Worth Every Penny

Worth Every Penny

by | May 23, 2024

Worth Every Penny

Y’all we need to talk about today’s money. You know the money that just doesn’t seem to last as long as it once did? In this chat we’re talking about how to make decisions that are worth every penny.

This mindset shift around money has informed the way my kids make money decisions and how they view their time and energy. This belief, if you decide to take it, will help you to realize the value of YOUR dollar.

Thanks for being here, friend. Slide into my DMs @‌NicoleWalters with how you’re handling today’s inflation and still getting all the value out of your dollar.

Nicole:

Hey friends, so I don’t typically do episodes where I’m talking about business related things or mindset things. Usually we’re just catching up on life and the happenings and all that good stuff. Like if you caught last week’s episode I was chatting with my dear friend Myesha Chaney about all the transitions and changes that happened in divorce and how she’s managed to be a public figure and still land on top.

And the week before that I was chatting all things business. with the Misterfella, but it’s time for us to have another one on one. And in this chat I wanted to talk to you about something pretty meaningful. It’s a shift that happened in my life and it’s one that honestly people come and visit me in Los Angeles to make this shift.

It’s something that I do for business owners, for everyday mom and dads and honestly, any good friend that I have. It’s really important that during the time that we have our friendship and you know, as they’re trying to accomplish their goals, that if I’m able to impart this belief on them, that they’re able to see the fruits of their labor.

So friends, I want to talk to you about knowing your own worth now. Now freeze. Hold on. I know that you have all heard conversations like this already, right? I feel like it was something that became really popularized maybe a couple years ago, maybe around like the pandemic y time where you would hear all over the internet, charge what you’re worth, get paid what you’re worth, your worth is this, your value, money issues, money fears, manifest, all of that.

And I want to tell you. A little bit of column A and a little bit of column B is true, right? We all absolutely deserve to be paid what we’re worth, but column B is true too. We do need to understand quantifying our worth. We need to know how to calculate what is actually reasonable based on the skills we bring to the table, the way that we show up, how we’re going to perform, and the best use of our time.

And that’s what I wanted to chat about. I wanted to chat about two things that I’m seeing happen. One, In this internet space, as well as in this crazy economy. what’s happening with worth. We’ll start there. And then I want to talk about how maybe you can make some small shifts to reflect on how you’re thinking about your worth and maybe even pass them down to your littles to really help make sure that your time, effort, and money is going where it needs to go.

So the first thing is this, y’all, it is expensive in these World grocery store, raising kids, childcare, everything streets. Am I right? What is going on with inflation? I mean this economy is bananas. Now, if you are one of my clients or one of my students or you worked with me, you know that we’ve been talking about inflation coming.

We’ve been talking about recessions for over six years. So what’s awesome is anyone who’s ever worked with me, we’ve always looked at the numbers. So this is not news to us. We actually expected it and we prepared our businesses and our lives for it because we’ve known that these higher numbers were coming.

So I know that for a lot of us, it feels like a gut punch. But you know what? A lot of people don’t realize is that. When we went through the pandemic, a lot of the political legislation and the numbers were modified to help us get through that time. That’s like the simplest way to put it. So what it did was it pushed back something that was already an economic situation that was going to come.

Anyways, we were already facing a recession, but it actually ended up getting pushed back a bit. And now we’re looking at really feeling the full force of what was to come. Prices were artificially low. There are a lot of extra money in people’s pockets, but realistically we’re living in a time that I’d like to say, I wish I could say was unavoidable, but this is part of the natural cycle of economies.

But Oh, it does not mean that we are not all feeling the pinch. I mean, between interest rates around mortgages, my goodness, and rent prices like what are you what is happening and then food cost? I mean everything that is essential right now is so Costly and I say all of this to say that I really identify and understand particularly as a mom who is solely Financially responsible for her children and for herself and for her businesses and I mean obviously I’m in a relationship with the Misterfella who you know covers his share of bills and we’re in a two parent household But I mean It is us, you know what I mean?

There ain’t nobody coming to save us. And I think a lot of us are, you know, nodding our heads the same way because we know what it’s like to really be the adults in the room, you know, and sometimes kind of wonder what the heck, right? But the thing that I think a lot of us can relate to and identify right now is around value.

And that’s the first part of the shift that I want to make. One, I want to talk about how we’re seeing and experiencing it every day. And then of course, again, worth related to value in relation to us. So let’s get into this value part. So the other day I was out to dinner with the Misterfella and he was joking because we went out to a steak dinner and if you don’t know, I love like high quality meals.

Right, like I’m, I’m a girl who, sure, I can get down at Olive Garden on, you know, some soup and some breadsticks and salad. Like give me the special, I will go in. I don’t need fancy pants meals in order to enjoy myself, right? Like that is the truth of it. Like you can catch me on the couch with some Easy Mac.

Like it is the real deal. But if I’m going to pay for a meal, when I go out, I often like to have nice dinners. Like, and I’m very particular, partly because I know how to cook. So like, I know what the ingredients are, you know, and if I’m paying for something, I want it to be delicious. And so the Misterfella knows this.

And we were out to dinner cause I had a steak craving. So teeny bit of Nicole trivia. Um, What I can’t cook is a steak to save my life. Feel free to DM me your best steak tips. Seriously, because I, I don’t even buy them because I struggle with making them and I really like them to be perfect and perfect to me is well marbled, medium, rare, tender, just delicious.
So I’d rather just go out and get one. Well. We go out and when we go out to get steak, it’s really funny because we have two different perspectives around it. So I grew up, as you all know, in particular, if you read my book, nothing is missing. I grew up not having much, you know, I grew up in a family that never went out to fancy meals.

And if we did, it was red lobster. Um, and you know, and honestly, Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. That’s really, let’s not sleep on Red Lobster, right? But I still go to Red Lobster, but that said, you know, we just never went out like we didn’t vacation We just had nothing extra and you know, uh, the Misterfella, my Alex, he, you know, grew up in a family that did really well. His parents are lawyers and he, you know, Had nice meals and had nice things, but ultimately he’s a pretty average Average income person, right? He does well for himself. We call it California poor where in California You can make six figures and just doesn’t really go anywhere, right?

So when we go out he wants to order a tomahawk porterhouse his rule is, if I see white space on my plate, what happened? Like that is the energy, right? And he’s like, and it tastes good to him if he is stuffed to the gills. That is his measurement of a good meal, right? What were the portions like?

Am I stuffed? And was it reasonably delicious? Right? I, on the other hand, come from the other camp where I’m like, look, I don’t care if it is four bites of food. Let it be the best four bites of food I have ever had in my life. Like give me the fancy pants, Michelin star meal, like three courses of two things on a tablespoon that I will just never taste anywhere else in my life with like the most crazy of flavors, right?

That’s, that’s the camp that I’m in. So when we go out for steak, he’s the guy who’s ordering the porterhouse and I’m the girl who’s ordering dinner. Four ounces of the A5 Wagyu fancy pan steak that’s cooked to perfection, right? And it’s so funny because we’ll spend roughly the same price on our meals, but the portions look totally different.

And Here’s where I think it comes into play for all of us. It’s starting to feel like no matter what we pay, we’re seeing a lot of white space on our plates. And that’s where value comes in, where it feels like, and I think a lot of us can verify that it is happening, where we go out to a stores and for the same thing that we purchased before we’re getting smaller portions or where we go out to get a service and it’s shortened time, or if we go out to get something that is being, uh, delivered to us that maybe the additional enhancements that kind of were part of the process Now have a price of bump or an increase. And it’s, it’s interesting because it wasn’t always like that. I mean it truly wasn’t always like that. It used to feel like we were in a situation where we were getting the most value out of everything that came. I mean honestly I remember growing up in the days where we would share like, oh this is such a great value, go out here.

Or there was always a place where you could take your family and know that you’re going to get a great high quality meal, home style, fill your plates, you know, some that take home and the price has never changed. But now. If I go to the local taco shop, I feel like on one day, those tacos are a dollar.

The next day, they’re 2. The day after that, they’re 3. 50. I mean, that is what inflation looks like. And it feels like the portions just get smaller while the prices go up. And I want to pause on that for a sec, because I think a lot of us can sit with that and understand it. If you’re anything like me. You don’t mind paying what something is worth as long as you feel like it got good value for your dollar.

