by Nicole Walters | May 18, 2021
You are Not Kim Kardashian
Welcome to our third May Moments! I am so excited that so many of you have just discovered the podcast and because this is a group party, I want us all to be caught up! That’s why in the month of May, we’re going to re-share our top episodes. Whether it’s your first time hearing these or your second or third, I know you’ll get something great out of them!
Unlike Kim Kardashian, we aren’t going to get paid for our looks. We have to show up and do the work. In this episode, I share a story of how I built a mutually beneficial relationship with a big brand by showing up and doing the WORK.
Listen in to hear how you can really set yourself apart in business! If you enjoyed the show, let us know what you think by writing a review on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening friend!
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.
You’d never believe it. I had been building up to this day for weeks. I had the opportunity as a brand new blogger to attend this pretty huge event. They were expecting over 3000 attendees and every single major brand in my industry was going to be present. I knew that being at this event could be transformative. I had the opportunity to meet the heads of every single industry, all the major bloggers were going to be there, so there was an opportunity to collaborate and there were going to be panels, keynotes, and celebrities. I could get content for weeks and possibly secure some major money that, maybe just maybe, would allow me to turn my blogging thing into a full-time job. I was ready. Now, I spent time with the husband building out a binder with every single major blogger’s name in there, so that I knew what was going on with them, their business and their brands. I also took a list of every single brand that was going to be there, their head associates, and did my research so that I knew going into it, what to talk to them about. I coordinated because I was a blogger, my outfits, my hair, my makeup, and I was so excited to show up at this event because I really knew that this might be the thing that tips the scale and really you launches things to where they need to be.
So I showed up that day and I was ready. I had a plan of attack. I knew all the different booths that I was going to hit and I knew exactly who I needed to shake hands with. I walked in with the husband at my side, God bless him, taking photos of me and snapping things as well as taking some video to document things as they went. I was new to the whole blogging thing and I had been working my nine to five job, but I was excited to spend that Friday through Sunday working on what I loved. Which was sharing my solution, sharing my answers, and building a little side hustle that I knew mattered. So I went over fully prepared to chat with some brand ideas and partnership opportunities. I mean I knew that this was going to be something and while I was there they mentioned that they were having a panel that afternoon. They were going to be having a discussion about their different products and different offerings, hairstyles and then an open Q and A. And all I could think was, Gosh, how could I have not gotten on this panel? I wish I knew something about it earlier. Not only would it have been great visibility for my brand, but what an opportunity to show this company, how into their stuff I was, and how great of a representative I’d be. Well, I made my intentions known. I said to them, you know what? I really would have loved to have been on this panel and I recognize that I’m a little late to the game on getting signed up, but what I would absolutely love is if you kept me in mind next time and if you need any help today at all, whether it’s picking up boxes or packing up, or maybe a last-minute interview guest or someone to host, I’d be more than happy to step in and just let me know. I’ll stay close.
They looked at me and they were kind of surprised. I guess typically people have a tendency to not humble themselves enough to say, Hey, I’ll pitch in where I can and I could tell that it was probably a little refreshing for them to hear that. And they said, well, you know what Nicole, we appreciate that. We will absolutely keep you in mind, but we’re all full for today. And that was okay with me. I had no problem but I was still going to stay close. So I hung out a bit. I wait until a little bit before this was about to go on the panel and all of a sudden I see a look in the vice president of the company’s eyes. Something was definitely wrong. She starts scanning the room and she spots me. She runs over and she says, Hey Nicole! Actually, would you mind filling it on the panel? We actually have a free spot. Someone didn’t show up. I looked up, I said, a little thank you God in my head and then I looked at her and said, no problem. I gotcha. She said, thanks so much, and I got out there. Guys, I rocked that panel. It was awesome. People were laughing husband was walking through the aisles handing out my business cards and it was a great time. From then on I built an ongoing relationship with that brand and even to this day we still stay in touch with opportunities if they need any client help, you name it, I’m there for them. But let me tell you how that’s pocket open on the panel and it wasn’t just because I’m heavily favored. Amen. It was also because one of the bloggers that didn’t show up, well, she thought she was Kim Kardashian. And that’s what this episode’s about. You are not Kim Kardashian.
This is one of the things that people forget in this space because of Insta fame. Just because you have a ton of followers, just because you have a lot of notoriety, just because you have visibility or who your friends are or what celebrities you hang out with, does not mean that you can not show up, not do the work, not be professional and still get paid. You are not Kim Kardashian. You will not get paid for your looks. You’re not going to get paid just for standing in the room. You have to do something. You have to be professional. You have to show up. Here’s what happened. That blogger was contracted to show up on site, but she decided she just didn’t want to come. She had something else she wanted to do. The opportunity didn’t interest her enough, and maybe she didn’t feel wedded enough to the brand. I don’t know what was going through her mind that morning, but what I do know was that it was incredibly unprofessional. So she decided to not show at all and she no-showed, no call, and guess who got to step into that role because I was a consummate professional because they knew they could trust me and guess who built an ongoing relationship. Yeah, me. And that can also be you as long as you understand that in this business world if you’re wondering how can I differentiate myself, how can I stand out? Because there are a million people doing what I do. There are a million people in the industry I want to be in. There are so many people out there who are already successful. How can I get famous through all the noise? Well, guess what? Your business professionalism, your work ethic can be your differentiator.
I know as well as you do that if you’re passionate about what you have to offer to this world, whether it is being a terrific mom or whether it is stepping out there and being a great speaker or having a terrific product. That you’re able to stand out because of how much you care about what’s given. Let’s be honest, the money’s nice. It’s great when you get paid to serve in your purpose, but at the end of the day, if you’re truly doing what you love, you would do it for free. You care about the results. You care about helping people. You care about making an impact. That’s why you show up every single day and because of that, if you couple that same care and deep connection to what you’re doing with professionalism, business skills, knowing how to respond to an email and do things on time, knowing how to say what you’re going to do and actually do it. Knowing how to act with integrity and couple that with a little bit of old school things like picking up the phone to follow up with a client, and checking in with them to see how they like the service that you provided. If you do these things, you will stand out and you’re going to differentiate yourself.
There’s something that’s going on with social media, and I dunno if you’ve seen it too, but it’s starting to bug me because it really isn’t how things work in corporate America. There’s something that’s happening where if you go on the Internet and you just post a bunch of pictures of yourself, selfies or butt shots at the gym, or pictures of you with nice things like Lamborghinis and fancy handbags, designer clothes or, or expensive shoes, shopping trips and pictures, you know, and in crazy locales that all of a sudden people are gonna think you made it and that you’re worthy to spend money with. Well, guess what your worth does not reside in stuff. And the truth is people with real money and real purpose, are not spending it on stuff. When I scroll down people’s Instagram pages and I see nothing but designer labels and fancy pants things, all I could think is that’s money that’s not sitting in their bank account. People who truly have commas are humble. They shop at Target, they-they save, sometimes they thrift, occasionally they mend a pair of socks because, why throw away a good pair of socks. Right? And I mean the reality is there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to nice things. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labor. But if that becomes all that you are, to the point where you start believing that these things are worth more than the service that you offer, it’s going to show in your work and people aren’t going to want to work with you. You have to remember that whatever got you here isn’t going to get you there.
So that does mean that you have to uplevel and bring new skills to the game. You have to constantly learn, constantly evolving, constantly growing. And there’s nothing wrong with, you know, treating yourself and getting a little fancier while you do it. But also remember that the things that you did that got you here, are some of the things that you’re going to need to keep doing no matter where you go. If you find yourself confused about what’s working and you feel like you need to revamp and start a new in order to get ahead, well, I’m going to advise you to say, hey, sometimes it’s about taking it back to the basics. One of the things that was always very successful for me and my business was making myself accessible. I run all of my own social media and it’s not uncommon for me to get into my inbox, kick customer service out and answer emails myself. It wasn’t weird in my early stages for me to pick up the phone and call my students. It didn’t matter if I had 1 or 1000. I was picking up the phone and calling them up and saying, hey, how’s it going? This is actually Nicole and I want to know how you’re doing, and the reason why I did that is that we’re in the business of people. I care about people and you should too. As a matter of fact, I bet you do. We wouldn’t be best friends, Internet, podcast style if you weren’t kind of like me if you weren’t about being and doing, and serving and giving something more and so that’s why I want to caution you and use that story as a cautionary tale to understand that, listen, we’re never going to get paid for just showing up. We have to make sure that we are truly connected with serving people with excellence, right? Top notch service. You want to do the work but you want to do it well and you want people to trust you. You want to have integrity. You want to make sure that when you leave the room, all they remember is how awesome you were when you showed up and how awesomely you served.
So instead of worrying about, oh my gosh, how am I going to stand out? Is the thing that I offer good enough? Just make sure that what you do offer you do well, that you get better at the work that you do, that you focus on trying to grow every single day. If you do your work with excellence, you will never be in a position where people are going to say, Hey, I’m going to go with the next girl. Now, if there is nothing that you remember, there’s nothing else you take from this podcast. The one thing that I want you to remember, and this one’s easy, you are not Kim Kardashian girl. You gotta do the work. You gotta show up. You gotta show out, you gotta slay and you gotta deliver.
