Healing Others & Yourself

Our previous chats have shown me that so many of us are going through a season of starting over, transformation, or change. Healing from what we’ve been through so we can move to the next thing is something my guest knows a lot about. If you haven’t met her before, you are going to be so glad you met her here.

Yasmine Cheyenne is a self-healing advocate, creator of the Sugar Jar Community, and soon-to-be published author with a powerful message around healing others and yourself!

In this chat, Yasmine and I talk about how she helps everyday people heal through her social media posts and work as a whole. She shares how she is healing in the process and the boundaries she has to put up in order to run her business as a business.

Pre-order Yasmine’s book, The Sugar Jar, on Amazon!

Thank you for being here for this chat, friend! Let me know what resonates by tagging me on Instagram @nicolewalters and Yasmine @yasminecheyenne – talk to you there friend!

Nicole:
Hey, friends, I am so excited about this chat because we actually have a friend hanging out with us and you know that I don’t just bring anyone around the besties. This is Yasmine Cheyenne. And I feel like you probably follow her and if you haven’t, you’ve seen her work before. And I’m just so excited for us to connect in a deeper way because the work that she does is incredible.

And I’ll let her do her intro because she’s here and I’m so excited about it. But y’all I’m not kidding when I say this is one for the kids, this is one for the teens, this is one for the mamas, the sisters, all of us we can lean in, because we’re gonna get so much out of this chat. Yasmine, thank you so much for being here today. Girl, I am hype to have everyone meet you.

Yasmine:
Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Nicole:
You’re incredible. So okay, first and foremost, I don’t want to minimize your title, because you really do encompass so much. I mean, you’re truly one of those multi-hyphenates. So just give us a quick, high level because I know we’re gonna dive into all the things that you do for the world.

Yasmine:
Yes, so I’m a self-healing advocate, first and foremost. I have an app, the sugar drop community app, that makes self-healing more accessible every single day. I’m an author. I’m a mom, I’m a friend. But primarily I’m trying to allow people to see that self healing can be easy and something that we can do every day. And it doesn’t have to be a whole routine. You don’t have to change your whole life. It’s just the step by step by step minutes and moments that create that vast change that we’re seeking.

Nicole:

Incredible and necessary because I know this whole season of the Nicole Walters podcast is all about starting over. It’s all about the different ways that we have to approach life because you know, everything you think might be working on away in a pandemic, or hit or a divorce will happen, or a kid will get sick. And, you know, we’ll say to ourselves, we got to start over, but part of starting over is healing. And we know that a lot of times we either avoid healing, or we think it’s too overwhelming. So we won’t take all the steps. And I just love that your space here is really I mean, you even provide little micro healing moments through your Instagram, which is how I found you. So tell us a little bit more about that.

Yasmine:
Yes. So my goal in 2017 was to just share a little bit every single day. And that really wasn’t for everyone else, it was more so for me, it was a commitment, like, I can write everyday, I can do this. And I think also sometimes when your reality doesn’t match your dream, at the time, being an author was the goal, a published author, I’m a writer, but you think, okay, if I deny reality, then I’m not being positive. Like if I’m, I’m looking at the reality that I’m not actually a published author. So I was like, No, regardless, I’m going to write and put my work out there and give people an opportunity to see what my purpose is.

Nicole:
Amazing. Amazing. And that is there. I mean, that’s so loaded with lessons, I think, first and foremost, the thing that I extract from it is that in the very work that you’re doing every single day to heal and accomplish your goals, you actually have healed and helped others. So for those of you guys who aren’t familiar with Yasmine’s work, I mean, if you go to her Instagram, and it’s easy, YasmineCheyenne, and you can just find her there, she puts out every single day, sometimes more than once a day, I guess, based on how you’re inspired various phrases. And I hesitate to even say that they’re quote cards, because they’re not. And some of them are affirmation. Some of them are just like statements of truth that we need to know about ourselves.

And that’s how I came across her was, you know, these well worded everything that I needed to hear, you know, phrase just so much encompassed on a couple of different lines, but it was exactly what I needed when I find them. And it’s, she’s one to follow, because it always seems well timed. And she always has a great word that is applicable in this season. And I find it interesting that you know, this all started from a place of I don’t want to call it healing for yourself. But you know, a commitment. Yeah, a goal, something you needed to do. And what a lesson for all of us.