Am I right? I don’t mind if I have to pay for health insurance, if I feel like it’s going to cover the things that I’m dealing with and it’s going to work when I’m there and then I’m going to have access to the best medical care and then I’m going to have to go to a hospital that’s in my neighborhood and see a great doctor that’s going to spend time with me.

And I don’t mind paying the cost associated with groceries. I don’t. I just wish that there were groceries that I knew would last the entire week. And I didn’t have to do a mid week re up on the milk, bread, fruits, and veggies. And I wish that everything in my fridge could be organic and healthy for the same price I’m paying now.

I as long as I know what I’m getting is the value for it. And what’s so difficult now is it feels like, and honestly, and I think in a lot of ways, and I think many of you will agree, you know, it feels like the value is not in alignment. And that’s really difficult because it makes a lot of us sit here and say look some of these things are non negotiables You know, um, I shared a little bit on Instagram if you are keeping along that Puffin our little one who is turning 13 this year y’all 13 what is happening?

Some of y’all have met me recently but If we have been in this internet space for a while and you’re a long time internet auntie, you have known Puffin since she was literally three. Y’all, we are a decade into this and as she’s starting to really develop into her own personality and she’s really becoming a truly a young woman, you know, she, uh, is an introvert, you know, and, and I don’t say that as a negative thing at all.

It is, it is, she is truly. And I say, and the reason I say as a caveat that I don’t say it as a negative thing is because being an introvert is really tough in your teens, in a world that really celebrates and elevates extroversion as like the prize within teens. And I mentioned that because it’s not that I share those values necessarily.

It’s that. It’s all about when you watch like Disney and stuff, it’s who’s the lead in the play and who’s the popular girl and who’s the star of the show. And, you know, It’s tough because I’m raising a girl who is not interested in that and that what I mean by that is she is very Confident and very aware of what she has to offer the fact that she is smart capable well rounded has tons to contribute She is not insecure.

She is not shy. She has all the thoughts all the pains like most introverts Most of them like where it’s like I’m just sitting in the room and taking it all in and I will insert myself where required And if someone needs to run it, I will do it But for the most part I like to just watch what’s going on, right?

And all my introverts right now are like exactly right, you know Like you’re not the first one to run out there and make a scene but trust you know What’s going on and that’s very much who she is, but it’s tough because you know The people who get seen are often the ones with the biggest mouths and not necessarily the ones that are most qualified and that’s difficult for her.

So one of the things we’ve had to recently invest in is private school because we wanted to make sure that she was in an environment where the class sizes were smaller. Currently, uh, she was in public school for a short time during our transition to California post divorce and, uh, And she was in a classroom of 40 kids and shout out to all my teachers.
You know how much I love you. God bless you. God bless you and keep and cover you for handling. And then these kids are not what they used to be, lord! They’re not what they used to be. So God bless and keep you. But when I tell you, She just felt dwarfed in that environment. She said mom. I just we don’t even get any work done There’s just too much happening and I understood it.

I wanted to make sure she was an environment where she could shine, but y’all Private school not just in LA. I mean when she was in elementary school in particle She’s a middle school now when she was in elementary school in Georgia private school was 25, 000 A school year, which I know is for some of y’all you’re like that’s not that bad for other ones You know that that’s like a deal basically and that was maybe four years ago.

We paid that no three years ago in Los Angeles it can be anywhere between 30 and 50, 000 a year for private school And that is, I mean, when you think about that and those costs, and I’m also hearing that, you know, college educations are now hitting up on 100, 000. And for those, for those of my parents who know we’re making the sacrifice, we’re doing what we need to do because, you know, the kids come first.
You also understand that covering those sorts of expenses, in addition to all the things that go along with it, the activities, the sports, you name it, the camps, the tutoring, the everything, right? It is costly. But isn’t that a great example, though, of where the value seems to make sense? Where we’re able to say, you know what, I will always find a way, even though this is like, I’m feeling the, the tightness of this.

Because the activities, the sport, the way it nurtures, especially for kids in a great school, where you’re like, they’re really developing into themselves, you see the value. I’m really struggling to see that in other aspects of my life. So one of the things I’m doing to approach sort of what’s happening in the economy and how we’re handling it in our home and in our lives is I’m really teaching my kids about value. That’s the first thing because growing up, how many of us just learned, you know, like the cost of an item is a dollar.

Right, or the cost of this thing is roughly five or whenever you would leave the home. If you’re old school like me and you grew up with kind of old school or immigrant first generation or southern parents, you know this never leave the house without some cash in your pocket, right? And then they would throw you a fiver or a ten or a twenty because you just needed a little bit of cash in your pocket, but that number always kind of represented This’ll cover a taxi, or this’ll cover a meal, or this’ll cover the ability to get from A to B, or a bus fare, or something.

But now you really have to say to your kids, hey, here’s the debit card. Or, am I loaded into your Uber app? Because prices fluctuate. And we, so it’s about the value. So I’ve really started focusing and shifting with my kids when it comes to interacting with the outside world, same shifts that we’ve had within.

Look at the value of what you’re getting. Now it’s not that I never taught them this before, of course I always taught them the importance of value, but I’ve really started driving it home in more areas than just the value of an education or the value of an experience over items or the value of relationships over material goods.

I’m really starting to drum it down to, hey, when we go to the market and and We’re trying to figure out what our personal values are. If it really matters to you that you are eating a vegan, vegetarian, organic, um, non processed diet, then you’re also going to need to look at maybe learning how to cook so that you can bring down your cost of eating externally and also make the most out of your meals.

Um, you know, these are some of the value based lessons based on the cost of food that I’m starting to shift to my kids. Another value based lesson. is teaching my kids about meal prep and cooking in larger quantities and using that to prepare your meals for the week. So while I know that meal prep is something that’s all trending, I mean, just check out the hashtag on TikTok.

One of the things that I’ve always grown up with, you know, because for those who’ve read the book, I went to boarding school. So I lived in a home of 12 girls. And so we always kind of cooked in large quantities. And, uh, I got to tell you, It’s stuck with me my whole life and I’ve always had big family dreams and God being so good But with my adopted babies, you know, I’ve had a big family, you know, and so, you know What we would do is on Sunday, we would cook most of our meals, you know And we usually would try to do maybe one pasta in the fridge, one sort of like stir fry or sauce based things.

So it might be like a chicken and broccoli, or it might be like a Indian Korma mix with the chicken base. Uh, we’ll do a vegetable. So it might be like a broccoli or, um, I do a thing called a squash medley where I’ll do a zucchini, a regular squash, and maybe some roasted potatoes. Things that reheat well will last the week and, um, are still tasty.

And honestly, some of the flavors develop while they’re in the fridge. And then we. always have because I’m Ghanaian. Okay, come through African. We always have rice in the fridge, just white rice, because white rice is a base level component that can go with everything, right? So, and then maybe like a meat.

So I might grill up some, some chicken breast and chop those in there. And then we buy like a box of salad greens and keep that in there for quick meals. So all this will happen on a Sunday and I will load up the fridge with these giant Tupperware containers. Of these different meals and then through the week, we’ll portion it out.

We’ll have different meals, things like that. So if you follow me over on Instagram, I’m going to post some photos and things so that you guys can see a little bit of what this looks like. So you can understand how we do our family style meal prep. Now, I also want to let you know, this family style meal prep has nothing to do with calories and macros and diet plans and portion control or other things.

Anything like that and I don’t say that to knock anything I will there is obviously the side effect benefit of when you prepare your meals like this Naturally, your family’s gonna eat home more naturally. You’re gonna eat fresher naturally You’re going to you know benefit from whatever comes with eating your meals at home, you know Like that is a natural thing, but it isn’t our priority, you know, and and I don’t say that because health isn’t important I’m just saying that I’m not trying to fixate on any sort of food things with my babies in that context.

But what I am doing is I’m actually showing them how much we save by cooking larger portions up front. So when I make my meals like this, I can buy the family size packaging of of chicken and meats and large quantities of vegetables from places like Costco, cook it all up front where it doesn’t go bad or pre portion it out into the freezer, rather than buying things individually in smaller amounts and at a higher cost.

Now, It’s amazing because as you all know, I got my babies 10 years ago or our babies 10 years ago. And that means that I have had an 11 year old and a 14 year old living in my home, teaching them life skills, things of that sort. And of course my three year old who’s now 13 who’s still with me that whole time.