All that sounds good and great. We’ve talked about doing the work, right? We’ve talked about how we have to keep it all together and make sure that we are always showing up, right? All these things matter, but what if we’re doing the work and things are getting out of hand? I know that it’s very easy when you’re passionate about something to spend all day doing it, getting lost in the moment, and that can have some really serious effects on your life. I’m guilty of it. As a matter of fact, I had a huge moment happen with my kids that changed everything. It changed how I did business. It changed how I looked at the world. It changed how I interacted with my students. It changed who I was, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it In our next episode because this thing will change everything for you.
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to www.NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details, and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the next. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What you and Kim Kardashian don’t have in common,
- How I set myself apart in business (this is good!)
- Why you have to keep showing up to build your business, and
- How to land opportunities that you would otherwise not get
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or email me at hello@nicolewalters.com!
- Have you listened to our previous May Moments? Listen here!
- If you love our chats like I do, I’d so appreciate a review for the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!
More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:
The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!
Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.
Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!
Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!
by Nicole Walters | May 11, 2021
Do not get weary
Welcome to our second May Moments! I am so excited that so many of you have just discovered the podcast and because this is a group party, I want us all to be caught up! That’s why in the month of May, we’re going to re-share our top episodes. Whether it’s your first time hearing these or your second or third, I know you’ll get something great out of them!
I’m so glad you’re listening to this one because we are having an open and honest conversation about how the Black Lives Matter movement isn’t over and what we’re really after. This episode will help you to do not get weary in this fight. This topic is as timely as it was when it was first released in June of 2020.
We need you to stay in this fight and not grow weary and this conversation will help. Thanks for being here friend. I’m so honored that you spend this time with me each week. I want these talks to be a two-way street so send me a DM on Instagram or Twitter. I can’t wait to hear from you!
(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.
(00:50):
Hey everybody. Hey guys. I wanted to come on because a lot of stuff has just happened recently and I wanted to unpack some of the recent news with you to help you internalize it really, really well, and to apply it to your life even better. And to hopefully get ahead of possibly saying some things that you may not want to say that could cause a little bit of confusion or not really help things move in a positive direction. So if this is your first time, thank you so much for jumping on. If you just have five minutes, this will help a lot. And like, I always like to start out. This is an open, honest conversation in a safe place and safe, meaning that the intent here is to know everyone’s intention is forward moving progress and everyone’s intention is to learn. And everyone’s intention is application of the things that we’re learning, not just performative, listening, right?
(01:46):
We actually want to deep down be the person that we say we want to be, right? So here’s what I want to talk about. And it may be a smidge uncomfortable, but I promise you, it’s not going to be the type of uncomfortable that isn’t going to leave you better off. So you may have heard recently, especially if you are one of my lighter brighters right, which is a term I use for anyone who may be Caucasian, white or white presenting. Right? So meaning you’re afforded some of the benefits and perks of being white, even if you’re not. So here’s what we’re going to talk about. You may have heard that the other officers in the George Floyd murder have now been charged and there were three other officers that weren’t charged right away. Uh, the primary officer involved in the crime was charged, you know, not right away, but before these other officers were charged.
(02:35):
So this is just, I’m just explaining just general news, right? Like this is not an opinion. It’s not political. It’s just the news. Right. And furthermore, the original primary officer was also, his charges were upgraded from third degree murder to second degree murder. Right? So that’s the latest and the greatest in terms of the news. And it doesn’t matter how you feel about that portion of it. Right? I want to talk to you about what comes next, because I think that it’s possible. And I’m not saying this is how you feel, but it may be how other people around you feel, that some people are going to think that this is what’s going to make everything stop. And I wanted to come on just before people even start getting on Facebook or being on Facebook arguments or things like that to kind of give you some perspective.
(03:24):
Because it’s very possible, I just want to prepare you as like your friend. I’m just hear me out. It’s very possible that this is not going to be the thing like, um, and I’m going to use the sentence here. Cause you may hear it. I’m not saying it’s what you’ll say, but it may be what you hear other people say or people around you say, “Well, now they got what they want. So why are they still mad?” or “Now they got what they want so why are they still protesting?” or, “They got what they want. So why is this still happening?” And you’re going to hear, you’re going to hear that language just because racism isn’t gone and a hashtag, right? It’s not gone in a thing. You’re going to hear that type of icky language and perspectives and odds are those perspectives are from people who just may not understand some of the things you’ve been working on or some of the things you’ve been reading and diving into.
(04:11):
But the reality is part of why people are so, so upset right now, people meaning black people is because it isn’t about just one isolated incident. It’s about the whole fact that our, that black lives have not been treated well in this country. And they’ve been at risk. So because we have such a long history of basically being like, please pay attention, please pay attention. We swear, this is serious. Can you please just investigate, please take it seriously. Like it’s really, really scary. Like I really need some help and not getting any reaction from it. And sometimes even being told, yeah, you’re making it up. The fact that this one thing has happened, isn’t going to be enough to have people say, Oh, okay, good. Well, I’m glad everyone understands. Like that’s not going to be enough. And furthermore, believe it or not, a lot of black people are going to be scared that even though they’ve been arrested that the justice system’s not going to work to do its complete job, which means really doing a full trial, really doing a thorough investigation, really calling the best witnesses in and making sure that if they’re prosecuted, right.
(05:22):
Even if they’re found guilty, you know, by the full justice system that they’re going to get enough time in jail rather than a Oh right. Well, you met what you meant. You know, like we know where we get it. We did the process. And so I say all this to kind of prepare you to let you know that it isn’t over yet. And it’s really important that if you start one of the things you’re going to start hearing from people who, you know, may have been all about the, like I get this whole black lives matter thing now, but they’re going to be like, is this done yet? Like, they’re just eager to feel. Cause here’s the deal. It’s been uncomfortable for everyone. Right? It’s been overwhelming to let this consume our lives for like the past week. But for black people it’s consumed our lives for our entire lives.
(06:05):
And so for a lot of people, they’re going to look at all of this and say, I cannot not wait to get some air. Right. I cannot wait to get some air. When are we going to get back to posting gym selfies? I didn’t do squats for no reason. I want to post that on Instagram. Right. And you’re going to realize very quickly that it’s not over, it’s not over. And so I know that we all probably want a little breathing space right from this situation. But the problem is that because people weren’t able to breathe and they were killed, this is going to keep going. And so what’s really important. I think what matters most to so many black people that are in your life and that you will see continue to speak up about this and what we’re probably most scared of more than anything, because a lot of us are prepared for this to not even work out in terms of a trial.
(06:57):
A lot of us are prepared for just in case this doesn’t work out. Right. Cause we’ve been here before, but at what I think most of us and I don’t want to speak for all black people, but what I, what I can honestly say, I feel for sure and I’m hoping you hear and understand is that I’m more scared that you’re going to be over it. Oh, I don’t want to get emotional. I don’t want to cry about it, but I’m most scared that you’re going to be over it. And that you’re going to say this was too hard and I don’t want to do this anymore because it’s not my thing. You know? And I just want to let you know that even if you decide that you’re tired of doing this, and even if you decide that like, well, they got what they wanted.
(07:38):
I’m still going to be scared in the car. And I’m still going to be scared. Like when my daughter, so I have an 18 year old daughter that is amazing, right? She’s a firecracker. She beat stage four cancer, she’s a 4.0 student, she is easily one of the most amazing humans I’ve ever met in my life. Like she inspires me and I can’t even believe I get to be her mom and I, my family, my three girls are adopted and I feel so blessed that I was even chosen to like be in their world. And my baby girl, like she always asked me, I thought about his day. She was like, Oh, so I think I want to go walk the dog today. And I’m like, sure. And then I’m like, but make sure you come in at this hour and don’t go further than here and just be really careful.
(08:18):
And if anything seems off, don’t do it. Like I have to give her kind of a paragraph whenever she wants to go out and walk the dog. And those sorts of things won’t change until we know that there’s like stuff in writing in law that says that if anything, like George Floyd happens or that the officers aren’t even going to think to do something like that. So that’s kind of, that’s what we’re actually fighting for. So even though there’ve been a lot of calls to bring the other officers to justice, I really want you to understand that what we’re looking for is actual real world, like paperwork stuff, saying that like, guess what? Another George Floyd won’t happen. What we want is to make sure that there are no more George Floyd’s, not just justice for George Floyd.
(09:05):
Does that make sense friends? I hope so, because I know that there’s going to be an immediate sort of like, can it be over? And because we haven’t gotten paperwork that says like, no, like we are going to make sure that cause you know, I’m not defending officers, but every black person knows that not every cop is a bad cop. Every black person knows that. But what we’re concerned about is that the system is also failing police officers. Can you imagine that? It’s also failing them and we want to make sure they have all the tools to do their job well, so that the aren’t any more George Floyds. Meaning they shouldn’t be out on the street after a 30 hour work shift. If they have had several incidences of showing bad behavior, that needs to be noted and consequences need to be dealt and they need to make sure they can’t go and work other places.