Yasmine:
Yes, you know, I think it’s so important because everything that I do online is about and all of my business is about serving, period, right? But if I’m not serving myself, and I’m not showing up for myself, then I’m not really giving my fullness to what I’m doing. And I’m also not being honest with myself, because the truth is people think, Oh, she writes every day, this must be easy for her. It’s not easy to write everyday.

Nicole:
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, wait, let’s talk about that for a minute. So, y’all, I know that we could talk all day “about the how do you help people heal?” And what’s your best quote, y’all you know, how we do it? Do we are all friends in a room? Let’s talk about the real stuff. So your job, you know, right? Because you do this full time now, you know, and it’s helping people heal. It’s putting out tools of healing and empowering them to do that, which is incredible and incredible work but it’s a heavy lift. Yes. Now about that heavy lift. I don’t think too often we realize that some of the people who inspire us most are people, humans, with their own stuff. So I want to ask you, what’s it like showing up for so many people? I mean, you have hundreds of 1000 followers? What’s it like showing up for regular people every day in some of our hardest moments, you knowing that you’re experiencing them as well?

Yasmine:
Yeah, you know, the number one thing I always remind myself is, I’m a human. I’m learning, I’m living, I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And although I may have the wisdom and the clarity, and thank goodness, like the alignment to be able to share with other people, and help them transform and get through those changing times. At the same time, I’m going through things that I’m like, What do I do next, right?

And so I think reminding myself that I don’t have to be an expert in this as a recovering perfectionist, I’m reminding myself, this doesn’t have to be perfect. I just need to share what feels true and feels aligned. And that helps me so much because we talked about this but like there’s going to be times where that post is only for the one person that for some reason I was called to write that post for.

Nicole: Yes, yes!

Yasmine:
And I try to remind myself as much as as hard as it is because this is also a business but as well what I’m writing and what I’m sharing is truly for people to be especially the content I share on Instagram, the free content is always going to be there because I’m sharing it for people to be able to have that word that might help them just take that next step because I know I need that.

Nicole:
So, so good. And I hope you guys are hearing like I mean one look at how good she is at this stuff. I mean honestly every sentence you say is a lesson you know and so, so valuable but I think what’s really interesting about what you were sharing there is that all of us in our moments where things are hard and we feel called to be and do and support so many different people in the in the act of showing up if we still stay in alignment care for ourselves grant ourselves grace, remember we’re human, it one gives us the fuel to keep going and to also allows us to know sort of where we supposed to be where we not supposed to be, you know, so do you ever find that you have moments um I love asking this because one might identify you as an influencer of sorts, you know, and I think a lot of us hesitate to use that title. I don’t like using that title for myself. But as somebody who has influence over people’s minds and hearts, do you ever find yourself saying, Hey, this is a no go for me? Like, this is a territory I shouldn’t go into, this isn’t where I should cross?

Yasmine:
Absolutely. I always ask myself the intention of why I’m sharing what I’m sharing. That’s good. I never share anything that feels like oh, it’s for this or it’s for connecting.

Nicole: Or ego!

Yasmine:
Yes ego or anything like that. I also don’t share things that I’m working through. Like if I’m sharing something that I’m working through, it’s because I’ve worked through it.

Nicole:
Yes, share your scars and not just scabs.

Yasmine:
Yes. Right. And so it’s like this thing that I remind myself that, yes, and I agree with you on the influence. So like, I kind of shy away from it because of the connotation tied to it. And also, I have to stand in the truth like that is part of what the world is today.

Nicole:
And that’s what I love about your content in particular. And I think it’s a reason why a lot of my internet besties connect with me here is because we’re truthy, you know what I mean? We’re truthy in the hot mess, we’re truthy in we don’t have it all figured out. And that we’re really just trying our best to balance what we can balance and show up are best. And that’s one of the things I love about your content in general is that it’s not I almost want to say like sickeningly sweet, you know what I mean? It’s, it’s honest, and it’s real. And sometimes it is, it comes down to being as simple as, Hey, girl, it’s hard today, you know, do the best you can, you may not be able to do all of it. But it’s just gonna be hard. You know, I mean, you’re far more eloquent than I am here. Because you are the writer, you are the author. But you know, it really is that now how does that feel to show up in the self help world, this healing world and know that your language and your voice is a little different? Because I think so many of us struggle with, “Well, I want to do this thing, but this is how everyone else does it. Do I have to do it this way, too?”