But I now have a 22 year old and a soon to be 25 year old that are out in the wild. Out in the world, out in the wild, going rogue, and I can actually see the fruit of what I taught them. So in teaching them the value around buying bulk, cooking at one time, and prepping for the week, I’m seeing them employ these very techniques as they are entering the world in their early 20s where they’re more responsible for their expenses and saving money compared to their peers.

While their peers are out here dining out, Eating honestly in a less healthy way, you know, like because it’s harder to integrate some of those fresh things or have quick access to those food and then also Spending more because they don’t have food prepared in advance. It’s a time management thing as well I’m seeing my kids actually live this value based lifestyle lifestyle and it’s changing everything for them and they’re able to actually explain to their friends like look I do this because I feel like I’m getting the most for my money when I can buy a larger portion of rice that’ll last me longer rather than going out and buying things a little bit at a time especially in this economy where you’re not getting as much as you used to get before.

So yes it does mean on Sundays we are in the kitchen for probably a solid two and a half hours with everyone chopping, cutting, prepping but we do zero food prep during the week and it is very self serve for the kiddos if for some reason I have to do another task or You know, we’re popping in quickly after work or whatever They’re able to get in there portion things out on their plates heat it up and still get a hot nutritious meal on the table that is balanced and and delicious and and good to eat and Easy on the pockets.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t Uber Eats a couple times a week just because we feel like it. Sure, we do. But at the end of the day, the math is mathing. Now, that’s where we’ve made some shifts with the value in relation to how we interact with the outside world. But I also want to talk about value within.

And value within has to do with how we manage our time. So I was having a conversation this week with Alex when we were taking our laundry to the wash and fold. Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with wash and fold services. Um, if you’re not, I’m going to tell you what they are because if you have one near you, you may want to look into it.
Now, growing up, my mom used to take our clothing to the laundromat and it was because we lived in an apartment building in Washington, DC where they’re only, I think, if I recollect, I’m literally mentally counting right now. I think there were three or four laundry machines and Three or four dryers for the entire building and they were quarter operated and I remember growing up that you know It was maybe 1 to wash and then 1. 50 to dry. And I do remember over the time that we lived in that apartment building, which was you know, from my birth all the way to age 12, so 12 years in you know, DC that the price went up from you know, 10 a quarter. I imagine when my dad moved in in the late, mid to late 70s, all the way to, you know, the 90s where I remember my mom, you know, spending upwards of 10, you know, to do laundry, including the cost of soap, detergent, things like that for the whole family and the $10 part of it, can sound kind of give or take now again, those were 90s dollars, right? You know, so 10 bucks in the 90s is you know, what 50 bucks now? At least that’s what it feels like but you know What I really recollect were that laundry days in our family were whole day occurrences We spent from dusk till dawn Hauling our laundry out, getting everything done, wash, fold, dry, prep, and hauling it all back.

I remember the sheer exhaustion on my mom’s face, and I remember the deep boredom that I felt as a kid. And I gotta tell you, It will never leave me and I will always be grateful when I have a washer dryer in my own home. Because it is something that my kids don’t even know. They don’t even know what laundromats are, you know, because we’ve been so blessed to have them.

And when I tell you, especially for those mamas out here and for those of you who still utilize laundromats the community washer dryer, I know what it’s like to have to. To do that, to save quarters. I look at quarters now and I still hold them as prized because I have that, that memory. So right now, based on where we are in our life, between me managing multiple businesses, you know, we’ve got a family here.

We’ve talked a little bit about how me and Alex are prepping for babies. So we’ve got a lot of things we’re doing over there on that side, fertility conversations. Plus we’ve got this kiddo. We have a lot going on and we’re really busy and we just don’t often have the three to four hours between washing, drying, folding, putting away to take care of laundry.
And in the past I’ve had live in help to assist me with some of these things but ultimately right now it just doesn’t make sense for the budget. I would rather use that money towards paying for school, investing in properties, investing in businesses, or just downright saving it. And where I used to think gosh, it’s nice So we still have cleaners that come in to our home about once every two weeks But we don’t have live in help and we don’t have people that come all the time And I know for some of y’all like it’s still very much a must be nice girl It is super nice and the privilege is not lost on me but I will also tell you as someone who Runs a multi million dollar business and is a ceo of multiple You know, lines of work, it is very unusual to not have more help, right?

Like, like I have a lot of peers and clients in this space that have Nannies and staff and all that and I do my cooking. I sweep my floors if my toilets need a quick cleanup I’ll do it myself because I’m in the house It’s just having grown up the way that i’ve grown up. It’s not beyond me and I thank god that I Have never lost that ability and I feel totally capable of doing it.

But it is also about the value of your time and that’s what I wanted to bring you to. So we go to the wash and fold and we’re dropping off all of our stuff and when you drop off wash and fold, if you’re not familiar with it, a lot of laundromats have them. Some dry cleaners have them and basically the way that they charge is that there’s a flat rate per pound of laundry.

So you just pack up all your stuff. You don’t need to pre sort. You don’t need to do anything else. You drop it off and they weigh it and they give you a of your laundry. So your laundry I would say an average pretty hearty load like I would say two garbage bags worth might be 15 pounds of laundry if you’re talking, you know, a couple pairs of jeans Maybe a jacket or two things like that and then your standard clothing sweatpants.

You name it might be 15 to 20 pounds Well in Los Angeles, which I’m sure is on the pricier end of the market that might run you between 40 to 50 bucks to do but I want to be clear that 40 to 50 dollars will encompass all of your laundry washed sorted dried You bring no products, no soap, no bleach, no anything.

And you just get called, you pick up your stuff and you got to put it away. Now, pause, raise your hand. Putting it away is the awful part for me. Let’s just keep it real. My laundry can sit in a basket because oh my gosh, who’s going to do all this. But that said, Whenever we get our laundry back, so I just took over I think 70 pounds of laundry because I’ve been traveling So it was like let me take over all these clothes and get it all done at once and the cost for me to do 70 pounds of laundry was a hundred dollars now again It is not lost on me the privilege to be able to spend a hundred dollars on doing my laundry but when I went back and did the math on it knowing that in the Easily, five to six hours it would have taken me to do this laundry, plus the cost of doing the laundry, plus the time of doing the laundry.

And when I say cost, I mean detergent, and soap, and gas cost, and electricity if I did it at home versus going to laundromat, coins, like all of that. When I think of those six hours and what I can do, what I can do with six hours, I could pitch clients, I could close new business, heck, I could literally have a dinner with clients and close additional business.
Think about this, friends, mamas, what could you do with six hours of your time? Even if in those six hours what you do is rest, is 40 not worth that time? Is 50 not worth that time? Even if what you’re saying is I am so behind on this laundry that it has become a weight on me. That I, it is a stressor.

Gathering it all up and taking it to the wash and fold so that task is completed. What would happen to your brain if you had the mental space of knowing that time was now yours back? What would that do for you? I have to tell you that that’s what I think of when I think of value. I recognize that a dollar is a dollar is a dollar, and when you have car payments, gas, milk, food, kids, a hundred dollars is nothing to sneeze at.

I know what it is like to wait for that check to hit direct deposit at 7 p. m. and know that, you know, that overdraft is going to be solved and you can still use your card before that other fee hits. I know what that’s like, but I also know what it’s like to say this money was worth It was worth my peace.

It was worth my ease. It was worth it. Recently, I’ve had to cut a lot of checks. Y’all know divorces are expensive, okay? There is no divorce that ain’t gonna cost you a coin, right? Because lawyers are not cheap, right? The process is not cheap.
Time off of work isn’t cheap. Managing two households isn’t inexpensive. But understand that nobody engages in any process whether it’s building a business, getting a divorce, getting married, buying a home. Homes are expensive aside from all the mortgage and stuff cost, the maintenance. We all know but it’s an awareness of the value that it’s gonna be worth it.

So what I want to challenge you for, what I want to encourage you to do this upcoming week as you are feeling the pinch in the economy, as you are examining the value around every dollar you spend, is really look at it and say, Could it be worth paying to get my mental freedom back, my peace of mind, my time?

Is it possible that if I hand it off this task, something as simple as getting my laundry done for me, because maybe I can’t have a full team come in, but having the cleaners come one time for a hundred and fifty dollars is a game changer for me. There are online booking services that will come in and they’ll come just one time do a deep clean and the piece you will get will change your life.

Maybe you’ll work more efficiently. Maybe you’ll get that job. Maybe you’ll eat better for the entire week and you’ll have more energy. Whatever it is, it’s gonna be worth it. And that’s where the real value is. It’s in taking care of yourself and building for a better tomorrow.