(10:01):
Think about it if you had a police officer that you knew did a lot of things that weren’t right, and that police officer was able to go get a job as a security guard at your kid’s school, how would you feel about that? That’s scary. Right? That’s scary. It’s a scary thing. And we don’t have systems and paperwork to just keep track of those types of things and even better. If you’re someone who is a big, huge, like, you know, I’ve always really supported a lot of police officers and I’m really a big like, you know, law and order type of girl. I want you to understand that you should want these things too, because it will actually help your officers, military people get safer because if your husband or brother is a good cop, you want them to be loved, appreciated, and respected for the work they do.
(10:49):
And it’s very difficult for us to do that because we just like, you can’t tell who’s a, you know, just cause they, like they say, they can’t tell who’s the looter, who’s trouble because of, you know, systemic problems. We, we can’t really tell which cop is a good copper, always scared. Cause you guys the ones with the guns. Right? So knowing that that’s why it’s so important to not let up, because this is also your fight to make sure that your police officers are safe and to make sure that they’re able to, right? And so that’s why we want to make sure this helps everybody. So even though we are thrilled, we meaning all black people everywhere and hopefully you too, right? Hopefully you two are super thrilled to hear that we are going to engage the justice system. I just really want you to understand that it’s not over yet and you may still see people protesting and it’s likely that you’re still going to see hashtags and it’s really, really possible that we’re still going to need you to donate.
(11:48):
And we’re still gonna need you to speak up for your kid on the playground. And we’re still gonna need you whenever you’re having an event or a party or whatever else to invite your black friend, because we want to make sure that you understand that there’s still work ahead. And if you’re a mama of a toddler or have a little one or a mom of kids, I do want you to understand that if you think about it, you’re a mama for a lifetime, right? And if you’ve got a little one, you’ve got 18 years of teaching, 18 years of teaching to make sure that kid grows up into a great adult that understands the importance of seeing everyone’s color and being a helper for people who have dealt with so much oppression for so many years. So there’s work to be done, right?
(12:31):
And I don’t want you to let up. That’s my biggest fear is that I just, I don’t want the fact that we’re bearing our souls and that we’re having these conversations because this news just came out for anybody to back off. So please stick with it with us and keep calling for a fair trial and keep voting for people who are paying attention to policies, right? Not voting party, not voting people, but voting for policy, right? What do these people think, believe and do and is that the direction and the world that I want to live in. Those are the types of things we want to do. So that’s all I wanted to share with you guys. I just wanted to give you guys an opportunity to when you hear this news, come be well equipped to have those conversations because you’re going to be surrounded, especially if you’re a lighter, brighter, or you’re white person, you’re going to be equipped to.
(13:21):
Now, when you hear people around me who may not have spent time doing the work, you’re going to be able to actually say, Hey, Hey, Hey, you know, I know that you’re saying you wish that it was over. And boy, you can’t understand why people are still mad. I want to let you know, they’re mad because it’s not over. And we want to make sure that things have changed all the way, all the way. I am so grateful because I’ve gotten so many messages from so many of you about, you know, trying to increase your understanding and really trying to lean in and trying to hear where people’s hearts are and wanting to learn what to do. And I don’t think we have all of the answers, but you’re doing the work, you’re showing up and you’re getting uncomfortable. And I’m grateful that we get uncomfortable together. Like this, look at us, we got uncomfortable and we all, we made it right. But it wasn’t that bad. Right. See, and we can keep having these conversations and we can still love each other afterwards. All right. So go out, do something, do something, act, make a difference. Today’s a good day. Justice is in motion.
(14:20):
All right, guys. Thank you so much. Bye guys. Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why you’ve heard people ask, “Is it over yet?”
- How to keep yourself from growing weary now and in the future,
- What really needs to happen for us to feel safe, and
- Why we need you in this fight long term
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- In addition to using your voice and voting, consider donating to organizations like:
- Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or email me at hello@nicolewalters.com!
- Have you listened to our first May Moments? Listen to it here!
- If you love our chats like I do, I’d so appreciate a review for the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!
More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:
The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!
Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.
Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!
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by Nicole Walters | May 4, 2021
Pivot Points
I am so excited that so many of you have just discovered the podcast and because this is a group party, I want us all to be caught up! That’s why in the month of May, we’re going to re-share our top episodes. Whether it’s your first time hearing these or your second or third, I know you’ll get something great out of them!
So tune in today’s episode where I share the incredible story of how I met my daughters and how God put our family together. This is just part 1 of a two-part episode so don’t forget to tune in for part 2 (find it HERE!) Thanks for listening friend!
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.
So let’s talk about why I’m even doing this whole thing. Why on earth is there just another podcast to listen to? Well, in this season I want to introduce you to the principles I’ve been using to guide my life. I wasn’t always a huge entrepreneur making multi-seven figures and having a full-time staff. While it’s awesome to be able to build a business where I help people live a life they love and use their God-given gifts, it was complicated. Before that, I’m the child of immigrants who grew up in Washington DC. They didn’t have much. My dad was a cab driver and my mom was a secretary at a boating insurance company. I was blessed to be able to go to some top schools. I started off in DC private schools and I worked my way up to awesome, awesome universities, but the reality was I slept on a couch until I was 12, there were many nights where I didn’t have much and I was hungry and I woke up to roaches crawling all over me and I closed my eyes tightly hoping I could get back to bed quickly. I had days where I didn’t know if I was going to eat, and there were nights where I woke up in the middle of the night knowing that my fridge was empty. I know that story doesn’t sound unfamiliar. It’s a hard-luck story, rags to riches, but the reality is none of those things would have changed if I didn’t change.
After I got married, met my amazing husband, we were living a pretty good life. I was working a corporate job and I was a senior executive at 28, one of the youngest in my division. I loved what I did. I was working, helping build fortune 500 companies, turning them and their products into industry leaders. And it was so much fun. First Class flights, amazing dinners, using my knowledge and my industry expertise to make my company billions. But the reality was that job fed my family, but it didn’t feed my soul and I knew that that wasn’t all that I was. I had real gifts that were worth something and I deserve to use them. So when I got older, I knew that I needed to leverage my college experience to get where I needed to go. And rising through the corporate ranks wasn’t all that I was. There were times where I only had $24 in my bank account and I would look at my husband and we’d say to ourselves, we’re grateful that we have food in our fridge and we’re grateful that we have gas in our tank, but if anything goes wrong, we’re not going to make it. We’re busy making sure that we’re paying off our debt and living our best lives, but at the end of the day, it feels like we’re always living paycheck to paycheck and all we really want is some breathing room. And that was when I said, I’ve got to get a side hustle. I started my blog, Natural Nicole, and it was awesome.
It was great to share knowledge about African American beauty products with people who were also looking for answers. I knew that I loved sharing answers, but you know what? I didn’t hate my nine to five job. I just knew that I was about something more. And so that was when I started offering my blogger friends information about how to build their blog into a business. I mean, I did it for corporations all day. Why couldn’t I do it for the everyday person? And boy did it work. It took off. Now that’s what was happening in front of the scenes. That might be a little bit of why you may know me or see me or caught me on a viral video, but the reality is there was a lot happening behind the scenes. You can follow my journey at www.nicolewalters.com, you can sign up for my business products at www.1k1day.com. You can listen to other people’s podcasts and you can follow me on social media and you’ll catch all the business stuff and maybe even catch a little bit of fun family stuff, but the reality is everybody’s little bit more complex than that.
There are things happening behind the scenes that no one knows about and there are principles that have helped guide me and help me grow, and that’s what this podcast is about. It’s the behind the scenes. It’s the deeper story, there’s more to it and I’m excited to share all of that with you guys here today. I want to make sure that in this podcast I am being honest, real and transparent because I want you to understand that nothing happens overnight, and I’m able to share with you the journey that it takes. I’m going to be doing that by leading each episode with a different principle that I’ve been applying during this very journey. I’m hoping that one of these principles will unlock your own success. Today, I want to start off by sharing a personal story of mine, one that changed my life and it led me to actually being right here on this podcast chatting with you and it’s the story of how I became a mother of three girls in just 30 days. So if you think you need a break or if you need a snack, now’s the time to grab it. So it’s only going to take a couple more minutes, but turn up the volume. Lean in. We’re going to get started.