Yasmine:
Yeah, you know, I think I knew that toxic positivity couldn’t be a part of my community, it just couldn’t. The oneness community is full with so many checklists, do these five things, and it’ll be great or buy this book and then when you get to the end, like your life’s gonna be fixed. I’m here to tell you that you might have many disappointments, and many tragedies and chance transformations and changes that you wish you never had to go through. And I’m just trying to share the tools that will help you navigate when you feel like you don’t know if you can keep going.

Nicole:
Oh, it’s so good. And it’s and you’re right, because especially you know, I’ve shared here about my divorce I’ve shared about, you know, wanting to shut down my business, keeping it up and just being in so many different things. And the thing that I’ve learned is that you’re going to have to start over, you’re gonna have to get through the hard that problems will occur. Life is the meeting and solving of problems. And really what we’re looking for is not some miraculous solution to make problems go away forever. What we’re looking for is someone who can stand by our side as we’re going through them and hold our hand and say, girl, keep going, you’ll be okay. You’ll make it through.

Yasmine:
Yeah, so I think we’re actually searching for the miraculous solution. And then in the search for that we realize that that ain’t it.

Nicole:
I know, listen, listen, that if that isn’t a whole word, because I know that you know, my story, of course, coming from corporate America and being in the business space, I came into this internet space, and I was like, Wait, so everyone can make six figures? Wait, so everyone is a millionaire. I mean, I knew the stats on it. Statistically, it is not possible that everyone is a millionaire.

Yasmine: It just isn’t.

Nicole:
There aren’t that many in America that way. Like it just isn’t possible. Now, it is possible that someone may have made a million dollars over the course of their business. But what is the math on that? You know what I mean? Oh, absolutely, you know, and it’s very possible that someone has a ton of wisdom and a ton of clarity, and a ton of insight that can help you change and transform your life, you should listen to them, you should benefit. But if your situation is one where you have a mental health issue, and you didn’t therapists girl, go see a clinician, you know, with a degree who can prescribe, you know, and getting into this space and knowing that we including myself, are responsible for treading the water of using our platform well, but also honoring sort of our scope of qualifications. You know, while still trying to help the best we can.

It can be tough, you know, and I don’t know about you, but I always have been very clear on I know what I know and I know what I don’t know, absolutely. What ends up in your DMs sometimes, though?

Yasmine:
I mean everything from what medicine should I take, you know, what should I do about my divorce? Should I leave? And I think it’s important to recognize that first of all, I can only answer those questions if you are my client.

Nicole:
Absolutely. First and foremost. Yeah, first and foremost, just good business practice.

Yasmine:
Yeah. But then and also, most of my clients, actually all of my clients see a therapist because I’m not a licensed clinician. 100% and I always make the distinction of you know, when I’m coaching I call it spiritual teaching, but coaching or guiding, I’m helping to reveal the things to you that you may not have happening at therapists office because they have a different role. And also, I’m not going to tell you whether you need to take medication or not like that’s their their role.

Nicole: Absolutely.

Yasmine:
So I think people need to understand that like self healing tools, what I teach is what happens outside the therapist’s office, most people only see their therapists twice a month. That’s right. And that’s like, on the higher end, some people haven’t only afford once once a month.

Nicole:
I’m the twice a week type, but that’s because of how much of a mess I am. And that would be why I need one session a week for everybody else who starts with me, and one session a week for myself.

Yasmine:
I used to be the two times a week too, listen, 2015. But yeah, I definitely recognize that there is these, these tools that we need outside. And it’s like, when you’re not in a therapist’s office, what are we doing when we get that text? What are you doing when you get that phone? What are you doing what your boss tries you?

