Season 4, Episode 17: Pick a side!

Season 4, Episode 17

Nicole:

Hey, y’all. So I want to dive in. I wanted to talk about this election season now. Let’s just pause for a sec. I know so many of you are like, Nicole, what? We hang out here to talk about mom life, business, all these other things. We don’t really do the politics thing. Now, I want to talk about it because one, if you remember at the top of the season, I said that I was going to dive deep in it.

Talking about things that not just really matter but that are like honestly in front of us that we have to talk about But I also want to let you know that one poli sci major in college. I grew up in DC You know, I am a politics girl. Like I love it. It is something I care about I have studied the history of it Like it’s not it’s not something that for me is casual, right?

Like I actually really do love it, right? And when I say love it, I mean like the nuances and the ins and outs of the government, it’s workings, right? This is not party based. It’s just simply the structure of how things work, right? That’s the first thing. And then the second thing is, I really want to start speaking out more about things that I know I’m gifted to speak out on.

And what do I mean by that? I mean that I know it may be a tough topic because it has become taken and used and misused in order to control our behavior in so many different ways. And I just want to give a little bit more power back to you by recalibrating, by taking some of what you’re hearing, maybe cutting out a little bit of the noise of it, if you will, and giving it to you unadulterated, you know, so when I pull some of the topics, you may not get pop culture from me.

There are some things that I’ll talk about if I think it’s relevant, but we’re going into a heavy political season, and they’re going to be things that I see. And I just want to make sure that you also know that as your friend, I’m always going to come to you and talk to you about these things from the most grace filled, most honest and balanced, most matter of fact, sort of way, because there just aren’t enough spaces like that.

I just, I just want to let you know, there just aren’t enough spaces like that. And it is one of my jams. That is something I am able to do. So first thing I want you to know is I have a membership community that I’ve had for over 10 years. Some of you may not know about this. It is an incredible group of over a thousand people, and we have been in the business trenches for gosh, eight years now, nine years.

And in this community. We talk about politics, and I want you to know that in this community, we have every single range of representation. We have LGBTQIA, we’ve got, um, moms, we’ve got single moms, we’ve got, you know, every single ethnic, racial group. We’ve got every single religious background and group. I mean, when I tell you our space, oh, we’ve got Southern moms and Northern moms and West Coast people.

And we’ve got people who just identify as liberal. We have people who are agnostic. Like when I say truly, it is a slice of the American pie. It is a slice of life in our community. But the thing that we share is a common core value is that we are all people who truly care about the goodness of the world.

And that’s kind of the tone that I want to, to set for this conversation and any other time that I bring up politics. So in the future, I’ll just do a little reminder saying, hey, you remember who we are, remember how we want to show up, so that that way we can kind of just get into it. But I just want to kind of let you guys hear now, everything in that community is also a reflection of what’s here.

We are able to talk about politics in that room without going at each other’s necks. We are able to talk about politics in that room and have different opinions or thoughts without going at each other’s necks. And we’re also able to do that here. I want you to understand, friend, that we are actually able to listen to opinions or thoughts or facts that may be a little uncomfortable for us, or a little different from what we expected, or that may be a new thought that causes our brain to kind of noodle things differently and be okay.

We also possess the autonomy and ability to step out of something that makes us uncomfortable. And I want you to know that you also possess that here. That if at any point in time you’re like, Nicole, I am just, like, listen, privately, right? I’m not ready to hear about that sort of thing. Like, it just, I’m not saying you’re wrong if you mention something about this sort of political, you know, plight or something that might be affecting the black community or something that might be affecting a, um, a perspective that might be held by people who are lighter-brighters or Caucasian, you know, that, may have a thought processing that, you know, this is really what we think, you know, and we may feel it this way, you know, but this is what it means, right?

And if it feels weird for you, you’re allowed to step out of it. You’re allowed to step out and then, and come back to it. Listen, that’s what you do when you’re working out. If the, if the reps get too long, take a minute, take a breather, but get back in the game, right? Get back in the game. And I say all of this to let you know that there’s also grace, so much grace.

Every single thing I will talk to you about here is grace. filled and loaded with grace because we are all learning and feeling and coming to our values from our own experiences. So if you are a mama in Ohio who lives in a small town and there are no brown people there, it is is naturally going to be harder for you to understand the lived experiences of a black immigrant, you know, living in New York City.

You don’t know any of those people. That’s not part of your world. And it is harder for you to understand those experiences, right? So I have grace for the existence and circumstances you are in around your exposure to those learning opportunities. However, and this is a big however, even within that grace, it doesn’t absolve us, which means it doesn’t remove us from the responsibility to try to learn and acknowledge that people who live somewhere else and are different from us may have different thoughts, experiences, values, and perspectives around issues.

