watch our family and everything that goes on. So a lot of the stuff that we talk about here, you’re going to get to watch and laugh about on your own screen. So all those friends of yours who you’ve been saying like, Oh my gosh, that Nicole is crazy. Oh, that Eddie is a wild one. These kids are the cutest. Well, if they never got around to following me on social, all you have to do is send them the episode. And they’re going to watch.

(02:29):
Now, for some of you who’ve been tuning in for a while, you saw that we did a sneak peak premiere on Christmas Eve, where you were able to watch the very first episode, but don’t worry if you missed it, we’re going to be coming to the air super soon, this year in 2021. And every single week, we’re going to have a fun 30 minute episode where you’ll see the crazy hi-jinks we get into. And you know already parenting is not easy, but parenting while running a business and parenting while having a crazy assistant like Eddie, it’s hilarious. And there are so many funny things that are captured just for you to see. Now while I’m really excited about the show. I also want to let you know, ain’t nothing changing around here. I’m definitely still going to connect with you live on social media. I’m still going to be connecting with you here weekly in our podcast chat.

(03:19):
And of course you can hit me up on social media, slide into my DMs or send me a tweet. I love to hear from you. None of that’s going to change and the business offerings for those of you guys who were saying that you have something on your heart that you want to build. That’s not changing either. You can head over to InheritLearning.com and sign up, take a quiz, take an assessment. We have an assessment that helps you figure out where you need to start. What’s your best idea and how we can work together. So I just want you to know that no matter what’s happening, Nicole, isn’t going Hollywood. I’m going to be the same old girl, not wearing a bra, wearing my bonnet and keeping it real. You’ll be more likely to bump into me at a target than a fancy schmancy store and everything is going to be the same old, same old.

(04:03):
So if you’re not changing on me, don’t worry, I’m not changing on you. But I do want to talk to you about some of the weird things that happened during filming. So I know that so many people think that having a TV show is just about the coolest thing that could happen to you and I’m not going to minimize it. It is a rare, one of a kind incredible experience. I never in a million years would have thought that we’d have a TV show. And I definitely didn’t think it would cover my business and my kids because both of those things just happened in the past six years. So it’s a shocker, right? But it’s all pretty accurate to as wild as our life is, haha. We have moments all the time, It’s actually become a phrase in our house, where we always say, this is exactly why we can’t have a TV show because our family does something just impossible.

(04:53):
Whether it’s Eddie coming down this year through his own theme songs or the hubbin having a crazy one liner or the Puffin, having something clever to say, I mean, we just, we have a really funny family. So all the things that you’ve seen and loved on social media, it’s the same thing. Just 30 minutes of it. So get ready to hold your belly and feel your cheeks get tight because there’s going to be a lot of laughter there. But when it comes to actually filming a show, I got to tell you, it tested me. I wish I could say that it was easy for me to invite a bunch of cameras into my house to film my family. But it wasn’t. I thought it would be easy because I did so much social media because I’m so comfortable talking with you guys and sharing with you guys and seeing my ugly mess with you guys, right?

(05:37):
It just feels normal. We’re friends. We have a relationship, right? But something about knowing that someone else was on the other side of the camera controlling what they were filming and what they weren’t filming, knowing that editing happens without me being involved. And that pretty much anything could end up on air, it maybe a little nervous. And not just for me, because as you guys know, I try to be the imperfect, right. And Lord knows I’m a work in progress, but I just try to be a person who does what they say they will do. So what you see is what you get is what I always aim for. Am I perfect about it? No, but you better believe it’s what I try for. And my kids were the thing that had me the most protective. I just really was very worried. And I think internet aunties, like leaning in, right.

(06:24):
I’m sure that you think the same thing too, right? Like honestly, we’re on the same. It’s basically we’re having the same conversation here. My biggest concern was the kids. I was so worried that they would lose sight of themselves or that they would have moments on camera that are not appropriate or that they’d look back on and be embarrassed about, or that they would lose anonymity because you know how, especially with social media being so accessible and every kid wanting to be an influencer, that they would just lose sight of like their, their real goals, you know, and get caught up in the social media world. I was just, I was so terrified about that. So I just want to let you know, I, you know, I want to talk candidly here about kind of how we approached it and why we decided we would even do this whole thing.

(07:07):
So the first thing was it wasn’t a weird decision for us to decide to do, to begin with mostly because we’re already sharing so much of our story. It actually was a little easier because I create so much content on social. And my business is so busy that it’s a little easier to just have someone else man the camera just being completely honest. I’ve never had a YouTube channel because all that editing, I mean, some of these YouTube bloggers, it’s like they’re Steven Spielberg out here. I mean the pyrotechnics editing, I just, I don’t have it in me. I’m old. Okay. I can barely understand tiktok, all these kids waving their arms, shaking their heads. I don’t know what they’re doing. Right. So for me, having somebody say that they were going to come in, create my content, edit it and give me high quality footage.

(07:50):
I mean, it was a dream coming true. The other reason is we’ve seen our family go through so much and do so much in such a short amount of time that I was worried I was missing it. I loved the idea that while I was at the office, there’d be a camera here and I’d be able to watch my kids grow up on screens. So, I mean, truly, I think that was another pleasant benefit of the whole process. And then there’s the deeper things. Our family’s weird. I’m just gonna be really honest. We are the anti-Kardashians. And I don’t say that in a negative way. I just say it like, we’re not glamorous. We’re not fancy. We’re not stunningly gorgeous, wearing fancy pants things. We’re very, very regular and we’re not doing inappropriate things. We’re not cursing a bunch. You know, we’re not fighting.

(08:36):
We’re just really normal. Now does it mean that there isn’t a drama. Absolutely. There’s drama. If you’ve been listening to the past three episodes, you know that we have our fair share and we’ve definitely dealt with a lot of highs and lows and raising kids, it’s never a dull moment. But there’s also a lot of positivity and there’s a lot of laughs and it’s a lot of good, clean, fun. And we wanted to take the opportunity to bring a little bit of that to the TV. I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired of seeing women flipping tables and I’m tired of seeing people fight and cheat and have negative relationships. I want people to know they can interact and just be normal. Our family’s a lot like yours. And I think that that was one of the things that I wanted to show, was that even though God made our family by mushing us all together in the weirdest of ways.

(09:29):
And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, listen to episode one of season one, so you can get caught up, but our family came together in a weird way, but yet we’re just like you guys. And I think that that was one of the things that I definitely wanted to share. That we’re all a lot more alike than we are different. And it’s a real blessing to be able to share that. And then lastly, for those of you guys who know I’m a God girl, so it’s really nice to be able to be a Christian family on camera. But I also say that to say that we’re an imperfect Christian family, underline, bubbles, circle, exclamation mark, right? We are imperfect. And I think one of my joys of being able to showcase that we’re a Christian family on cameras at, you know, we’re a mess. We’re working on ourselves.