Nicole:
Well, honestly, it’s about applying the information. It’s kind of like going into your doctor’s office and saying, Hey, I like to lose weight, I like to get healthier. But then afterwards, you need to work with nutritionists, your trainer, and all these different people. And the same thing people don’t realize, I mean, you come from a corporate background as well so you understand, but as a consultant, I say it all the time. Look, my job isn’t to be your accountant, your lawyer, your bookkeeper, my job is to make sure you have all the right people in the right roles, doing the right work. And then making sure you know what needs to be done because you don’t know what you don’t know. And I think that that’s why people sometimes forget that if you are hiring a coach or you’re hiring, you know, a healer or teacher or someone who’s so it’s to support some of the scientific clinical work that you may require, it’s usually not an either or. It’s not a substitute, because you may not want to walk in certain doors, you know, you may need both, sometimes just sitting down in the therapist’s office is not it, you may need to see someone like Yasmine or a coach in order to support you actually executing on the things that you’re hearing in that therapist chair.

Yasmine:
Absolutely. And it’s also a storytelling, you know, a therapist’s office is a non reciprocal relationship, you’re not going to know much that’s good therapy relationship, you’re not going to know anything. And so I’m not sharing my whole life story. But if they have a question, or there’s something that they’re interested in, I’m able to reflect a lot of what I share on social media is a reflection of lessons that I’ve learned and even like in writing my book, choosing to tell my own story, versus telling clients stories and things like that, it was really important for me to share with people that like a lot of what I share is one, the actual educational courses and classes and things that I’ve been through, but also life experience and being on the other side of that, and I think that that’s why I love healing and therapy, because sometimes you go to a therapist, and you think, Oh, this is the expert, they’re not human, they just know everything. And that’s what that relationship is supposed to be so that you get some more data. And then when you see a healer, you get to see kind of the other side of like, okay, they’re helping me.

Nicole:
It’s more dynamic. I always talk about, you’ve got your pastor and your therapist, you know, so your pastor is not going to say, look, some of these things are presenting, as you know, clinical diagnosis of misbehavior, your pastor is going to say, well, what are you doing in your daily life to help support these things through prayer, spiritual practices, whatever, but let’s never confuse one for the other. Yeah, and let’s never think we don’t need one or the other. You know, I personally, for years, tried working out by myself. But when I got a trainer, it changed everything. Because what I found was I was working out incorrectly, I had the desire, I knew the workout that I needed to do, and I was showing up to get it done. But having the support of someone side by side with me to just simply say, in a dynamic relationship, hey, you actually need to straighten your back more, hey, you need to actually squat down even lower. That simple correction actually made the exercises I was doing anyways, have a result.

So absolutely a big deal. So for those you guys who are listening and saying to yourself, I don’t know about therapy, I’m not sure about this, or I’ve been trying I’m not seeing change, maybe the answer is that you work with a coach side by side who can support you, you know, to really help you execute and get that change now, because we’re diving into what you do as a business. Let’s talk about that a little more. Because, you know, my DMs can be crazy with people respond. I love my DMs, like make no mistake for me, it feels like I’m texting with my girls, you know, and I know, it’s such an honor and a privilege, right? That people will say yes, even feel safe to share stuff like that with you. And I, you know, it’s also a reflection of us, right? Because we’re sharing, you know, pretty vulnerably. But, you know, there are some moments where it’s like, I worry about this being a healthy boundary, you know, and what’s safe. And also, there’s an element of running a business because I also don’t like doing business in my DMs because the best way for me to serve you is to not get some bullet points around your finances and your problem. It’s to set aside time. So in your situation, transitioning into making this a business full time, I want to know more about how that’s felt for you. Providing for people in this way. Does it feel easy? Does it feel comfortable? Is it scary? What’s that like?

Yasmine:
So the easiest thing that I do is when I’m serving, when I’m talking, when I’m doing other things. The other part is like, you know, the not hobby stuff, right? Because if you’re in business, it’s like you have to have a P&L, you have to have an account, you have to have your tax, you know, all of those things. And so it’s been very interesting, recognizing that a lot of what I did I told you in corporate and being in the background of corporate and government I did this for other people doing it for myself. There’s so much more emotion attached and just all of those things that I thought and I say this to my clients all the time, every time you think you’ve healed something, it’s probably an indication that it’s going to come back again, like anytime I always think that that’s a little bit of ego, like, Oh, I’m done with that, okay, buckle up.