In this episode, we chat about:
  • The internal and external changes I made with my money mindset in this economy,
  • Why you’ll find me cooking for hours every Sunday,
  • What I’ve taught my girls in relation to value-based financial decisions, and
  • How to decide what is worth it and what IS NOT
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
  • Let’s connect on Instagram HERE
  • Grab my New York Times Bestselling memoir, Nothing is Missing, HERE!
  • Book a 20 min call to see if working together is the right next step for you!
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 More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:

If you’re looking for the strategies and encouragement to pursue a life of purpose, this is the podcast for you! Week after week Nicole Walters will have you laughing hysterically while frantically taking notes as she shares her own personal stories and answers your DMs about life, business, and everything in between.

As a self-made multimillionaire and founder of the digital education firm, Inherit Learning Company, Nicole Walters is the “tell-it-like-it-is” best friend that you can’t wait to hang out with next.

When Nicole shows up, she shows OUT, so tune in each week for a laugh, a best friend chat, plus the strategies and encouragement you need to confidently live a life of purpose.

Peace and Profits

Peace and Profits

by | Apr 2, 2024

Peace and Profits

We are chatting about peace AND profits in this chat with finance expert, Kendra Nicole!

Kendra’s whole business is about peace and profits but it wasn’t always that way…

We chat about the moment that shifted everything for her and what steps you can take to reclaim peace while still making money in your business.

Friend, Kendra is our people and I know you’re going to love this chat!

Nicole: Y’all, again, I don’t have people here unless I know for a fact it’s going to be good. You have heard from Dr. Scott Lyons, you’ve heard, I literally only bring people in that I know are great. I am so excited because the person that I have here today, when I tell you she is our people, I mean, she is our people. I have known Kendra Nicole for, I want to say, like, almost eight years now, six years now.

It’s been a while. And she is. Easily one of my go to financial experts, super mamas. She has been in a relationship now for I think like three years, four years. I mean, she is an incredible do it all woman. She’s also beautiful and smart and kind and, I’m just so excited because today’s chat is going to be unlike anything you’ve ever heard because we’re going to keep it all the way real.

We are going to talk about money. Y’all know, it’s my favorite topic and also the most uncomfortable topic. And we’re going to talk about some shifts that you’re going to make that you’re not hearing in other places, but will absolutely change your life. So Kendra, thank you so much for being here.

Kendra: Oh, thank you for having me, Nicole. I love

Nicole: to jump right in. Okay, I want to jump right in because they’re not listening to me. I have

Kendra: spent

Nicole: a whole two seasons talking about how money has stressed me the heck out or the act of getting money has stressed me the heck out and you are all about peace and profits.

Kendra: about it.

Nicole: Tell me what the heck does that mean?

Kendra: It’s really about balancing, um, the art and an act of making money with doing it in a way that, um, keeps you fulfilled, right?

So that you can keep going. And I was not always about peace and profits. I was just about profits, right? Like, I

Nicole: I felt Like, there was this window of time where we actually met each other where that really was the language. There wasn’t burnout talk. There wasn’t any of that. It was, Corporate’s a scam. Get the heck out. There is a lot of money to make. Do it now. Make as much as possible. It’s all that matters by any means

Kendra: Work as much as you can do do everything that you can to build scale build scale like absolutely 100 percent

Nicole: and it was, you’re already doing this in corporate anyways, the gag is just do it for yourself, but work the same level of crazy, you’ll make more money and it’s

Kendra: but you have time freedom now, right

Nicole: have time freedom.

Kendra: But you don’t because you’re still working the guitar, but you’re supposed to have time freedom, right?

Nicole: And the catch 22 was Gen Z was all age three, four at that point.

Then, then they got hip to it. Right. And Gen Z now is in their twenties having their own babies. And they’re like, Oh, y’all are playing yourselves because we don’t even care about a six figure anything. If it’s going to kill us, we would rather sleep in our cars.

Kendra: then you see that and you’re like, okay, well, hey, wait, wait a second. Okay, there’s something, there’s something to this, you know?

Nicole: right. There’s something to the fact that our own kids are looking at us saying, Wait, the way you’re doing it’s not how I want to do it either.

So walk me through how you realize this especially as a numbers person, which is why, like, I’m so excited you’re here, because you hear everybody and their mama talk about more peace, less burnout, blah, blah, blah.

It is rare that you hear a financial person saying, Oh no, honey, don’t make less money because you stressed. And that’s how you help these women. So tell me about

Kendra: and I will say in the beginning when I was all profits and I would hear that, I’m like, that’s so woo woo. Don’t listen to the more peace.

Don’t listen to the perfect alignment. Make the money, girl. Make the money. And then, um, the tipping point for me was having my son. because. Prior to Carter, it was all work, work, work, work, um, got pregnant, was like, um, okay, well, uh, I’ll have this maternity leave. Like I was like all prepared and ready to go, had no maternity leave.

When you own a business, you don’t have a maternity

Nicole: is that? Uh, how can I leave from my house?

Kendra: exactly. I was like, This doesn’t really quite work the way I was thinking, but I thought that I was going to have one. And so, you know, I had some reduced calls and hours and things like that. But the exact point was when I was trying to nurse Carter while on a call with a client, bouncing on a yoga ball, praying that he would like fall asleep while I’m going over my client’s financials.

And he’s getting fussy. And it happened a couple of times before. And my clients were amazing, very forgiving. But this one particular time. Uh, the client got a little sassy and I was already, of course, hormonal and like feeling like I was going to get judged. But then when she said what she said about, you know, my inability to properly parent and to manage, the business properly because of this chaos, absolutely did.

So

Nicole: first and foremost, I just want to say to all the mamas listening, if you cannot extend fellow mama grace, don’t, don’t go there.

Don’t go there. Bless you.

Kendra: It was tough. I

Nicole: you burst into tears. What y’all don’t know is Kendra Nichols is softy. Okay. She didn’t cuss nobody out. She cried.

Kendra: cry in front of you, Nicole, 90 percent of the time that I see you. So yes, this is true. Um, but in that moment, yeah, I 100 percent was like, This is not what I got into business for like it it a it made me very sad But then also I was just like this is not this isn’t the move like this is not what I was in this for and so I was hard on myself because I’m like I plan for this and you know I thought I was prepared and so at that moment though is when I realized okay.

I have to shift this model. I have to understand that I have to make sure there’s proper alignment with clients and like go through the whole thing. Right. But I knew that at that point it was not about just making as much money as possible and bringing this business to whatever number there had to be some piece there of, um, ensuring that I’m working with the proper people, ensuring that I have the proper hours that if I need to go and put my son to sleep because he’s fussy and he’s one month old, that I can do that and not feel like.

You know, like I’m a horrible businesswoman and I’m literally at that exact point is when everything shifted for me and I was like, this is not just about scaling like this is about making sure that there is that proper balance.

Nicole: Wow. And I think what really stands out to me in that story is that we hear about balance being, I say it all the time, balance is bogus, right? It’s never going to be perfect balance, but there is prioritization. And in that moment, it was like, look, the priority is my baby. And it’s not a, I mean, I’ll just be the one who’s transparent to say it, you know, sometimes that parenting may not be where you want to be, but it is the priority, you know, and I need the flexibility to be there if I need to, because you never know your kids shifting focus.

I have a similar story with Chrissy when she was going through chemo. You know, um, when she got that diagnosis, when I tell you that was the first time I realized, I literally don’t care about this business. Like, I thought I cared about it. I really was like, this is the thing that has been my primary focus for six, seven years.

I’ve just only been focused on this. But when I tell you, if they told me in that instant, that moment, you will never make another dollar. You will lose everything you have. You will sleep on a box, but Chrissy will live. And that was when I was like, Oh, wow. None of this matters if, if the right things aren’t okay.

So what were the first steps that you took to start transforming your business to allow you to be, you know, mom and a Carter?

Kendra: The very first thing was figuring out what am I really looking for? Like what am I really doing this for? And that’s when I realized like time at that point was my highest priority. Like I needed to be available when I want it to be available. I need to be able to wake up any morning and say today I can’t take a call or I can’t take a

Nicole: So wait, wait, wait, wait, let’s be clear about this because everyone says shifting from corporate to entrepreneur is to get time

Kendra: Yeah.

