Season 4, Episode 15: Peace and Profits

Season 4, Episode 15

Nicole: Y’all, again, I don’t have people here unless I know for a fact it’s going to be good. You have heard from Dr. Scott Lyons, you’ve heard, I literally only bring people in that I know are great. I am so excited because the person that I have here today, when I tell you she is our people, I mean, she is our people. I have known Kendra Nicole for, I want to say, like, almost eight years now, six years now.

It’s been a while. And she is. Easily one of my go to financial experts, super mamas. She has been in a relationship now for I think like three years, four years. I mean, she is an incredible do it all woman. She’s also beautiful and smart and kind and, I’m just so excited because today’s chat is going to be unlike anything you’ve ever heard because we’re going to keep it all the way real.

We are going to talk about money. Y’all know, it’s my favorite topic and also the most uncomfortable topic. And we’re going to talk about some shifts that you’re going to make that you’re not hearing in other places, but will absolutely change your life. So Kendra, thank you so much for being here.

Kendra: Oh, thank you for having me, Nicole. I love

Nicole: to jump right in. Okay, I want to jump right in because they’re not listening to me. I have

Kendra: spent

Nicole: a whole two seasons talking about how money has stressed me the heck out or the act of getting money has stressed me the heck out and you are all about peace and profits.

Kendra: about it.

Nicole: Tell me what the heck does that mean?

Kendra: It’s really about balancing, um, the art and an act of making money with doing it in a way that, um, keeps you fulfilled, right?

So that you can keep going. And I was not always about peace and profits. I was just about profits, right? Like, I

Nicole: I felt Like, there was this window of time where we actually met each other where that really was the language. There wasn’t burnout talk. There wasn’t any of that. It was, Corporate’s a scam. Get the heck out. There is a lot of money to make. Do it now. Make as much as possible. It’s all that matters by any means

Kendra: Work as much as you can do do everything that you can to build scale build scale like absolutely 100 percent

Nicole: and it was, you’re already doing this in corporate anyways, the gag is just do it for yourself, but work the same level of crazy, you’ll make more money and it’s

Kendra: but you have time freedom now, right

Nicole: have time freedom.

Kendra: But you don’t because you’re still working the guitar, but you’re supposed to have time freedom, right?

Nicole: And the catch 22 was Gen Z was all age three, four at that point.

Then, then they got hip to it. Right. And Gen Z now is in their twenties having their own babies. And they’re like, Oh, y’all are playing yourselves because we don’t even care about a six figure anything. If it’s going to kill us, we would rather sleep in our cars.

Kendra: then you see that and you’re like, okay, well, hey, wait, wait a second. Okay, there’s something, there’s something to this, you know?

Nicole: right. There’s something to the fact that our own kids are looking at us saying, Wait, the way you’re doing it’s not how I want to do it either.

So walk me through how you realize this especially as a numbers person, which is why, like, I’m so excited you’re here, because you hear everybody and their mama talk about more peace, less burnout, blah, blah, blah.

It is rare that you hear a financial person saying, Oh no, honey, don’t make less money because you stressed. And that’s how you help these women. So tell me about

Kendra: and I will say in the beginning when I was all profits and I would hear that, I’m like, that’s so woo woo. Don’t listen to the more peace.

Don’t listen to the perfect alignment. Make the money, girl. Make the money. And then, um, the tipping point for me was having my son. because. Prior to Carter, it was all work, work, work, work, um, got pregnant, was like, um, okay, well, uh, I’ll have this maternity leave. Like I was like all prepared and ready to go, had no maternity leave.

When you own a business, you don’t have a maternity

Nicole: is that? Uh, how can I leave from my house?

Kendra: exactly. I was like, This doesn’t really quite work the way I was thinking, but I thought that I was going to have one. And so, you know, I had some reduced calls and hours and things like that. But the exact point was when I was trying to nurse Carter while on a call with a client, bouncing on a yoga ball, praying that he would like fall asleep while I’m going over my client’s financials.

And he’s getting fussy. And it happened a couple of times before. And my clients were amazing, very forgiving. But this one particular time. Uh, the client got a little sassy and I was already, of course, hormonal and like feeling like I was going to get judged. But then when she said what she said about, you know, my inability to properly parent and to manage, the business properly because of this chaos, absolutely did.

So

Nicole: first and foremost, I just want to say to all the mamas listening, if you cannot extend fellow mama grace, don’t, don’t go there.

Don’t go there. Bless you.

Kendra: It was tough. I

Nicole: you burst into tears. What y’all don’t know is Kendra Nichols is softy. Okay. She didn’t cuss nobody out. She cried.

Kendra: cry in front of you, Nicole, 90 percent of the time that I see you. So yes, this is true. Um, but in that moment, yeah, I 100 percent was like, This is not what I got into business for like it it a it made me very sad But then also I was just like this is not this isn’t the move like this is not what I was in this for and so I was hard on myself because I’m like I plan for this and you know I thought I was prepared and so at that moment though is when I realized okay.