Does that make sense? Kind of like if you are raising a child, right? Like so when we give birth to our children, we hope and pray that they’re happy, healthy, that they don’t run into any difficulties in life, and that they’re able to approach life with all the benefits and perks that will make their life easy for them.

That is every mama parent’s dream, right? However, you may have a kid who learns differently. Or you may have a kid who is neurodiverse and requires additional support in order to be their fullest selves. You may have a child that, um, has a physical change, you know, that means that they just have to approach the world a little differently and the world should adjust to meet them in that moment.

Whatever it is, you didn’t anticipate that going into parenting. But you adjusted and then you proceed to inform and learn yourself so you can best help your child have the fullest life. That is the same thing we need to afford to each other. So when talking about politics, when we talk about, you know, anything around difficulties with racism or around classism or around any of those things that can feel like really tough topics to Talk about in a way that doesn’t make us either feel like trash or trigger our emotions.

I just want to let you know, we can have those conversations here. Walk away maybe feeling challenged or a little bit like, man, I had to grin and bear it. That was tough. I heard some stuff that I don’t, I don’t really know if I 100 percent agree with, but know that It doesn’t mean that we’re bad people.

It just means that we may have been exposed to something new and that we have room to learn. Right. So with that said, I want to talk to you about politics today and that we’re going into an election season. And you’ve probably already noticed things are taking up. So when I say they’re kicking up, you’re seeing more news about the Republican party efforts in order to get their candidates elected, um, across the board.

And you’re seeing more news around the Democratic party. Thank you. And they’re, job getting. people elected within their party as well. And I say all this to say, I have my own political views. I have my own perspectives, but I really want to talk about it in kind of a neutralized way.

just because I think it’s really important to understand what is happening so that that way we can apply that first and then go into the value part. So when I say what is happening, I’m telling you things that would happen doesn’t matter which party it is. So before an election season, you will always see parties trying to follow through on their biggest Political claims doesn’t matter who it is.

It could be liberal. It could be conservative. Doesn’t matter You will see new laws going through you will see bigger benefits being promised You will see things like student loans canceled and tax cuts and tax benefits and perks You will see galas and dinners and fundraisers. You will see more ads and more You know, muck throwing, you know, and, and that is all part of the process.

So I want to let you know that if you’re feeling like, gosh, it seems like one side over the other side is being meaner or saying more ridiculous things, or suddenly I’m seeing more beneficial programs coming through, or I’m seeing more promises being made. I want to let you know, do not be confused or sucked into thinking that that is based on a political party.

It is not. It is solely based on the season we are in. These are all people who are trying to get votes, and we are coming up on November, and they want your votes. They’re going to do whatever is required to get them. The answer is the same for both parties. Furthermore, I want to talk to you about the issues and that’s going to be the main focus for today.

As you are going into this election season, you are going to hear lots of issues coming to light. Issues like abortion, issues like immigration, issues like taxes, issues like inflation. All of these words, I know when I said them, made you feel a feeling, whether we like it or not. Right? Because We’re using our own lived experiences.

We have a reaction to these things. So when I said abortion, some of you may have felt like, Oh, like I just, Get your hands off my body. Like, I’m so tired of it. Right? And some of you might have felt like, Yes, we need to keep making progress towards making sure that this is banned. Right? Like, you may have, depending on how you feel.

Some of you might have been in the middle. You know? Which is, I think, a thing that we don’t talk enough about. Where some are like, yeah, you know, I like seeing some of these things happen, but I feel like this is too far. Right? Either way, you’re going to see both parties, liberal and conservative, talking around these sorts of things in specific ways and trying to advance policies to make it look like they’re doing something that will make you create a feeling.

And so, Here’s the thing I want to tell you, and this is really important as you get onto the internet and you start getting all these things marketed to you and you start having conversations like the one I’m having now and I am prepping you well in advance of the holiday season, right?

As you start going into these conversations, I want you to know That each party’s primary job is to divide you so you stand with them. That is not a one sided thing. So you will hear a liberal, you know, audience saying like they’re just being divisive and you’ll hear a conservative audience saying they’re just being divisive.

And I want you to know that both parties are divisive because you only have one vote. So, I need you to be divided where you stand clearly with me and not with the other. And the best way to get people to be divisive is to make them feel like things are black and white.

And I want you to understand that that is standard politics.

It helps to convince people that there are sides because they need you to stand on one of them. And I want to tell you the truth going into this because I think it’ll really affect your mindset during this process. cause if you’re anything like me, this season can be exhausting.