(10:17):
We don’t do things perfectly. We are not some flawless family that gets everything right. That is perfectly nice and uses all the right words. We mess up a lot and we are a work in progress. And it’s a beautiful thing to be able to share that and know that we’re granted grace and that we grant each other grace and that we grant ourselves grace. So it’s going to be fun to be able to take this journey. And I’m just so excited to be able to share this with our internet aunties, because so many of you have been around for so long and really seen kind of all the things that have happened. Now in terms of the adjustment internally in our household, a lot hasn’t changed around here. I mean, I will say that, you know, my kids are extremely down to earth. Your nieces are not bothered.

(10:58):
Okay. They are still doing their schoolwork. They’re not giving me any Hollywood, which is awesome. You already know that Eddie, my assistant, my house manager, my fourth child, he was already Hollywood in his head. So this is, is no different to him. He’s still glamorous. He’s still extra. He’s still a lot. And that matches my energy. So the two of us are the same. And then of course the hubbin, well, he has said all he wants to come out of this is for him to be able to get reservations at restaurants where there are no reservations available. So I’ll be taking him to Applebee’s or Red Lobster once a week. And I’m sure he’ll do just fine internet aunties. I’m super, super, super nervous about this journey. I’m freaking out about what you guys are gonna think. You know, when you see this, I don’t think it will be very different than what you see on TV anyways, but just sharing it with your families and knowing that, you know, my, you know, internet nieces and in your house are going to be watching.

(11:55):
It’s just, we’re really, really proud of it, but we just hope that we make you proud, uh, because we wouldn’t be here without you. And we really are into this together. You know, it’s like, it’s one of those things where I’m like, Oh, that’s my friend, you know, like him. So I’m really excited to talk about it and to share about it. And this project has been in the works for four years. Just forgive me for not sharing sooner, friend. I would have told you I had contracts, but literally for four years, we’ve been working on getting the show together. So like, if you remember, I’m just, you know, friend moment, if you remember on Instagram, I was on one of my girls trips with my squad and we were in the car and I got a phone call. And I remember I muted it so that you couldn’t hear what I said, but what I, I was like crying.

(12:40):
And I was like, Oh my gosh, we got the show. That’s what I said. And that was just like a year and a half ago. So it’s been quite the process and it’s been so long coming. But for those of you guys who were saying to yourself that you have dreams or goals or things or projects or anything that you’re working on, just know that slow is normal, it’s normal. And eventually you’ll be able to bring your gifts to the world and hopefully the world will love and appreciate it and be there with you to celebrate. So here we go, we have a show and it’s going to premiere very soon. So just make sure you stay in touch on social. And I will absolutely let you guys know, I’ll also announce it here since this is a weekly show, I’ll be able to talk about it.

(13:29):
Now, I also want to let you know that because we chat here weekly, I don’t think that our chats are suddenly going to become TV show chats. Like I said, I want us to still be real people and talk to each other. So if there are things that you want to talk about, feel free to DM those to me. You don’t have to tweet it if it’s public, but we can talk about it there. If you have any questions about something you saw on the show, I’ll deep dive on that topic here. But what I won’t do is I won’t make it like an insta recap or anything like a show recap sort of thing, I’ll just do it as a bonus episode or something extra that we can chat about separately. I don’t want our friendship to end up being like, Oh, you know, you’re on a TV show and that’s all you ever talk about.

(14:07):
I don’t want it to be like that. Like I want it to be that we’re always chatting here, like normal flipping people. Cause that’s what we are. So that said, I’m really excited. I know you’re excited with me. So I appreciate you. And just let me know what’s going on with you. I know that every week a bunch of you guys come in my DMs and just kind of keep me up to date and we’re talking back and forth, but I really do care. So please, please let me know what’s going on with you. And if it’s longer, or if there’s photos feel free to email that to info@nicolewalters.com. I really truly love to get emails and chat with you guys and all that good stuff. So feel free to send it my way. And that is it.

(14:45):
I hope all is well in your world. This was just like a little update chat and just pray for good things. And no matter what happens with this show, know that I’m still here and I’m grateful that you’re still here. Next week we’re getting back into the good stuff. It’s going to be a deep dive. I’m going to be talking about something that is kind of hard, but not the hardest, it’s about the business. And I’d let you know what it means to cross certain milestones. We hit a new comma milestone in the business, and I want to talk about what that means, what it doesn’t mean and what it’s like to be someone who grew up with literally no money, totally broke, but has financial flexibility now and is working really, really hard to make sure that I am returning that to others and never, ever losing sight of what God has put me on this earth to do, because that is really the priority. Money is just a tool. And that’s what we’re going to be talking about next week. So I can’t wait to chat with you more about it and friend, I can’t wait. All right, sending all my love, have an amazing rest of the week, to all the kids, the family, the dogs, and tell everyone that I love them too. Talk to you soon. Bye.

(15:59):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to Nicole walters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch. So make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration business details and the occasional funny story. And because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again, and make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• How this TV show deal came about (and how long it took!)
• What we considered when deciding if we would go for this,
• How your internet nieces are doing with this, and
• Any behind the scenes changes because of the show

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Head over to InheritLearning.com to take an assessment that will help you figure out where you need to start building or scaling your business and how we can work together!
• Did you miss the last episode on how BigTiny is doing? Listen to it here! 
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

We’re Not Ready

by Nicole Walters | Jan 19, 2021

We’re Not Ready

This one is NOT easy friends. In this episode we’re talking about parenting adult children. You’ve been asking where the BigTiny is and how she is doing and I’ve got an update.

Whether you are an adoptive mom, mom of a blended family, parenting adult children or not, this episode is for you. Lean in friend, let’s chat.

Thanks for being here and let’s connect more on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter – I’m @NicoleWalters. Talk soon friend!

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey friend, I am so excited that we are back to having these chats every week. It’s honestly one of the things I look forward to the most. Now I know that we’ve talked about some tough things, making it through this pandemic, marriage, but this for me is probably the toughest. It’s actually so tough that it’s going to be a huge part of the book that I’m working on. I am finally writing the book and I realized when I was writing this book, that it was everything that I would want to tell my biggest girl, the BigTiny. it’s everything that I want my 21 year old to know as she’s navigating the world and making decisions, growing and learning and loving and making mistakes. If I had to leave this earth, I would want this book by her side day in and day out. And that’s what I’m working on now.

(01:44):
But until the book comes out and friend, it’ll be a couple of months I’m working on it, okay? Haha, but I wanted us to kind of chat about some stuff now because I don’t want to save it all for the book, because I do know that we could probably use some of this now. And I also know that you’re probably wondering, so I’m going to chat about it here. Now you may have noticed in the past couple of years, that BigTiny’s not around as much. She comes home for holidays and we see her once in a while but with the new TV show, that’s coming on USA network called She’s The Boss. We’re really excited about it. She’s not on it. And you’ll notice that in the day to day, it’s just the MidTiny in the Puffin. And there’s a reason for this. And I’ll talk about the reason in depth in the book, but the shorter answer is she was ready.

