Nicole:

Hey friends, so I don’t know if you can hear the smile s slash giggle in my voice, if you will. This is a very, incredibly special chat that we’re having. And I will say that, you know, it’s still clean and polite and all that stuff, but we will be talking about relationship things that are of the adult persuasion, and frankly, I have a guest that I have no idea what they’re gonna say. So it’s going to be exciting, it’s going to be fun, but just in case you got some tiny ears in the room, this may be a headphone chat.

So, friends, as you know, I have been on quite the journey over the past two years, particularly around starting over in a relationship. I was married for 12 years, and separated and began the divorce journey two years ago. And now I am hardly on the other side of it. Who knows if you ever really are, but I am in love. And now that love has returned, it has changed my life. And as you know, I’ve shared all about how I’ve been on the healing journey and how I met someone new and I’ve shared a little bit about who they are. And if you follow me around social media on Instagram at NicoleWalters, you had an opportunity to experience the big reveal, if you will, where I shared his name. And I am so excited because today I actually get to introduce you to him. And he’s joining us for our chat. So if you’re just following along, I am so excited for you to meet my misterfella, Alex.

Alex:

Hello.

Nicole:

Hi, Alex. I’m glad you’re here today. Hi. Is it weird for me to call you Alex on the thing?

Alex:

That’s my name.

Nicole:

But it’s just we always talked about how there’s a thing, you know, in relationships. You don’t call the person by their name name.

Alex:

I mean, it’s true, but we can’t be on here like, Baby this, baby that. .

Nicole:

No. Yeah, we can’t be unless we’re having a fight. BABE.

Alex:

Then it’s Alex.

Nicole:

Alex, okay, enough cuteness. Okay, so no, y’all, we are excited to chat with you. Because I had so much feedback and so many people in the DMs who are like, what? Plot twist! Who is this guy, and we have news to share. So before we get to the news, I wanted to start off by, you guys have heard my story of how we met, our first date, all the things, and I wanted to give you a chance to hear from him. So I’m going to interview this fella. I have no idea. Literally no idea what to say. He goes rogue. So,

Alex:

I’ll try to keep it. Keep it keep it, keep it together.

Nicole:

Your laughs make me uncomfortable. I know what I mean. I know don’t say I know that’s uncomfortable. I’m like deep. I’m like What is he about to say? So I’m going to interview him so that you guys can meet him and then we’re going to do a couple of cute questions. We’ll see how that goes. You know those cheesy things that people do but you know so you guys can learn a little bit more about how I’ve managed to land this fella. And then of course, we will tell you our big news. So the first thing, people always want to know how we met. And what’s interesting was when I started talking about you, and people were trying to kind of like figure out who you were on social media. I told them as one of those sort of many clues that they’d already met you. And plot twist of the year if you guys have been following along on the podcast, Alex was a guest earlier in the season.

Alex:

Yeah, I was on earlier in the season. And that was really fun.

Nicole:

It was really fun. And what you guys may not know was at that time we were already dating. That’s right into dating and produce right now. It’s like, all these things. So, um, so yeah, so we were already dating we, how many dates was it by then? It wasn’t a lot it was We’d only been together for three months, two months ish, something, something like that. Something like that. And so I would say it’s a couple of dates.

On our first day, I described in detail how I wasn’t sure when I first came in. I was like, I don’t know, if I’m feeling it. I didn’t even really feel like being on a date and I have like the best energy. And then I almost left in the middle of it. But whenever I tell you about that, you said that you didn’t feel that energy at all.

Alex:

Not at all. Not at all. Because when we were on a first date, I like the vibes were good. I mean, maybe just because you’re Nicole Walters, you’re just such a good speaker. And your energy is always so positive. You’re delightful. So on this side of things, I was like, this dates going great, like we’re in good conversation. There’s not a dead moment. Yeah.

Nicole:

Okay, so let’s go. Let’s go back to move forward. So I always told everyone that I wasn’t looking for anyone, like I went out in the dating pool. I was like, oh, there’s pee in the water. And then I came back and I was like, I’m not doing this. And then I kind of like started tiptoeing back in. And I mentioned that I was online, and I was kind of looking around. But nothing really committed, like date here, date there, but right. What about you? I don’t, I mean, we met online, right? Like, that was kind of our initial thing, but we didn’t spend a lot of time there. So what was it like for you? Were you online looking for someone?

Alex:

So um, yeah. I wasn’t really looking for someone per se. I mean, I was just, you know, trying to see what was out there again, you know.

Nicole:

What do you mean again?

Alex:

Well, I mean, I was in something. I was getting out of something that I was in for, I don’t know, year and a half ish. And then once I was out of that, then I was like, Okay, let me kind of read date or let me relook what’s out there and see so I got on originally got on Tinder.

Nicole:

Y’all should see right now. He looks like he is sweating bullets. Are you nervous?