It was in 2014. I’d been married a little over six years. I think it was closer to seven and my husband was this amazing guy. We met online on Ok Cupid back before it was too sketchy and we had a pretty awesome marriage at this point. The first three years were, man, isn’t that marriage overall? I think that it’s one of these things where we’re like, oh yeah, dating. It was great, and then you get married and you’re like, Whoa, you’re in my stuff. You’re touching my things. You’re breathing my air. I think I love you, but oh my gosh, if you don’t do these dishes. Right? It’s just so crazy. Knowing how to date is so different from knowing how to be married, but we made it work. We were disagreeing, but we just didn’t understand what it meant to be married. We came into the marriage with two different definitions and we’re just trying to find our footing, but oh my goodness, by year five, oh, we were in our sweet spot. By year six, the love was overflowing and I’d finally gotten really stable. I had my six-figure job and we had a little bit of extra income, even though we knew that things were tight, but we were at that place where I think most of us remember right when we got married and things were kind of working and our jeans still fit. We didn’t have kids. We were going out for dinners, having fun, you know, finding little hobbies, things to do. It was that great place in our marriage. We were looking good. Oh, the late twenties it was a pretty good place and I remember on this October night, we just had date night, which frankly when you don’t have kids and you’re newly married, every day is basically date night. We were hanging out with each other and went out to dinner and afterward I said, hey, how about we grab some dessert? So my husband said to me, that sounds great. Yeah, let’s go. So we went to go grab some crepes at this place called Sophie’s. It’s in Baltimore. I absolutely love it. And Sophie’s was actually the shop that we went to for our very first date and living in Baltimore. We would always swing by there. We just love to go back. It was one of our favorite places and I’m kind of like a type A personality. I think it’s worth noting. I liked doing my research, I like checking things out and for some reason this night, even though it was like nine o’clock, I didn’t even check Yelp to see if Sophie’s was open. I was like, let’s just swing by there and you know, that’s kind of how God works, right?
He moves and ordains our steps and sends us in the right direction even if we don’t necessarily know if it makes sense because there’s someplace we have to get and we were going to get there whether we liked it or not. So we’re driving down this street in Baltimore, it’s called Northern Avenue. And so I see this image and it’s just bouncing up and down in the corner and it’s so, so dark. I mean guys, this was at, this point it was probably 9:30 or 10 o’clock on a cold October night in Maryland. It was brisk. So I was like, we need to pull over. We need to pull over and we get to that corner or really close to Sophie’s. I know he’s focused on dessert, but as we get closer, I noticed that this isn’t a dog at all. There was actually a woman standing in that shadow as well, and the woman’s older and it was a small child. She was jumping up and down because it looked like she was counting. You know when you walk around and you try not to step on a crack and break your mother’s back? You could see that this woman who was older look to be about in her fifties maybe even older than that. Whatever it was, you could see she was wearing a lot of the life she was living on her outside. She looked like she’d been through a lot. I’m trying not to get emotional here because I don’t even know if I could ever tell the story and not get emotional.
This little girl was dirty, her clothing had smudges on it, and her shoes had holes, but her face was just a light. She was absolutely radiant. And I remember when my husband pulled over, this woman said hello and you know, my husband goes to give her some money. Now this woman was holding a sign that says, you know, I’m hungry, please help. And he hands her a couple of bucks and when he goes to hand her the money, she takes it and then it looks over at, the little girl and says, now what do we say? And this little girl looks up, she looks to be about two years old, she’s really, really small. And she says, thank you. And as she says, thank you. I noticed that she’s missing some of her front teeth. And I say to the woman, oh, she’s missing her teeth. And she says, yeah, she has to go to the dentist and get it out. And I was like, wow, you’re going to the dentist, you’re such a brave little girl. The girl was shy like most young kids are, but she started beaming this big smile and I just saw her whole face light up. I didn’t even know it could get any brighter.
I said, okay, well you guys stay warm. Have a good night. God bless you. But I could feel something happened within me. Something had changed. There was a pivot. We continued driving, and we went to Sophie’s, but everything was different. Sophie’s was closed and had been closed for about 45 minutes or so. And I kinda thought to myself, why didn’t I look up the time? And of course they’re closed, it’s nighttime. What was I even thinking? So we start to head back and we turn around the corner and head back home and we have to pass by that corner again. And let me be honest about something. I remember thinking to myself, and God forgive me for it. I remember thinking, please God, don’t let them still be on that corner. Don’t let them be there. Because if they are, I’m going to have to do something. And I don’t know if you guys have ever been in that place before where you just know that once you know something, you can’t unknow it. Once something enters your world, you have to act. And for me, this feeling of not just being able to drive by again was something I didn’t want to lean into. I didn’t want to do it. I just wanted to go home and find something in the fridge to have for dessert for my husband. I wanted to finish date night. I just didn’t want to have to act. Not that night. But sure enough we see them there and I tried my best not to make eye contact. I remember thinking, just don’t look at the corner Nicole. Just don’t look at the corner. And my husband drives by and we don’t even make it to the next stop sign before I’m doing that, hitting his arm thing again and I’m saying we have to go back, we have to go back. So we turn around and we go back and as we’re driving back, it’s only a couple seconds before we pull up to them.
And I’m thinking to myself, what am I even going to say to these people, what am I even doing? There are barely any cars around cause it’s night and it’s late and I don’t even know what I’m doing. What am I even going to say to them? And I gotta say, any moms or dads who are listening to this. You know that feeling you get, that mom feeling deep in your gut, when you see a situation and you just know it’s not quite right and you can’t put your finger on it, but you’re like, something here is not adding up. It’s not good and, and something’s gotta change. I have to step in. It’s kind of like that. Something in my gut that said, this little girl is out just a little too late and it’s a little bit too cold and I just need to do something about this. We pull up next to her and all I could think was, are you guys hungry? And the mom says, yes, actually we really are. And I said, okay, well you know, I don’t know what’s open right now, but I think there’s a subway down the street. Could I maybe get you guys some dinner? And she says, yeah, that’d be great. That’d be really great. So I’m like, well, come on with us and hop in the car and bring your bags with you and then we’ll get going. And in the back of my head, all I could think was, this little girl doesn’t even have a car seat. But you know, it’s interesting how in those moments, those details don’t seem to matter much. You just wanted to get some food into their belly. So they get into the car and we pull up and the only thing open at this hour is Subway. I feel like Subway never closes.
So we go in and they’re walking in and you know, I’m like, get whatever you want, you know, whatever you need. And the woman looks at me and she says, you know, I have two more at home. And I was like, okay, well I guess we should get something for them too. Just get whatever you want. So she’s taking her order, and the little one is standing there and I squat down and I get eye contact with her and I say, hey, so what’s your name? And she looks at me and I’ll never forget hearing her voice say, Ali. And all I could think at that moment is that I have to do whatever I can to help this little girl. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what it looks like, but I need to help them. So we finished the order and when we’re done, the woman’s stands on the sidewalk outside of the Subway and she’s like, thank you so much. And she turns to walk home and I look at them both and say, Hey, uh, we could give you a ride back. Now if you’ve ever seen my husband on social media at all, you’ll know that he’s a playful guy, but he’s kind of a serious matter of fact guy and he’s quiet. God blessed this man for dealing with me as his wife, man. He goes along with anything I put him through. And I am so fortunate that God really matched me with the right person because he gives me the space to be as crazy as I want to be. As long as I respect when he puts his foot down and says, okay, Nicole enough. This is one of those times where he shot me those eyes and said, Nicole what are you doing? And I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and gave him the please, I’m sorry, I can’t, you know, and they look back and they’re like, yeah, we’d like a ride if that’s okay with you. So they get back in the car and I drive them back to their home and I call it a home because that is where their family lived, but it wasn’t much, it was a small one story row house in Baltimore. They kind of looked like townhouses, but they’ve been split into several apartments. And on the first floor, it’s government provided housing.
So I walk them up the door and I walk up to the door and the one thing I noticed right away was that the home was packed with stuff and it wasn’t super clean and I just couldn’t figure out when I was looking around where a little kid would play. It was just so much going on. It was pretty apparent that things weren’t right here. I couldn’t believe that there were any more people that lived in that house, let alone a family of four. The mother opens a door and I step inside and she screams the name of the other two girls and I wait a second, I kind of look towards the area that she was just calling them from and the little one runs in and just kinda scurries around looking for some toy. And then the two girls come out and they are gorgeous, just gorgeous. One was 11 at the time and the other one looked to be about 14. The best way I could describe them was three beautiful girls, but they looked like wilted flowers bent over, not smiling, looking at the ground. They didn’t make eye contact and their mother said thank the nice lady for bringing us sandwiches. Whether you want to call it partially just being a teenager or maybe even lacking joy. I mean they say in unison, thank you. A classic teenager response. And I’m like, you’re welcome girls. You know, you’re welcome. And I didn’t know what to say. I mean I’m old. I felt awkward. What are you, what are kids even like nowadays? What do, how do I connect with an 11-year-old and a 14-year-old? All they do is Snapchat and listen to rap. I don’t know what to do with this. So I’m grasping at straws for something more to say. And I’m just like, uh, do you guys like makeup and hair and stuff? I have this little blog thing that I do and you know, if, if you like, I got some stuff I can bring to you and maybe if you’re just into that and they kind of lift their heads up and they look at me maybe doing a little half smile and they’re like, yeah, yeah, we do like that stuff. And I was like, okay, well great. I’d love to bring some stuff back to you tomorrow. And then the mom’s like, sure, sure. And so I look at the mom and I say, is there anything else that you need? I mean, since I’m coming back and she looks at me and says, well, we could really use some groceries. And I said, no problem. You know, I’ll be back tomorrow.