(02:34):
Now ready is a loaded word, right? I think you guys know that in our twenties, our early twenties, we definitely feel more ready to take on things than we may actually be, but it doesn’t change the fact that we still have to live our life, make our mistakes, get out there and discover. And at 18 while in college, my biggest girl looked me square in the face and said, she’s ready to go. That she’s lived so much of her life being free, being independent, taking care of herself and being an adult that she wanted to get out there and start making more decisions for herself. I’m trying not to get choked up here because that moment when she told me was not the easiest. And again, I’ll talk about that more in detail later in detail, but it was really hard because of a few different reasons.

(03:28):
One, we just started being a family. She’d only been with us for about three years and she’d accomplished so much. She was headed to college. She graduated with amazing grades. We’d built this incredible family. And I honestly started visualizing our family, allowed myself to believe as our family, as a unit. And if you’re an adoptive mom or if you know any adoptive moms, or if you have a blended family or if you are a step-mom or a super auntie or anything like that, I want you to lean in because I think you’ll really understand this, no matter how much you love your kids, when it’s still a pending adoption or you’re still working through paperwork and that stuff takes years, and you’re still figuring things out, your heart, whole heartedly loves your babies, but there’s a part of your head that still has that fear. I can actually feel it now. It’s like a weird anxiety gut feeling. What if things change? What if someone takes them? What if we can’t be together?

(04:42):
And it was around the time that we were getting ready to move to Atlanta and BigTinys in college that I’d finally started letting myself believe whole heartedly, whole body that we’re going to be together forever. Even though I knew mama bear. If anyone tried to take my babies away from them, they would have to fight me, okay? But I really started leaning in and saying, this is it. And it was naive of me. Maybe even a little selfish. I don’t know what I thought, but I know I just saw us as a family and I was so grateful for us to be together that I could never imagine us being apart. But when I look back on it, I’m like, you know, when kids turn 18, they go off to college. They start living on their own. They’re headed out of the nest.

(05:29):
Heck, I did that! I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 and went to college, got an apartment. And I’d never lived back at home after that. Haha. So it’s one of those things where I don’t know where my brain, I still saw her as my little baby, but she was just a baby to me. It was like her growing snuck up on me. So that conversation was hard and she did it the best she could. But I couldn’t imagine that we were moving to Atlanta and leaving a piece of our heart in Maryland still. And it was one of the hardest, most painful, difficult moments of my life. For a short time there I was broken. I started questioning everything about me being a mom to these three girls. Why would she want to leave? Were we not doing a good job? Are we effective parents?

(06:20):
Why would someone want to go out on their own? When I was 18, all I ever wanted was to be able to have a home that could financially take care of me and my parents couldn’t do that. I was actually helping support the household. So I just didn’t understand it and because she was 18 she didn’t have the words to communicate it. But I think it’s one of the first times that I realized it. Wasn’t like our babies came into the home with a clean slate and a fresh start. Naively, yeah again, I’ll use that word. I thought that once we came in and we started living and loving together, that that was it. We’re just writing a whole new story, the Walter’s together. But the truth is we all carried our past experiences, positive, negative, joys, traumas – they all informed every aspect of our time together. And it’s from those places that we make decisions. The BigTiny wanting to step out on her own and give it a shot, following her own plan and figuring out her own path. That was about her, not about me. And it wasn’t about our family. It was about her desire to test her wings. And it happened a little sooner than I anticipated because she had a different past set of experiences and she felt more prepared than most. Now I have to say, and I think most moms can relate to this…

(07:53):
They’re never ready. Haha. No matter what they say, no matter what they think, they’re never all the way ready. They’re never ready. And you know that they’re going to hit bumps, you know, and you just remind yourself that God can take better care of them than you ever could. And you remind yourself that everything you’ve ever taught them is in there somewhere. And they’ll tap into it when they need it. But it’s never easy to hear the phone calls of, “Mom, can we just talk?” or “Mom, can you help me figure this out? Or the fun calls of, “Mom, what’s that recipe for that dish you make?” It’s just a different relationship with time. It got easier, but in the beginning it was so, so hard to not see her every day. And when I say it gets easier, it’s more that I live with. The fact that my biggest baby, my first born, my eldest isn’t in the home.

(08:58):
And I live with the fact that I see her mostly through a screen, you know, and I don’t get to hold her and put my hands on her and make sure she’s okay. Except for the moment when I fly up and check on her and take her to Costco and those type of mom things, but you live with it, but it’s just, it’s not that it gets easier. It just changes. You start realizing this is normal and you start realizing that it’s going to happen with each of them. And I’m just so grateful to have a daughter who is so brave and so strong and so smart and so bold that where other people fly back into the nest and never want to leave. She’s like I’m going to take on the world and whatever it throws at me. And if I make a mistake, I’m going to get back up and I’m going to figure it out.

(09:50):
I’m going to try new things and I’m going to meet new people. And I’m going to tap into the skills that I have in order to get the things that I want. There’s a lot of me that really admires how she’s willing to take on the world. Even if I struggle with the way that she’s approaching it. Oh my gosh. Parenting is not easy. And it’s a constant evolution. So I say this to you internet aunties, those of you who have older kids, some of you I know who are listening are in your twenties and 22s. You may not see a lot of BigTiny around because who would want their twenties filmed, okay? For some of y’all friends, it would be you on tables with solo cups, tell the truth. You weren’t always saved. Okay? Haha.

(10:42):
But the truth is she deserves that space. She deserves that privacy. She has a right to assert the boundary of wanting to be her own person. And I’m excited that I get to support her in that. I’m excited that I get to grow as a mom with her, a mom of an older baby. And if there’s anything that I’ve learned more than anything else, it’s that I just need to honor the first thing that I always said to them. The moment that we met on the side of that street in Baltimore, up until now that no matter what happens, no matter what comes their way, I’m never leaving their side. For my prayerful mamas out there, or the internet Aunties filled with love, cover me, cover her and cover your cuties, cherish them while they’re home, but know that no matter what you’re doing great, and they’ll be just fine.

(11:44):
This was not an easy chat for me to have, but someday I’ll be able to talk about my baby without tearing up. I just miss her so much. And I’m glad that you were able to chat with me about it. And I’m hoping that for my moms out there that are knowing this day’s going to come and maybe need another boost to cherish the moments that are in front of you or my mommas going through that empty nest thing right now. I’m hoping this speaks to your heart and that you know, that you are so loved and so appreciated, and your babies love you, even if they don’t always show it. Okay? Haha. I’m really excited to chat with you next week because there’s a lot happening around here. And I can’t wait to dive in and let you know a little bit about what it’s been like having cameras in the house. And of course all the craziness that’s going on with the show and how you’ll be able to see a whole new side of the Walters coming to a TV near you. So tune in for some exclusives, it’s going to be good. And I can’t wait to chat with you about it. Friend, thank you for spending this time with me. You were so loved.