Alex:

No, no, no. So originally, so originally, I got Tinder not Tinder. Yeah, originally got back on Tinder because I don’t know what to use for y’all. Well, if you don’t remember, I was on Tinder. I was with somebody for years. For about five years.

Nicole:

You’re a serial monogamist, love a relationship.

Alex:

I was with somebody for about five years and I met her on Tinder.

Nicole:

No, you didn’t. I didn’t know that. Yeah. Oh, I didn’t even know people use Tinder like that.

Alex:

Well, that was when it was new and cool.

Nicole:

I don’t know about that. Tinder to me is like the Walmart to the target. Like I can’t Tinder I can’t I feel like I feel like it’s for the young folk that are looking for a particular situation that I don’t have the flexibility for.

Alex:

That’s what it is now. It is now and I didn’t know like there’s nothing going on in Tinder.

Nicole:

And so Oh, really? It’s not I know. It’s not really on Tinder any. So I don’t know. But everything isn’t aren’t all the apps kind of like Tinder now they all work differently. Oh, I thought they were all like if they have swipe left or swipe right. That’s what Tinder is.

Alex:

No, they all work differently, which is why then I talked to my buddy and he said that he had success some success on Bumble and that he had met somebody he like, loves and is really into and stuff.

Nicole:

Is he still with that person?

Alex:

I think he is.

Nicole:

Oh, find out!

Alex:

And I was like, You know what, let me give Bumble a try. And Bumble works differently because the male cannot initiate the conversation. It’s the female that has to start it.

Alex:

That’s what I liked. It was like I really,

Nicole:

Oh you liked that!

Alex:

Oh, it made my job so much easier. Interesting. I never know how to start.

Nicole:

Oh, really? Awkward. You’re so extrovert. I’m surprised that you say that.

Alex:

Yeah it’s like what do you say?

Nicole:

That’s so funny. What’s weird about that is that I know that when I got onto Bumble, I liked having the conversation but the number one reaction I got from anyone that I like was like, oh, maybe I’ll say something to this person was, Oh, you didn’t just say like, Hi. Or what are you? Why D which means what are you doing? That’s what the youth say.

Alex:

It’s not It’s what you’re doing. Oh, it’s like what you’re doing.

Nicole:

I thought it was like, What are you doing? Yeah. See, that’s I mean to do it. I’m not that hip. So, but yeah, when you got my message, and you were like, she’s a catch.

Alex:

Immediately, yes. I saw your first, I was like, I want to marry that girl.

Nicole:

Aww. You’re like, no that’s not the move. Okay, so what happened?

Alex:

But, yeah, I got your message. And I clearly think you’re an extroverted person. You seem fun. Your pictures, you know.

Nicole:

What did I say? Guys? Let me see. Let me do you still have the app?

Alex:

Oh, my God. No, I do. Oh, did you know that?

Nicole:

I just didn’t delete it. Let me see if I even have it. I remember that our first message was that I reached out to and I just said something like, Hey, so I just moved here. And, you know, I’m loving living in LA. But, you know, just making friends are kind of crazy. And I see that we matched. So what are you into the standard? I think I said what are the standard questions people say like, where are you in the city? Because that can break or break a friendship.

Alex:

Yeah. And where’s your favorite taco? Where’s your favorite taco spot? When’s the last time that you had rain? Because you need it?

Nicole:

Right. Yeah, like typical California things. Like I’m a total nerd, but you responded to it?

Alex:

Yeah, I did. I did. Because I like banter. And I feel like we have good banter. And that’s, like, always a great thing. But it was like, right away. You know, it just felt immediate, that we had that. And that was really cool. And then fast forwarding, you know, we went on our first date.

Nicole:

Pretty quickly. I wouldn’t say that we spent a lot of time talking. And I think this is important for those you guys who are trying to wonder how dating goes like, we didn’t spend…

Alex:

Well, when you first met, especially because when you first sent me my message I had COVID.

Nicole:

Yeah. And I was I was not trying. I was like, I’m trying to do this, right.

Alex:

We matched and you were like, you trying to hang out. And then I was like, um, I’d love to, but like, I got COVID.

Nicole:

Yeah. And I was like, Okay.

Alex:

And then I was trying to like push conversations. I was like, I gotta push conversation through like the next 10 days through quarantine, so you have momentum by the time we see each other.

Nicole:

Because you don’t want me to fall off.

Alex:

I don’t want you to fall off. Oh, yeah, I wanted to try to keep it going. And so anyway, when we went on our first date, and we got sushi, and it was just kind of like a halfway point between where we were. And it just, it was just a really good date, I had good feelings about it. I know you clearly seem to have different thoughts.