Nicole: but. What there’s this thing that no one has talked about which I think is kind of what I’m trying to call out here That’s so important is time flexibility So I may have the freedom to schedule where I want to but listen It has to hit the schedule for me to make money time flexibility is oh I don’t have to do it at all.

And that was what you were actually seeking

Kendra: Because I mean, at the end of the day, I still had dozens of clients that I had to have like monthly calls with, and I had to talk to the team about their accounting work.

And so there was still work that had to be done. But did it have to be done every Tuesday at 2:00 PM or if Carter was fussy at one 50, could I move that 2:00 PM. to another time and still get done. And that was what was more important to me was how can I make sure that everything is getting done the way that it needs to get done, but it doesn’t have to be so perfectly, you know, uh, scheduled and calendarized and all of that, that I can’t also have the flexibility to be mom first.

so I had to shift things around because before, yeah, my focus was just like, you If I had an hour in the day to get work done, then I’m going, I’m gonna get work done. I mean, it’s another hour where I can work and now it’s like that hour. I have no idea what’s gonna happen next Wednesday at three o’clock.

Carter gonna have the flu. I can, you know, I can get sick. You know, you have no clue.

Nicole: could be, you could even have something on the calendar for exactly two o’clock. Everything could be totally financial too. And then you’ll hear a crash in the other room and you’re like, I am going to be late to this call because you decided you wanted something off the top shelf.

And now we’re going to urgent care. So this is the thing right now. And I need to know that I can shift things accordingly. I so aligned. I know everyone right now is like, yes, yes, yes. So, okay. Truth moment. How did it work? Was it easy and seamless in the beginning?

Kendra: I’m telling you. It can’t be some people because she’s like, what?

Nicole: our people because she’s like, look, I’m not gonna lie to you.

It was a mess. So how did it work in the beginning?

Kendra: you wanna know why it was messed my own it was like my own mental mess clients were amazing They were like Kendra take the time Some of them were actually shocked that I’m taking calls when I have a son that’s two months old They’re like, why are we on a call?

Nicole: then we also have, so I don’t know about you, so let me not project, but it’s like, literally, I’m like, Oh, no, I’m

Kendra: and

Nicole: like, that’s my

Kendra: like

Nicole: no, it’s fine. Literally,

Kendra: eyelash falling off, right

Nicole: a disaster, right? Half the boob is out, hair is a mess. And I’m like, do you mind if I turn off my zoom camera?

Because my baby just spit up all over me. Like, whatever. And literally you’re saying to yourself, though, I’m fine. Like, because I also wanted to be able to be the person who could. No one was even asking it of me. But I wanted to be the mom who could who can do it and say that this isn’t an issue, even though other moms are giving you

Kendra: Absolutely. And so take the grace and, you know, appreciate it and, um, accept it. But, but yeah, a lot of it was my own mess in the beginning.

The team was great. Like they were willing to do things. I think it’s just that shift, you know, I don’t know if it’s corporate shift or whatever it is, the type A shift, but it’s just like, You can actually accept that you can have flexibility once you, like, you have to accept it though. It’s hard. It’s weird.

It’s like, wait, I can reschedule this meeting today? Like,

Nicole: also, like, can we just say, and I think that you probably realize this quickly, too, if it doesn’t get done or if it gets shifted, like the world didn’t end,

Kendra: listen, Nicole,

Nicole: it didn’t end.

Kendra: I had to learn that very, very early on because I just, and my dad actually had to be the one to tell me. He was like, Because I’m like calling him.

Nicole: dad. Y’all don’t know about this.

Ken Nicole’s, Abby Knowing

Kendra: My dad, he’s awesome. And I was like calling him about the laundry not being done. And like, there was like a bottle in the, in the sink. And he’s just like, Kendra, like, what are you?

It’s fine. It’s fine. Like, don’t stress about it. I’m like, well, well, what about? And so, yeah, there was a lot of having to come over that. But I’ll tell you. That once I finally worked through those things and got to that other side and really did find because you’re absolutely right. There is no perfect balance.

Balance is bogus. But once I found how to prioritize and how to refocus every day on what’s important to me in that moment and follow to that, I can’t, I can’t look back like there is no going back. And so in my opinion, starting like, how do you find that peace and profits? It’s, you start with. What is important to you right now and if it’s, you know, if it is the profit side more because maybe you’re wanting to get to a certain amount to send your kids off to college or do whatever.

Sure, great. But when you’re working hard and things get rough, you have that to look towards to know that, okay, well, this is what I’m going for, but you have to know what that is. And that makes it a lot easier to go through those hard times that you will go through. But being aware of what it is just, you know, makes it a lot easier to get there.

Nicole: that makes so much sense, like setting an intentionality of that goal so that you can say, like, because honestly, it’s the intentionality that lets you have the flexibility part of the freedom.

So it’s time, freedom and flexibility as you’re marching towards an intentional goal versus, oh, I’m going to work like this forever and I’ll just, life will have to fit around it, which is just not realistic, not realistic. So I want to. sort of shift gears, but tie it in as well. So I’m the breadwinner, you know, in my household, in my relationship.

And I always have been as an entrepreneur. Part of that is because, of who I am, right? Like, it’s just my predestined, you know, nature that I, it is very difficult to make more money than me because I will always make a lot. And we thank God for it. I receive it, Lord. Yes, more,

Kendra: know, nothing wrong with that.

Nicole: know, nothing wrong with that.

I work really and all of that, but.

Kendra: it

Nicole: brings a unique set of issues around this sort of peace and profits because and you’re the breadwinner as well, right? So yeah, so knowing this, that you’re in this place where you literally don’t care if you make another dollar because my baby needs this right now.

Also, some of that’s hormonal. I don’t know what it is about having kids. Your brain snaps. Like you literally will be like, I don’t care about anything because my baby needs, which is not right. It’s not rational

Kendra: You can start a business if

Nicole: want to and you can choose to not listen to us and do it right and just do whatever but I promise you when that baby shows up or that kid needs something you’ll be right here with us like it’s whatever so.

Your brain snaps. How did you reconcile the fact that you are a breadwinner with this sort of, I don’t, I need to prioritize my kid and we may go broke.

Kendra: You know what?

Nicole: freak out? Like, what? Like, pretty good.

Kendra: You know what? I didn’t. I didn’t panic. but I think that that’s just having faith in the business and in my ability. And I don’t know how this is going to come out like sounding, but

Nicole: because I’m going to have questions about that because I think people react differently to this, you know?

Kendra: Yeah. I think there’s like some, I think some of us just have this ability or this feeling and this faith that We’re going to be able to make the money regardless, like whether it’s the business or take the business away.

I’ll be able to figure out another way to make the money, you know, and I think that with that I don’t have that that fear or that concern now, of course There’s also because I have planned and stashed money in all kinds of different ways So I think that’s probably when I’m leaning back on the most

Nicole: I wanted to say that it’s a combination, right? Because I do think that you’re completely right. And I, and one of the questions I get, especially since the divorce and sharing all this from a lot of women is, you know, you went through this divorce, but Nicole, I didn’t see you sleeping in your car.

I didn’t see you borrowing money from people, you know, it doesn’t look like your lifestyle changed very much, you know, how’d you do that? And part of it is that, you know, I made sure that I lived a life where I was living below my means, you know, I made sure that. If, you know, mandated for health reasons, I had the means to take care of myself for a full year, you know, and all of that came from making very careful decisions.

And you’re saying that you did that anyways financially,

Kendra: Absolutely. Absolutely. You have to prepare for it. I mean, that’s where the confidence is going to come from to do anything, to be able to cancel that meeting, to do whatever you need to do with your kid or, you know, like having that financial confidence, knowing that you have whatever amount of money in your savings account, whatever amount of money, if it’s stocks or whatnot, although you need to have some liquid cash, right?

Nicole: cash always. Listen, even a little cash in the house, like cash,

Kendra: Yes, yes. Yeah, always. Um, but that’s, that’s for sure going to be that safety net that’s going to allow you to really enjoy that freedom that you’re kind of working for as an entrepreneur. Yeah, right. You

Nicole: absolutely. And you guys have heard me say it when it comes to like my values and products and working, it’s been really nice to be able to say no, you know, like if a project comes, you know, and I don’t want to do it because it’s not even in value alignment.