I have to shift this model. I have to understand that I have to make sure there’s proper alignment with clients and like go through the whole thing. Right. But I knew that at that point it was not about just making as much money as possible and bringing this business to whatever number there had to be some piece there of, um, ensuring that I’m working with the proper people, ensuring that I have the proper hours that if I need to go and put my son to sleep because he’s fussy and he’s one month old, that I can do that and not feel like.

You know, like I’m a horrible businesswoman and I’m literally at that exact point is when everything shifted for me and I was like, this is not just about scaling like this is about making sure that there is that proper balance.

Nicole: Wow. And I think what really stands out to me in that story is that we hear about balance being, I say it all the time, balance is bogus, right? It’s never going to be perfect balance, but there is prioritization. And in that moment, it was like, look, the priority is my baby. And it’s not a, I mean, I’ll just be the one who’s transparent to say it, you know, sometimes that parenting may not be where you want to be, but it is the priority, you know, and I need the flexibility to be there if I need to, because you never know your kids shifting focus.

I have a similar story with Chrissy when she was going through chemo. You know, um, when she got that diagnosis, when I tell you that was the first time I realized, I literally don’t care about this business. Like, I thought I cared about it. I really was like, this is the thing that has been my primary focus for six, seven years.

I’ve just only been focused on this. But when I tell you, if they told me in that instant, that moment, you will never make another dollar. You will lose everything you have. You will sleep on a box, but Chrissy will live. And that was when I was like, Oh, wow. None of this matters if, if the right things aren’t okay.

So what were the first steps that you took to start transforming your business to allow you to be, you know, mom and a Carter?

Kendra: The very first thing was figuring out what am I really looking for? Like what am I really doing this for? And that’s when I realized like time at that point was my highest priority. Like I needed to be available when I want it to be available. I need to be able to wake up any morning and say today I can’t take a call or I can’t take a

Nicole: So wait, wait, wait, wait, let’s be clear about this because everyone says shifting from corporate to entrepreneur is to get time

Kendra: Yeah.

Nicole: but. What there’s this thing that no one has talked about which I think is kind of what I’m trying to call out here That’s so important is time flexibility So I may have the freedom to schedule where I want to but listen It has to hit the schedule for me to make money time flexibility is oh I don’t have to do it at all.

And that was what you were actually seeking

Kendra: Because I mean, at the end of the day, I still had dozens of clients that I had to have like monthly calls with, and I had to talk to the team about their accounting work.

And so there was still work that had to be done. But did it have to be done every Tuesday at 2:00 PM or if Carter was fussy at one 50, could I move that 2:00 PM. to another time and still get done. And that was what was more important to me was how can I make sure that everything is getting done the way that it needs to get done, but it doesn’t have to be so perfectly, you know, uh, scheduled and calendarized and all of that, that I can’t also have the flexibility to be mom first.

so I had to shift things around because before, yeah, my focus was just like, you If I had an hour in the day to get work done, then I’m going, I’m gonna get work done. I mean, it’s another hour where I can work and now it’s like that hour. I have no idea what’s gonna happen next Wednesday at three o’clock.

Carter gonna have the flu. I can, you know, I can get sick. You know, you have no clue.

Nicole: could be, you could even have something on the calendar for exactly two o’clock. Everything could be totally financial too. And then you’ll hear a crash in the other room and you’re like, I am going to be late to this call because you decided you wanted something off the top shelf.

And now we’re going to urgent care. So this is the thing right now. And I need to know that I can shift things accordingly. I so aligned. I know everyone right now is like, yes, yes, yes. So, okay. Truth moment. How did it work? Was it easy and seamless in the beginning?

Kendra: I’m telling you. It can’t be some people because she’s like, what?

Nicole: our people because she’s like, look, I’m not gonna lie to you.

It was a mess. So how did it work in the beginning?

Kendra: you wanna know why it was messed my own it was like my own mental mess clients were amazing They were like Kendra take the time Some of them were actually shocked that I’m taking calls when I have a son that’s two months old They’re like, why are we on a call?

Nicole: then we also have, so I don’t know about you, so let me not project, but it’s like, literally, I’m like, Oh, no, I’m

Kendra: and

Nicole: like, that’s my

Kendra: like

Nicole: no, it’s fine. Literally,

Kendra: eyelash falling off, right

Nicole: a disaster, right? Half the boob is out, hair is a mess. And I’m like, do you mind if I turn off my zoom camera?

Because my baby just spit up all over me. Like, whatever. And literally you’re saying to yourself, though, I’m fine. Like, because I also wanted to be able to be the person who could. No one was even asking it of me. But I wanted to be the mom who could who can do it and say that this isn’t an issue, even though other moms are giving you

Kendra: Absolutely. And so take the grace and, you know, appreciate it and, um, accept it. But, but yeah, a lot of it was my own mess in the beginning.