The recovering perfectionist parts of me, all of those different things begin to present themselves again. Even though I left my job, January 1 2021, I was on the Today Show January 7, 2021, like, things just were aligning and things were going great. There was still this inner critic, part of me that was like you’re not doing enough, is not pushing hard enough. And I think it’s important to say this out loud, because we can sometimes put people that we follow online on this pedestal, massive pedestal, and we think, Oh, she’s sharing this because she has worked it all out, and everything’s perfect. And I am still learning how to be a friend to myself, and talk to myself the way that I would talk to a client, a friend, my children, when it comes to business. So at the same time, I’m also honoring that the boundaries have to be in place. And being a responsible business owner means being honest with myself about what’s really happening and reaching out for those resources and support and all of those different things. So it’s been a really, it’s been a growth experience.

Nicole:
Sure. Isn’t a nice, we’re all growing all the time. No, I mean, you nailed it, because I think sometimes people are afraid to even show vulnerability in certain areas, because we think we have to have it all together everywhere, or else that’s not good enough. So for me, you know, my weight had been a struggle for so many years, as I was working through different solutions for my health, not for cosmetic and appearance reasons, but you know, just to be fitter for my children. And, and for myself, you know, and it was something that I always felt like, Man, if I don’t have a handle on this, how will anyone trust me in business? And, I mean, really learning that like, No, you can be an amazing, transformative, you know, healer, consultant, and coach, and also still have areas of your life where the same things you talk about still present themselves, frankly, it’s part of what makes you good at what you do. Because you know, what it is and how you’re working, you’re working it through, you know, and sometimes it gets scary to feel like you can’t be both things.

Yasmine:
Absolutely. And I’m a New Yorker, right? I’m from Brooklyn. So like, hustle was a part of my DNA. I’m a veteran, a military veteran. So that’s a part of my DNA. And so it’s like no emotion, no struggle, power through. And so actually being vulnerable and sharing my story is like evidence yes, that I am doing the work. I’m doing the work. Because I would have suffered through before.

Nicole:
Absolutely. Yeah. And also felt like, you know, honestly, a point of pride almost, you know, it’s like, I’m getting it done, and it looks clean. Even though inside I’m a little bit torn up. So no, I totally understand. I mean, frankly, that’s why I don’t even want to be on a pedestal. Are y’all listening right now. This is why I show you in my stash my Spanx. My bonnet. Okay, no makeup, I figure if I set that bar good and low. We’ll keep that bar low. The expectation will be I shop at Target, I eat cheese. I will literally go live with crumbs on my face. Y’all have no expectations of me. So that that way, when I look nice, you can talk to me nice.

Yasmine:
That’s true. I spent a few months in my robe. Because I was like, You know what, this is who I am.

Nicole:
This is what we got. You know what I mean? Because if we know it, then we’re not shocked yet emotionally. Because I’m shocked every morning. I’m like, Wow, you look different. No, but this I mean, it’s so true. And I think that, again, a lot of people may look at people with platforms in an aspirational way. And you know, it is an honor, it is a privilege, neither of us are complaining about it. Because we are so blessed to do the work that we’re doing. You know, it’s purposeful. But it also can be difficult, you know, because you are put onto this pedestal, which means that you feel like you have further to fall.

And it’s always my hope that when people are looking at us or listening to us here that they realize that no, truly, we’re all sitting in the same room at the same table. And they’re no different from us, we just may be a couple of steps ahead or done something a little bit different. But at the end of the day, we’re still real, we still are hot messes. We’re still chasing after the kids. We’re so spilling on our clothes, we’re still afraid, you know, all these things are very normal.

Yasmine:

Yeah. Still cussing at the stoplight. Like listen, I definitely have these moments where I’m just like, especially as it comes to social media, reminding myself that like this is just a part of what I do. And I think, you know, until recently, I’ve always had a pretty healthy relationship with social media. But I think even in the like, currently, as we’re recording this, I took a break from social media, just recognizing that it was coming up a little bit too much in my mind. And I think sure, you know, for folks listening, like taking breaks and I think social media breaks even have become a little cliche.