(12:49):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to Nicole walters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch. So make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration business details and the occasional funny story. And because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again, and make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• One of the hardest moments of being a mom of an adult child,
• Why the BigTiny was ready to move out and grow up,
• How I’ve grown as a mama parenting three girls, and
• Why this conversation is tough for me

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Did you miss the last episode on how the pandemic has effected my marriage? Listen to it here! 
• Join the RichFriend email list by going to NicoleWalters.com and adding your email address!
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

All That Glitters

by Nicole Walters | Jan 12, 2021

All That Glitters

If there is one thing I’ve learned from living through a pandemic it’s that just because it glitters, doesn’t mean it’s gold. Yep, I’ve got work to do on myself and in my marriage. In this episode I’m sharing what I realized I needed to work on and what I did about it.

Friend, there’s an answer and a solution to everything. And we can do hard things! What have you learned anything about your marriage or close relationships over the past year? Let me know on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter – I’m @NicoleWalters everywhere!

Thanks for spending time with me today. I love chatting with you each week!

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey friend, what a year this week has been. I am wondering when it’s finally going to ease up. It’s very clear that even though we can cross a new milestone of a new year, that the work can keep on coming, I’m still tired, but I’m glad that we have this time here today to chat and I’m just going to get right into it. Like I said on our last chat, it’s been crazy being locked in with the family for a year. Now you already know I’m used to being on the road. And I actually had to admit and learn something about myself, as much as I love my family, and as much as I love being home and cooking and creating those memories, I’m the type of mom that does a little better if I get some alone space. And I know that may be hard to say out loud, especially if you’re thinking, yeah, me too, but it’s true.

(01:41):
And I know it’s not a popular opinion to say that you’re a mom that sometimes wants to be away from your kids and your husband, but it’s true. Whether it’s locking myself in the closet for a few minutes or sitting in the car outside of target and watching a show, I just need that space, that space to be nobody’s anything. And this pandemic did not give me that. And where I saw the most was in my marriage. Parenting is tough stuff, but I chose it. You know we adopted our three girls a couple of years ago and I’ve just been leaning in and making mistakes as I go. And I almost feel like because I’m a newish mom that I grant myself a little bit more grace when I make mistakes, because heck I’m new to this, right? But I’ve been doing this married thing for a while now, almost 11 years.

(02:35):
And I don’t know about you, but friend, it’s not easy. I don’t talk about my marriage very often, very loudly. And the reason why is because I don’t ever want to be anyone’s example of #relationshipgoals. It is so much pressure. And of course, I also don’t want my marriage to be public conversation, but I also recognize that as friends and as people who check in with each other, I know you’re probably going through some stuff too. And I don’t mean that, you know, you’re having big, huge issues and maybe you are, but I just mean that there are ups and downs. That this pandemic hasn’t been easy, that you’re discovering and learning new things about your partner and the person that you live with and probably yourself. And I just want to let you know that you’re not alone in that. Me too. There are things that I’ve swept under the rug for years.

(03:34):
Things that I never realized were actual issues for me, things that dated back to me being a kid. And if it wasn’t for this pandemic, it would have been a lot easier to just run, hop on a flight and ignore them and come back when it was all better, but I’ve had the time to handle them. And I want to talk to you about what it looks like. So you may or may not know this, but me and the hubbin come from really different backgrounds. I grew up the child of immigrants in Washington, DC. My parents didn’t have much. They met each other here in the States. My mom was pretty young. She met my dad when she was in her twenties, early. And my dad was a little older than her. I think he was maybe 10 years older or so. And my mom was young and in love and excited.

(04:22):
And my dad, you know, a little bit more mature, kind of knew he was getting into, but my mom’s hot. She’s a gorgeous one. So I totally understand why he was like, I’m going to lock this down and marry her fast. And they did get married. And they had me a few years later. And I’m going to be honest with you, I didn’t grow up in a household where I saw conventional displays of love. There weren’t a lot of hugs. There weren’t a lot of kisses there. Weren’t a lot of I love you’s and there wasn’t a lot of affection. There was a lot of obligation, a lot of duty, a lot of loyalty. And I say all this to say that I think that all of those things can be versions of love, but I’ve also learned that love is all of those things.

(05:07):
Not some, not one, not most. All. And that’s one of the things that I realized was occurring in my own marriage. I naturally default to duty, obligation, loyalty, responsibility, checklist things. The way that I choose to love is to care for people, by making sure that all their needs are met. And I like to have fun and I like to laugh, but when it comes down to the romantic mushy gushy, you know, hugging, kissing thing, it’s not my nature. I actually have to be intentional in making sure that I am affectionate. Well, all of that would have been good and great if I married someone who was just like me. But friend, look at your partner, you know, good and well, we never do that.

(05:59):
God gives us what we need and not what we want. Am I right? And I’m so grateful about it because I’m learning all the things that I needed to have my whole life. And I’m so grateful that it’s pushing me because it also helps me become the mom that I want to be too. And I married a hugger. I married the child of a Jewish mother, affectionate, emotional, lots of therapy. He grew up in a background where they are extremely lovey and, uh, are very into displays of that affection, traditional ones. And what’s interesting is it’s natural for me when I travel a lot, when I come home and I’ll be like, Oh, Hey hubby. And, and have a little bit more of that fire. But when I’m seeing you day in and day out, and the number one question is, so are we showering today?

(06:49):
Haha, are we getting out of sweats? What do you want to order from UberEats? When that becomes a conversation, you’ve got to get really intentional about what it’s going to look like in the future. So here’s what happened. We started arguing a lot. And when I say we started arguing, I mean, it was about stupid things. Like what are we going to watch for TV? And are you coming to the office to work today? Or I remember at one point waking up in the bedroom, I’m a sleeper-inner. He’s an early riser. So I’m in the bedroom and he came in and turned off the white noise machine and was like, Hey baby. And I was like, I’m still doing my alone time. Haha!

(07:33):
And I gotta tell you, I don’t know if it’s just because of the pandemic, but it felt, right? Felt, doesn’t mean it was a fact, but it felt like he was encroaching on my personal space. Right. And it’s the silliest thing. Now when I look back on it, but at the time I realized that I really needed to work on one, my communication around my emotions, my personal space and my boundaries, and two making sure that I’m granting grace when we’re going through a difficult time. Now I know that’s loaded. Right. But friend, I’m telling you if you’ve been struggling with this, if you’ve been saying, man, it feels like everything about my partner is just, why do you cough like that? Even if it’s not irritating you, you’re noticing it. Right. Do you always choose that loud? I mean, why do you chew that loud though?