It’s like, I don’t need this money. It’s a no, you know? And that does come from. the work, but again, I think it’s something that we share with intentionality. It’s part of why we were working was to be able to intentionally say, Oh, I don’t have to do this. But even, even us, we even had to come to a point where we were like, Oh, this is the time to push that button and start paying ourselves, you know, because we were like, We’ll just keep working, you know, and that’s not realistic.

So I love hearing that I’m going to be honest, though, panic does set in, you know, panic does set in where I say to myself, Oh my gosh, the money’s running out, you know, where I’m like, I’m working and I’m drawing from this thing where it was my safety cushion net, you know, like I have a, I have a My savings account when it goes below a certain number, which is imaginary.

So this is me tapping into your financial person brain, you know, and I’ve said things to you, like I save way too much for taxes, you know, just because I get nervous and all of this, is this why it makes sense for anyone to work and have a financial team so that you can know what your healthy number is versus your number that may be based on scarcity or fear, you know,

Kendra: absolutely. I think and that person could be like a CFO in the business or it could be a financial manager or a wealth manager. I mean, there’s different ways to kind of look at it, but there definitely should be someone who is aware of your financial situation, aware of your needs and your wants and aware of your future plans and what you’re wanting in the future so that they can help you keep all of that in mind when you’re making decisions or if you’re potentially getting concerned about something.

Um, but they are like literally in your financial corner. Now, in your. financial corner. So if you are, if you are with partner, with spouse, with, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever, that’s cool. And maybe you guys have someone else, but like you have to have someone, you as an individual have to have someone who was in your financial corner, who likely knows more about your financial business than said partner.

Nicole: Oh, okay. So this is what we’re doing here today. So auntie Kendra just came out and she’s about to tell you about yourself. So I told you we were the same. So

Kendra: So here we go.

Nicole: Let’s talk about that. So you know, with all the things that strong, you know, capable women do, and I just say that because we have some women, you know, who listen that are my friends here, who May not have collected all their money yet, but they are doers.

You know what I mean? We will get that money any type of way, right? Like we’ll do what we need to do to provide for our families. And they may not feel like they’re worth the prenup today, but they know that that money is coming and they need it signed

Kendra: their time. So

Nicole: you’re saying because I get I come across this all the time.

Well, my husband is my partner, like, we’re married, it’s all in the household, all this, but, but, I think we both had a look into the corporate world, men typically don’t see it

Kendra: A lot

Nicole: A lot of these men will have their businesses solely in their name, funds in their name, everything on their own, and yet women tend not to do the same

Kendra: tell me

Nicole: Can you tell me a little bit about what you’ve seen, I mean, you work with women who are quite wealthy, and how are they with their money in relation to their partners?

Kendra: Yeah, it’s so interesting you say that because I actually used to work with someone who, um, a male and he had assets, all kinds, he had homes, boats that the wife didn’t know about and she had no clue, home, like whole properties.

Yes, absolutely.

Nicole: Rolexes, you buy artwork, you buy these things because you have to put the money somewhere.

Kendra: and, and I’m sure maybe there were times where things were purchased and he just forgot to Mentioned at the dinner table, you know, you know, so it’s possible, but I would venture to say that if that was a woman that went off and brought like bought another property, she probably would have told her spouse at the dinner table, might have mentioned it, you know, Hey, babe,

Nicole: the new home in Aspen

Kendra: Right, you know, and so I do think that there is a difference there. Um, why? Who knows? All kinds of reasons, I’m sure, but, regardless, I do think that, um, individuals, but particularly women need to be very confident in understanding what their financial situation is across the board. And before they are concerned about, does my partner know and understand and respect and agree, they need to just be very clear on what it is.

And there’s a lot of, um, A lot of times, regardless of how much money you’re making, whether your money is on the way, or whether you have it already stashed and stacked up, there’s a lot of fear, I feel like, around just like taking complete ownership of what your financial situation is. and that has to get worked through because you have to be clear on where you are and clear on where you’re wanting to go, but first clear on where you are.

so yeah, I mean, I definitely suggest having someone.

Nicole: a picture and it’s interesting that you say all this because just, you know, full transparency, A lot of women feel, at least in my experience that I’ve seen, that, you know, they kind of blur the line between their business role and their wife role, you know, and they often feel like, well, as a wife, of course, we’re partners, of course, it’s a mutual business.

And what’s interesting is if there’s any part of you that feels weird, whenever you say that in relation to your partner, it might also be telling about your relationship, you know, and so I can easily say that for the entire duration of my marriage. to my husband, you know, I’ll say clearly anytime he would use the phrase, um, partner

Kendra: Mm-Hmm. , or,

Nicole: you know, we’re in this, we’re doing this together or anything like that.

I shut that down so

Kendra: Mm-Hmm

Nicole: and he’ll tell you that too. And I say it with no shame. It’s not something I’m embarrassed about. And people can think any way they want about me. I look back now and I’m like, that is really telling I shouldn’t have even Felt the need to say that to him on a lot of ways. Cause my current guy knows it’s my business.

It’s not even really a conversation. It’s my business. You know, even though he supports me in my business, it’s my business. And you know, my ex at one point worked for me. As an employee, W2’d in my business, but it was always my business. And so he would use the word partner and

Kendra: No,

Nicole: it’s my business.

I was like, and I would literally stop and be like, I just want to be completely clear about your use of partner here.

Kendra: It’s your business. Yeah.

Nicole: Just shut it down.

Kendra: You have to.

Nicole: You have to, you know, and. However, if you have to do that, it’s probably a sign of other things in the relationship. Just letting any of you know, if any of you feel hyper protective about saying that, there may be other conversations that need to be had.

But all that being said, I’m grateful that I was always really clear because that has helped me down the line. And it has also affected the way that I’ve approached the finances. You know, everything’s in my name, everything’s, you know, mine, you know what I mean? And I think that we sometimes, you know, for whatever, for historical reasons.

You know, really will feel the need to

Kendra: feel the need

Nicole: business is separate from the marriage.

Kendra: our partners. The business, you know, the business is separate.

Nicole: of being

Kendra: very clear from the beginning about what business you have, what together you guys have, but the assets and everything that’s with your business is your business.

And I’m just being very clear on that. And also understanding that how much you share about your businesses, financials is also up to you.

You know,

Nicole: standpoint and a relationship standpoint. So obviously neither one of us is relationship experts here, you know, but we’re saying like from a relationship standpoint, you can say, look, this is my business. This is your thing, but also from an accounting standpoint, not mixing those two can really help.

Even if you aren’t saying it out loud, paperwork wise, it’s pretty clear.

Kendra: day to day decisions in the business. Like once you start to, let me think about it. If you’re always asking your partner for advice on like financial advice, or should I hire this person? Should I have that person now? Some things, sure, just to kind of get their thought on. But if you’re always asking them things and making them almost feel like they are a partner in the business and then turn around and say, but no, you know, so it’s just a lot easier to kind of.

Keep things as clear as possible. Now, they’re going to know some aspects of the business anyways, because when they look at a tax return, they’re going to see how much property you’re bringing, right?

Nicole: on the type of business you have. So like I have a business where. You know, if I’m going to a red carpet or if I have a book release, like obviously he knows and he’s parts of it. And I will say like, you know, with Alex, I definitely, Alex, more so than my previous partner, I ask his opinion of things, you know, where I’ll say, you know, this is how I’m looking at it.

Cause I know he looks at things from a

Kendra: I’m really

Nicole: I’m really big on, can I get your opinion on this, which is a clear delineation between. You know, I need your help versus I’m asking your take. And then the other phrase that we use to support each other is solutions or support.

Kendra: That’s

Nicole: You know, so it’s like when one of us starts sort of business venting, it’s do you need solutions or do you need support?

Kendra: Yeah. ’cause

Nicole: are you asking me to give you advice from some business angle or do you just need a space?

Kendra: Oh, that’s good. I need, I need to start that because I dive straight into solutions and I’m sure Ashley sometimes it’s like, I don’t really want to know what you

Nicole: want, they want to suffer.

Kendra: Yeah. Like

Nicole: everyone understands that. And listen, it applies to teenagers. It applies to children, everything.

Do you want solutions for, I even use it with toddlers, you know, do you just need a hug right now? Or do you want me to help? Do you need a hug or do you need help? And so I was like, I just need a hug. And I was like, okay, cool. Let’s

Kendra: work through it. Yeah.