So I say goodbye to the family and I walked down the stairs and when I get into the car, look at my husband and he can tell something is up. He can tell that I’ve pivoted. I say to him, Hey, so we have a choice right now. I know what it’s like to grow up poor and I know what it’s like to have people promise you that they’re going to help and fall through every single time. Here’s the truth. We can walk away from this situation right now and we would not be the first ones to do it. We can walk away and never come back. We would just be another one on the list. They wouldn’t even remember us after a while. But if we say we’re going to come back, then we can never ever leave. These kids are used to people leaving them and I do not want to be another person who does that. My husband looks at me and he says, Nicole, you can bring them groceries. He’s so matter-of-fact I mean, he didn’t even think much about it. I was like, okay, thanks. I’ll take it. I’m not going to, I’m not going to complain. I’m going to shut up and roll with it.
So the next day I bring them groceries and then the day after that I pick up the girls and I take them to school. And the week after that I bring them dinner and the weeks after that I start bringing them to my home and helping them study. And soon after I’m in their school and meeting all their teachers. And over the course of a month, what started off as just a lucky meeting on the side of the street, turns into a full mentorship of these three girls where I’m just trying to help support them. And I’m kind of like a big sister just being in their lives and I don’t know what my goal was. I Dunno really what I was thinking. I just, I just wanted to make sure that they knew that someone saw them. I wanted them to know that somebody sees them because kids who aren’t seen, they don’t feel like they belong to anything. They questioned their worth and then they just do whatever and I just knew that if they knew that somebody saw them and if somebody acted like they mattered, then they would act like they mattered. It’s all I really wanted to do, so I just wanted to make sure that they were seen, so 30 days into knowing them or a little over 30 days, I went to go do my regular drop off. I pick up the girls from school and make sure that they got some dinner, help them with their homework, and then I’d take them home again. I’d been doing this routine for a while and it’s starting to feel pretty regular and I go to drop them off and their mom is acting a little weird. Maybe even a little erratic. And she says to me as I’m getting ready to walk back to my car like I always do. Hey uh Nicole, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. So we step outside and we get into the car and she looks at me and she says, Nicole, I need to tell you something. I’m like, oh, all right. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what that entails, but okay. And she says to me, Nicole, I use drugs.
So this is the part of the story where I have to admit that I’m really, really naive. I mean, some of you guys are probably already like, of course, Nicole, obviously the situation wasn’t together. What did you think? Well, listen, I’m the person who literally thought that Milli Vanilli was real. Okay. My mind was blown. Okay. Like I am telling you, girl, you know it’s true is my favorite song. So like I legit did not know. It was like, bless my heart. I’m just one of those people. So I’m sitting here and this woman is telling me that she uses drugs. I could feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach because now, all the little signs made sense. All of it suddenly was like a flashback playing in my head and everything was coming together. But then I was like, oh crap, what did I get myself into? What’s my husband going to say? Oh, oh no, am I safe right now? Wait, what’s going on? It was almost like, and I’m a big believer that God doesn’t show you everything you need to know all at once because it might actually affect your decision making. You may run away. And if I’d known this going into it, who’s to say, what I would’ve done? Probably would have run away. But needless to say, she told me this and the first thing I could muster, the first thing I could say was, well, okay, well what type of drugs? And she says, and I can kind of laugh at it now because it wasn’t really funny in the moment, but she’s like, I do a little bit of heroin. And I tried to stay clean off the heroin. And so when I’m clean off the heroin, I’m only doing a little bit of crack. Cause like a little bit of crack is a thing. Right? Jeez, I just got this sort of like, okay, oh my gosh, well are you clean right now? And she’s like, well I try to be and I’m telling you, this conversation goes left super quick. So I’m like, well what do you know? I mean are you doing better? Are you in treatment? Like what does this mean? You know? And she says, well the reason I’m telling you this is because I’m going to jail and I freeze. I look straight ahead over the steering wheel and then I look at her and it’s almost as if I was trying to search her face to see if she was telling me the truth cause this wasn’t a joke and she was definitely telling me the truth and all I could say to her was, well, okay, what’s going to happen to the girls?
And she says, well I can sign my check over to the boyfriend or the state might take them. And it was in that moment that I said to myself, okay, this is more than just mentorship. I’m going to have to make a choice, whether it’s now two months from now, three months from now, I’m going to have to come to a place where I’m going to have to decide if I’m willing to step in and help these girls completely and be there for them for whatever stretch of time, whatever that means. If it’s parenting them for a stretch, supporting them for a stretch, this is more than I ever thought and I have got to be prepared to step in because this situation is unstable. So I said to her, okay, well you know what? Let me see what I can do. I’m going to talk to my husband, I’m going to see if there’s something we can do to make sure we can still help with getting the girls to school, things like that, because it may just be a lot for your boyfriend to take on. And I feel like maybe I could help a little bit. And so she looks at me and she’s like, okay, well that’d be good if you could do that, that’d be good. And I said, yeah, you know what I mean? Maybe you know, we have a lot of space in our house and it might just be easier if the girls stay with us at least during the week, just until you get out. And she was like, yeah, I mean, I guess we could do that. She’d never been to her house before, but I guess she was okay with it. And I was like, well yeah, knowing in my head I was just like, please God, speak to my husband’s heart because he’s going to be like, oh my goodness. So she’s like, all right, cool, cool.
I remember going home and telling my husband what was going on and that the situation had escalated and this is what I think needed to happen. And so he said, okay, well let’s figure out what we can do. And so he goes ahead and he figures out how we can make it work and just make sure that we can handle their medical affairs and their school affairs and all that good stuff. And sure enough, we made it work. I remember at the time when I told their mom that we were willing to step in and watch the girls while she served her time, the thing she asked me was two things. One, will I still get to keep my check? Yeah, you’ll get to keep your check. And two, this still won’t make you their mom, you know? Right. And I told her, you’re right, I won’t officially be their mom. And she said, okay. Yeah, no, all right. So 30 days in and just a matter of moments, I became a mom to three girls.
Now, it may not have been clear as day at that point, but I did know from that moment on based on what I’d seen, experienced and what my husband and I discussed that I was never going to turn back. About a year after she went in, when she was finally released and she came out, it was very, very clear because the girls found out and they looked at me and the first thing they said was, Miss Nicole, please don’t make us go back. We want to stay with you. I looked at my husband at this point, I gotta tell you, we had a routine. We had joy. I invested in potty seats. And any parents know that once you convert, everything over to potty seats, that’s commitment. We have baby clothes everywhere. We had toys. I mean it was at a point where I could not imagine my world without these girls in it. We looked at each other knowing that we had a lot to take on and that we probably couldn’t stay in our tiny home in Baltimore City and we probably would need to get a different school district and the little one was going to need to start school soon. We had to figure it out. We have all of our family conversations in the open, so we all sat down and had a family meeting and we all looked at other and we said, what do we want to happen here? And the girl said we want to stay with you? And we said, we wanted to stay with you too, so let’s go talk to your mom. We sat down and talked to their mom and their mom agreed. There’s a better school district near you guys and I’m sure your home probably has a little bit more room and definitely more food.
We all agreed this was what was right and this is what we needed to do. After that, I looked at my husband, I said, we’re going to need to move and he’s like, Nicole, this is getting real. And I was like, don’t worry, I’ll figure it out. I’ll work and I’ll hustle and I’ll make it happen and I think that it was around this time that most of you who are listening, who may have met me before, seen me on social media. Who have been following my story as I become an entrepreneur and launch my own businesses. This might have been when we first met. I was working my nine to five corporate job as a senior executive and loving it, but also realizing that I wasn’t using all of my God-given gifts to serve people and it was in that time that I knew that if we were going to get our girls full time, if we were going to move into the suburbs and have a home where they could each have their own room, know that they’re wanted and build our family, that I would need to quit my job.
I had a three-year-old that needed me full time. I had a family now. We all needed to be together. I had a kid going to college and in just two years, another one going to college. My whole life had changed in just a matter of a few months and I needed to make sure that I was bringing in the revenue to support this family. We were not going to go into debt behind this chance meeting. I also needed to make sure that I had the time to love this family. I needed to better align with my purpose for my own inner calling and I needed to glorify God. And so it was in that moment that everything changed and I knew that I needed to pivot and it was then that I decided I needed to have my quit day. And that is a story of how my family came to be, but there’s so much more to it. And this story is the one that led up to the big moment where I went live online in front of 10,000 people. I called up my boss and I quit my job and that’s where I want to start our next episode.
I want to tell you how I launched my business, how I made $11,000 in just three weeks prior to calling my boss and quitting live. I want to tell you how this very video went viral within 24 hours and it was watched by over a hundred thousand people. It was absolutely crazy and I can’t wait to share every single moment what you saw in front of the screen and what happened behind it, but before I go, I want you to know this. If there’s nothing else that you take from this episode, just remember, no matter what your situation is like whenever you’re feeling low, remember that God is speaking about you in rooms that you are not in at the time when you got your first job offer, there was a conversation while you were at home wondering whether or not you would get the job when you got proposed to there was a guy going out and buying that ring for months in advance. Always remember that things are moving on your behalf even when you can’t see them.