Having people on Facebook in the comments, going in people on Instagram with all the hate people, just Going in and in and in and in and in on on just negativity and it just can feel like so Personal and if anything sometimes you become shocked looking at friends and family and saying how could you believe that?

How could you think that’s true, especially for those of you who may be in interfaith interracial Interbelief families, you know and saying to yourself I cannot believe that this side of you exists and that you came to these beliefs, right? so I just want to let you know we’re going to start seeing more of that again, because that’s how politics works, particularly around presidential elections.

And I want you to know that whenever someone says all of this, none of this is true. So let me give you some examples on hot button political issues. Gun reform. When people hear gun reform, it feels like, you know, on one side, it’s like, oh, here we go. They’re trying to take our guns and it’s my American right.

On the other side, it’s, oh my gosh, how could anybody want guns? There’s no point. They’re weapons to kill. I want to let you know that the truth actually lies in the middle. And this is a statistical fact, right? Statistical fact. Most Americans are actually okay with gun ownership. It’s just that they’re not okay with the ownership of assault rifles.

And most Americans, when I say most, I want to say the number, I don’t, I’m, this is me making up a number, so I’m going to call out that I’m making up one, but I think it’s roughly in the range, but you can Google it very, very quickly. I think the number is like 90%, or, or high 80s. That, and when I say I’m making it up, I mean I’m not far off, right?

It’s not like I’m, it’s not like the number is actually 10%, right? But I think it’s like 80 or 90 percent of Americans all agree on a, um, restriction or ban on assault rifles. Because they don’t believe that anybody needs to have the same tool that is used in wartime situations in their home. The tool itself isn’t, the, the tool of war, an assault rifle, um, is not use, and that’s like, when I say assault rifle, for those of y’all who are not, like, up on guns, it’s the one that shoots, like, a bajillion bullets at one time and all the bullets can, like, explode through walls and, like, and it’s, it’s, basically you can’t even use it for hunting because it would kill all your game.

Hmm? You know, like you, you would like blow up your stuff like it’s not used for hunting. It isn’t used for personal defense because it’s too difficult to use and it fires too many rounds at one and it’s also very big. Um, it’s not used for personal like home protection. It’s just, it doesn’t really serve a purpose outside of people who want to go take it out to ranges and just shoot it like as a hobby.

Like, those ranges could possibly even keep them in stock if you just wanted to check them out and shoot them, right? Because that’s literally how ineffective they are for the things that people typically want to have guns for. So, I say all this to let you know, and this is just, that’s just a general statement about the gun.

But I say all of this to say that Most Americans believe that that isn’t something you just need to keep in your home, and we also have data that supports that having them released in America in the masses actually has, um, I don’t even know if I if it’s fair for me to say contributed because I don’t actually know the statistical data around the contribution That may just be my opinion and I always want to be fair and balanced in that way But we do have data that most mass shootings that have occurred have involved an assault rifle, and I know that part.

So, I say all this to let you know that the point of that is, during an election season, you’re going to hear people say, Well, if you vote for those guys, they’re going to take our guns. And you’re going to hear people on the other side say, Well, if you vote for those guys, they’re going to say that guns are okay and they’re going to be in everybody’s home.

and to make us stand on one side of the other. But the truth is, most of us feel like, look, it’s okay if you have your personal weapon, but we really want some of these like bigger, more dangerous guns, you know, to not be readily available to just anybody to have in their home, because duh, what’s the point?

And I use this as an example to say that most of us are right in the middle. And when I tell you, as somebody who naturally is, uh, you aims to be grace inclined when I hear challenges. And I tell you when I say aim to be grace inclined, it doesn’t mean that I don’t get angry. It doesn’t mean that I’m not clear cut that racism is bad.

It’s not that I’m not clear cut that there are systemic racist systems that have oppressed marginalized people for years. I’m very clear cut on those things, right? You know, but I recognize that getting to solutions is the thing that parties try to capitalize on to win your vote.

So in this season, when you start hearing this information, whenever you hear someone saying this is like the easiest way to do it, you know, to kind of shape your thinking as you’re taking in political content, if someone comes to you and the answer sounds too clear cut, too black and white, You have to say to yourself, this sounds too easy, right?

Or too black and white, like, all this or all that. If it’s all this or all that, I guarantee you that that’s not a solution that’s actually going to move forward. And they’re just distracting you because they think it sounds good to you. So if someone’s like, oh yeah, what we need is a total, clear cut, outright ban on abortion nationwide, it can never happen and it can never be allowed.