(08:24):
Is it good? Is it a good meal though? That’s my question. Is it good? Haha! There’s nothing like spending 24/7 in a small space around someone to realize, Oh my gosh, wow, showers should not be elective. Right? And it just brings up whole new things. You, you learn, man, how do I communicate when I have boundaries or I need space? How do I communicate in a way to make sure that I’m considerate of the fact that my partner, you know, may want connection at a time that I’m not seeking connection or may need their own space or maybe offended or hurt or emotionally triggered when I ask for boundaries, I mean, they’re just loaded. And so I say all of this to say that I read a book because one of the things that I always want to remind you, friend, that I’ve had to learn is that there’s always an answer out there.

(09:14):

It’s just about whether or not you have the willingness and enthusiasm to seek it and you can solve any problem. You are so capable, especially if you are a mom, if you are a woman, if you are a minority, if you are someone who has survived this pandemic, you are capable of using your tools and resources to solve problems. And so I say that to say to you, I got a book and the book is called ​Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud​. I know some of you guys are like, I didn’t write that down, Nicole, say it again. I get you friend. I know how you are. I’m going to say it one more time. You won’t forget, ​Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud​. And this book is a game changer. I realized that a lot of the reason why I struggled with communicating the space that I needed, especially as I learned and discovered that about myself during this time at home, was that I realized it made me sad.

(10:11):
I felt bad. And I felt like I was being mean if I asserted my boundaries and that’s just my personal response. So it’s for some of us it’s that we don’t even know what a boundary is. We aren’t aware that we have agency or our own right to be able to say, “Look, this is something that I need in order to be my best self. And I’d like your help in creating it. And if I can’t get your help in creating it, I’m still going to create it for myself because it’s a need that I must have.” And I tell you, depending on the home that you grew up in, this may be something that’s regularly affirmed and never an issue for you. But if you grew up in a home where it seems like people were always asking a lot of you and expecting it to just show up or always having a moving goal post, if you accomplish one thing, they’re pushing the goalpost further and expecting you to do this and not in a healthy way, but in a, “it’s never good enough” type of way, where if you live in a community or around a bunch of other moms who seem like they’re always reaching for the distance, but wanting to know what’s going on with you and comparisonitis is what’s going on.

(11:17):
I got to tell you, you may need to work on your boundaries and boundaries are something that when you really start working on them, you find that you don’t just need them with your mate, you need them with your kids. They’ve got to know what’s okay and what’s not okay. What does mom need to be our best mom? And what doesn’t she? And you also need boundaries with yourself. I had to say to myself, how much is really a reasonable amount for Amazon packages to come to my house?

(11:49):
How many times do I really need to go to the fridge to get ice cream? In one day I had to set healthy boundaries. But boundaries also look like me saying, “Look in 2021, for my business, I’m leaving the office by 3:00 PM on Fridays” Without question, I cannot work every single day for 12 to 15 hours and not take a chance to leave a little early one day of the week to catch my kiddos. I’m telling you boundaries can change your life. And if you found yourself during this pandemic, looking at your partner with a side stink-eye or saying to yourself, “I just really need space from all of this.” The answer may not be that you need to exchange for a new family. It may mean that you need to do a little inside work on setting up healthy limits so that that way your family respects who you are and what you are to them.

(12:46):
And that you can grow closer than ever. Friend, I’m so glad that we’re able to have these honest talks here. I’m so thankful that you give me the space to be able to share my ugly inner bits and things that are little imperfect with you as that you know, that everything that you see online, it may glitter, but it’s not all gold. I love my husband. And he’s a great, hilarious, (don’t tell him I told you that, haha) guy and we are so blessed to have the marriage and family that we have, but day in and day out, it’s hard work. And without a doubt, I’m proud to say that I’m committed to doing that work. And so every single day that we continue to show up online, it’s a day that we are choosing to be together and we’ll keep doing that for as long as we are willing to do the work.

(13:35):
And I just want to let you know that friend to friend, I’m proud of you for leaning in and doing the work with your partner, with your family and with yourself. Now, next week, we are going to talk about something a little bit tougher. I didn’t jump in and make it my, our first chat of the year because, um, it’s hard for me. Being a mom is the thing that I’m probably the most insecure about. And I know that I have my good days. And I know that I have my weaker days and I know that I’ve had great moments. And I know that I’ve missed the mark big time. So next week, we’re going to talk about parenting older kids. We’re going to talk about the BigTiny, my sweet, sweet girl, 21, and trying me every moment. I love her to pieces and we’re going to dive deep. I can’t wait to chat with you about it. Have a great day friend.

(14:37):
Thanks so much for listening friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to Nicole walters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch. So make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration business details and the occasional funny story. And because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again, and make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• What I realized I needed to work on for myself and my marriage, 
• How I dealt with certain issues before the pandemic and what I’m doing about them now,
• The game-changing book I read, and
• Why I believe the hard work is essential and worth it

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Get my book rec – Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud HERE
• Join the RichFriend email list by going to NicoleWalters.com and adding your email address!
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

Survivor’s Guilt

by Nicole Walters | Jan 5, 2021

Survivors Guilt

Friend, how are you? I’m so excited to be back to our regular chats. I want to kick season 2 off with a conversation about survivor’s guilt and well, 2020!

If you’re struggling to share the good that’s happened to you over the last year (I know you’ve had some wins!) then this episode is for you. Let’s chat together and give one another a little hope!

Thanks for spending time with me each week! Let’s chat more on Instagram or Twitter – find me @NicoleWalters. Talk soon friend.

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey friend, how are you doing? How are you feeling in the world today? I know it’s been some time since we’ve chatted and I’m really, really excited to get back to our time together. I know that neither of us could have expected that we’d be resuming our weekly friend chats in a world that looks like this, but one thing, and the thing I really want to talk about today that I think is critically important is that we acknowledge that ​we get to be here​. That it’s just such a privilege that we have this time and the space in this world and even with all the craziness, man, God has really kept us, huh? I think that’s the phrase that I’ve been using to describe what we’re dealing with right now. And the last time we spoke, I did, you know, I think one or two quick chats for us last year, right before this crazy pandemic things started picking up.

(01:54):
And now that we’ve all kind of settled into knowing what we’re dealing with and trying to figure out how to navigate parenting and business and marriage. You know, a lot of us aren’t talking about how our marriages are changing and evolving during this time. I just really want to kind of take a moment, you know, and just, you know, our chats, aren’t very long, they’re just a few minutes, but hopefully it just jogs some thoughts and helps us sort of reflect and maybe have some gratitude. So let’s circle back to what I was saying, which is I, you guys know I’m a God girl, right? So even if you’re not one or if you’re new around here and you’re like, who’s Nicole, and what is this podcast about? I want to let you know, this podcast is just us talking. It’s the two of us sitting down having a moment and just being all the way real about the stuff that may not feel comfortable saying elsewhere or things that we may not talk about even to some of our best girlfriends or the things that as moms, we may not feel we can say out loud or the things that as women, we may not feel comfortable saying in the workplace.