Nicole:

So just to be clear to your face. It’s not that I might fit your face, like you know, like, to your face and in front of my friends and everything. It’s not that I didn’t like you. I just You were so different. I’ve said this, like all my girlfriends are saying now they heard me say this already. Like I already said that I wasn’t sure about an extrovert. You know what I mean? Like, I just wasn’t sure about someone who’s extroverted. I wasn’t sure about someone you were just so different from I been striking out because honestly, I was dating people who were like my ex, you know, like, people were introverted, people who were quiet people who were, you know, just had a different personality, you know, because I felt that that was what I needed.

But that didn’t really make sense. If, you know, a struck out there. Right. So when I you just seemed like a lot to me. And I was like, I think that the both of us would be too much.

Alex:

I am a lot, you’re not wrong.

Nicole:

That’s true, too. You know, and I just didn’t know if that would work. You know, I don’t know, but our a lot-ness matches in the right areas.

Alex:

Yeah, it does. So yeah, I mean, it was just like, good conversation. And it went really well. And then, I mean, after that date, then we spent the next three days.

Nicole:

Well, that will first date. I think. When we parted ways.

Alex:

We parted ways. And then you texted me on the way home.

Nicole:

Oh, oh, we’re saying? Oh, yeah.

Alex:

Oh, yeah. We’re saying Oh, my God, because it went cuz you texted me on the way home. You finally peaced out and then and then you text me on the way home. I was like, Oh, she liked me.

Nicole:

So what I said just so you guys all know because he’s making it seem like a thing. It was a thing. It was a thing, so we parted ways. And I’ll just be honest, like, like he gave me a kiss. And I was like, huh, like I felt like a little thing, I guess I don’t know. And when I was driving home, I was like, how weird is that? Like, just because…

Alex:

You said I didn’t expect that.

Nicole:

That’s what I texted you. I said, I didn’t expect that. Like it just caught me off guard and I didn’t expect it.

Alex:

And I felt the same thing. And it also caught me off guard, because I wasn’t really looking for you know, anything, either. I was like, let me go see what’s up with her. Yeah, you know. And then after that, it was the next three days. We talked on the phone for six hours.

Nicole:

It was literally it was that night like, I like we got back to the like, I think he checked to see if it got at home or something like that. We talked for hours. And I was like, yeah, and then we stayed up until probably like, 3am-4am. Yeah.

Alex:

The next two days. Same thing. Same thing. Yeah. And I was like, you know, it’s definitely may be different for you because you’re a good talker. But I’m a pretty decent talker, too. Like, you don’t mean it’s a rare thing when you can do have conversations go for six hours.

Nicole:

Yeah. Well, and it didn’t feel like that.

Alex:

It didn’t feel like that. And it was again, no dead space. It was just fun. It was just like all this thing. I was like, what is happening here?

Nicole:

Yeah. Okay, so what were you telling your friends while this was happening?

Alex:

Um, I was telling my friends while I was telling my roommate at the time. Yeah. Shout out Matt. What’s up, bro?

Nicole:

What happened?

Alex:

While I was telling him that I just like met this amazing girl. And it went so well. And I was like, I like it was like after the first day, or the second time we got off the phone. And I was just like, I’m gonna be with this girl. I was like, I’m gonna make sure you know, I’m gonna do everything I can. You’re like, I’m gonna be with this girl, I like her.

Nicole:

That’s very sweet. Y’all just let you know. So just a little side note, he had no idea who I was like.

Alex:

Oh, no clue. I remember having a conversation. messaging that was like, she said she did something in entertainment.

Nicole:

Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I’m kind of an entertainment. Like, I’m in the industry. You’re in the industry. That doesn’t mean anything in LA.

Alex:

Nothing. Yeah, I was like, Well, what part of the industry and I was like, I remember saying something cheesy, like, so cheesy. I was like, with a smile like that you should be on TV. And little bit and little did I know.

Nicole:

She’s like, Oh, I was like, I do that sometimes.

Alex:

I’m like, Who are you?

Nicole:

Yeah. And I was like, Well, you know, I work in finance. And I have like a, you know, business. I just kind of kind of left it at that.

Alex:

I mean, for weeks. Yeah.

Nicole:

I know, you were like, what’s your Instagram? And I was like, I don’t really do social.

Alex:

I didn’t even have her on Instagram. I had the couple pictures on Bumble.

Nicole:

Yeah, like, was that weird for you?

Alex:

It was weird. I mean, I was like, clearly you did something cool. I didn’t know what it was right.

Nicole:

You know what’s weird. It’s because one being in LA, you just want to be mindful. Because everyone also, the other issue I had with you was the fact that you’re in the industry. You know, like, I was like, I don’t know, if I want to be with someone who is a professional musician, and works in, you know, I mean, you work on movies, you work on albums, you know, and I just, you have to be so careful, you know, to make sure that people aren’t going to think because that you’re going to leverage your relationship. You know, like, I wanted someone who, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, you know, but I did want to make sure that I was with someone that I could have a good time with and feel safe. You know?

Alex:

Right. And well, that’s always been my thing. I mean, ever since high school, too, is that like, I don’t really care who you are. It’s like, if you’re cool, you’re cool. And if you’re not, and, you know, I’ve met plenty of connected people.