Well, if you’re someone who really believes in that, who is very, very pro life, that sounds Fantastic, right? It’s like, that’s exactly what I want, right? However, the problem with that is, there’s no way on this planet you will get total and complete compliance with that law, even if you make penalties of death, even if you make fines.

You will not get every single person in America to agree to that. That just does not, that’s just not how the world works. We can all barely get all of our kids to agree to what’s for dinner. Am I right? Mamas like we, like there is a battle in our own home, right? So if we know that we have to say to ourselves, if someone is selling us on that idea, is that something they can even deliver?

Because they are playing to our emotions by making it seem like that’s something they can deliver. When in reality, someone who is speaking to a plan and a solution, that is graduated, meaning maybe we’ll start here, and then we’ll do a little of this, and then we’ll do this with our ultimate goal to reach something that looks like this.

is far more realistic. Banning all guns, never gonna happen. Guns are in homes, they’re off the record, gangs have them, they get smuggled into the country, y’all, all guns are never gonna get banned. That’s not a thing. But getting into a place where we’re able to say let’s get, assault rifles out of the hands of people who shouldn’t have them and maybe out of homes in general because we don’t need those, that’s a little more reasonable, right?

And so I want you to know going into political, into this political season, that it’s going to be really important for you to listen out for that because that sort of divisive language is actually the problem. It is actually the problem. Now, in terms of our personal responsibility with that knowledge, so one of the things that I’ve always tried to take very seriously is that I really really try to understand where people are coming from when they say what they say.

So what does that mean? If I’m sitting across from someone who says, well, I am extremely pro life and I 100 percent believe that I am not okay with any form of abortion whatsoever and in any circumstances whatsoever. Now to me, right, and I’ll just say this outright because, you know, I know that this is a complex issue, but I have my values on it.

I absolutely I’m pro choice, and I know that that can be difficult for some people to hear, maybe even surprising because as a Christian, you know, a lot of people identify Christianity directly with being pro life, and I’ll let you know why I’m pro choice, and you know, and again, I’ll let you know why that is, and I don’t want that thought to make you think that it influences my ability to understand and hear the perspectives of those that are pro life and really.

identify with some of their thoughts, but here’s why I’m pro choice. And this, the reason why I’m pro choice is because I distinctly and entirely do not want the government to have any say over any aspects of my reproduction. Lean in and hear what I’m saying on this. It’s not just because I feel like I need to have the right to be able to, to terminate a pregnancy if it is unwanted, unsafe, um, unviable.

It’s not that. It’s also because I do not want to open the door to the government saying you are too, uh, you don’t meet the financial requirements to have children. So we’re going to mandate that you stay on birth control. Because we control all aspects of reproduction. You are too old to have a child, so we are not encouraging that.

And so we will not fund through health insurance, if I’m on a government thing, anything related to fertility. We will not, um, fund any, any, like, do you understand what I’m getting at? Like, when you open up the door, If I want to have 15 children, I want to be able to have my 15 children. And if I open up the door to the government being able to put any stipulations around whether or not I can or cannot have a child, then it can run the risk of crossing into territory that we’ve never thought of.

A simple example would be this IVF situation. You know, as the government had made, progressive moves towards, identifying when life conceives, one of the things that got caught up in that is, The embryo situation and saying that if you’re going through IVF, you know, and IVF is considered an embryo and, you know, it was just this whole complex thing that ended up resulting in IVF having to stop entirely and I want to say it was Alabama.

Making up, I might be making up the state, you know, but um, basically it was, it might have been Mississippi, because Mississippi has some of the most, um, restrictive laws regarding that, but in any case, uh, it ended up putting a halt on IVF. And the reason why they put a halt on it was because they couldn’t determine if something were to happen by accident to one of these embryos, you know, could they be on the hook for potentially murder?

Because if it’s considered a life, you know, Because it’s been created. Does this, does this have rights? Do I need to pay child support? Like, there were just so many questions, you know, that came into play and, um, and they had to reevaluate, you know, sort of that statement because again, we’re going into areas that created complexity.

So if you’re wondering why I’m pro choice, it’s that, right? Um, that amongst other things. other things for sure. But I just categorically do not want anyone ever telling me what I can do around my babies. Um, because I want to be able to have lots of babies. I want to be able to do what’s right to make sure I can have lots of babies.

So if I have a medical situation that says that I must terminate in order to be able to have 10 more babies, then I want to be able to have the right to do that. And I also want women to be able to make that choice with their doctor and all those details and not have to run it up the chain to, any other organization that may not have all that information in an urgent situation.