The team was great. Like they were willing to do things. I think it’s just that shift, you know, I don’t know if it’s corporate shift or whatever it is, the type A shift, but it’s just like, You can actually accept that you can have flexibility once you, like, you have to accept it though. It’s hard. It’s weird.

It’s like, wait, I can reschedule this meeting today? Like,

Nicole: also, like, can we just say, and I think that you probably realize this quickly, too, if it doesn’t get done or if it gets shifted, like the world didn’t end,

Kendra: listen, Nicole,

Nicole: it didn’t end.

Kendra: I had to learn that very, very early on because I just, and my dad actually had to be the one to tell me. He was like, Because I’m like calling him.

Nicole: dad. Y’all don’t know about this.

Ken Nicole’s, Abby Knowing

Kendra: My dad, he’s awesome. And I was like calling him about the laundry not being done. And like, there was like a bottle in the, in the sink. And he’s just like, Kendra, like, what are you?

It’s fine. It’s fine. Like, don’t stress about it. I’m like, well, well, what about? And so, yeah, there was a lot of having to come over that. But I’ll tell you. That once I finally worked through those things and got to that other side and really did find because you’re absolutely right. There is no perfect balance.

Balance is bogus. But once I found how to prioritize and how to refocus every day on what’s important to me in that moment and follow to that, I can’t, I can’t look back like there is no going back. And so in my opinion, starting like, how do you find that peace and profits? It’s, you start with. What is important to you right now and if it’s, you know, if it is the profit side more because maybe you’re wanting to get to a certain amount to send your kids off to college or do whatever.

Sure, great. But when you’re working hard and things get rough, you have that to look towards to know that, okay, well, this is what I’m going for, but you have to know what that is. And that makes it a lot easier to go through those hard times that you will go through. But being aware of what it is just, you know, makes it a lot easier to get there.

Nicole: that makes so much sense, like setting an intentionality of that goal so that you can say, like, because honestly, it’s the intentionality that lets you have the flexibility part of the freedom.

So it’s time, freedom and flexibility as you’re marching towards an intentional goal versus, oh, I’m going to work like this forever and I’ll just, life will have to fit around it, which is just not realistic, not realistic. So I want to. sort of shift gears, but tie it in as well. So I’m the breadwinner, you know, in my household, in my relationship.

And I always have been as an entrepreneur. Part of that is because, of who I am, right? Like, it’s just my predestined, you know, nature that I, it is very difficult to make more money than me because I will always make a lot. And we thank God for it. I receive it, Lord. Yes, more,

Kendra: know, nothing wrong with that.

Nicole: know, nothing wrong with that.

I work really and all of that, but.

Kendra: it

Nicole: brings a unique set of issues around this sort of peace and profits because and you’re the breadwinner as well, right? So yeah, so knowing this, that you’re in this place where you literally don’t care if you make another dollar because my baby needs this right now.

Also, some of that’s hormonal. I don’t know what it is about having kids. Your brain snaps. Like you literally will be like, I don’t care about anything because my baby needs, which is not right. It’s not rational

Kendra: You can start a business if

Nicole: want to and you can choose to not listen to us and do it right and just do whatever but I promise you when that baby shows up or that kid needs something you’ll be right here with us like it’s whatever so.

Your brain snaps. How did you reconcile the fact that you are a breadwinner with this sort of, I don’t, I need to prioritize my kid and we may go broke.

Kendra: You know what?

Nicole: freak out? Like, what? Like, pretty good.

Kendra: You know what? I didn’t. I didn’t panic. but I think that that’s just having faith in the business and in my ability. And I don’t know how this is going to come out like sounding, but

Nicole: because I’m going to have questions about that because I think people react differently to this, you know?

Kendra: Yeah. I think there’s like some, I think some of us just have this ability or this feeling and this faith that We’re going to be able to make the money regardless, like whether it’s the business or take the business away.

I’ll be able to figure out another way to make the money, you know, and I think that with that I don’t have that that fear or that concern now, of course There’s also because I have planned and stashed money in all kinds of different ways So I think that’s probably when I’m leaning back on the most

Nicole: I wanted to say that it’s a combination, right? Because I do think that you’re completely right. And I, and one of the questions I get, especially since the divorce and sharing all this from a lot of women is, you know, you went through this divorce, but Nicole, I didn’t see you sleeping in your car.

I didn’t see you borrowing money from people, you know, it doesn’t look like your lifestyle changed very much, you know, how’d you do that? And part of it is that, you know, I made sure that I lived a life where I was living below my means, you know, I made sure that. If, you know, mandated for health reasons, I had the means to take care of myself for a full year, you know, and all of that came from making very careful decisions.

And you’re saying that you did that anyways financially,

Kendra: Absolutely. Absolutely. You have to prepare for it. I mean, that’s where the confidence is going to come from to do anything, to be able to cancel that meeting, to do whatever you need to do with your kid or, you know, like having that financial confidence, knowing that you have whatever amount of money in your savings account, whatever amount of money, if it’s stocks or whatnot, although you need to have some liquid cash, right?