Nicole:

It’s such a non-thing for you. And just, absolutely, I just didn’t know. And also, you’re a local, so like you grew up here. So literally, you’re not affected by any of the things but all that and also you have your own career in your own right. I think that’s the other part too, is like, I didn’t realize that sometimes being with someone who is in your industry actually works really well. Like it seems it works really well for us.

Alex:

Yeah, because neither of us have conventional schedules. And so it’s like it says we don’t have a nine to five. It’s like we do get to spend. I mean, as busy as we are, we do get to spend an odd amount of time together.

Nicole:

That is true, like hours a day. Like I think more than most couples because it’s not like that nine to five situation.

Alex:

We’re still working doing our thing.

Nicole:

Yeah, but then again, the trade off is if you’re on tour, and I’m on a speaking gig like we could be apart for a week or two weeks or whatever else. I mean, I guess it’s kind of it probably evens out, honestly.

Alex:

I guess I guess.

Nicole:

Yeah, so fast forward. When did you know after how many dates, did you know, okay, I want her to be my girlfriend or we’re doing a thing for real. I mean, you said he knew on the first thingy.

Alex:

Well, I knew I knew I wanted to be like with you. You know, I was definitely in denial a little bit.

Nicole:

No not, denial?

Alex:

I don’t know what the word is like. I guess a little resistant.

Nicole:

Why were you resistant?

Alex:

Well, because I guess after my last thing, I was like, there was part of me where I was like, I really like this girl. I want to like be with her. And I want to see what happens here. And then there was the other side of me that was like, you know, I was in something not that long ago. And I was like, I want to be single for three years. Yeah. So just do my thing. Say do my thing and hustle and work really hard for sure. focused and you know, all that stuff. And but it just developed into what it developed into.

Nicole:

Well, let’s talk about that. So at what point are you like,

Alex:

Tell me more about that!

Nicole:

Stop acting like you know me So at what point were you like, okay, that’s me, my girlfriend?

Alex:

I forgot how long into when I asked you, I forgot to I don’t know, I think it might have been like a month?

Nicole:

Yeah, it was probably around then.

Alex:

I think we’d like dated like, pretty consistently for like a month. And then I asked you like that party.

Nicole: Yeah.

Alex:

Yeah, I was at a party and then just had a moment alone. Yeah, I officially asked you, pop that question.

Nicole:

Gosh, yeah, it wasn’t that question Yeah, okay. And when you asked me to be your girlfriend, were you thinking, just sort of okay, she’s just gonna be my girlfriend for a while, like or because I you know, for my friends who are listening, I didn’t grow up where you like, have my parents are African very traditional. You don’t have dating and you don’t do that. The person you bring home to meet your parents, that’d be the person you gonna marry, it’s like that.

So, I mean, I pretty much never dated anyone for longer than six months, maybe, you know, before it was either not a thing at all, or I married them. The only two boyfriends ever had one of them. Not with the other one I married right and stayed with her for 12 years, you know? So, for you, you know, like, when you ask someone to and this is just me. I’m just asking a general question. When you are asking someone to be your girlfriend, what were what was your intention behind that? Because it was so new. Like, I was still I think back to that time. There’s so much you still didn’t know.

Alex:

I’m sure. But like, I wouldn’t have asked you that unless I had intentions to like, be with you. Okay, and just you.

Nicole:

I appreciate your intention.

Alex:

That was my intention.

Nicole:

I appreciate your attention. Received.

Alex:

Received. Yes, good.

Nicole:

So fast forward. We’ve not been together for a year ish. And it’s been good. I’d like to think. Yeah, you can. Nodding guys. That pause was really long. He was nodding I swear. Oh, my gosh, but a lots happened to me. It’s been amazing.

Alex:

No, it’s been amazing. It has been an eventful year.

Nicole:

It has, so much has happened. I mean, I think that I guess I’ll ask pretty honestly, what’s it like dating someone who has an ex from divorce? You know what I mean? I’ve got that’s one element. What’s that like for you? Because there are a lot of devotees out there who are like, how do they find their young hot tenderoni?

Alex:

Is that what I am?

Nicole:

Yes tenderoni. Y’all, for the aunties out there, he doesn’t even understand that reference. Bless his heart. Go ahead.

Alex:

What’s that like? I mean, it definitely presents its difficulties.

Nicole:

Challenges, sure.

Alex:

It’s, it’s weird. It’s not hard on me. It’s hard on me because it’s hard on you. You know what I mean? And I hate seeing how the whole process and how it affects you. And in turn that affects me more than anything.

Nicole: Sure.

Alex:

You know what I mean? Like, I don’t really care as much that you’re going through a divorce. I mean, I remember when you told me about it. I was like, like, hey, yeah, you actually told me what was going. I was like, okay, yeah, you literally, like you could have just told me.