Nicole: So I’m, so, you know, All day, that

Kendra: filling that, filling it,

Nicole: was still, it’s still working on it. So you’re saying that numbers wise, that in a business from an accounting standpoint, being really clear about what we decide to share financially is still up to us and we can change the range on that. And obviously, if I feel nervous about sharing things, accounting wise, that also may be a sign of other

Kendra: Yeah, and I think it’s like less about necessarily like the nerves of it and more about understanding like once you open that door, um, they just might have thoughts and insights. But to your point, maybe you want those thoughts and insights like that might work too. I just don’t, you know, I, I have seen and I hate to see clients who have, um, Open that door to not even just partners, but parents and family members that they’ve kind of brought into the business and then they try to, they try to set the separation and it’s like, yeah, but you’ve already, you’ve given them access to all your bank accounts.

You’ve given them, you know, they’re running payroll for your team. Like, they’re basically a part of your company now and now you’re trying to say, yeah, but you can’t make any decisions. And so it’s just being, I guess, again, intentional from the beginning on what you want that relationship to look like and how you want it to go.

Because, um, once you start bringing folks into your business, it’s uh, it’s hard to

Nicole: at risk,

Kendra: right? Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole: I can’t tell you how many people I have had in my office saying, oh, my sister does this for me or my cousin does this for me and they’re just so good at this part of they used to do HR for this and and the thing is one. Most of the time, they’re not as good as they think, you know, like when I start looking at the work, I’m like, this is actually pretty sloppy work.

It’s just better than what you have done for yourself. So you

Kendra: part is I

Nicole: And the hardest part is I want someone who I can fire, you know, so I’ll have employees who are like, man, you know, working for Nicole, I thought it would be all roses because she’s so grace filled and Baba and I’m like, it’s still a business, you know, and you may not have liked that you thought it was going to be roses.

And I’m like, I’m writing you up and you’re like, go, you know what I mean, but

Kendra: mean? But. Yeah. I’m

Nicole: glad I can do that. It’s harder to do that with

Kendra: So much.

Nicole: I’ve had family members work for me. I’ve had, you know, and it just, it never goes well because there are times where they’re expecting a level of empathy and compassion and grace and extra where it just does not meet the moment of the task.

You feel bad because you want to give it and you can see how it would be appropriate from a sibling standpoint but in terms of the work part you can’t, you know, and then not to mention numbers. God, I don’t want to be responsible for my family’s household income, you

Kendra: and then you might extend that grace for so long and then that might build up resentment because you’re like, okay I’m extending this grace and I’m you know trying to Make sure that you you know still have this income coming in, but you’re not seeing that and you’re still not, you know improving

Nicole: that from like an accounting, because you see the numbers on the back end and the numbers don’t lie, you know, people giving raises or unfair salaries to family members or things like that where it’s like, Why are you paying this person 150K? This job typically goes for 45K.

Okay.

Kendra: Absolutely all the time all the time all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I’ve seen I’ve seen folks in their in their siblings business give themselves a raise without asking the owner of the business.

Nicole: girl. That’s

Kendra: And they’re just like, well, things have happened in my life and I need to make more money and I’m going to pay myself more.

And so they, they went and ran a higher payroll. I mean, it’s, it’s insane the amount of disrespect it absolutely is. And there’s still an employee in the business. So, you know, it just, it makes things a lot harder, you know, and business is already hard enough as it is running a business. So just, you know, be.

It might come in and make more complications unnecessarily and sometimes not all the times. But sometimes hiring family members can just make that harder. You know,

Nicole: well, we’ve covered different, a lot of different aspects of peace in relation to profit, you know, peace within self, you know, of, uh, parenting and feeling good and being willing to let go and peace within our interpersonal relationships with our partners, with our family, with our friends. But I want to talk about peace.

in relation to purpose, right? We talked about the intentionality and knowing where we’re going. And I think that, you know, not to tell all your business, but, I met you when you’re kind of starting out, you know, and which is unbelievable considering where you are now. I mean, you, this woman has built an incredible, wildly profitable, crazily impactful business.

And it’s like, Not to mention family at the same time. When I met her, she was unmarried, no babies. Now she’s like, she’s gonna have a football

Kendra: couple of

Nicole: know, and, you know, she’s got this incredible business, employees, all of that. And one of the things we talk about often now, you know, is kind of, the what’s next, you know, around our peace and our purpose and what gives us peace and knowing how we’re going to show up, you know, babies being kind of the baseline.

That’s our focus for right now. But what do you see for yourself? How does someone still maintain the profits without casting a vision of working forever for themselves?

Kendra: that’s a good question. I mean, honestly, I feel like the business, um, and the accounting work and the CFO work, like, I feel like that’s just going to continue.

And, I have shifted to, um, expanding the team so that I can kind of back out of some of the day to day more, but the, uh, passion of serving women. in their businesses is, is there and will never go anywhere. Like I always want to be there to ensure that women are confident in their numbers, confident in their ability to create strategies and scale their businesses.

So that’s definitely not going anywhere. Um, but yeah, you’re right. I want to be able to do that while growing my family and while You know, having a real maternity leave this time, you know, like, so, yeah, I’m, I’m definitely learning as I’m going on how to, like, find that proper balance. But the, the biggest part for me right now is actually growing up, continuing to grow out that team so that I can back out of that day to day and just continue to support.

Women because women like we’re still the highest number of folks going into entrepreneurship and building businesses. We need the support so definitely going to continue down that

Nicole: do you think is the biggest transformation you’ve seen in yourself from then to now?

Kendra: from like when I first first met you. Oh nicole. How many have?

Nicole: cause here’s the thing, like people are going to follow up and they’re going to see you and they’re going to, cause this is going on YouTube, they’re going to listen to the, you know, they’re going to, you know, they’re going to look you up, they’re going to click and they’re going to see this incredibly composed, you know, I always tell people, I’m like.

You are the epitome of put together and like from the from the outside, you know what I mean? Like put together right like, you know accomplish but and all of that is very true, you know And I think part of working with finances are that people are so nervous with them that you can’t match that energy And I see that a lot in you where it’s like you really know how to remain calm and wise and clear, even if people are coming to you in chaos, you know, and that’s something you do very well and is required for the job.

But little do people know, like when I say, if I could make a list of like the softest,

Kendra: people I know

Nicole: life, you are like top

Kendra: you are like top

Nicole: are all like

Kendra: all like babies, and hugs, and love, and kisses. You

Nicole: you were just like, feels, feels, feels a little do people know, you know, like, you know, that is very much who you are.

And, you know, That has never changed. I think that I saw it a lot more before, you know, to now, because so much has happened. But, transformation wise, what is the number one thing you like about yourself now? You know, that you have grown and blossomed and hope to continue to grow. And then what do you think you’ve lost a little bit? That you kind of Either hope to rediscover or,

Kendra: Yeah. So if transformation wise, I’ll, um, I’ll actually say you had a lot to do with this. When I first, when I first met you, listen, it’s literally that story of when I first met you.

Nicole: I will never forget that

Kendra: I mean,

Nicole: life. I’ll

Kendra: changed my life pre meeting you pre that day. I was still in the closet. Yes. I was not yet married. Course you weren’t.

Nicole: know, you knew how

Kendra: you felt. I know how I felt

Nicole: I tell you, y’all don’t know when I met Kendra that day, she was so in love. I know. Cause I recognize it. Cause that’s how I feel now. This girl was like, I’m in love and I want to marry her. I know it’s going to be a thing. Mind you, they’re married now, got babies, blah, blah, blah.

You know, but as she was like, I don’t know, I have this business and I don’t know what I want to do. I was like, girl,

Kendra: But I was so.

Concerned about what would happen if I told because I was also still incorporated at the time So I hadn’t even told my boss and my boss was amazing and but I was fearful of telling him I was fearful of telling other folks at work I was fearful of telling the social media audience that I had built up for the business and I was like How is this gonna impact the business?

I was just so concerned but yet I saw you on stage living your best life Authentic life, talking about your relationship and your kids. And, you know, I was like, who is this beautiful black woman in this interracial, interracial relationship? Just like,

Nicole: whatever.

Kendra: don’t care what anybody says. This is what it is.

And so that’s literally why I went to that event. And then I got the fact that I got to actually talk to you and attempt to share that story with you through the tears and the, you know, sobbing, you know, I know you’re probably like, okay, wait, what? But okay. Um, but.

Nicole: were engaged like what? A couple months

Kendra: Yeah, I was engaged shortly after, which is when I was like, okay, you got to get this together because people are going to ask you about your fiance and now you have to actually like talk about this.