Thanks for listening. I can’t wait to chat with you soon. Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoy this podcast, head over to NicoleWalters.com I’d love for us to stay in touch, so make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration, business details, and the occasional funny story and because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again. Make sure you subscribe and come back soon.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The story of how I became a mom of 3 in under 30 days,
- What event led me to quit my 6-figure corporate job,
- God’s incredible plan for bringing our family together, and
- How things are always working in your favor, behind the scenes
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- Listen to part 2 of this episode HERE
- Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or shoot me an email at hello@nicolewalters.com!
- Have you listened to our last episode on the toxic hustle? Listen to it here!
- If you love our chats like I do, I’d so appreciate a review for the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!
More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:
The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!
Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.
Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!
Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!
by Nicole Walters | Mar 30, 2021
The Toxic Hustle
Change your mind? This keeps coming up. It’s everywhere and I had no clue I was doing this differently than most. If you’re hesitating on taking a leap because you feel like you can’t ever look back, this episode is for you!
Friend, I want to talk to you about the right to change your mind today. Let’s talk about toxic hustle culture and how you can make decisions, grow, and pivot without them! I’m glad you’re here today.
I love that we can connect here every single week! Drop me a note on Instagram or Twitter @NicoleWalters! I love love love to hear from you! Chat soon friend!
(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.
(00:50):
If you have been keeping up with all the happenings on the interwebs with the family, you’ll know that I am super excited and proud to share that MidTiny and I, but very much as backup, have launched a brand new business called Summer Arrow. And you can learn more about Summer Arrow on Instagram @MySummerArrow, or you can visit the website, SummerArrow.com, but y’all, this is just, my heart is so full. And the reason I’m talking about it to all of you is because as internet aunties and uncles, you played a role in this in just the biggest way. MidTiny is now selling some of my decorative head turbines. You guys have seen us wear them. We love them. They were clutch during her stage four cancer recovery process. And we’re super excited to bring them to all of you.
(01:42):
These signature headpieces are fashionable. They’re easy to wear. They’re permanently knotted and they look so, so good. And they’re available now at SummerArrow.com. We are grateful because everyone showed up in a big way and MidTiny managed to sell out of every single color, every single headpiece in just 43 minutes. So before they were even featured on this week’s episode of She’s the Boss, every Thursday on USA network at 10:30 PM, they were sold out. So thank you so much internet aunties for showing up. If you ordered one, check the mail, it’s on the way to you and we will be restocking soon. So add your name to the list at SummerArrow.com. Now, friend, I wanted to talk about something pretty big, cause this keeps coming up over and over and over again. As you know, I run an amazing teaching experience for entrepreneurs called 1k1day Academy.
(02:43):
And I do that through my consulting company, Inherit Learning Company. And we are currently in our fifthteenth cycle of students and this thing keeps coming up and I wanted to talk to you about it because it shows up not just in our business, but it shows up everywhere in our families and our personal lives about ourselves, about our business, everything. So I just really want to unpack this because I didn’t even realize it was a thing that I did and that I did frequently and easily. And I didn’t realize that for you. It might be the very thing that unlocks your right to give yourself permission to purpose. So friend, have you ever said to yourself, I really want to do this thing, but I feel hesitancy and that hesitancy comes about because it’s like, well, what if it doesn’t work out?
(03:30):
Or what if I do it and the results aren’t exactly as I expect or what if I jump in and it isn’t as I thought it would, or things are going wrong and I can’t get out, you know, that, that hesitancy that may come with, I don’t know, redecorating a room or trying a new hairstyle, or maybe even launching a new business because it’s an area that you don’t know if you’re really qualified for, that’s just brand new, that hesitancy because it feels like whatever it is that you’re starting, that’s new or trying out for the first time or reinventing, it just may end up being more permanent than you think, that you don’t want to get into something that you can’t get out of. Friend, I want to talk to you about the right to change your mind. I can’t tell you how many people don’t realize that changing your mind is a great thing.
(04:21):
We, in this society, have put so much pressure, maybe a little bit of pride on people who are able to come to quick decisive action and stick with a decision and see it through to the finish line. But we’re not exactly celebrating the people who changed their mind when presented with new information and apply that information for better results and remain flexible and adaptable and willing to change as they learn things and become a better version of themselves. Friends, in my years, I’ve learned that flexibility is everything, especially in being a mom, being a business owner. When you’re a mom, you’d never know what you’re walking into. How many of us have come home from a day of work, especially during pandemic times and walked into a home that we thought would be clean, but was a total disaster, a fridge that we thought was filled with food, but they ate the exact ingredients that were going into tonight’s dinner.
(05:19):
I mean, the unexpected is the only thing we can expect. And if we get into a place where we feel like we have to have everything figured out and know exactly what we’re doing moving forward, especially before you can start, well, how on earth are we going to start anything? So I want to talk to you about this. I’ve been having a conversation with the Hubbin, especially now, because next week is the season finale of our show, She’s the Boss on USA network. And guys, it comes on every Thursday at 10:30 PM, it has been an amazing ride. And we’ve been so excited to hear from all of you about how much you’ve enjoyed watching the kids grow up, laughing with our family and just generally enjoying positive, good old fashioned programming. And so we’re so grateful to have taken this journey with you. And we’re so glad you guys have tuned in, but our family has been talking about what comes next.
(06:10):
Now of course, you know, the Puffin is all in. This girl loves the camera and she’s like, why aren’t they here right now? But the rest of us are like, wow, what a journey. And we’ve been inside for so long. And we’re so excited to spend the summer having fun. Do we want cameras tagging along for that fun? Are we excited for season two? Is that something that we even think makes sense for our family? Now don’t take this to mean that we aren’t all in on bringing you more Walters weirdness. Sure we are. But we also are people who want to respect our right to change our mind. We love having the flexibility to sit down and say to ourselves, look now that we’ve experienced something. Now that we know more, let’s take the new information we have, lay it all out in front of us, and decide what are the next steps.
(07:02):
Does this still align? Is this still in keeping with our values and where we see our family going? And it’s with that knowledge and that experience, and of course, this path that we’re growing, that I want to encourage you to do the same. Whether it’s your politics, you’ve always kind of grown up thinking one thing or been raised in a household where there were certain conversation, but as you started experiencing things, meeting new people, getting out in the world and exposing yourself to additional views, you’re saying to yourself, you know, I think I’ve evolved beyond the thinking that I used to have before. And now that I know more, I think I’m willing to change my mind on that or in your business. If you’re saying to yourself, look, I really thought this was what I wanted to do. This was my passion. This was my purpose.
(07:47):
I was all in. But now that I’ve gotten into it and I know more about the numbers and the market and the clients, this actually doesn’t align with what I want to do after all. This isn’t who I think I am or where I think I’m going and now I’ve changed my mind. Know that it is a healthy, positive, encouraging thing that when presented with new information that evolves your thinking, for you to change your mind. We’re really proud in our household to be raising kids who know that the world is an ever-changing thing. And a lot of the unexpected things are coming your way that their primary job in life is to be willing to meet problems and to be ready to solve them. And we want to raise them to know that they’re capable of doing just that, but you can’t meet and solve problems if you aren’t willing to take in more information and you definitely can’t make progress and leave the world a better place if you’re not willing to embrace new ideas.
(08:45):
More than anything, I think that we’re all learning, particularly with the way this past summer went. And of course, in looking at all the things that have come to light in relation to race relationships, and political relationships and all the craziness of the world, that there are a lot more perspectives out there than maybe what we’ve been exposed to growing up or in our town or on our social media, that there are a lot of people live differently from the way that we do and have different experiences that are still very valid. And when we’re presented with that new information, as people, we should hear it, maybe hold a little bit of space for it. And if possible, if necessary, change your mind. I just want to let you know that if you’ve been saying to yourself, friend, I just don’t know if I’m ready to jump into that new thing.
(09:31):
I just don’t know if I’m ready to embrace that new business idea or renovate that house or add to that basement or get that haircut. Well, you know what do? Some research, that’s the first place you want to go. Get on the internet, get a mentor, get a guide, I’d love to work with you if you’re thinking about jumping into business, but get out there and gather the information that’s going to make you informed and make sure that you’re saying to yourself, I’m going to test some things out. But after all of that, I want you to recognize that just because you jumped in doesn’t mean you can’t jump out and know that you are allowed to say to yourself, I’ve learned more. And now I changed my mind about it. I want to tell you a little bit about when I quit my job.
(10:15):
Now, you’ve probably heard this story all over the place. And I know I’ve mentioned it in season one, but if you are just meeting me for the first time we’re hanging out for the first time, friend, I quit my job live online in front of 10,000 people. I know it sounds crazy, but the truth is I planned for it. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I didn’t quit my job so much as I hired myself. And because I was planned and prepared and I knew where I was going, it wasn’t so scary to make that decision. But one thing that I also knew that kind of kept me from being too scared to make that big leap, to jump into entrepreneurship full-time was that I always reserved the right to change my mind. I knew that when I got into it, if it wasn’t right for me, well, I could get out of it.