(02:57):
And above all else, it’s just a place to tell funny stories and about everything that you may or may not see online and tell some of the deeper stories, behind our family’s story. So all that said, it’s been such a crazy year beyond most of our wildest imaginations. And I think what I want to talk about now is survivor’s guilt. And it may be a term that you’re familiar with, you know, survivor’s guilt is typically what happens after a major world event, whether it is a natural disaster or a terrorist activity or something that is a shared trauma with a group of people. And I got to tell you that I don’t want to ever minimize what other people have gone through. I certainly haven’t been through a hurricane and I certainly haven’t been through a terrorist event, but there’s a collective trauma that I think we’ve all kind of been through together.

(03:51):
And while I truly hope and pray that you in particular haven’t felt the impacts in ways that are just the worst. You know, so many people have lost lives and family and have empty seats at the table. But even if that is the case, the fact that we’re sitting here right now, having this conversation, whether you’re washing the dishes or working out or going for a walk or in the office, you know, ​we’re here together.​ And I don’t know about you, but it feels a little weird. I don’t know. Am I the only one? Are you like nodding a little? It’s just a little bit weird. Right? And I mean, not weird in a, I’m not happy I’m here or I’m, you know, don’t know what to do with my day. I’ve kind of figured out a new thing. Right? You know, if, if it’s not just sitting on the couch all day, eating cereal, haha.

(04:40):
Which is what I really want to do, it’s getting up and kind of managing the kids and making sure they’re paying attention to school. And, you know, we’ve all learned that, you know, God bless the teachers, but they can’t teach. Right. Like pretty much they’re providing assignments and we have to teach, as parents. Right. So we’ve figured out and navigated a new agenda and structure. But whenever we have like a brief moment to really reflect on it, I know that this is how I feel. And I’m sure you probably relate, I definitely feel weird about sharing some of the good things that have happened. So because it’s been some time since we’ve had a chat, I really wanted to kick this off with, “Oh my gosh, look at all the things that are going on. We’ve got the TV show and I’m working on a book.”

(05:21):
And you know, like I really wanted to share all the things that I’ve managed to work on in 2020. But then I was hit like in my gut. And I, I, I’m certain that you probably feel this too, when you post things online, you know how people say now that when you post certain things, that’s like, watch your tone or this is tone deaf. And all of that, it’s like, I have no problem sharing the good things that have happened, but I don’t even know how I feel about the good things that have happened. Does that make sense? Are you with me? Like so many people have suffered so greatly that it feels like the fact that I’m even able to order food and have it delivered to my house is just such a blessing. And it really has put into perspective how grateful I am for God keeping me in this season.

(06:08):
And I’m not talking about, you know, looking at this year and saying, this is my year. I have prospered. I am thriving. Look, a lot of great things have happened, you know, in context, but let’s be honest. I’m back up to a size large in Spanx y’all. For real, I have put on these pandemic pounds proudly without hesitation, via popcorn and fudge. I’ve got no regrets there. We’ve done this together. We have deepened our friendship together, but there’s the guilt of knowing that you made it in so many people didn’t that some of the things in your life that are pretty stable and consistent like food, or if you still have your job then work, you know, or housing. I mean, things that in the past, we may have had some gratitude for, but now in just a widespread way, we are just so grateful for it.

(07:00):
And I just want to let you know that this is kind of how I’m handling this. So if this is something that you’re feeling where you’re like, I don’t want to share too much out loud, or I don’t want to over celebrate my good or, you know, if you’re already somebody like me who battles things like imposter syndrome or not wanting to be too braggy and, you know, just balancing out humility and ego and all of those millions of feelings. I just want to let you know in 2021, that I found a whole new way to look at it. And you’re going to hear this, you know, throughout our weekly chats, because I’m going to share the good things that are happening. And here’s why, one, we need reminders. All of us, ​we need reminders and we need hope.​ We need to remind each other that God is still out there doing big things in a big way. That he’s consistent and showing up.

(07:55):
We need reminders that people are still getting jobs and getting promotions, that people are still staying in their marriages and making parenting mistakes and recovering from them. We need reminders once in a while that people wear real pants. Listen, girl, if you got a pair of pants and your butt is looking good, go ahead and post that picture on social. Let me double tap that and give it a heart. Okay. I need to know that somebody isn’t just wearing elastic all the time like me, all right. I’m telling you, it’s so tempting in a difficult and trying time for us to try to keep everything quiet, to minimize our wins, to get comfortable in the mediocre. And I want to let you know right now that you need to live out loud, boldly, more than ever before. This isn’t just a year to stack up a bunch of goals and reach for the stars, sure.

(08:51):
There’s nothing wrong with doing that too, but this is a year to give God the glory for the big and the small. If you’re happy that your marriage is hitting an anniversary mark of 20 years, even though you know that so many people experienced loss in this season, shout it out loud. If you’re thrilled that you’re here, the kids have hit milestones. And if you guys don’t know, the MidTiny got a 3.0 GPA in her first semester of college, during a pandemic, at home. That’s right. Mama pride! And I know you’ve got some auntie pride too, right? And you shout it out loud. Part of me really believes that whenever bad things happen and they’re going to happen, life is difficult. It is complex, but it’s consistent. And I want to let you know that when bad things happen, sometimes it’s an opportunity for us to realize that God has always been there in the big and the small, and for us to be able to put into context for the world, that this is another opportunity to look at all the different ways that good showed up and to shout it out loud.

(10:03):
So yes, it hasn’t been easy to be a person who’s found ways to thrive during this collective season of pain, but I’ve done it and you’ve done it. As a matter of fact, you’re doing it right now. You’re taking a moment to connect with a friend. For us to be able to share and to listen and to laugh. And these are all things that you don’t have to do, but you’re taking care of yourself and you deserve it. And it’s really important that despite all the things that are happening outside of the world, that we stay on the platform, that we don’t go on the rollercoaster and that we never ever beat ourselves up about the fact that we’re still winning. Now, we’ve got a full year to take this journey together and I’m so excited about it. I got a lot of big things coming, opportunities for us to connect in whole new ways.

(11:03):
I’m excited about deepening our friendship and learning more about you. You know, that I’m always open to hearing from you on Instagram and Twitter and Social media, slide into my DMs! I love to chat, but I’m also really, really excited because I’m taking this chat in a different direction. Now I’ve used this time to share a lot of stories around what’s happened in entrepreneurship and things of that sort. But this year, I feel like it’s time for our friendship to go to a whole new level, to get a little deeper. I think that now that you’ve seen me in nothing but bonnets and braless and sweatpants for an entire year, I think it’s time we keep it all the way real. So we’re going to talk about the hard stuff. I’m going to talk about my marriage and what we’ve been through over the last year.