Nicole: cash always. Listen, even a little cash in the house, like cash,

Kendra: Yes, yes. Yeah, always. Um, but that’s, that’s for sure going to be that safety net that’s going to allow you to really enjoy that freedom that you’re kind of working for as an entrepreneur. Yeah, right. You

Nicole: absolutely. And you guys have heard me say it when it comes to like my values and products and working, it’s been really nice to be able to say no, you know, like if a project comes, you know, and I don’t want to do it because it’s not even in value alignment.

It’s like, I don’t need this money. It’s a no, you know? And that does come from. the work, but again, I think it’s something that we share with intentionality. It’s part of why we were working was to be able to intentionally say, Oh, I don’t have to do this. But even, even us, we even had to come to a point where we were like, Oh, this is the time to push that button and start paying ourselves, you know, because we were like, We’ll just keep working, you know, and that’s not realistic.

So I love hearing that I’m going to be honest, though, panic does set in, you know, panic does set in where I say to myself, Oh my gosh, the money’s running out, you know, where I’m like, I’m working and I’m drawing from this thing where it was my safety cushion net, you know, like I have a, I have a My savings account when it goes below a certain number, which is imaginary.

So this is me tapping into your financial person brain, you know, and I’ve said things to you, like I save way too much for taxes, you know, just because I get nervous and all of this, is this why it makes sense for anyone to work and have a financial team so that you can know what your healthy number is versus your number that may be based on scarcity or fear, you know,

Kendra: absolutely. I think and that person could be like a CFO in the business or it could be a financial manager or a wealth manager. I mean, there’s different ways to kind of look at it, but there definitely should be someone who is aware of your financial situation, aware of your needs and your wants and aware of your future plans and what you’re wanting in the future so that they can help you keep all of that in mind when you’re making decisions or if you’re potentially getting concerned about something.

Um, but they are like literally in your financial corner. Now, in your. financial corner. So if you are, if you are with partner, with spouse, with, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever, that’s cool. And maybe you guys have someone else, but like you have to have someone, you as an individual have to have someone who was in your financial corner, who likely knows more about your financial business than said partner.

Nicole: Oh, okay. So this is what we’re doing here today. So auntie Kendra just came out and she’s about to tell you about yourself. So I told you we were the same. So

Kendra: So here we go.

Nicole: Let’s talk about that. So you know, with all the things that strong, you know, capable women do, and I just say that because we have some women, you know, who listen that are my friends here, who May not have collected all their money yet, but they are doers.

You know what I mean? We will get that money any type of way, right? Like we’ll do what we need to do to provide for our families. And they may not feel like they’re worth the prenup today, but they know that that money is coming and they need it signed

Kendra: their time. So

Nicole: you’re saying because I get I come across this all the time.

Well, my husband is my partner, like, we’re married, it’s all in the household, all this, but, but, I think we both had a look into the corporate world, men typically don’t see it

Kendra: A lot

Nicole: A lot of these men will have their businesses solely in their name, funds in their name, everything on their own, and yet women tend not to do the same

Kendra: tell me

Nicole: Can you tell me a little bit about what you’ve seen, I mean, you work with women who are quite wealthy, and how are they with their money in relation to their partners?

Kendra: Yeah, it’s so interesting you say that because I actually used to work with someone who, um, a male and he had assets, all kinds, he had homes, boats that the wife didn’t know about and she had no clue, home, like whole properties.

Yes, absolutely.

Nicole: Rolexes, you buy artwork, you buy these things because you have to put the money somewhere.

Kendra: and, and I’m sure maybe there were times where things were purchased and he just forgot to Mentioned at the dinner table, you know, you know, so it’s possible, but I would venture to say that if that was a woman that went off and brought like bought another property, she probably would have told her spouse at the dinner table, might have mentioned it, you know, Hey, babe,

Nicole: the new home in Aspen

Kendra: Right, you know, and so I do think that there is a difference there. Um, why? Who knows? All kinds of reasons, I’m sure, but, regardless, I do think that, um, individuals, but particularly women need to be very confident in understanding what their financial situation is across the board. And before they are concerned about, does my partner know and understand and respect and agree, they need to just be very clear on what it is.

And there’s a lot of, um, A lot of times, regardless of how much money you’re making, whether your money is on the way, or whether you have it already stashed and stacked up, there’s a lot of fear, I feel like, around just like taking complete ownership of what your financial situation is. and that has to get worked through because you have to be clear on where you are and clear on where you’re wanting to go, but first clear on where you are.

so yeah, I mean, I definitely suggest having someone.

Nicole: a picture and it’s interesting that you say all this because just, you know, full transparency, A lot of women feel, at least in my experience that I’ve seen, that, you know, they kind of blur the line between their business role and their wife role, you know, and they often feel like, well, as a wife, of course, we’re partners, of course, it’s a mutual business.