Like, there’s just lots of reasons why I don’t want to talk about my body with, um, the government. So, that is why. That’s an issue that I can say pretty categorically how I feel about it. But it also is really important to understand that It’s complex, and most of us live in the gray, you know, most of us politically are purple, you know, like there are some areas where we really feel strongly, and there are other areas where we don’t feel so strongly, I, I saw a video the other day of a woman who was being interviewed, and she said, you know, they were like, is there anything that you like about it?

She identified as a conservative and she was like, is there anything you like about the liberal party? And her statement was, yeah, I really like how accepting they are of love and how they’re willing to let people get married no matter who they love and how they’re so encouraging of that. And, you know, she was going on and on about that, but understanding that it is a core conservative, ideal, you know, within the party around marital rights, you know, and who has the right to marry and who shouldn’t and what makes a marriage and what parties are involved in that.

And, and so it’s just very interesting to hear someone, and I say this, you know, not speaking to that issue, you know, but in saying very clearly, you know, it’s interesting to see that as time has gone on, so many of us have evolved because I think that we’re starting to have more shared experiences. And with the advent of the internet and the expansion of TV and streaming, we’re starting to see more stories and we have a natural heart and compassion around different scenarios and it’s rounding out our experiences.

And I want you to know that If you are finding yourself to be a person who stands more in the gray, who identifies more in the purple, that that is allowed. And I want you to, to have that and not feel like you have to be as polarized as the world may desire. Because polarization is what’s required to keep us de unified so that we can be used for specific purposes.

So, I want you to know that as you’re looking to parties, and as you’re listening to things, I want you to really explore what is being said around solutions, because this year you’re going to have lots of people who are offering, well, we did this, we paid off all your student loans, or people saying we’re going to do all this with the immigrants, you know, you’re going to hear lots of things from every side, and I just want you to start asking yourself, well, what is the solution?

Not just, hey, that check mark sounds good. And once you start diving into the solution, you may find that the solutions may not suit you. And if that’s the case, keep looking for a solution that does and vote that way. Vote that way. Vote policies and not parties. Because at the end of the day, that is actually what’s going to lead you to a process that’s going to be effective for our kids in the future.

I want you to know that one of my really good friends, Sharon McMahon of Sharon Says So on Instagram is a great person to follow, and I say that because she is politically neutral, truly, her platform is simply a platform.

Here’s the, here’s the data and you could actually ask her questions. She’s a government teacher So her job is to teach government as a concept and if you ask her, hey, the Supreme Court did this thing What is this thing called? She’ll just tell you what the thing is called She won’t say this is what it should have been or here’s what’s this.

It’s just here’s the fact Her name is Sharon says so she has a following in the millions. She has influence with political parties because they wish they could buy her out because she has that much of a say in people’s hearts and minds. because she’s a teacher, it is her heart to teach. And, she has a book coming out in September called The Small and the Mighty, and it is actually available right now for pre-order.

I would love for you to grab a copy. I purchased 10 right out of the gate because she is all about how, as individuals, We have the ability to be the unsung heroes of the political process, that we have the right to take it back. We have the right to shape a world that is actually a reflection of the world that we want our kids to grow up in, and not a reflection of what the powers that be think serves them.

And that’s it. She is encouraging all of us to be engaged in the political process. And the first step in engagement is information and information around solutions, not divisive political bullet points. and that inherently is what’s going to save democracy. That is what’s going to put us into a place where we can say, look, we are passing on to our kids a process that is reflective of what’s going to help the masses and a shared growth around our ideals and what we believe.

But it does start with us. So follow Sharon if you want to know more about the political process and you want to be informed in advance of this election season, but know that This was our prep talk so that you know that these conversations are going to happen and a little bit of education on how to approach a lot of what you’re seeing that’s already coming at you left and right to focus on, well, how are you going to do it?

Not just what are you going to do, how are you going to do it? If they aren’t able to articulate how or they’re giving you a BS runaround that you know is not actually going to work because you’re smart enough to know what’s going to work, look elsewhere because that person is not keeping it real. All right, we’re capable of doing this.

We are able to have these conversations. We are able to talk about these things and hold space for the fact that yes, people might think, vote or desire differently from us, but it doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, we all want our babies to thrive. We all want to be able to have food on our tables.

We all want to feel comfortable in our jobs and be able to have a little bit extra breathing room to take a vacation, do a repair, you know, save for the future. We all want the same thing. Do not let political parties get you convinced that we just don’t know how and we cannot get there. We just have to figure out how to get there.

That’s the only thing that we’ve been arguing about and there is a happy Medium. Don’t give up, stay in the game, and just keep listening in because I always have a couple of these episodes as we get closer to November. Alright? So feel free to DM me, send messages, leave a voicemail, comment below, as we have these conversations. I cannot wait to chat about it more.