Nicole:

Yeah, because it was so complex. It was just, I mean, there’s even a level and I’ve talked about it on it of like acceptance that you have to go through yourself. And it’s hard to say because divorce, I think has such a feeling of rejection attached to it. And here I am, you know, I found somebody that I really want and that seems really want me and I’m coming off of something where I wasn’t wanted, you know, and so it’s really hard to say out loud, hey, by the way, like you’re taking something that someone cast off like, I hope you’re okay with that. You know what I mean? And so it was it was it’s hard to say that out loud and I do appreciate that you were so not just understanding about it, you’re pretty enthusiastic about like so I’m gonna be first in line then Right? That’s what’s happening right now. Like that’s the energy you’ve always treated me with like, Yay for me, you know, I don’t need you out there. I appreciate that. But, ya know, that was that was tough and it’s hard to hear that it’s hard for you, but…

Alex:

Yeah, when I see how the whole process affects you, you know, you get down or stressed or whatever it is,

Nicole:

Yeah, divorce is hard.

Alex:

You know, and I love you so much. So I don’t want to see you in pain or, you know, dealing with stuff.

Nicole:

I’m glad that you’re able to help with that. Yeah, thanks. And then, also, obviously, I’m a mom, and I have so many, you know, friends that are moms or, you know, have other attachments and things of that sort that they’re like, oh my gosh, no one’s gonna want me because of this. So what’s that like, for you? You know, Is that where you can be honest, you know, like, I know, we’ve talked about it, but you know, I think people need to hear what is it really like for you?

Alex:

Sure. Okay, so when you told me about how they came to be in your life, I mean, obviously, I was like, who are you? Like, you’re this amazing person, like all this stuff? Like who does that? You know, like, who does all that?

Nicole:

I am strange.

Alex:

Nobody does that So, but it was amazing. And so, being totally honest, on this side of things, you know, stepping into a situation? Yeah.

Nicole:

Like, did you ever think you would date someone who had children?

Alex:

Oh, God, absolutely not.

Nicole:

Had you ever? No?

Alex:

No, I always said that I wouldn’t.

Nicole:

So you outright were like, that’s not something I want.

Alex:

Right, it was just like, I do not want to date somebody with kids. I’m not ready to step into that role. Like, you know, like a stepdad roll like whatever it may be sure. I wasn’t really ready. But I think there was some comfort in the fact that they’re like, older.

Nicole:

Yeah, that’s true. It was easier to understand what you were coming into, because they were fully formed in a way, I guess, you know.

Alex:

Yes, they’re fully formed. A couple of them are out of the house.

Nicole:

That’s true. It’s not like, so when I say three kids, it’s true. Or you’re not walking into three kids. But I do want all my friends who are listening to understand that, I want you to know that my situation has its own levels of complexity. So if you’re one of you know, my friends who’s on here saying, Well, I have three kids under the age of six, who’s gonna take me. Somebody will take you as you are, because I have a very complex situation and bless it, Alex still takes it.

Alex:

And I have, I mean, I have friends who have married women with two previous kids or three, or like, whatever it may be, because they just love that person. So it’s totally possible, you know, different strokes for different folks, you know, whatever. But, um, for me, in this particular situation, it just did make it easier. That couple were out of the house. And then there’s Ally who Yeah, 11 and she’s so awesome.

Nicole:

She is.

Alex:

She’s the best, Ally is like the best. She’s so funny. And she’s smart. And she’s like witty and we can like talk trash.

Nicole:

Yeah, you guys have your own angle, and it’s really cool. And you’re good with her. You know, like for the for the people who followed me for some time and call themselves internet aunties. You know, and you are have been part of our extended family for so long. Just so you know, Alex is really good with her like you are, you are very, very good with drop offs and pickups and colds and flu and you’re so attentive.

Alex:

I mean, it has been a learning process because…

Nicole:

Oh talk about that.

Alex:

I mean, I’ve never Dad-ed before.

Nicole:

Yeah. sure, sure.

Alex:

So it is kind of stepping into that dad role.

Nicole:

There is no in between. I think that a lot of times people think that, oh, well, you know, I’ll hold all the weight or whatever. But the truth is, if this person is going to be in your life, you know, it’s just really difficult to have them there and pretend especially if you’re a single mom pretend like there isn’t some element of Hey, um, you know, I have to step out of the room, can you put dinner down for them? You know, like, there’s just no way to pretend like they’re not their babysitter.

Alex:

There just was definitely a moment where I realized that I was like, very in love with you. And I wanted to be with you regardless of you know, not regardless of what that came with. But I mean, whatever it came with you, like I welcomed all of it. You know if I could be with you, you know? So I was happy. I was happy to step into this role, especially because she’s such a cool kid. I mean, I lucked out. I mean, if I you know what I mean? Out of all the people dating someone with a kid, you know, I got to be with you, who’s like this amazing person. And then with Ali, who’s that super cool kid, she’s responsible. She doesn’t argue. She does all our homework. She goes to bed on time.