Nicole:
They have, like I’m taking a break, I’m detoxing for a few months, just because it was such a crazy notion that people would do from before but now it’s become this trendy thing where it’s like hi guys so you know, this is just another example of how awesome my business is because I just took three months off and oh girl it’s like the airport right? I mean, if you’re gonna depart just go.

Yasmine:
But like just saying that, you know, when it’s your business, taking a break is very different. And giving myself permission to say like whatever I need to do when I come back I’ll do that and I love sharing and I know people look forward to my posts every morning. And that’s my favorite thing to do. And also, my point here is I had to take care of myself. Yes. Like, I had to see that I needed a break. I needed rest, whether or not I’m still writing every morning. I’m just not sharing it with y’all.

Nicole:
That’s right. Well, no, let’s talk about that part. So, I mean, and this is, I think, a great segue, because one, we can start talking about your book and kind of how that’s a different direction. I’m also writing a book, it’s this What am I sharing? What am I not sharing? You know? So I mean, especially when you are in the healing space, or the self help, aspirational space. I mean, there is this pressure to be profound. And it’s like every single post, sometimes it can feel overwhelming, because it’s like, Man, I got nothing today. I am dry, I have no quotes. I have no inspiration today was just hard. The kid spilled goldfish crackers in the backseat, I’m keeping it together, right? Y’all, y’all aren’t gonna get anything, you know, and I’ve always held sort of a rule of I only speak if I have something to say, you know, and if I don’t, y’all aren’t getting a post today, you all are getting social.

And for the past two years, when I was going through my divorce, you know, in that transition, I really posted, I mean, as frequently as once every two weeks. Yeah. And that goes from going live daily, you know, and there are parts of me that in that grieving process where I should have been all in, I was also guilting, in that process, because I felt like that might leave these people hanging, what’s going on, you know, and you don’t know all my people, but they’re amazing. And literally, like people listening right now, when I finally came back, they were like, girl, why didn’t you just say that you needed to go? We love you, go do your work. Just don’t worry about us, you know? And that’s how people mostly are. But how have you dealt with that? Because there is that pressure with this being your business and knowing that you serve a community, like when you leave, like, I’m gonna leave my people hanging? Like, how does that feel?

Yasmine:
It definitely has felt like that. And I can feel myself like, you know, when I was writing the book, I was still posting every day, and I was writing and it felt good.

Nicole:
But you’re not sharing everything like usual.

Yasmine:
Yeah. And I think recognizing that, whether you’re my friend, my partner and my children, I can only give what I have capacity for. And I love my community. And yet, if I share out of a place of “I have to” that is like the key for resentment, anger, or me to share things that are not really in alignment just for you to have this post. What I share I actually care about sharing what I feel like is good to share. And so I have things to share right now but also I can feel that the my energy is not in it.

Nicole:
Sure. Sure. Sure.

Yasmine:
So pulling back has been a practice of what I preach. If I was coaching me, I would say now, obviously, I understand to nine to five, you don’t get to be like, Oh, my energy’s not good.

Nicole:
Right, right. Right, like this is a job, you need to pay the bills, so you’re gonna need to muster up some energy. Right?

Yasmine:
Got it. And I still have obligations that I have to keep. But social media is an extension of what I do. It is not my actual business. I’m not an actual influencer. And I had to like reframe that.

Nicole:
That’s good. That’s good. This applies everywhere, though, everywhere, like being a mother is one of the things that I do but it isn’t my whole being. Yes. You know, being a consultant is a skill that I have and a blessing I’m able to engage in but it’s not my whole being. And I think when we stop identifying and validating ourselves so heavily with these things, we won’t be as dictated by what they require, whether it’s monetary, or social expectations, or anything visual, like it’s just becomes a lot freer to start saying, Look, if this is just the thing that I do and not who I am, it’s actually okay, if it sits because I don’t need to always do it.