(11:01):
I mean, I’ve already done corporate world. I can always go back, right? The truth is if you’ve been working that nine to five job forever, especially if that job isn’t your first time ever having that job, you better believe you can get another job. And I knew that entrepreneurship was here for me. It was calling me right now. My purpose was screaming that you would find provision in it today. So I wanted to lean into that. And I figured I’ve given so much of my life over a decade to other companies and businesses. All I could not give myself a year. And I knew that as an extra level of protection, I could choose to give myself the beautiful boundary of saying, you know what? If this doesn’t work out, if I get new information about how entrepreneurship is shaping up, there is no shame, none whatsoever in making the decision to go back to corporate or to pick up a side hustle.
(11:52):
That’s actually a nine to five style job and moved my business back into a plan B role. There’s nothing wrong with that. And I just know that on social media and in society, there’s so many people who are saying, you gotta do it this way. It’s all about the hustle and grind culture. No matter what the consequences are, do it like this. If you aren’t sticking with it, if you aren’t consistent, you fail, fail, fail. You just aren’t worth it. And I just want to let you know that I don’t buy into all that, but I didn’t become successful because I was single-minded, focused, towards accomplishing a goal only one way. I didn’t build many different businesses, create millionaires and even helped my kiddo launch Summer Arrow by saying, look, if it doesn’t play out like this, it’s not gonna work. You’ve gotta be ready to pivot.
(12:42):
You’ve gotta be ready to be flexible. Sure. Have a plan in place, know the direction you want to go paint a vision for your future, but know that all along the way, it’s not going to be a straight line. You’re going to have new things introduced to you all the time at every turn. And what’s incredible about that is once you get that new information, if you’re smart, if you’re wise, you’re going to apply that information. You’re going to take that info. And you’re going to say, Hey, how could I do this better? How could I do this differently? Or do I need to do this at all? And wherever you decide to land, it’s the right place to be, particularly because you know something now. So friend after our chat, I would love for you to take some time to reflect on your job, on your parenting, on your childhood and on your relationships and say to yourself, have I been presented with new information?
(13:40):
Is there something that I know now that maybe I didn’t know before and with this new information, should I be looking at approaching things, this person, or this business, differently? How could I do that? And then I want you to start. Friend we’re all about growing here. And you’ve seen me grow and we’ve been on this journey together. And it is just one of the most incredible relationships that I have. You’re one thing I’m not changing my mind on. I’m so grateful that we get to have this time here every single week. And I would love to hear from you. So head over to Instagram or Twitter, I’m Nicole Walters all over the place and drop me a note. Let me know where you’re thinking about changing your mind, and maybe I’ve got some insight or some advice, or I could cheer you on. Either way, I’d love to hear from you. And of course, tune in this week to the season finale of She’s the Boss on USA network. It’s airing at 10:30 PM Eastern. I can’t wait to chat it out. And I’m so grateful that we’re always connected here. We’ll chat soon.
(14:59):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to Nicole walters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch. So make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration business details and the occasional funny story. And because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again, and make sure you subscribe and come back soon.
In this episode, I cover:
- What I’ve been hearing from you and my 1K1Day students,
- Why the choice to change your mind is so powerful,
- How to determine if it’s time to change your mind,
- What the Hubbin and I are discussing about the future of She’s the Boss, and
- How to utilize your ability to change your mind to be a power for good
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- Check Summer Arrow out HERE and on Instagram!
- Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or shoot me an email at hello@nicolewalters.com!
- Don’t miss She’s The Boss every Thursday at 10:30pm on USA network! You can watch on cable, SlingTV, YouTube TV, and more!
- Have you listened to our last episode on apologizing? Listen to it here!
- If you love our chats like I do, I’d so appreciate a review for the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!
More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:
The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!
Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.
Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!
Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!
by Nicole Walters | Mar 23, 2021
I’m Sorry
You know I don’t consider myself a parenting expert or a mom of the year, in fact I am just doing the best I can with what I got every single day! That’s why this episode is different than the rest because I’m sharing something that’s been on my heart when it comes to parenting. Today we’re talking about respect and when to say I’m Sorry. I’m really excited to have this chat with you.
Friend, thank you for coming here each week so we can have these conversations together! I love hearing from you on Instagram, Twitter, and in my email inbox. Let me know what you think after this episode too!
I’m so grateful for you friend – thanks for listening.
(00:00):
Hey friend, you’re listening to The Nicole Walters Podcast. I’m a former six-figure corporate executive who woke up every morning feeling stuck in the life that I built for myself but using my corporate skills I took to the Internet and built a multi-seven-figure business, showing others how they can build a life they love. Now on this podcast, I share stories of being an entrepreneur, a mom to my three amazing girls and a wife to my crazy, cooky dancing Hubbin. I’ve had a couple of viral videos too. So you know there’s going to be a lot of laughs here. So whether you’ve seen me on my viral vids or on the Today Show or read about me in Forbes, this is the place where we can meet, share stories, share laughs, and share fun. I’m your best friend in your head. So sit back, listen close, and let’s get started.
(00:52):
So I am beyond thrilled for us to have this time here together and for us to connect and chat and talk about all the things. Now today’s chat is actually a little different because you know that, um, I try not to style myself as a parenting expert or some mom of the year or anything like that. Lord knows I am doing the best I can with what I got every single day. So for me to ever pretend like I have it all together, couldn’t be further from the truth. Heck if you’ve been watching my show, She’s the Boss on USA network every Thursday at 10:30 PM Eastern, you know good and well that I’m a hot mess, but that said there is something that’s been on my heart to talk about. And I got to say, it’s always a little bit weird, right? Because we want to make sure that we’re respecting every person’s individual right to parent the way they see fit..
(01:47):
I’m a big believer in that. Right? However, I do also like, as friends, that come here every single week to chat, to have this moment where we can kind of connect and talk about what I have learned in my new parenting. So here’s what I found because I’m a newer mom, meaning I’ve only been at this thing for six years. I actually am coming at it in a perspective that maybe a little different from yours. And I don’t mean different, good or bad. I just mean different. And I wanted to kind of lend my perspective. And I also want to let you know that anything that I say I would love to hear your perspective on it. I would love for you to drop me a DM, shoot me an email, or throw me a tweet because as I’m looking to develop and grow in my own parenting, I am always interested to hear your thoughts.
(02:38):
And I really like fostering these conversations. So definitely say something back. If you got some thoughts on this, but here’s, here’s what I want to talk about today. I noticed, and not just from the internet aunties, but also from, you know, we’ve got people who are joining in, in our thing, right? We’ve had this internet friendship for a while, but people are joining in our thing that there always seems to be a lot of surprise feedback on how I have conversations with the girls. And I want to, I’ll dive deep on that. So what I mean is that if you’ve watched She’s the Boss, or if you have been keeping up on the Lives, or if you’re an internet auntie, who’s been here since day one when I was dropping the Puffin in the toilet and trying to figure out potty seats, you know, that I am extremely conversational in a fairly serious way with my kids.
(03:29):
Meaning I ask them their opinion. I honor their right for space. I take legitimate weight to their perspective. And I apologize to them, especially when I do it wrong. And especially when I should have gotten it right. And it’s okay. Always been interesting to me, particularly in feedback from the show and from some of the interviews and press that I’ve done recently, that that’s actually something that gets called out a lot. Now, if you are watching our hilarious videos on Instagram, Facebook, you name it, we’ve got tons of them that have gone viral. You also know that we keep it light around the Walter’s house. We laugh a lot. We have fun. We don’t take ourselves too seriously. And frankly, my kids don’t take me seriously at all. You know, I mean, I am an old school parent, meaning I do want to make sure that our kids have certain values and that they understand that we try to do right in the world.
(04:24):
We try to be the people we say we are, and that we try to make sure that we’re leaving things better than we found them. And that is all a part of how we carry ourselves, how we interact with each other and how we show ourselves grace and extend it. So all of that is reflected in my parenting. My kids are not going to get any free rides and they’re not going to get any easy out passes, but ultimately it’s a home full of respect. And that doesn’t just mean respecting me as the adult in the house. It also means me returning that respect to them. And that’s actually the thing that I wanted to talk about friend, is that weird? I mean, I know that we’re living in a society now where a lot of conversations are coming to the forefront that frankly probably should have been at the forefront a long time ago.
(05:10):
Things like respecting your personal boundaries, things like owning your right to say no more often, taking vacations, self care, extending yourself grace and owning and embracing imperfection. I mean, all of these things are hot topics and trending hashtags on Instagram, Twitter, and all over social media. But I also think it’s interesting that it seems it has really hit at the core of a lot of people when they see the way I interact with them. Let me give you an example, on an episode of She’s the Boss, I had interaction, if you will. And if you saw the episode, you know exactly what I’m talking about with a PTA mom. And in that interaction I basically had on my business hat instead of my mom hat and long story short, I had to make it right in the long run. And if you didn’t catch it, check your DVR, this episode’s a good one.
(06:01):
But at one point, and you’ll see it on the episode, but it happens all the time in our house. I just sat down with the Puffin and when I sat down with her, I explained to her, look, I messed this thing up and I got it wrong. And I’m really sorry. And it wasn’t okay and I’ll make it right. And this is a simple interaction that I try to apply everywhere, not just with my kids, but with my husband, with my friends, with my students, with my clients, and hopefully, and increasingly with myself, sometimes you get it wrong. You’re really sorry. And you’ll do better the next time. And I got so much feedback about this interaction. People saying that they grew up in homes where parents didn’t apologize to their children and that they thought it was really noteworthy and actually a little special that I took the time out to say that this was my mistake and I will fix it.