Nicole:

I mean, she’s better than either one of us was.

Alex:

Which I guess is sure, I guess kind of leads into the…

Nicole:

Oh, the news. Right, right. Right. Right. Well, before we get to the news, I love it. You gotta you gotta just keep it going. I love you so much. love so much. About love, right? I think another question that always comes up, because these are also based on questions that people always ask, like, they’re wanting to know, like, Well, what about with kids? And what about with this and all of that, you know,

Alex:

And it’s hard, but honestly, it’s, it’s been so good for me also, like, I mean, you know, being a musician, we have late nights, crazy schedules, whatever. I have never woken up so early, so consistently, when I was a week straight, and I woke up at 7am. Yeah, I was like, Who knew there was so much time in the day.

Nicole:

And you’re gonna use it all because that kid is coming home in a couple of hours.

Alex:

Oh, my God, when I got, I got so much done that week, and I’ve been in, you know, lately, I’ve just been so productive, so much more productive, because there’s just so much more time in the day, because I’m kind of, I mean, I’m forced to get up earlier, but now, but now I can’t even sleep in that late anymore. Because I’m like, I’m gonna lose out all this time. It’s just a different mentality of now I don’t have the availability of, let me do some work. And then I’ll take a break and watch an episode on Netflix or, you know, whatever, play a game on my phone while I take a break or something like, I don’t have time to do any of that anymore. And it’s so much better for me.

Nicole:

Sure. Kids change you!

Alex:

I mean, your days are now planned to the tee, you know, we sit down to do calendars all the time.

Nicole:

But it’s all based around sort of what’s going to help us all move forward, what’s good for the kid, what’s you know, I mean, she’s, it’s weird, it’s like, your kid is not the center of attention, but they are the priority, you know, so it’s like this sort of, you know, interesting dynamic that happens, and I just am really grateful that one, I even get to have your partnership, you know, because I will not lie, it is so much easier, you know, with a partner, especially if you have the right partner, or you have a good partner and a willing partner and someone who wants both of you. You know, I’m trying to not get teary about it, but you know, it’s just very meaningful. So that on the other side. What’s it like dating and this is like, another question, I get a lot, you know, what’s it like dating someone who makes so much more money than you? Because that’s also a big thing. You know, people ask all the time, they say, Nicole, I struggle to find a partner, because, you know, I make a million dollars, or I am always the higher earner, you know, and the thing I accepted a long time ago for me was, it’s very unlikely that I will meet a billionaire. Do you know what I mean? And I am a billionaire. I just, you know, haven’t collected all my money. You know, so if I know that this is where I’m headed, then I need to be really okay with recognizing that money is definitely not what matters here. And, I mean, you make great money, we always joke about how you’re only California poor, you know.

Alex:

There’s a difference between being LA broke, just broke, broke, broke, broke. Right, and the same money I make now I can live real comfortable somewhere else in the country.

Nicole:

Just about anywhere else in the country you could live a very nice life. But yeah, but all that being said, you know, I always knew that it was unlikely but I’m curious you know, and I think a lot of you know, my friends want to know, what’s that dynamic? Like, you know, being with someone that you know, you can still provide for a woman no matter what you know, a man is a man one way or another. But how do you feel about that dynamic? Is that weird for you? What do you think for other women?

Alex:

It wasn’t, it’s not that strange. I mean…

Nicole:

When did you even notice?

Alex:

When did I notice?

Nicole:

Yeah, because like I first of all, you know me, I eat cheese. you were shocked that I shopped at target you were like you shop at you get clothes at Target. I was like, oh do I?

Alex:

Little did I know your obsession with target.

Nicole:

It’s deep. It runs deep. I picked target over you any day, but…

Alex:

I wouldn’t blame you.

Nicole:

But that said, when you first came over to my place, which ladies just let you know was not on the first date, or the second date, or the third date don’t you cough. Don’t you try to make something it’s not. You will not make me Listen, I have older babies, and I have a standard for them. Also, y’all, I’m saved now. Next. So when you came to my place you were like, because it’s a beach house.

Alex:

Yeah. It’s very nice. I mean it’s nicer than any of my friends have. I mean, it’s nice. I remember I was like, what do you do?

Nicole

I smuggle. Ya know, so, um, but then how did you feel like, because a lot of women will say to me, they’re like, Nicole, I cannot believe you found someone because so many men are intimidated.

Alex:

Oh, yeah. No, I wasn’t. I mean, I don’t really care about that. I mean, for me, I was like, that’s amazing that you’ve worked hard, so hard. And you know, and you’ve had tis success. And that’s awesome, you know.

Nicole:

That’s something you’ve always said that work ethic is really important to you.