(11:54):
We’re still good. Me and the Hubbin are still together, but it hasn’t been easy. We’ve been forced to really spend time together and chat about difficult things. I’m going to dive into that too, right here in our chats. I’m also going to talk about parenting. As you may have noticed on social media, BigTiny, she’s not here with us now. Granted, she turns 22 in the coming year. She’s a big girl, but parenting older kids has been a huge challenge for me. And if you’re a mama who either has older kids, you’re already nodding and knowing what I’m talking about. But if you got little ones, I just want to give you a heads up and a lesson to kind of what I’m learning as I go. And then there’s a little one, my sweet Puffin, your little internet niece. She’s not so little anymore.

(12:48):

She turns 10 this year and we’re noticing some things that are requiring us to be a little bit more hands-on. Nothing too crazy, normal kids stuff, but boy, it is challenging my spirit. I tell you, this pandemic has brought a whole new world and a whole new perspective. And I’m really excited that we have this space here week after week to keep it real, keep it messy, to be a functional hot mess. I really appreciate that you take out the time to chat with me here, whether it’s on the way to work or cooking dinner with the family or with the kids. And I just want to let you know that I really hope that our time together enriches you and helps you grow and helps you grant me a little bit of grace because everything can look really shiny on the internet, but you know what, we’re all just trying to do our very best with what we’ve got. With that said, welcome back. I can’t wait to chat with you more next week. We’re going to dive more into this BigTiny business. I love you friend, have a great rest of the day.

(14:01):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why I’m struggling to celebrate the good,
• What survivor’s guilt is,
• How I’ve been handling all the changes that 2020 brought, and
• What you can expect from our chats moving ahead!

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Join the RichFriend email list by going to NicoleWalters.com and adding your email address!
• Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!

Do not get weary

by Nicole Walters | Jun 9, 2020

Do not get weary

We’ve collected some wins over the last week and you may start hearing people say, “Is it over yet?” and “Why are you still mad?” In this episode I want to have an open and honest conversation about how the Black Lives Matter movement isn’t over and what we’re really after.

We need you to stay in this fight and not grow weary and this conversation will help. Thanks for being here friend. These conversations can be uncomfortable but are worth it. Alright head over to Instagram and share your thoughts with me. Let’s talk about this together.

(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.

(00:50):
Hey everybody. Hey guys. I wanted to come on because a lot of stuff has just happened recently and I wanted to unpack some of the recent news with you to help you internalize it really, really well, and to apply it to your life even better. And to hopefully get ahead of possibly saying some things that you may not want to say that could cause a little bit of confusion or not really help things move in a positive direction. So if this is your first time, thank you so much for jumping on. If you just have five minutes, this will help a lot. And like, I always like to start out. This is an open, honest conversation in a safe place and safe, meaning that the intent here is to know everyone’s intention is forward moving progress and everyone’s intention is to learn. And everyone’s intention is application of the things that we’re learning, not just performative, listening, right?

(01:46):
We actually want to deep down be the person that we say we want to be, right? So here’s what I want to talk about. And it may be a smidge uncomfortable, but I promise you, it’s not going to be the type of uncomfortable that isn’t going to leave you better off. So you may have heard recently, especially if you are one of my lighter brighters right, which is a term I use for anyone who may be Caucasian, white or white presenting. Right? So meaning you’re afforded some of the benefits and perks of being white, even if you’re not. So here’s what we’re going to talk about. You may have heard that the other officers in the George Floyd murder have now been charged and there were three other officers that weren’t charged right away. Uh, the primary officer involved in the crime was charged, you know, not right away, but before these other officers were charged.

(02:35):
So this is just, I’m just explaining just general news, right? Like this is not an opinion. It’s not political. It’s just the news. Right. And furthermore, the original primary officer was also, his charges were upgraded from third degree murder to second degree murder. Right? So that’s the latest and the greatest in terms of the news. And it doesn’t matter how you feel about that portion of it. Right? I want to talk to you about what comes next, because I think that it’s possible. And I’m not saying this is how you feel, but it may be how other people around you feel, that some people are going to think that this is what’s going to make everything stop. And I wanted to come on just before people even start getting on Facebook or being on Facebook arguments or things like that to kind of give you some perspective.

(03:24):
Because it’s very possible, I just want to prepare you as like your friend. I’m just hear me out. It’s very possible that this is not going to be the thing like, um, and I’m going to use the sentence here. Cause you may hear it. I’m not saying it’s what you’ll say, but it may be what you hear other people say or people around you say, “Well, now they got what they want. So why are they still mad?” or “Now they got what they want so why are they still protesting?” or, “They got what they want. So why is this still happening?” And you’re going to hear, you’re going to hear that language just because racism isn’t gone and a hashtag, right? It’s not gone in a thing. You’re going to hear that type of icky language and perspectives and odds are those perspectives are from people who just may not understand some of the things you’ve been working on or some of the things you’ve been reading and diving into.

(04:11):
But the reality is part of why people are so, so upset right now, people meaning black people is because it isn’t about just one isolated incident. It’s about the whole fact that our, that black lives have not been treated well in this country. And they’ve been at risk. So because we have such a long history of basically being like, please pay attention, please pay attention. We swear, this is serious. Can you please just investigate, please take it seriously. Like it’s really, really scary. Like I really need some help and not getting any reaction from it. And sometimes even being told, yeah, you’re making it up. The fact that this one thing has happened, isn’t going to be enough to have people say, Oh, okay, good. Well, I’m glad everyone understands. Like that’s not going to be enough. And furthermore, believe it or not, a lot of black people are going to be scared that even though they’ve been arrested that the justice system’s not going to work to do its complete job, which means really doing a full trial, really doing a thorough investigation, really calling the best witnesses in and making sure that if they’re prosecuted, right.

(05:22):
Even if they’re found guilty, you know, by the full justice system that they’re going to get enough time in jail rather than a Oh right. Well, you met what you meant. You know, like we know where we get it. We did the process. And so I say all this to kind of prepare you to let you know that it isn’t over yet. And it’s really important that if you start one of the things you’re going to start hearing from people who, you know, may have been all about the, like I get this whole black lives matter thing now, but they’re going to be like, is this done yet? Like, they’re just eager to feel. Cause here’s the deal. It’s been uncomfortable for everyone. Right? It’s been overwhelming to let this consume our lives for like the past week. But for black people it’s consumed our lives for our entire lives.