Um, nobody cared.

Nicole: was such a, like, I mean, when I tell you I was like. You were in tears. I thought you were gonna talk. Tell me something for real. I’m not even gonna lie. I was like, I mean, is she secretly broke to try to help people with finances? Because that’s what it is on this internet. You know what I mean?

I was like, nah, she’s in love. I was like, that’s not the thing. We’re not gonna make that the thing. Please go be in love.

Kendra: But that was the transformation. It was, it was coming out. It was, um, very shortly after then just living 100 percent authentically how I am and, you know, not caring about what the Instagrams and all of that had to say. And, man, like. Just the freedom on the other side of that was

Nicole: for your story too. Have you had any like women reaching out or anyone saying like, you know, just seeing you build this family? I mean, you have such a beautiful, like y’all have not seen her son. Like, listen. I literally am over here, like if you’re trying to cook, like you can crank out one or two of those for me.

I’ve asked you outright. I’ve said, listen, you make very good babies, like very cute. So, I mean, has anyone reached out

Kendra: Yeah, yeah, folks DM me and they’re just like, you know, thanks so much for like being this example and all. And I’m just like, that’s exactly what I was coming to you and saying, you know, thank you so much for being this example of being able to just show up and being you and not really caring, you know, um, because

Nicole: have a problem anyways.

Kendra: Regardless, um, but the, the impact that you had and, and that that meeting with you had and then to be able to like, work with you later as my coach and you know, like,

Nicole: just text all the time. I’m like, tell me the baby thing, girl. Let me tell you how this, can you believe this? Like,

Kendra: Yeah, I, that was definitely the biggest transformation and it’s just, it’s made a huge impact, um,

Nicole: you’re so, you’re so kind. That was really nice of you to come here and say that y’all, like, please, you have no idea, like, Kendra has me out here trying to get my body right, get my life right, have these babies every single day.

Kendra: I can absolutely pinpoint that as being, because pre that date, I was nervous. I was always, you know, I knew that I could do the thing. I could help people in their business. I can do all of that. But I was always like, but what if they ask about your partner? Or what if they ask about your family? And that’s like not a way to be.

Nicole: not the thing, isn’t it wild though when you, cause also let’s just 8 10 years ago, all of us were, It’s amazing, you think in your early 30s that you know something, you don’t know anything. Like, it’s amazing how, like, still, I guess almost 20s, like, you can be in your early 30s, and you don’t realize that until you’re in your early 40s.

And you’re like, oh wow, I was still really a kid. We worry about the wrong things. Like, the only difference in your 30s is that you’re actually doing it, but you’re worried about the wrong, like, the thing you’re most nervous about, you’ll admire someone else doing right, but they’re worried about other things, you know?

Kendra: Yeah. Yeah, that’s

Nicole: kind of you. But when I tell you, I didn’t see what you saw, you know, I was like, this girl’s got it together. And true proof evident happening. Now, if there’s something that you wish you could reclaim from that time, what do you think it would

Kendra: Oh, um, huh.

Nicole: Because so much has changed, you know what I mean? Like, like, I’ll even I’ll give you mine. So the thing that I wish I could reclaim from my 30s, like early 30s, the time that we met that phase, is I wish I could reclaim my tolerance for risk. I feel like I’ve gotten to the point now where it’s like, eh, you know what I mean?

Where it’s like, I will, you know, Take tiny

Kendra: risks if you will, but like between the babies,

Nicole: sort of my age knowing things are changing and maybe it’s just wisdom You know, maybe I’ll look back at 40 and be like, oh no, you were still risky It’s just that you got wise about the risk I don’t know, but when I was in my 30s if someone was like, oh, I’ll meet with you for five minutes I’m hopping on a plane to see you know what I mean?

And now I’m like, well, what do the kids need

Kendra: You know,

Nicole: know, am I tired or what to do? Tuesday giving, you know, like, you know

Kendra: know what I’m talking about. It’s the who all gon be there.

Nicole: you know, I didn’t use that as much. But then, you know, but now it’s like, it really is a thing. And I think there are times where I kind of miss that

Kendra: there are

Nicole: fire about like taking that risk, you know.

Kendra: ability to be very spontaneous. I am not that right now. Like I’m like, if it’s not on the calendar in advance, 100 percent planned out, I need the agenda ahead of time. And while that serves me well in my anxiety, well, you know, um, like I need that, you know, for that reason, you know, my wife would definitely let you know, like, okay, Kendrick, can we just,

Nicole: a little bit.

Kendra: just a little

Nicole: Alex is the same way. Yes. Yeah. What was it? It wasn’t yesterday. It was the day before that. He was like, Oh, I’m coming home early from the studio. Let’s do a date night. Whatever. We get home and you know what happens if you don’t have date night planned, it’s like 830. It’s like,

Kendra: Yeah. We just stay in. Yeah. I,

Nicole: we just stay in? And he’s like, no, let’s go out. We got to get out. We can’t always be in. We got to stay. And I’m like, well, I mean, but if we go out, it’s already nine.

Kendra: If you think about it for more than 15 minutes, it’s like, it’s done.

Nicole: It’s same thing with Netflix. If I have to look for a movie for 50 minutes at this

Kendra: point.

Nicole: Let’s go to bed.

You know, we’ll talk. We’ll stay up in bed on our phones.

Kendra: Right. Well,

Nicole: let’s have a date in bed on our phones. We’ll show we’ll show each other. Tick tocks. Isn’t that fun? You know what I mean? Like, I just, I gotta listen. Let’s not fight. Let’s make a promise right now. We’ll wrap on this to not find ourselves in a rut in three years

Kendra: rut in three

Nicole: flex enough.

We can flex a little bit more.

Kendra: put that in the calendar.

I’ll put a flex space on the calendar

Nicole: If that isn’t us right now, we’re like, all right, cool. Let’s schedule our spontaneity. I love it. I love to see it. Kendra, I love you. I’m so grateful that you’re here. I cannot wait for us to regroup and do this again in a year and we talk about our babies. going to be a blessing. Where can people find you? Where can they follow you? I know for a fact, y’all, please, please, you know, I don’t always send people anywhere. You’ve got to follow Kendra. She is your go to. If you love me for business, you know, things, she is a financial expert who is business minded, business oriented.

She has an incredible team behind her. I actively send her clients, you know, there’s, I send her people for sure. So, tell them where they can find you.

Kendra: the best place is going to be thefinancefem. com. That’s the website. or thefinancefem on Instagram as well.

those are going to be your best

Nicole: Oh, you have a podcast. Let

Kendra: Oh yeah, the podcast, Kendra Nicole podcast. so you can definitely just type in search Kendra Nicole and I’ll be there.

Nicole: Oh, so good. We’ll have the details in the show notes. You guys make sure you follow and Kendra. I cannot wait to have you back. I love you so

Kendra: love you too.

About This Episode
  • How you can achieve profits in your business while maintaining PEACE in your life,
  • What steps you can take to reclaim peace,
  • How Kendra reached her breaking point,
  • What type of financial support you may need in your business and life, and
  • What we’re doing differently now that we know better
Resources and Links mentioned in this episode:
  • Connect with Kendra Nicole HERE and on Instagram @TheFinanceFemme
  • Listen to Kendra’s podcast, The Kendra Nicole Podcast, HERE.
  • Let’s connect over on Instagram and Facebook!
  • Grab my New York Times Bestselling memoir, Nothing is Missing, HERE!
  • Book a 20 min call to see if working together is the right next step for you!
  • Friend I have been finding myself saying, “That is none of my BUSINESS,” lately. Listen to our recent chat about it – Listen here or Watch here
  • I love reading your reviews of the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!
About The Podcast

If you’re looking for the strategies and encouragement to pursue a life of purpose, this is the podcast for you! Week after week Nicole Walters will have you laughing hysterically while frantically taking notes as she shares her own personal stories and answers your DMs about life, business, and everything in between.

As a self-made multimillionaire and founder of the digital education firm, Inherit Learning Company, Nicole Walters is the “tell-it-like-it-is” best friend that you can’t wait to hang out with next.

When Nicole shows up, she shows OUT, so tune in each week for a laugh, a best friend chat, plus the strategies and encouragement you need to confidently live a life of purpose.

Follow Nicole on IG @NicoleWalters and visit inheritlearningcompany.com today and click the button to join our betterment community. Your membership gives you access to a world of people and tools focused on helping you build the life you want.