Alex:

Work ethic has always been super important to me. And I’ve always tried to align myself with people who have that work ethic, you know. So, I mean, I was super impressed with you. And I was like, I was like, wow, like, she’s amazing. But in terms of like, the dating process, yeah, with somebody who has more money than Yeah, how we handle it, how we handle it. I mean, the thing for me is that I don’t ask you for anything, anything. Like I never asked you for, for anything or to pay for anything. I’ll often pay for meals on paper, when we go out and do stuff. It’s like, I still make my own money. And I still work really hard to make my own money and you contribute, and I contribute, and I decide how to spend my own money when, you know, it’s not that she needs me to pay for a meal or movie tickets or a date or whatever it is. But you know, if I, you know, man’s gonna be a man, sometimes.

Nicole:

I appreciate that.

Alex:

I might today, I’m gonna treat my baby.

Nicole:

Like, a large popcorn? You spoil me. Okay, he’s got money. It’s true, though.

Alex:

But put that candy back, though, because that’s too much.

Nicole:

That’s fine. I think we could share a soda just to get the water. No, he’s really good to me. And I appreciate that. And honestly, ladies, like, you know, I’m gonna go ahead and issue a statement to both of us, right, or to both sides of it, right? One, you don’t need to accept a man who’s not willing to get off their butt, get a job, work, pay bills, and you know, show up and be a provider. And understand that being a provider doesn’t just look like cutting certain checks or, you know, buying you handbags or, you know, putting you on jets or things like that, you know, I’ve dated guys like that. And, you know, it’s short lived, you know what I mean? Because they start thinking that a handbag actually replaces compassion.

But what I can tell you, there are so many women who think that love is represented by material goods, or material experiences, or things that they’re able to show to their friends or their family or what have you. And I mean, honestly, you can’t see the forest for the trees because you’re missing what actually matters, and that someone who’s present and that cares, and that loves you, and that is committed and dedicated. And there when it’s hard, and they’re when it’s good and sees the best of you and that you cannot pay for.

So all that said, I know that we have some news that we want to share. But before we do, do you have anything that you think I want to ask a couple like rapid fire questions, kind of which this is typical on a podcast, I never ever do this, but I’m totally going to do it here because they’re funny in our situation.

Alex:

Okay.

Nicole:

So I’m just gonna ask you a couple of questions, random questions and see what the answer is because I know that this is what people want to know. First of all, do I have any weird habits that you discovered once we got together?

Alex:

There are two things actually. Wait two,what. Two things. All right. One way you put on deodorant. You don’t need to put on deodorant. onto your ribs all the way down to like your spread.

Nicole:

I do go through deodorant though I started realizing I think I go through it more than others. Now I coat myself thoroughly. I’m telling you, it is like ribcage to elbow. It’s literally what it looks like. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t ever have a situation. I lock and seal that entire pit area down, okay? With pride.

Alex:

And God, I love you. And you can decide whether to keep this or not. But I mean, you are so smart, and you’re so successful. And you’re all these amazing things. I love you. But Lord, you still can’t put on pants.

Nicole:

I cannot. That is something people don’t know. And I fall.

Alex:

And when I say fall, I mean, hit the ground every single time.

Nicole:

Every time you know how people say that saying, what is it? You gotta put your pants on one leg at a time.

Alex:

She skips that step.

Nicole:

You know what it is? I will I will I will honestly say here’s what happened. I take such a long time to get ready, right? Yeah, like I mean, I can get any kind of quick-ish. But like, you know, usually I’m procrastinating or working to the last minute. So I’m rushing to get out of the door. And because I’m rushing to get out of the door. I tried to do this thing, where I just jump into my pants.

Alex:

I love this justification.

Nicole:

I’m not. I’m explaining. Is this not true? Is this not true? Like, we’re like I’m rushing to get out the door. And I’m like, and you’re like, go go go, you know, we’re late. And then I’m like, I have to run I have to jump in them. And then I jump in them. And then I trip usually because I’ve tried to like run or I’m trying to walk and put them on. And every time I forget this is not, slow down. So yes, you’re right. I struggle to put on pants.

Alex:

So I think those might be the two big things.

Nicole:

Is there any major pet peeve that you have about my behavior? Anything that I do like that super annoying?

Alex:

Pet peeve? I don’t know if it’s a pet peeve. But I guess I guess there’s because you’re such you’re such a good communicator. And you’re, and you’re so good at getting it out of people with the whole. Tell me more about that. Sometimes I don’t want to tell you more about that.

Nicole:

Oh, sometimes you don’t want to talk feels.

Alex:

I don’t want to talk feels. I want to sit there and be moody. Or something.

Nicole:

I remember when you were like I love playing games on dates. And I was like, Oh, I love games too. Like I have this great game we should play.

Alex:

Oh yeah.

Nicole:

Oh what was the game?

Alex:

It was like this card game all about like this really heavy emotional baggage.

Nicole:

It was emotional questions. And I was like, isn’t this great? I’m learning so much about you. Like tell me a little bit about your childhood. When did you feel the least loved? Go?