Yasmine:
Yeah. And if I’m like taking my first break since 2017, like reminding myself that, like, I deserve breaks, I deserve rest, hey, actually, I should probably make this a normal thing. And I love sharing with my community. And also, I have to take care of myself. And I think like the pressure of what to share, or what not to share. Like for example, I don’t share my kids. I don’t share my family on social media. And I think it’s just recognizing this is what I’m comfortable with, like boundaries I teach boundaries are everything. And it translates into everything that I do in my regular life and what we all should be doing, recognizing, like, you have that friend who’s like, just ordered the appetizer or come on, just tell me it’s like reminding myself that I don’t have to do anything.

Nicole:
That’s exactly right, that you don’t have to share it. I mean, that’s something that I will be talking about in future episodes as I am many years out from, you know, sort of starting this divorce process and closing that out and healed in a whole new way. And I’ve actually just started dating and you know, I met someone and I’m excited about it, but also approaching this a little differently because I had a very public family brand the first time and while I’m not embarrassed or scared to share who this person is in their name, and their face, whether or not they will be part of my brand or showing up every day or you know, on my feed is another story. You know, I’m happy to let people know that this person exists and I’m proud of them. But will they be part of the day to day I don’t know yet you know, and what’s great is that’s my boundary that I’m able to you know, and it can change it can stay the same. It can be but it won’t be dictated by what I do. It’ll be dictated by who I am.

So oh, so good. So Yeah, I mean, guys, I hope you’re catching all these gems, I hope you’re hearing all this goodness. I mean, Yasmine is brilliant with this stuff. So what’s in your book? Because I know that we’ve right loaded question. What is it? You’re telling me? What’s your book? We want to know, no loaded question. But the truth is, I thought that your book, I’m not gonna lie to you, it was going to be more of these good quotes, bullet point after bullet point, like, expanded Instagram gems, which is exciting as a notion, but then you told me what it’s gonna be. And I’m like, I need this book yesterday. So tell me more about how you’re approaching it and how it’s going to help us.

Yasmine:
Yes, I’m a writer, first and foremost. And so I was so excited to be able to expand on you know, the capacity limits that social media provides with writing. The sugar jar is the framework in which I teach and just a short synopsis of it is the jar is us. The sugar is our energy, the lid is the boundaries. And with that framework, we’re able to assess how much energy do I want to give? How much do I have? And by the way, do I even have a lid on the jar? Oh, that’s coming inside. And so the book is going to help us expand on that but instead of like walking through, like, oh, I had a client who was going through this, I just want to walk through my life.

Nicole:

That is so flipping brave. I mean, and I say this from someone who’s on that same boat, I mean, people are like, Oh, Nicole, write the business book, which I could you know what I mean, and it would be killer, and it would make me tons of money, and I would change lots of lives. However, the book that I sold in my huge deal was a memoir, because they were like, Hey, so you captured these babies, you’re getting divorced. We want to know, how are you still standing? Do you know how scary, do you know, of course, you know, because your book that you’re writing, it is so scary to be able to write a book with yourself as the context, most people do not do that at all.

Yasmine:
It’s like blowing yourself open.

Nicole: It is.

Yasmine:
And I didn’t realize how personal I got until I read the book again. Because when you’re writing it, you’re just in it, you’re telling the story, you’re editing, and you’re like watching from outside the room describing what you’re seeing when you see it. And you’re like when we’re selling this. And if there’s this experience of Well, first of all, it’s too late this is what is coming out.

Nicole:
Listen, you’re speaking to a void. So you’re like, I don’t even know how this is gonna be received. But it’s too late. It’s too late.

Yasmine:
But like reminding people, I’m so excited for this, because it’s an opportunity. The reason why I share my story is not just to tell my story, but for people to see themselves in my story and recognize and not just like, as a black woman. And we don’t always get self help books like that.

Nicole:
Are you kidding me? Like? Absolutely not. I mean, almost the time, our black female stories that are told to self help are told from a place of strict trauma. Where it’s like, I went through so many traumatic things, and I’m still standing Yeah, versus, you know, no, understand that I had lessons as I went, and here’s the evolution and my trauma served a purpose, you know, instead of just less kind of glorifying and stare at this trauma. So that’s exciting, because that alone is new and fresh.