(06:55):
I got a lot of feedback from therapists who said that they were really excited to see that behavior modeled, not just for other parents, but also for other children to know and realize that it’s reasonable to have expectations when they are wronged, that somebody will make it right, whether that person’s an adult or another little person. So I guess that’s what I wanted to ask of you. And maybe for both of us to reflect on. I know that when I’m in my therapy sessions, often I grew up in a home that was more than old school, it was African. And not only are African parents never wrong, but you’re definitely not going to call them on it. And that meant that I grew up in a home where a lot of times I may have had feelings or thoughts or perspectives around how things were handled, how I was treated or things that I’ve seen that couldn’t really be discussed.
(07:46):
And it was something that I was mindful of in my own parenting, not only if I ever decided to have, or decide to have biological children. But it’s something that I was particularly mindful of with my own kids. See my girls come from a background that’s laden in trauma and they’ve witnessed and seen a lot of difficult things. So trust and truth are very important in our household. They’re so important that it’s something that we really keep at the forefront. And that’s maybe one of the learnings that I want to pass on, if you’ve noticed this as well in our interactions. It really works for us to kind of have things open-handed in front of our kids. Kids are really, really smart things back to your own upbringing. How long, how often did you understand more about what was going on than the adults ever let on?
(08:36):
How often did you overhear whisperings and know something was coming and wish you were in a position where you were able to ask about it? I mean, think about right now when you’re in corporate and the company keeps telling you, we’re not letting anyone go, we feel really good about it, but you see all the meetings and you hear about the calls. Your boss seems really tense and you know something is coming. It’s not really the best environment to be in. And then when I think about parenting, when you know, your parents are the ones you’re supposed to trust more than anything else, and you’re kind of counting on them to have your wellbeing in mind. It’s really tough when you know that they’re not being forthright about something and there’s no other place to go to get those answers. We knew when raising our girls that that wasn’t a home that we wanted to raise them and not just for our own personal value system, but also for their own well being.
(09:29):
We knew that if there was something going on and it was clear that they were going to be able to detect it and even more, if they were smart enough or capable enough or bold enough to ask about it, they deserved an answer and an honest one, and that’s how we’ve been approaching it. And it’s working really well for us. See, even with our oldest daughter, our BigTiny, she comes from a background where things weren’t always the truth and frankly lies weren’t even always a bad thing. Sometimes they were protective. Sometimes it was a way to maintain survival. So with us, we try to be forthright. We’ve always said, “Hey, you know, we may not have all the answers. We may not have it all figured out. We may not know left from right, or how this is going to play out. But what we do know is that we will tell you exactly what is going to happen next when we have that information.
(10:23):
And what we do know is that you can always trust that we have your back and that you will always be protected and seen first.” And it’s really worked for us. It’s helped us get closer as a family. Our kids know that we’ve got their back and they know that they can trust that if something’s going to change, we’re going to let them know right away. And they don’t have to live in a place of anxiety. And that we’re going to be right by their side the entire time. Now there’s the other side of it, friend. What if that thing is something that you screw up? What if you mess something up? What if you missed a birthday or forgot a gift or messed up with carpool pickup or, you know, the kids caught you on a bad day and you raised your voice.
(11:07):
What if they overheard some bad words on a phone call or maybe saw you not being your best self towards your spouse or your partner? What do you do in that situation? I don’t know the fancy answers. And I’m certain that there’s a therapist out there who’s going to say, “I don’t know if that’s how I’d approach it,” but I will tell you what we do because we try to have that open household. Well, we own it. So if I have a bad day and I raised my voice and one of my girls gets caught in the crossfire where I shift from doing one thing and I didn’t take off my business hat and put on my mom hat, I immediately, or as soon as I realize it, circle back and I square it up. I say, Hey, I’m so sorry about that, cutiepie. I was still in my business and it wasn’t okay for me to bring that into mom zone.
(11:56):
And I want you to know that that had nothing to do with you. And a lot of times I’ll use an analogy where I’ll explain, like, you know how when you’re really studying hard and you got super focused and you’ll look up at something else and your face still has a serious business face. It’s because your brain is still in one place, but maybe your mind is in another? That’s what happened. And I make a point of making sure that they understand that they feel safe, that they can ask questions about it and that they recognize that I’m imperfect. And I’m doing my best. Because one of the things that I’ve learned in this weird parenting world is that if I don’t teach my girls how to extend grace, how will they ever learn to extend it to themselves? And Lord knows they need it.
(12:42):
Right? I don’t want my girls, when I leave this planet someday, beating themselves up at every turn, just for being imperfect. I want them embrace it, seeing those imperfections and using them to propel themselves forward. So I say, sorry, I let them know that I’m working on myself every single day. And there isn’t some magical destination where you’ll suddenly have it all together. I also let them know that even though I’ve made mistakes, I’m working really hard to make sure I don’t do them again. And I let them hold me accountable. If there’s something I say, I’m going to do my girls know that they are safe to say, Hey mom, you said you would do this. Are you going to all through? Is this something you can do that something needs to change? And they do. Now I’m going to have a friend to friend moment.
(13:28):
This kind of sucks. Haha! It kind of sucks. It is not fun to have your kids look you in the face sometimes and say, “Hey mom, didn’t you say that we’d have a mommy daughter day today at 6 o’clock?” Especially when you’re completely tired, especially when you know, you just want to sit down, but it’s made me a better mother because there’s something about your kid looking you in your face, where you’re just like, you know what? I have a choice here. It’s not just about baking those cookies at the last minute that I said I would do. It’s also about the fact that I want to teach them that people do what they say they will do. It’s not just about the action. It’s about the greater lesson. And it’s an opportunity to model that behavior. And as an incentive, I don’t want to circle back and say, I’m really, sorry, I don’t want to have to circle back and have that conversation.
(14:19):
So it’s not easy, but I’m learning. And they’re the ones teaching me. And I’m hoping that in this chat today, that it helps. And that maybe you’ll see and maybe you’ll experience or maybe you have experienced. And you’re getting that kind of confirmation from our chat that there’s really some value between respecting your own children as independent people, developing their own little people brains and learning how to navigate their voices. That when they say no to something like, no, I don’t want to hug that family member or no, I don’t feel like a hopping on the phone with someone at a certain point, or maybe they have a relationship with a friend or they’re not quite ready to make up and make nice. And they need to navigate that emotion that we should grant them the space to work through some of that with conversation of course, and direction, you know, at the end of the day, we’re still mom and dad, right?
(15:15):
And maybe if you haven’t thought about saying sorry once in awhile or being open about the fact that you’re not perfect, and maybe you’ve been scared about doing it in your business or online or at the PTA or wherever else, you realize that a good place to start might be with the littles and know that the love you still, and they’ll trust you more and they’ll grow up not having those same fears because they recognize that, you know what, the first person I ever loved, wasn’t perfect either. And I still love her. So friend, I’m in it with you. This parenting game is not for chumps, but step-by-step, I think we’re getting better. And I know we’re creating some crazy awesome kids out there. I can’t wait to hear from you! Hit me up on social and I’ll see you this week on She’s the Boss on USA network this Thursday at 10:30 PM EST. You’ll get to watch and laugh at a new way that I messed all this stuff up. I cannot wait to hang with you! Bye friend!
(16:27):
Thanks so much for listening, friend. If you enjoyed this podcast, head over to Nicole walters.com. I’d love for us to stay in touch. So make sure you drop your email address so I can send you inspiration business details and the occasional funny story. And because I’m so generous, there might even be a selfie in the mix. Thanks again, and make sure you subscribe and come back soon.
In this episode, I cover:
- What I use to guide my parenting,
- Why I parent the way that I do based on my own childhood and my girls’ prior experiences,
- What I’ve gotten a lot of feedback on since She’s the Boss premiered, and
- When and why I say I’m sorry
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or shoot me an email at hello@nicolewalters.com!
- Don’t miss She’s The Boss every Thursday at 10:30pm on USA network! You can watch on cable, SlingTV, YouTube TV, and more!
- Have you listened to our last episode on what’s next for me? Listen to it here!
- If you love our chats like I do, I’d so appreciate a review for the show! You can share your thoughts on Apple here!
More about The Nicole Walters Podcast:
The Nicole Walters Podcast is for the everyday entrepreneur that wants to increase their income but doesn’t know where to start. If that’s you, you’re in the right place!
Nicole Walters is a wife, mom, income strategist, entrepreneur, and the founder of The Monetized Life™. Join Nicole each week for a new episode packed with what you need to know to gain clarity, grow your network and monetize your life using the proven corporate strategies she mastered in 10 years as a Fortune 500 executive.
Whether you’re just starting out and don’t know your next step, or you’re multi-passionate and don’t know the right next step, Nicole is here to break it down for you! Richfriend, let’s add some commas to your bank account!
Listen each week. Do. The. Work, and success WILL come!