And what’s interesting is if there’s any part of you that feels weird, whenever you say that in relation to your partner, it might also be telling about your relationship, you know, and so I can easily say that for the entire duration of my marriage. to my husband, you know, I’ll say clearly anytime he would use the phrase, um, partner

Kendra: Mm-Hmm. , or,

Nicole: you know, we’re in this, we’re doing this together or anything like that.

I shut that down so

Kendra: Mm-Hmm

Nicole: and he’ll tell you that too. And I say it with no shame. It’s not something I’m embarrassed about. And people can think any way they want about me. I look back now and I’m like, that is really telling I shouldn’t have even Felt the need to say that to him on a lot of ways. Cause my current guy knows it’s my business.

It’s not even really a conversation. It’s my business. You know, even though he supports me in my business, it’s my business. And you know, my ex at one point worked for me. As an employee, W2’d in my business, but it was always my business. And so he would use the word partner and

Kendra: No,

Nicole: it’s my business.

I was like, and I would literally stop and be like, I just want to be completely clear about your use of partner here.

Kendra: It’s your business. Yeah.

Nicole: Just shut it down.

Kendra: You have to.

Nicole: You have to, you know, and. However, if you have to do that, it’s probably a sign of other things in the relationship. Just letting any of you know, if any of you feel hyper protective about saying that, there may be other conversations that need to be had.

But all that being said, I’m grateful that I was always really clear because that has helped me down the line. And it has also affected the way that I’ve approached the finances. You know, everything’s in my name, everything’s, you know, mine, you know what I mean? And I think that we sometimes, you know, for whatever, for historical reasons.

You know, really will feel the need to

Kendra: feel the need

Nicole: business is separate from the marriage.

Kendra: our partners. The business, you know, the business is separate.

Nicole: of being

Kendra: very clear from the beginning about what business you have, what together you guys have, but the assets and everything that’s with your business is your business.

And I’m just being very clear on that. And also understanding that how much you share about your businesses, financials is also up to you.

You know,

Nicole: standpoint and a relationship standpoint. So obviously neither one of us is relationship experts here, you know, but we’re saying like from a relationship standpoint, you can say, look, this is my business. This is your thing, but also from an accounting standpoint, not mixing those two can really help.

Even if you aren’t saying it out loud, paperwork wise, it’s pretty clear.

Kendra: day to day decisions in the business. Like once you start to, let me think about it. If you’re always asking your partner for advice on like financial advice, or should I hire this person? Should I have that person now? Some things, sure, just to kind of get their thought on. But if you’re always asking them things and making them almost feel like they are a partner in the business and then turn around and say, but no, you know, so it’s just a lot easier to kind of.

Keep things as clear as possible. Now, they’re going to know some aspects of the business anyways, because when they look at a tax return, they’re going to see how much property you’re bringing, right?

Nicole: on the type of business you have. So like I have a business where. You know, if I’m going to a red carpet or if I have a book release, like obviously he knows and he’s parts of it. And I will say like, you know, with Alex, I definitely, Alex, more so than my previous partner, I ask his opinion of things, you know, where I’ll say, you know, this is how I’m looking at it.

Cause I know he looks at things from a

Kendra: I’m really

Nicole: I’m really big on, can I get your opinion on this, which is a clear delineation between. You know, I need your help versus I’m asking your take. And then the other phrase that we use to support each other is solutions or support.

Kendra: That’s

Nicole: You know, so it’s like when one of us starts sort of business venting, it’s do you need solutions or do you need support?

Kendra: Yeah. ’cause

Nicole: are you asking me to give you advice from some business angle or do you just need a space?

Kendra: Oh, that’s good. I need, I need to start that because I dive straight into solutions and I’m sure Ashley sometimes it’s like, I don’t really want to know what you

Nicole: want, they want to suffer.

Kendra: Yeah. Like

Nicole: everyone understands that. And listen, it applies to teenagers. It applies to children, everything.

Do you want solutions for, I even use it with toddlers, you know, do you just need a hug right now? Or do you want me to help? Do you need a hug or do you need help? And so I was like, I just need a hug. And I was like, okay, cool. Let’s

Kendra: work through it. Yeah.

Nicole: So I’m, so, you know, All day, that

Kendra: filling that, filling it,

Nicole: was still, it’s still working on it. So you’re saying that numbers wise, that in a business from an accounting standpoint, being really clear about what we decide to share financially is still up to us and we can change the range on that. And obviously, if I feel nervous about sharing things, accounting wise, that also may be a sign of other

Kendra: Yeah, and I think it’s like less about necessarily like the nerves of it and more about understanding like once you open that door, um, they just might have thoughts and insights. But to your point, maybe you want those thoughts and insights like that might work too. I just don’t, you know, I, I have seen and I hate to see clients who have, um, Open that door to not even just partners, but parents and family members that they’ve kind of brought into the business and then they try to, they try to set the separation and it’s like, yeah, but you’ve already, you’ve given them access to all your bank accounts.