Yasmine:
Yes and I think people need to recognize to like, I mean, obviously, the book is for everyone, but recognizing that like, there is a different way that I feel black women aren’t often held in wellness as well. And I talked about that in the book. But I think that understanding that that we heal differently, but that culture doesn’t support the way in which we need to experience.

Nicole:
Or just some of the things that we uniquely go through that people aren’t aware of.

Yasmine:
Right, so it gives life to what it’s like to walk in our shoes.

Nicole:
And so that’s valuable for everyone to everyone, because if I’m reading that, and I am not a black woman, I now can understand a little bit more about the person next to me to be able to say, hey, you know, this is actually valuable insight to me, because I know that I’m dealing with these issues. I never understood that these issues were existing in this context. Yeah, but boy, can I relate a little better and anything that brings us closer together now is a good thing. So I love that you’re hitting on that.

Yasmine:
Absolutely. And just knowing too that it’s not like read from the purpose of oh, this happened and then you know, being black this is just like, this is the black lens. And this is what should be on probably every book.

Nicole:
Yes, always.

Yasmine:
But since it’s not like this is what it’s on here and so I’m credible.

Nicole:
I love it. Oh my gosh, well, one can I get this book now? I mean, like I personally because I’m an influencer, hair toss, hair flip, you can email me an advanced copy, hair toss, hair flip. And I would love to be able to read it because also Lord knows I need it because you know that pedicel in that bar is low. So please help me get my stuff together. But aside from that, when can people get a copy of this, I mean like give us the exclusive here I got my friends in the room.

Yasmine:
So it’s available for pre-order right now. It’s called the Sugar Jar and you can get on Amazon all the places and I’m just so excited for you all to get this book.

Nicole:
Y’all please get this book. What I love about this is you know how I am I want something actionable. I want something practical, I want something tactical, but it has got to be done with heart. Do not bullet point me to death. Do not tell me to wake up at 4am with a bunch of journals. I cannot do it on today. You know, I want to be able to take away what I need to take away but do it through storytelling and this is this is it. So definitely grab the Sugar Jar. It’s available on Amazon. We’ll have the details in the show notes for you so you’ll be able to listen to that.

Yasmine, you are just such a gift. Like I am so blessed to know you. I am so grateful for the way that you show up and it’s a real privilege to have you here because I know I can feel the way God is using you and the light that you are shining into this world and this is if I’ve never said before the beginning and I cannot wait for you to not act brand new when you are famous and come back here. Okay. I don’t want to hear you can’t use my yacht. I’m busy. I don’t want to hear that. Okay. I really don’t. I don’t want to hear oh, Nicole will have to slot you in on my show. No, I would like to be on the show please, Yasmine. Okay, so thank you for being here today.

Yasmine:
Thank you for having me girl.

Nicole:
Let me in later when you get super, super famous. This was a blast. I appreciate you.

Yasmine: Thank you

In this episode, Yasmine and I chat about:

• How she helps everyday people heal through her social media posts,
• What the sugar jar is,
• How Yasmine focuses on healing others and yourself,
• The boundaries Yasmine has to put up in order to run her business as a business

 

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Find Yasmine HERE and on Instagram
• Pre-order Yasmine’s book, The Sugar Jar, on Amazon!
• Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram
• Record a voice message for me here
• Don’t miss our last chat with musician, Tito Rey!
• I love reading your reviews of the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!

 

More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

If you’re looking for the strategies and encouragement to pursue a life of purpose, this is the podcast for you! Week after week Nicole Walters will have you laughing hysterically while frantically taking notes as she shares her own personal stories and answers your DMs about life, business, and everything in between.

As a self-made multimillionaire and founder of the digital education firm, Inherit Learning Company, Nicole Walters is the “tell-it-like-it-is” best friend that you can’t wait to hang out with next.

When Nicole shows up, she shows OUT, so tune in each week for a laugh, a best friend chat, plus the strategies and encouragement you need to confidently live a life of purpose.

Follow Nicole on IG @NicoleWalters and visit inheritlearningcompany.com today and click the button to join our betterment community. Your membership gives you access to a world of people and tools focused on helping you build the life you want.