Alex:

I know. Wow it’s so fun.

Nicole:

I know you were like, this is terrible. Let’s never do this again. And I was like, But aren’t we growing as people?

Alex:

We’re growing, great. Okay, we’re gonna play my game now.

Nicole:

It was like Nintendo.

Alex:

Set up my switch.

Nicole:

I know. You’re like let’s play Mario Brothers and it was terrible. Okay, and then, what is your favorite thing about my face?

Alex:

Are you gonna look at me like, okay. Favorite thing I like about your face. I can’t even pick, I think all of it.

Nicole: No boo.

Alex:

Alright, I’d have to say your eyes because you look like a real life anime. They’re upside down.

Nicole:

It’s so funny because it’s not what people usually say.

Alex:

Eyes and lips.

Nicole:

Oh, this is a children. I told you guys headphone alert.

Alex:

Sorry. I meant by lips, I meant your smile.

Nicole:

Y’all a mess. Okay, and then final question before we reveal our big news. Where do you see this whole thing going?

Alex:

Wow, put me on the spot, huh?

Nicole:

I mean, hey, that’s what everyone else wants to know, by everyone else. I mean, why would I bring you on my podcast with a mic in a studio, in front of my producer and not take advantage of this opportunity?

Alex:

That’s fair. That’s fair enough. Well, I already know where this is going. I knew two months in. I knew two months in and when we had a conversation over what we wanted in our future, you know, about like family and just like all this stuff. I mean, yeah, I’m gonna marry you. 100%. That’s my intention. That’s what’s going to happen. And it’s so weird because I mean, I’ve been with people for, I was in five year relationships to your relationships and stuff like that. And I never had that inclination to want to like, really, really get married and have kids and..

Nicole:

Oh, you want babies?

Alex:

Oh, yeah, I want babies. Oh, I want babies. Heads up.

Nicole:

Oh my gosh, oh, my gosh, you are the worst.

Alex:

But, um, but yeah. That’s my intention. And I knew that, probably like two months.

Nicole:

Oh my gosh, see that. And I can also tell you ladies, like, if you’re listening on that one, which that’s sweet. I love you all those things. I already knew that he was gonna say that. But ladies, I just wanna let you know that that intentionality I think a lot of people think that men don’t come like this anymore, or that they play a lot of games or that, you know, guys are only interested in swiping right or, you know, that sort of thing. And I just want to let you know, that interested men act interested. And that’s something that my friend Demetrio always used to say is that, like know, if a guy has the intention to be with you, he will treat you like that he will act like that. He will say it and it will show up in everything he does.

Alex:

And I think that now that you know I have you and I’m with you, I am working hard all the time to keep you.

Nicole:

Which is really sweet. Because you know I’m not going anywhere. Like have you seen what he looks like?

Alex:

But that shows up whether it’s you know, waking up in the morning.

Nicole:

Yeah. See now was just saying the surprise! Surprises y’all. We live together. Yeah, it’s not even real news. Interesting now it’s like, oh, it’s obvious. Now I know, the truth is not only do we live together, but you know, I think we both feel the same way that we’re hoping to see what happens in the future. Yeah, for sure.

Alex:

And, you know, like I was saying, so now I can actually say, is, like, you know, in terms of working hard to keep you shows up in terms of just waking up in time in the morning to take Ally to school, or like picking her up on time or giving you the space, you know, to do what you need to do professionally.

Nicole:

And you’re super good about that with work.

Alex:

So helping out where I can.

Nicole:

Yeah, I appreciate it. I also think that it shows up in the way that you work for your own career. And you’re always talking about how important it is to you to be the man that you’ll be in the future, that will make like your future kids proud and

Alex:

Oh yeah, cuz I don’t want to have kids and then you know, they grow up seeing me not really like doing much or just still, you know, hustling, I want them to see the fruits of my labor by the time they’re old enough to see it and appreciate it. So I want to work hard now to kind of like set that precedent like, I want to work hard now so I can be in the future. You know, provider a provider and you know and contribute more and I’m always working hard to so I can contribute more and do more for a family and all that.

Nicole:

Oh, I love you so much.

Alex:

I love you too.

Nicole:

So everyone I’m really beyond getting my face hurts from smiling so much and it’s just I’m beside myself. So you heard the whole story of getting back out there and dating you heard how it has its highs and its lows. You heard me say and I’m not naive about it at all. Life is crazy. I don’t know what the future is gonna bring. But what I do know is right now it is so so good. And a large part of it is because of this one. So thank you for being here.

Alex:

Thank you so much for having me. It’s been a pleasure.

Nicole:

Oh, is that your podcast voice see, do you see what I’ve done? You see what I’ve done, y’all. Thanks for tuning in. And I know so many of you always say that you’re praying for me and you’re praying for the girls and that you have a covering over all of us and I just want to let you know it’s working.