You’ve given them, you know, they’re running payroll for your team. Like, they’re basically a part of your company now and now you’re trying to say, yeah, but you can’t make any decisions. And so it’s just being, I guess, again, intentional from the beginning on what you want that relationship to look like and how you want it to go.

Because, um, once you start bringing folks into your business, it’s uh, it’s hard to

Nicole: at risk,

Kendra: right? Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole: I can’t tell you how many people I have had in my office saying, oh, my sister does this for me or my cousin does this for me and they’re just so good at this part of they used to do HR for this and and the thing is one. Most of the time, they’re not as good as they think, you know, like when I start looking at the work, I’m like, this is actually pretty sloppy work.

It’s just better than what you have done for yourself. So you

Kendra: part is I

Nicole: And the hardest part is I want someone who I can fire, you know, so I’ll have employees who are like, man, you know, working for Nicole, I thought it would be all roses because she’s so grace filled and Baba and I’m like, it’s still a business, you know, and you may not have liked that you thought it was going to be roses.

And I’m like, I’m writing you up and you’re like, go, you know what I mean, but

Kendra: mean? But. Yeah. I’m

Nicole: glad I can do that. It’s harder to do that with

Kendra: So much.

Nicole: I’ve had family members work for me. I’ve had, you know, and it just, it never goes well because there are times where they’re expecting a level of empathy and compassion and grace and extra where it just does not meet the moment of the task.

You feel bad because you want to give it and you can see how it would be appropriate from a sibling standpoint but in terms of the work part you can’t, you know, and then not to mention numbers. God, I don’t want to be responsible for my family’s household income, you

Kendra: and then you might extend that grace for so long and then that might build up resentment because you’re like, okay I’m extending this grace and I’m you know trying to Make sure that you you know still have this income coming in, but you’re not seeing that and you’re still not, you know improving

Nicole: that from like an accounting, because you see the numbers on the back end and the numbers don’t lie, you know, people giving raises or unfair salaries to family members or things like that where it’s like, Why are you paying this person 150K? This job typically goes for 45K.

Okay.

Kendra: Absolutely all the time all the time all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I’ve seen I’ve seen folks in their in their siblings business give themselves a raise without asking the owner of the business.

Nicole: girl. That’s

Kendra: And they’re just like, well, things have happened in my life and I need to make more money and I’m going to pay myself more.

And so they, they went and ran a higher payroll. I mean, it’s, it’s insane the amount of disrespect it absolutely is. And there’s still an employee in the business. So, you know, it just, it makes things a lot harder, you know, and business is already hard enough as it is running a business. So just, you know, be.

It might come in and make more complications unnecessarily and sometimes not all the times. But sometimes hiring family members can just make that harder. You know,

Nicole: well, we’ve covered different, a lot of different aspects of peace in relation to profit, you know, peace within self, you know, of, uh, parenting and feeling good and being willing to let go and peace within our interpersonal relationships with our partners, with our family, with our friends. But I want to talk about peace.

in relation to purpose, right? We talked about the intentionality and knowing where we’re going. And I think that, you know, not to tell all your business, but, I met you when you’re kind of starting out, you know, and which is unbelievable considering where you are now. I mean, you, this woman has built an incredible, wildly profitable, crazily impactful business.

And it’s like, Not to mention family at the same time. When I met her, she was unmarried, no babies. Now she’s like, she’s gonna have a football

Kendra: couple of

Nicole: know, and, you know, she’s got this incredible business, employees, all of that. And one of the things we talk about often now, you know, is kind of, the what’s next, you know, around our peace and our purpose and what gives us peace and knowing how we’re going to show up, you know, babies being kind of the baseline.

That’s our focus for right now. But what do you see for yourself? How does someone still maintain the profits without casting a vision of working forever for themselves?

Kendra: that’s a good question. I mean, honestly, I feel like the business, um, and the accounting work and the CFO work, like, I feel like that’s just going to continue.

And, I have shifted to, um, expanding the team so that I can kind of back out of some of the day to day more, but the, uh, passion of serving women. in their businesses is, is there and will never go anywhere. Like I always want to be there to ensure that women are confident in their numbers, confident in their ability to create strategies and scale their businesses.

So that’s definitely not going anywhere. Um, but yeah, you’re right. I want to be able to do that while growing my family and while You know, having a real maternity leave this time, you know, like, so, yeah, I’m, I’m definitely learning as I’m going on how to, like, find that proper balance. But the, the biggest part for me right now is actually growing up, continuing to grow out that team so that I can back out of that day to day and just continue to support.

Women because women like we’re still the highest number of folks going into entrepreneurship and building businesses. We need the support so definitely going to continue down that

Nicole: do you think is the biggest transformation you’ve seen in yourself from then to now?

Kendra: from like when I first first met you. Oh nicole. How many have?