(06:05):
And so for a lot of people, they’re going to look at all of this and say, I cannot not wait to get some air. Right. I cannot wait to get some air. When are we going to get back to posting gym selfies? I didn’t do squats for no reason. I want to post that on Instagram. Right. And you’re going to realize very quickly that it’s not over, it’s not over. And so I know that we all probably want a little breathing space right from this situation. But the problem is that because people weren’t able to breathe and they were killed, this is going to keep going. And so what’s really important. I think what matters most to so many black people that are in your life and that you will see continue to speak up about this and what we’re probably most scared of more than anything, because a lot of us are prepared for this to not even work out in terms of a trial.

(06:57):
A lot of us are prepared for just in case this doesn’t work out. Right. Cause we’ve been here before, but at what I think most of us and I don’t want to speak for all black people, but what I, what I can honestly say, I feel for sure and I’m hoping you hear and understand is that I’m more scared that you’re going to be over it. Oh, I don’t want to get emotional. I don’t want to cry about it, but I’m most scared that you’re going to be over it. And that you’re going to say this was too hard and I don’t want to do this anymore because it’s not my thing. You know? And I just want to let you know that even if you decide that you’re tired of doing this, and even if you decide that like, well, they got what they wanted.

(07:38):
I’m still going to be scared in the car. And I’m still going to be scared. Like when my daughter, so I have an 18 year old daughter that is amazing, right? She’s a firecracker. She beat stage four cancer, she’s a 4.0 student, she is easily one of the most amazing humans I’ve ever met in my life. Like she inspires me and I can’t even believe I get to be her mom and I, my family, my three girls are adopted and I feel so blessed that I was even chosen to like be in their world. And my baby girl, like she always asked me, I thought about his day. She was like, Oh, so I think I want to go walk the dog today. And I’m like, sure. And then I’m like, but make sure you come in at this hour and don’t go further than here and just be really careful.

(08:18):
And if anything seems off, don’t do it. Like I have to give her kind of a paragraph whenever she wants to go out and walk the dog. And those sorts of things won’t change until we know that there’s like stuff in writing in law that says that if anything, like George Floyd happens or that the officers aren’t even going to think to do something like that. So that’s kind of, that’s what we’re actually fighting for. So even though there’ve been a lot of calls to bring the other officers to justice, I really want you to understand that what we’re looking for is actual real world, like paperwork stuff, saying that like, guess what? Another George Floyd won’t happen. What we want is to make sure that there are no more George Floyd’s, not just justice for George Floyd.

(09:05):
Does that make sense friends? I hope so, because I know that there’s going to be an immediate sort of like, can it be over? And because we haven’t gotten paperwork that says like, no, like we are going to make sure that cause you know, I’m not defending officers, but every black person knows that not every cop is a bad cop. Every black person knows that. But what we’re concerned about is that the system is also failing police officers. Can you imagine that? It’s also failing them and we want to make sure they have all the tools to do their job well, so that the aren’t any more George Floyds. Meaning they shouldn’t be out on the street after a 30 hour work shift. If they have had several incidences of showing bad behavior, that needs to be noted and consequences need to be dealt and they need to make sure they can’t go and work other places.

(10:01):
Think about it if you had a police officer that you knew did a lot of things that weren’t right, and that police officer was able to go get a job as a security guard at your kid’s school, how would you feel about that? That’s scary. Right? That’s scary. It’s a scary thing. And we don’t have systems and paperwork to just keep track of those types of things and even better. If you’re someone who is a big, huge, like, you know, I’ve always really supported a lot of police officers and I’m really a big like, you know, law and order type of girl. I want you to understand that you should want these things too, because it will actually help your officers, military people get safer because if your husband or brother is a good cop, you want them to be loved, appreciated, and respected for the work they do.

(10:49):
And it’s very difficult for us to do that because we just like, you can’t tell who’s a, you know, just cause they, like they say, they can’t tell who’s the looter, who’s trouble because of, you know, systemic problems. We, we can’t really tell which cop is a good copper, always scared. Cause you guys the ones with the guns. Right? So knowing that that’s why it’s so important to not let up, because this is also your fight to make sure that your police officers are safe and to make sure that they’re able to, right? And so that’s why we want to make sure this helps everybody. So even though we are thrilled, we meaning all black people everywhere and hopefully you too, right? Hopefully you two are super thrilled to hear that we are going to engage the justice system. I just really want you to understand that it’s not over yet and you may still see people protesting and it’s likely that you’re still going to see hashtags and it’s really, really possible that we’re still going to need you to donate.

(11:48):

And we’re still gonna need you to speak up for your kid on the playground. And we’re still gonna need you whenever you’re having an event or a party or whatever else to invite your black friend, because we want to make sure that you understand that there’s still work ahead. And if you’re a mama of a toddler or have a little one or a mom of kids, I do want you to understand that if you think about it, you’re a mama for a lifetime, right? And if you’ve got a little one, you’ve got 18 years of teaching, 18 years of teaching to make sure that kid grows up into a great adult that understands the importance of seeing everyone’s color and being a helper for people who have dealt with so much oppression for so many years. So there’s work to be done, right?

(12:31):
And I don’t want you to let up. That’s my biggest fear is that I just, I don’t want the fact that we’re bearing our souls and that we’re having these conversations because this news just came out for anybody to back off. So please stick with it with us and keep calling for a fair trial and keep voting for people who are paying attention to policies, right? Not voting party, not voting people, but voting for policy, right? What do these people think, believe and do and is that the direction and the world that I want to live in. Those are the types of things we want to do. So that’s all I wanted to share with you guys. I just wanted to give you guys an opportunity to when you hear this news, come be well equipped to have those conversations because you’re going to be surrounded, especially if you’re a lighter, brighter, or you’re white person, you’re going to be equipped to.

(13:21):
Now, when you hear people around me who may not have spent time doing the work, you’re going to be able to actually say, Hey, Hey, Hey, you know, I know that you’re saying you wish that it was over. And boy, you can’t understand why people are still mad. I want to let you know, they’re mad because it’s not over. And we want to make sure that things have changed all the way, all the way. I am so grateful because I’ve gotten so many messages from so many of you about, you know, trying to increase your understanding and really trying to lean in and trying to hear where people’s hearts are and wanting to learn what to do. And I don’t think we have all of the answers, but you’re doing the work, you’re showing up and you’re getting uncomfortable. And I’m grateful that we get uncomfortable together. Like this, look at us, we got uncomfortable and we all, we made it right. But it wasn’t that bad. Right. See, and we can keep having these conversations and we can still love each other afterwards. All right. So go out, do something, do something, act, make a difference. Today’s a good day. Justice is in motion.

(14:20):
All right, guys. Thank you so much. Bye guys. Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why you may start hearing people ask, “Is it over yet?”
• How to keep yourself from growing weary,
• What really needs to happen for use to feel safe, and
• Why we need you in this fight long term

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• In addition to using your voice and voting, consider donating to organizations like:
  • Black Lives Matter
  • United Way
  • Big Brothers and Big Sisters
• Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
• Write a review for the show on Apple here!

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!

Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.

Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!

Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!