Nicole: cause here’s the thing, like people are going to follow up and they’re going to see you and they’re going to, cause this is going on YouTube, they’re going to listen to the, you know, they’re going to, you know, they’re going to look you up, they’re going to click and they’re going to see this incredibly composed, you know, I always tell people, I’m like.

You are the epitome of put together and like from the from the outside, you know what I mean? Like put together right like, you know accomplish but and all of that is very true, you know And I think part of working with finances are that people are so nervous with them that you can’t match that energy And I see that a lot in you where it’s like you really know how to remain calm and wise and clear, even if people are coming to you in chaos, you know, and that’s something you do very well and is required for the job.

But little do people know, like when I say, if I could make a list of like the softest,

Kendra: people I know

Nicole: life, you are like top

Kendra: you are like top

Nicole: are all like

Kendra: all like babies, and hugs, and love, and kisses. You

Nicole: you were just like, feels, feels, feels a little do people know, you know, like, you know, that is very much who you are.

And, you know, That has never changed. I think that I saw it a lot more before, you know, to now, because so much has happened. But, transformation wise, what is the number one thing you like about yourself now? You know, that you have grown and blossomed and hope to continue to grow. And then what do you think you’ve lost a little bit? That you kind of Either hope to rediscover or,

Kendra: Yeah. So if transformation wise, I’ll, um, I’ll actually say you had a lot to do with this. When I first, when I first met you, listen, it’s literally that story of when I first met you.

Nicole: I will never forget that

Kendra: I mean,

Nicole: life. I’ll

Kendra: changed my life pre meeting you pre that day. I was still in the closet. Yes. I was not yet married. Course you weren’t.

Nicole: know, you knew how

Kendra: you felt. I know how I felt

Nicole: I tell you, y’all don’t know when I met Kendra that day, she was so in love. I know. Cause I recognize it. Cause that’s how I feel now. This girl was like, I’m in love and I want to marry her. I know it’s going to be a thing. Mind you, they’re married now, got babies, blah, blah, blah.

You know, but as she was like, I don’t know, I have this business and I don’t know what I want to do. I was like, girl,

Kendra: But I was so.

Concerned about what would happen if I told because I was also still incorporated at the time So I hadn’t even told my boss and my boss was amazing and but I was fearful of telling him I was fearful of telling other folks at work I was fearful of telling the social media audience that I had built up for the business and I was like How is this gonna impact the business?

I was just so concerned but yet I saw you on stage living your best life Authentic life, talking about your relationship and your kids. And, you know, I was like, who is this beautiful black woman in this interracial, interracial relationship? Just like,

Nicole: whatever.

Kendra: don’t care what anybody says. This is what it is.

And so that’s literally why I went to that event. And then I got the fact that I got to actually talk to you and attempt to share that story with you through the tears and the, you know, sobbing, you know, I know you’re probably like, okay, wait, what? But okay. Um, but.

Nicole: were engaged like what? A couple months

Kendra: Yeah, I was engaged shortly after, which is when I was like, okay, you got to get this together because people are going to ask you about your fiance and now you have to actually like talk about this.

Um, nobody cared.

Nicole: was such a, like, I mean, when I tell you I was like. You were in tears. I thought you were gonna talk. Tell me something for real. I’m not even gonna lie. I was like, I mean, is she secretly broke to try to help people with finances? Because that’s what it is on this internet. You know what I mean?

I was like, nah, she’s in love. I was like, that’s not the thing. We’re not gonna make that the thing. Please go be in love.

Kendra: But that was the transformation. It was, it was coming out. It was, um, very shortly after then just living 100 percent authentically how I am and, you know, not caring about what the Instagrams and all of that had to say. And, man, like. Just the freedom on the other side of that was

Nicole: for your story too. Have you had any like women reaching out or anyone saying like, you know, just seeing you build this family? I mean, you have such a beautiful, like y’all have not seen her son. Like, listen. I literally am over here, like if you’re trying to cook, like you can crank out one or two of those for me.

I’ve asked you outright. I’ve said, listen, you make very good babies, like very cute. So, I mean, has anyone reached out

Kendra: Yeah, yeah, folks DM me and they’re just like, you know, thanks so much for like being this example and all. And I’m just like, that’s exactly what I was coming to you and saying, you know, thank you so much for being this example of being able to just show up and being you and not really caring, you know, um, because

Nicole: have a problem anyways.

Kendra: Regardless, um, but the, the impact that you had and, and that that meeting with you had and then to be able to like, work with you later as my coach and you know, like,

Nicole: just text all the time. I’m like, tell me the baby thing, girl. Let me tell you how this, can you believe this? Like,

Kendra: Yeah, I, that was definitely the biggest transformation and it’s just, it’s made a huge impact, um,

Nicole: you’re so, you’re so kind. That was really nice of you to come here and say that y’all, like, please, you have no idea, like, Kendra has me out here trying to get my body right, get my life right, have these babies every single day.

Kendra: I can absolutely pinpoint that as being, because pre that date, I was nervous. I was always, you know, I knew that I could do the thing. I could help people in their business. I can do all of that. But I was always like, but what if they ask about your partner? Or what if they ask about your family? And that’s like not a way to be.

Nicole: not the thing, isn’t it wild though when you, cause also let’s just 8 10 years ago, all of us were, It’s amazing, you think in your early 30s that you know something, you don’t know anything. Like, it’s amazing how, like, still, I guess almost 20s, like, you can be in your early 30s, and you don’t realize that until you’re in your early 40s.

And you’re like, oh wow, I was still really a kid. We worry about the wrong things. Like, the only difference in your 30s is that you’re actually doing it, but you’re worried about the wrong, like, the thing you’re most nervous about, you’ll admire someone else doing right, but they’re worried about other things, you know?

Kendra: Yeah. Yeah, that’s

Nicole: kind of you. But when I tell you, I didn’t see what you saw, you know, I was like, this girl’s got it together. And true proof evident happening. Now, if there’s something that you wish you could reclaim from that time, what do you think it would

Kendra: Oh, um, huh.

Nicole: Because so much has changed, you know what I mean? Like, like, I’ll even I’ll give you mine. So the thing that I wish I could reclaim from my 30s, like early 30s, the time that we met that phase, is I wish I could reclaim my tolerance for risk. I feel like I’ve gotten to the point now where it’s like, eh, you know what I mean?

Where it’s like, I will, you know, Take tiny

Kendra: risks if you will, but like between the babies,

Nicole: sort of my age knowing things are changing and maybe it’s just wisdom You know, maybe I’ll look back at 40 and be like, oh no, you were still risky It’s just that you got wise about the risk I don’t know, but when I was in my 30s if someone was like, oh, I’ll meet with you for five minutes I’m hopping on a plane to see you know what I mean?

And now I’m like, well, what do the kids need

Kendra: You know,

Nicole: know, am I tired or what to do? Tuesday giving, you know, like, you know

Kendra: know what I’m talking about. It’s the who all gon be there.

Nicole: you know, I didn’t use that as much. But then, you know, but now it’s like, it really is a thing. And I think there are times where I kind of miss that

Kendra: there are

Nicole: fire about like taking that risk, you know.

Kendra: ability to be very spontaneous. I am not that right now. Like I’m like, if it’s not on the calendar in advance, 100 percent planned out, I need the agenda ahead of time. And while that serves me well in my anxiety, well, you know, um, like I need that, you know, for that reason, you know, my wife would definitely let you know, like, okay, Kendrick, can we just,

Nicole: a little bit.

Kendra: just a little

Nicole: Alex is the same way. Yes. Yeah. What was it? It wasn’t yesterday. It was the day before that. He was like, Oh, I’m coming home early from the studio. Let’s do a date night. Whatever. We get home and you know what happens if you don’t have date night planned, it’s like 830. It’s like,

Kendra: Yeah. We just stay in. Yeah. I,

Nicole: we just stay in? And he’s like, no, let’s go out. We got to get out. We can’t always be in. We got to stay. And I’m like, well, I mean, but if we go out, it’s already nine.

Kendra: If you think about it for more than 15 minutes, it’s like, it’s done.

Nicole: It’s same thing with Netflix. If I have to look for a movie for 50 minutes at this

Kendra: point.

Nicole: Let’s go to bed.

You know, we’ll talk. We’ll stay up in bed on our phones.

Kendra: Right. Well,

Nicole: let’s have a date in bed on our phones. We’ll show we’ll show each other. Tick tocks. Isn’t that fun? You know what I mean? Like, I just, I gotta listen. Let’s not fight. Let’s make a promise right now. We’ll wrap on this to not find ourselves in a rut in three years

Kendra: rut in three

Nicole: flex enough.

We can flex a little bit more.

Kendra: put that in the calendar.

I’ll put a flex space on the calendar

Nicole: If that isn’t us right now, we’re like, all right, cool. Let’s schedule our spontaneity. I love it. I love to see it. Kendra, I love you. I’m so grateful that you’re here. I cannot wait for us to regroup and do this again in a year and we talk about our babies. going to be a blessing. Where can people find you? Where can they follow you? I know for a fact, y’all, please, please, you know, I don’t always send people anywhere. You’ve got to follow Kendra. She is your go to. If you love me for business, you know, things, she is a financial expert who is business minded, business oriented.

She has an incredible team behind her. I actively send her clients, you know, there’s, I send her people for sure. So, tell them where they can find you.

Kendra: the best place is going to be thefinancefem. com. That’s the website. or thefinancefem on Instagram as well.

those are going to be your best

Nicole: Oh, you have a podcast. Let

Kendra: Oh yeah, the podcast, Kendra Nicole podcast. so you can definitely just type in search Kendra Nicole and I’ll be there.

Nicole: Oh, so good. We’ll have the details in the show notes. You guys make sure you follow and Kendra. I cannot wait to have you back. I love you so

Kendra: love you too.